The Best Friend Project

Rachel Joy Swardson
  • 5.0 (16)
  • Relationships

When her best friendship ended, Rachel Joy Swardson went to the bathroom. Hundreds of them. She taped up postcards with a QR code in bathroom stalls, asking the question she was too hurt and humiliated to verbalize, "How do you do friendship?" Thousands of women answered, and their stories changed and healed her. So she brought them forward, here for you on The Best Friend Project podcast.

Episodes

  1. 4d ago

    Ep 8: (Part 2): Healing the Friendship Wound | Melanie Curtis & Shannon Lee

    What does it actually take to keep a friendship for 20 years? In Part 2 of this conversation, best friends Melanie Curtis and Shannon Lee show us — through wine, tears, ayahuasca, and a whole lot of radical honesty. In this episode of The Best Friend Project, host Rachel Joy Swardson sits down with lifelong best friends Melanie Curtis and Shannon to unpack the real mechanics of a friendship built to last. They get honest about the moments most of us hide: the small confession over a bottle of wine that could've quietly become resentment, the hard conversation in the back seat of a car when heartbreak made one of them pull away, and the shadow parts of ourselves we'd rather no one ever see. Together they explore the difference between putting yourself first, putting the other person first, and the reframe that changes everything — putting the friendship first. You'll hear why coming forward with an uncomfortable truth builds more trust than staying silent ever could, how deeper healing work in one area of life can quietly make you a better friend in all of them, and why so many of us were never taught that platonic love deserves the same intention we pour into romance and career. In This Episode:  The wine bottle confession how one small moment of honesty ("that was me") became a 20-year lesson in choosing the friendship over your egoWhat "shadow work" really means and why looking at the parts of ourselves we'd rather hide is the secret to showing up as a better friendPutting yourself first vs. putting the friendship first Why coming forward builds trust like nothing else — Shannon on how plant medicine and deep inner work helped her see her own patterns, own her part, and find peace when a letter went unansweredWhy friendship breakups can hurt more than romantic ones Connect with Melanie and Shannon: @melaniecurtis11 MelanieCurtis.com @luacheialuminosa  @greatspiritfarm About The Best Friend Podcast The Best Friend Podcast is where original friendship research meets real-life stories. Host Rachel Joy Swardson, founder of The Best Friend Project, investigates how women find, make, lose, and keep the platonic loves of their lives through original data, personal experience, and candid conversations. Learn more, take the survey, and share your friendship story at TheBestFriendProject.co. Chapters:  0:00 Previously On: Have I Loved My Friends Fully? 1:05 Do You Have a "Friendship Type"? 2:30 Becoming the Safe Container for Each Other 3:20 The Wine Bottle Story: Honesty Over Ego 5:20 Shadow Work: The Parts of Us We Hide 7:00 Pulling Away During Heartbreak 8:30 The Backseat Conversation 10:30 You Can't Cry With a Closed Heart 12:10 When You Need to Put Yourself First — and Say So 14:40 The Reframe: Put the Friendship First 15:20 Red Flags & Why Coming Forward Builds Trust 16:40 Ayahuasca & Healing the Friendship Wound 18:40 The Letter That Got No Reply 21:00 Why Friendship Breakups Hurt More 22:00 How Deep Healing Made Me a Better Friend 24:00 Society Deprioritizes Friendship — Let's Change That 26:00 Childhood Friendship Trauma & the Survey Data 27:00 Connect With Melanie & Shannon 29:20 Rachel's Reflection: Always Put the Friendship First #TheBestFriendProject #WomensFriendships #FemaleFriendship #FriendshipBreakup #BestFriends #FriendshipGoals #AdultFriendships #HealingTheFriendshipWound #ShadowWork #EmotionalHealing #Vulnerability #FriendshipAdvice #WomenSupportingWomen #PlantMedicine #Ayahuasca #PersonalGrowth #Boundaries #IntentionalLiving #Podcast #FriendshipPodcast

  2. Jul 7

    Ep 7: (Part 1): A Skydiver, an Ayahuasca Guide, and a 20-Year Best Friendship | Melanie Curtis & Shannon Leigh

