Middle Years with Bridget KerMorris

Bridget KerMorris, JD, MA
  • 5.0 (13)
  • Parenting

The middle school years can feel like the start of losing your child. One day they’re chatty and affectionate. The next they’re rolling their eyes, questioning everything, and leaving you wondering, “Am I doing this all wrong?” The truth is, middle school isn’t the end of your relationship. It’s the beginning of a new one. Each week, middle school therapist, coach, and creator of Steady + Connected Parenting™, Bridget KerMorris answers a real question from a real parent. Together, you’ll move beyond quick parenting tips to understand what’s really happening underneath your child’s behavior, what’s getting activated inside of you, and how to lead your family with steadiness, warmth, and confidence. Whether you’re navigating friendships, technology, ADHD, sibling conflict, identity, motivation, anxiety, or simply wondering how to stay connected to a child who suddenly seems impossible to reach, each episode offers practical tools, fresh perspective, and the kind of relational clarity™ that helps both parents and kids thrive. Bridget is a Stanford-trained lawyer with thousands of hours of education and experience as a marriage and family therapist specializing in family systems, neurodivergence, and relational trauma. She’s also a mom of seven, currently parenting her fourth middle schooler, and the creator behind @bridget.parentcoach, where more than 100,000 parents turn each day for grounded, compassionate support. Because your middle schooler isn’t asking for a perfect parent. They’re asking, “Do you like me?” “Will you come back for me?” This podcast will help you answer, “Yes.”

  1. 3d ago

    With Friendships, Middle Schoolers Don't Always "Work It Out on Their Own" (and that's not a failing)

    We tell middle schoolers to “work it out on their own” all the time. But what if that advice is leaving kids alone with relationship skills they haven’t actually learned yet? In this episode, I’m sharing a piece of my recent Social Lives of Middle Schoolers workshop and challenging one of the most common rules parents hear about friendship struggles. Because stepping in does not have to mean taking over. We talk about: why “let them figure it out” can quietly protect the child causing harmthe difference between a character problem and a capacity problemhow to know when to stay on the sideline and when it’s time to step onto the fieldwhat intervention looks like without fixing the friendship for your childwhat to do when your child is the one being hurthow to respond when your child is the one who caused the harmwhy bullying is never a “work it out yourselves” situationhow teaching relationship skills now shapes the friendships, partnerships, and hard conversations your child will have for the rest of their lifeThe goal is not to play the game for your middle schooler. It’s to be the coach: on the sideline most of the time, reading the field always, and willing to step in when the moment is asking for more than your child can currently handle. Your child doesn’t need a parent who never gets involved. They need a parent who knows when. I hope you'll also click here to find me on Instagram. Click here to be the first to hear about upcoming workshops. Ready to build a relationship that can weather the middle school years and beyond? Check out my Unbreakable Bond resource (click here). It's designed to help you create the kind of connection that lasts through disagreements, growing independence, and all the beautiful, messy moments in between. And if you're looking for a way to grow closer to your middle schooler, I hope you'll join me for 30 Days Closer in September. Click here to check it out!!

  2. Aug 20

    How Do I Keep Everyone In The House Safe? (when one kid's big feelings fill the whole house)

    How do you make home a safe haven for a middle schooler whose big feelings are loud, when that same loudness makes home feel less safe for everyone else? In this episode, I answer a mom whose 13-year-old is being evaluated for ADHD, has significant sensory sensitivities, and can become loud or aggressive when overwhelmed. We talk about: what sensory overwhelm can actually feel likewhy ADHD is not simply “an inability to focus”helping a child recognize overwhelm before someone else has to absorb itprotecting siblings without shaming the child who is strugglingREPAIR (both ways)™ after harmwhat additional professional support can helpThe goal isn’t a perfectly peaceful home. It’s a home where everybody’s experience matters, harm gets interrupted, and no one has to disappear to make room for someone else. This episode includes discussion of ADHD, sensory processing differences, and autism. It is coaching and education, not diagnosis or therapy. I hope you'll also click here to find me on Instagram. Click here to be the first to hear about upcoming workshops. Ready to build a relationship that can weather the middle school years and beyond? Check out my Unbreakable Bond resource (click here). It's designed to help you create the kind of connection that lasts through disagreements, growing independence, and all the beautiful, messy moments in between.

  3. Aug 15

    I Genuinely Don’t Understand Why This Is a Crisis (when your middle schooler gets completely stuck on something small)

    When your middle schooler is melting down over a stained sweatshirt, a messy room, or something that seems objectively small, it can be hard not to think: Why is this such a crisis? And then the parenting questions start. Is this anxiety? Am I making it worse if I help? Should I be teaching them to tolerate the discomfort? Could this be something like OCD? Or am I overreacting by even wondering? In this episode of Middle Years with Bridget KerMorris, Bridget walks through how to take your child’s distress seriously without rushing to explain, minimize, or diagnose it. You’ll learn: why behavior is information, but not yet an explanationhow the Steady + Connected Parenting™ “filing cabinet” helps us understand the meaning kids may be making from an experiencewhat happens when your child’s urgency becomes your urgencyhow to use the discernment dials to track intensity, flexibility, frequency, and interference over timewhat A.R.E. Parenting™ can look like in the actual hard momenthow to get CURIOUS later, when your child is able to reflecthow to REPAIR when the pattern turns into a fightwhat OCD actually is, how it differs from simply wanting things “just right,” and when it makes sense to seek professional supportMost importantly, this episode offers a middle ground between dismissing your child’s distress and letting their distress run the whole family. The behavior is information. It is not yet an explanation. You don’t need certainty in order to stay connected while you figure out what the information is telling you. I hope you'll also click here to find me on Instagram. Click here to be the first to hear about upcoming workshops. Ready to build a relationship that can weather the middle school years and beyond? Check out my Unbreakable Bond resource (click here). It's designed to help you create the kind of connection that lasts through disagreements, growing independence, and all the beautiful, messy moments in between.

  4. Aug 8

    I'm Just Trying to Help . . . Why Does Everything Turn Into a Fight?

    You ask about homework --> Your middle schooler gets defensive. You offer a reminder. --> They hear criticism. And before you know it, both of you are caught in a conversation that feels much bigger than the missing assignment. In this episode, I’m answering a parent whose middle schooler becomes angry whenever help with school is offered. We’ll talk about why needing support can feel so exposing during these years, why anger often protects more vulnerable feelings, and how parents can respond without either pushing harder or quietly giving up. You’ll learn: Why middle schoolers can become unreliable narrators of themselves when emotion, incomplete information, and a still-developing brain collideHow to notice what school struggles are bringing up in you before deciding what to sayWhy the best script in the world will not land without steadiness and self-compassionHow to have one calm, curious conversation about what help has come to meanWhat to say when your child snaps, shuts down, or insists, “That’s just how I am”How to help your child separate struggle from identityAt the heart of this episode is one idea I hope you carry with you: Help tells us what we need. It does not tell us who we are. This is bigger than homework. It is about helping your middle schooler build a healthier relationship with struggle, support, and themselves. Ready to build a relationship that can weather the middle school years and beyond? Check out my Unbreakable Bond resource (click here). It's designed to help you create the kind of connection that lasts through disagreements, growing independence, and all the beautiful, messy moments in between. I hope you'll also click here to find me on Instagram. Click here to be the first to hear about upcoming workshops.

  5. Jul 31

    Middle School Friendships Are Practice (and that's actually good news)

    What if your middle schooler's friendship struggles aren't a sign that something is wrong? What if they're exactly where they're supposed to be? In this special episode of Middle Years, I'm sharing one of the most important sections from my Social Lives of Middle Schoolers workshop. You'll hear the big reframe that changes how I think about middle school friendships: Friendships are where kids practice. Home is where they're safe. From there, we dive into the very first shift every parent needs to make before trying to help their child through friendship drama. Because when our child gets left out, ignored, or hurt by a friend, it doesn't just activate them. It activates us, too. In this episode, we'll talk about: Why middle school friendships are supposed to be messy.The difference between what happened and the meaning we make of it.How your own middle school experiences can quietly shape the way you respond to your child's.Why your steadiness helps keep one hard friendship moment from becoming your child's identity.This episode is an invitation to stop trying to fix every friendship problem and start tending to something even more important: your child's sense of belonging. Ready to build a relationship that can weather the middle school years and beyond? Check out my Unbreakable Bond resource (click here). It's designed to help you create the kind of connection that lasts through disagreements, growing independence, and all the beautiful, messy moments in between. I hope you'll also click here to find me on Instagram. Click here to be the first to hear about upcoming workshops.

  6. Jul 24

    Am I Too Sensitive? (it hurts when your middle schooler argues with everything you say)

    Am I too sensitive or is something else going on? Do you ever walk away from a conversation with your middle schooler feeling . . . dismissed and, well, kind of small? Maybe every casual comment turns into a debate. Maybe they correct you, play devil's advocate, or seem determined to prove you wrong. And somewhere in the middle of it all, you find yourself wondering: Am I just too sensitive? In this episode, we're unpacking what's really happening when your middle schooler argues with everything you say and why this dynamic can feel so hard. We'll talk about: Why middle schoolers often debate ideas more easily than they share their feelingsWhat may be happening developmentally beneath the constant correctingWhy your sensitivity isn't a flaw to fixHow to have an honest conversation that builds connection instead of defensivenessPractical scripts to help your child learn to disagree without damaging the relationshipThis isn't about raising a child who always agrees with you. It's about raising a child who can think independently while still protecting the relationship. And it's about remembering that you are a human in a real relationship with your child. If you're longing for conversations that leave you feeling closer instead of farther apart, this episode is for you. Ready to build a relationship that can weather the middle school years and beyond? Check out my Unbreakable Bond resource (click here). It's designed to help you create the kind of connection that lasts through disagreements, growing independence, and all the beautiful, messy moments in between. I hope you'll also click here to find me on Instagram.