    It was a short video. Not even two minutes long. Just two friends singing their hearts that made Rachel cry, and question everything about her own friendships. This is the conversation that followed. Scrolling Instagram one night, Rachel Joy Swardson stopped on a video of two women in long coats and sunglasses, belting Starship's "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us" into wooden spoons, with a caption that read: "When you realize every love song is actually about your friendship." It made her laugh. Then it made her cry. Then it left her with a wave of regret, envy, and longing she never saw coming. So she did what The Best Friend Project does best and she invited those two friends on the show to help her understand it. In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Rachel sits down with Melanie Curtis and Shannon Lee, best friends of more than 20 years whose bond is equal parts deep and ridiculous. Melanie is a keynote speaker, world-record skydiver, and peak-performance coach; Shannon is a spiritual ambassador and master plant-medicine facilitator. Together they trace their friendship all the way back to a "love at first sight" moment on a skydiving packing mat in 2005 — and the two decades of high-integrity follow-through that made it last. In This Episode:  A "love at first sight" friendship tells how Melanie and Shannon recognized each other instantly on a skydiving mat in 2005, and the 20 years of follow-through that proved it realMelanie on why being ridiculous together is actually an act of service and connectionNature taught Shannon that honesty is the default, and one of the greatest gifts we can give is to stop trying to change the people we loveBoundaries inside unconditional love and how to accept a flaky or difficult friend without abandoning your own limitsThe friendship "template”, or the sticky-note mantra that has guided Melanie and Shannon's bond for two decadesConnect with Melanie and Shannon: @melaniecurtis11 MelanieCurtis.com @luacheialuminosa  @greatspiritfarm About The Best Friend Podcast The Best Friend Podcast is where original friendship research meets real-life stories. Host Rachel Joy Swardson, founder of The Best Friend Project, investigates how women find, make, lose, and keep the platonic loves of their lives through original data, personal experience, and candid conversations. Learn more, take the survey, and share your friendship story at TheBestFriendProject.co. Chapters:  0:00 Love, Hilarity & Becoming Toxic: A Preview 1:00 Do Friendships Last Forever — or Grow Apart? 2:00 The Instagram Video That Made Me Hiccup Sob 3:00 When Every Love Song Is About Your Friendship 3:40 The Regret, Envy & Joy I Didn't See Coming 4:30 Meet Melanie Curtis & Shannon Lee 6:20 Love at First Sight — With a Friend 8:00 20 Years of High-Integrity Follow-Through 8:40 Love and Hilarity: The Two Most Important Things 10:00 What It Was About This Video That Felt Different 11:00 Divorce, the Recession & No Time to Be Silly 12:40 What It Means to Truly See a Friend 14:00 Untapped Potential & Refusing the Corporate Box 16:00 Recovering People Pleasers & the Power of Rebellion 19:00 What Nature Taught Shannon About Honesty 20:00 Loving People As They Are — Without Losing Boundaries 22:00 The Friendship "Template" on a Sticky Note 24:00 How I Got Unconditional Love Wrong 25:00 When Resentment Poisons the Well 26:00 Coming Up in Part 2 #TheBestFriendProject #WomensFriendships #FemaleFriendship #BestFriends #AdultFriendships #FriendshipGoals #UnconditionalLove #ToxicFriendship #PeoplePleaser #FriendshipAdvice #WomenSupportingWomen #Skydiving #PlantMedicine #PersonalGrowth #Boundaries #Vulnerability #IntentionalLiving #Friendship #FriendshipPodcast #podcast

  3. Jul 4 ·  Bonus

    Ep 6: ☎️ On the Phone | Noelle Rhodes (Well, almost...)

    Well, I completely botched the time change, so Noelle and I aren't actually on the phone today. 😅 But something happened this week that I couldn't wait to share. After my conversation with Noelle, I found myself putting one of her friendship lessons into practice with a new-ish friend, and it was scary. But good. I think? You decide! If you have had an experience like this following one of our episodes please leave us a voice mail by calling (844) 844-7893

  4. Jun 30

    Ep 5: The Funny Friend Gets Sad: A New Jersey Comic's Take on Adult Friendship | Noelle Rhodes

    Rachel Joy Swardson first discovered Noelle Rhodes through a hilarious social media post about why everyone needs a friend from New Jersey. The post made Rachel laugh. It also made her wonder, is it easier to make friends in some parts of the country than others? In this conversation, Rachel sits down with New Jersey comedian Noelle Rhodes to talk about friendship, loyalty, conflict, and the surprising ways geography shapes how we connect with one another. They also discuss a painful moment inside Noelle's friend group that could have ended very differently. Instead of reacting in the heat of the moment, Noelle stepped away, gave herself time to think, and returned with something unexpected: empathy.  It's a conversation about friendship rifts, second chances, becoming a comedian later in life, and what happens when the person everyone relies on for a laugh is the one having a hard day. Funny, thoughtful, and unexpectedly moving, this episode might just change the way you think about the roles we play within our friendship group. In This Episode: • Why Noelle believes everyone needs a friend from New Jersey• Friendship differences between the East Coast, West Coast, and Midwest• The friendship conflict that almost changed everything• How a walk around the block prevented a friendship blowup• The hidden challenge of being "the funny friend"• Starting a comedy career later in life• How personal growth can affect friendships• Why empathy is often more powerful than being right Connect with Noelle Rhodes: @noellerhodescomedy Coming Next Week: One jumps out of airplanes. The other is immersed in the world of natural healing. Rachel Joy Swardson talks with Melanie and Shannon about their unique friendship, relentless silliness, and shared credo that has kept them connected for more than 20 years. About The Best Friend Podcast The Best Friend Podcast is where original friendship research meets real-life stories. Host Rachel Joy Swardson, founder of The Best Friend Project, investigates how women find, make, lose, and keep the platonic loves of their lives through original data, personal experience, and candid conversations. Learn more, take the survey, and share your friendship story at TheBestFriendProject.co. Chapters:  0:00 Cold Open: Conflict Is a Friendship Sifter 0:40 Welcome to The Best Friend Project 1:25 Meet Noelle Rhodes, Clean Comedian 2:00 How They Connected & the Viral Jersey Reel 3:00 Jersey Honesty & the "You Need Bangs" Story 5:00 Friendship Sounds Different in Every Region 8:00 When Friends React to Your New Career 9:50 Hiding Behind Humor: "You're So Funny" 12:00 When the Funny Friend Breaks Down 13:00 The Long Walk & the Cast of Friends 17:00 The Funny Friend Can Be Hurt Too 21:00 Learning to "Self-Friend" 21:30 Northern Ireland & the Chocolate Party 24:00 Crying Under the Duvet: Loneliness Hits 25:00 Making Friends in Your 30s 27:00 Conflict as an Invitation to Go Deeper 29:00 Dialing It Back vs. Blowing It Up 30:30 Our Mothers' Friendships Looked Different 32:00 Time Is the Currency of Trust 34:30 No Shortcut: Friendship & Stand-Up 35:00 "I Don't Like People" & Other Green Flags 36:00 Where to Find & Book Noelle 38:00 Rachel's Reflection: The Funny Friend & Loneliness 41:00 Next Week: Melanie & Shannon #TheBestFriendProject #FemaleFriendship #Friendship #MakingFriendsAsAnAdult #AdultFriendship #Loneliness #FriendshipPodcast #WomenSupportingWomen #MidlifeFriendship #FriendshipAdvice #CleanComedy #NoelleRhodes #TheFunnyFriend #SelfFriendship #ConflictResolution #FriendshipBreakup #PodcastForWomen #WomenAndFriendship #Vulnerability #Connection #NewJersey #Comedian #PodcastClips #RealStories #FindMakeKeep

  5. Jun 27 ·  Bonus

    Ep 4: ☎️ On the Phone | Michelle Mackenzie

    Hi! Have you listened to Episode Two: The Hidden Impact of Childhood Poverty on Friendship with Michelle and Elle? When Michelle shared how growing up in poverty shaped her self-confidence as a child, I was speechless. I could have talked for another 30 minutes. On this phone call, I wanted to hear her reaction to the episode, but I also wanted to thank her for shining a light on the important, and often overlooked, impact poverty can have on a child's sense of security and self-perception. Her perspective is incredibly powerful, and I haven't stopped thinking about it. If you haven't listened to Episode Two yet, I hope you will. Michelle's honesty, resilience, and extraordinary friendship with Elle are inspiring. I've seen listeners comment that they wish they had a friendship like theirs. Here's the thing—I believe they can. Michelle and Elle remind us that friendships like this are possible, and they're worth investing in. Guest: Michelle Mackenzie (@TheLifeofaWidow) 🎙️ The Best Friend Podcast explores how women find, make, lose, and keep the platonic loves of their lives through original friendship research, honest conversations, and unforgettable stories. Take the survey and share your friendship story at TheBestFriendProject.co.