  7. Jul 18

    “I Hate you!!” (exactly what to do when your middle schooler says something cruel)

    When your middle schooler says, "I hate you," it hurts. Whether they say it once in a moment of frustration or it has become a daily pattern, those words can leave you wondering: Am I doing something wrong? Should I ignore it? How do I stop this without pushing my child further away? In this episode, I'm answering one parent's heartfelt question about a middle schooler who tells her parents and younger sibling, "I hate you," every single day. We'll talk about what's likely happening underneath those words and, more importantly, what you can actually do about it. Inside this episode, you'll learn: Why "I hate you" is almost never about hateThe first step parents can't afford to skip before respondingHow to have a calm, connection-centered conversation outside the momentWhat to say (and do) when it happens againWhy boundaries and connection must work togetherHow to protect younger siblings without shaming your middle schoolerHow to help your child replace hurtful words with healthier ways of expressing big feelingsThis isn't about excusing hurtful behavior. It's about leading your child with steadiness while helping them build the relational skills they'll use for the rest of their lives. Because your middle schooler isn't just learning how to manage emotions. They're learning how to stay connected to the people they love when those emotions get big. If this episode resonates with you, I'd love to continue supporting you. My Steady + Connected Parenting Workshops dive deeper into the topics middle school parents ask about most often, with practical tools you can start using right away.  Go here to be the first to hear about upcoming workshops: https://kermorris.myflodesk.com/parentingworkshops You can find me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/bridget.parentcoach/ The Ultimate Middle School Parent Survival Toolkit is here: https://bridgetparentco.samcart.com/products/ultimate-toolkit

  8. Jul 10

    Everything Is So Unfair! (what to do when your middle schooler puts your parenting on trial)

    Do you ever feel like you’re constantly defending your parenting? Your middle schooler says, “That’s not fair!” and suddenly you’re explaining, justifying, presenting evidence, and reminding them what happened three months ago . . . only to realize you’re somehow arguing your case to a twelve-year-old. If so, you’re not alone. In this episode, we explore why middle schoolers and their siblings become so focused on fairness, what’s happening developmentally, why some neurodivergent kids experience perceived injustice even more intensely, and the attachment questions that are often hiding underneath sibling comparisons. We’ll also talk about: Why “fair” and “equal” are not the same thingHow to take your child’s feelings seriously without putting your parenting up for a voteWhat steady leadership looks like when your child disagrees with your decisionsHow to build a family culture where respectful disagreement strengthens relationships instead of turning your home into a courtroomBecause your child doesn’t need to walk away from every disagreement believing you were right. They need to know your relationship is strong enough to hold the disagreement. You can grab my free Social Guide and a seat at my free live Friendship Workshop on July 22 here:  https://kermorris.myflodesk.com/julyworkshop You can find Bridget on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/bridget.parentcoach/ The Ultimate Middle School Parent Survival Toolkit is here: https://bridgetparentco.samcart.com/products/ultimate-toolkit

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About

The middle school years can feel like the start of losing your child. One day they’re chatty and affectionate. The next they’re rolling their eyes, questioning everything, and leaving you wondering, “Am I doing this all wrong?” The truth is, middle school isn’t the end of your relationship. It’s the beginning of a new one. Each week, middle school therapist, coach, and creator of Steady + Connected Parenting™, Bridget KerMorris answers a real question from a real parent. Together, you’ll move beyond quick parenting tips to understand what’s really happening underneath your child’s behavior, what’s getting activated inside of you, and how to lead your family with steadiness, warmth, and confidence. Whether you’re navigating friendships, technology, ADHD, sibling conflict, identity, motivation, anxiety, or simply wondering how to stay connected to a child who suddenly seems impossible to reach, each episode offers practical tools, fresh perspective, and the kind of relational clarity™ that helps both parents and kids thrive. Bridget is a Stanford-trained lawyer with thousands of hours of education and experience as a marriage and family therapist specializing in family systems, neurodivergence, and relational trauma. She’s also a mom of seven, currently parenting her fourth middle schooler, and the creator behind @bridget.parentcoach, where more than 100,000 parents turn each day for grounded, compassionate support. Because your middle schooler isn’t asking for a perfect parent. They’re asking, “Do you like me?” “Will you come back for me?” This podcast will help you answer, “Yes.”

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