  6. Jun 27 ·  Bonus

    Ep 3: ☎️ On the Phone | Elle James

    Hi! Did you have a chance to listen to Episode One: I Thought We'd Grow Old Together with Elle and Michelle? If so, I invite you to eavesdrop on my phone call with Elle. I was so curious to hear what it was like for her to listen back to her own words and relive such a personal conversation. This was my very first podcast episode, and I am honestly a little nervous to hear what she thought of it. If you haven't listened to Episode One yet, I hope you will. Elle and Michelle's friendship, their individual stories, and the way they found each other left a lasting impression on me. I genuinely feel like I'm a better human for having had that conversation, and I hope you will, too. Guest: Elle James (@shamelesselle) 🎙️ The Best Friend Podcast explores how women find, make, lose, and keep the platonic loves of their lives through original friendship research, honest conversations, and unforgettable stories. Share your friendship story by taking the survey at TheBestFriendProject.co

  7. Jun 23

    Ep 2: (Part 2) The Hidden Impact of Childhood Poverty on Friendship | Michelle Mackenzie & Elle James

    When Shameless Elle lost the friendship she thought would last forever, she wasn't looking for new friends. But life had other plans. In Part 2 of this conversation, Rachel Joy Swardson welcomes Michelle (@TheLifeOfAWidow) to the podcast to talk about the friendship that formed when three women found themselves navigating grief, loss, loneliness, and some of the hardest seasons of their lives at the exact same time.  Michelle shares how growing up in poverty shaped the way she approached friendship, while Elle reflects on the surprising lessons she's learned from the women who stepped into her life after her best friend breakup. Together, they talk about accepting help, showing up imperfectly, and why some of the most meaningful friendships aren't built during the best years of our lives, they're built during the hardest.  This isn't a conversation about waiting until you have life figured out before making friends. It's a conversation about finding people willing to march through the hardships with you, because they're in it too. In This Episode: • How three women found each other during seasons of grief and loss  • The impact poverty can have on friendship and self-worth  • Why asking for help is harder than it looks  • What happens when women stop trying to earn love and simply receive it  • Friendship after widowhood, divorce, and heartbreak  • The small acts of kindness that change relationships forever  • Why nobody has to march through life's hardest moments alone Connect with Our Guests: Shameless Elle  Instagram, TikTok, YouTube & Facebook: @ShamelessElle https://shamelesselle.com Michelle  Instagram: @TheLifeOfAWidow About The Best Friend Podcast The Best Friend Podcast is where original friendship research meets real-life stories. Host Rachel Joy Swardson, founder of The Best Friend Project, investigates how women find, make, lose, and keep the platonic loves of their lives through original data, personal experience, and candid conversations. Chapters:  0:00 Opening — "Without Those Friendships, You'd Be Climbing the Walls" 1:00 Welcome to The Best Friend Project + Michelle Joins the Conversation 2:00 Michelle on Showing Up for Elle Through Grief 3:00 How Elle & Stephanie Show Up for Michelle Every Friday 5:00 The Power of Letting People In When You're Struggling 6:00 How Elle, Michelle & Stephanie's Friendship Was Born Out of Necessity 8:00 "Meet People Where They're At" — What Authentic Friendship Looks Like 9:00 Rachel Reflects on Survival Mode, Male Friends & Her First Real Female Friendship 11:00 Words of Advice for Anyone Struggling with Friendship 12:00 "Humble Yourself" — Elle's Honest Take on Growing Through Friendship 13:00 How to Be a Good Friend When You Have No Time or Capacity 14:00 "It's Not Do You Have Time for Me — It's How Can I Meet You Where You Are" 15:00 Michelle Opens Up: Poverty, Shame & Learning to Let People In 17:00 Overgiving to Be Loved — "If I Do This, Then You Will Love Me" 18:00 Elle Reflects on Michelle & Stephanie's Strength and Intelligence 19:00 Where to Follow Elle (Shameless Elle) & Michelle (Life of a Widow) 20:00 The Taylor Swift Origin Story Behind Michelle's Handle 21:00 Rachel's Closing Reflections — Seeing the Right People in Your Darkest Hour 22:00 Next Week: Noelle Rhodes on the Burden of Being the Funny Friend #TheBestFriendProject #FemaleFriendship #GriefAndFriendship #WomenSupportingWomen #FriendshipAdvice #MakingFriendsAsAnAdult #VulnerabilityAndConnection

  8. Jun 23

    Ep 1: (Part 1) I Thought We'd Grow Old Together | Elle James & Michelle Mackenzie

    Rachel Joy Swardson thought losing her best friend was rare. Then she met content creator Shameless Elle and discovered they shared a surprisingly similar story. For nearly a decade, Elle believed she'd already found her person, the friend she'd call in a crisis, celebrate life's wins with, and grow old beside.  Then one difficult decision changed everything, and the friendship ended. In this candid conversation, Rachel and Elle talk about friendship breakups, losing the woman you thought would always be there, and the unexpected loneliness that follows when your social world is built around one person. But they also talk about what comes next. Because sometimes the friendships that change your life aren't the ones you lose. They're the ones you didn't see standing beside you all along. In This Episode: • The friendship breakup that changed the course of Elle's life  • Why losing a best friend can feel as painful as a divorce  • The danger of making one person your entire social world  • How friendship loss can shake your confidence and identity  • The surprising people who were waiting in the wings all along  • What Rachel and Elle learned after losing the friendships they thought would last forever Connect with Shameless Elle: Instagram, TikTok, YouTube & Facebook: @ShamelessElle  https://shamelesselle.com Coming Up Next: Elles best friend Michelle @lifeofawidow joins the conversation in Part 2 to share how an unlikely friendship between three women became a lifeline during some of the hardest times of their lives. About The Best Friend Podcast The Best Friend Podcast is where original friendship research meets real-life stories. Host Rachel Joy Swardson, founder of The Best Friend Project, investigates how women find, make, lose, and keep the platonic loves of their lives through original research, personal experience, and candid conversations. Learn more, take the survey, and share your friendship story at TheBestFriendProject.co. Chapters:  0:00 Opening — "I thought we'd grow old together" 1:00 Welcome to The Best Friend Project 2:00 How Rachel Found Elle (and What She Saw in That Instagram Post) 3:00 Elle's Best Friend Breakup — Nine Years, Then Silence 5:00 The Moment That Ended Everything: A Crisis and a Phone Call 7:00 What It Feels Like to Lose Your "One Person" 9:00 How Elle Started Saying Yes to Friendship Again 11:00 Reflection: Was That Friendship Even Healthy? 13:00 Hiding Your Joy to Protect Your Friend's Feelings 15:00 Grieving a Friendship While Honoring the Good in It 16:00 How Elle Met Stephanie and Michelle 17:00 Three Women, Shared Grief, and a Friendship Born of Necessity 19:00 When Friendship Hits a Threshold — And You Have to Decide 21:00 Healthier Friendships Were There All Along 22:00 "I Thought I Only Needed One Friend" — On Codependency and Letting People In 24:00 The Story of Michelle's Car — What True Friendship Looks Like 27:00 How Michelle Teaches Elle to Be a Better Friend 28:00 Michelle Joins the Conversation — Stay Tuned for Part 2 #TheBestFriendProject #FriendshipBreakup #WomenAndFriendship #FemaleFriendship #BestFriendBreakup #MakingFriendsAsAnAdult #FriendshipHealing

  9. Trailer

    Why Are Some Women Better at Friendship Than Others? | The Best Friend Project Podcast

    What happens when a 12-year friendship ends? For former television journalist and private investigator Rachel Joy Swardson, it sparked an investigation; not into a crime, but into one of life's most powerful and overlooked relationships: female friendship.  The Best Friend Project is an independent deep dive into how women find, make, lose, and keep meaningful friendships. Through original research, real stories from women across the country, and candid podcast interviews, this show explores the full arc of women's friendships, from the joy of connection and belonging to the pain of friendship heartbreak and loneliness.  Whether you're grieving the loss of a best friend, trying to build new friendships as an adult, or simply wondering why female friendships are so complicated, this is the conversation you've been waiting for. Tune in for honest, research-backed insights and real friendship stories that remind us: every friendship has a story worth telling. Take the survey here: https://thebestfriendproject.co/ #TheBestFriendProject #BestFriendPodcast #FemaleFriendship #WomensFriendship #FriendshipPodcast

Trailer

5
out of 5
16 Ratings

About

When her best friendship ended, Rachel Joy Swardson went to the bathroom. Hundreds of them. She taped up postcards with a QR code in bathroom stalls, asking the question she was too hurt and humiliated to verbalize, "How do you do friendship?" Thousands of women answered, and their stories changed and healed her. So she brought them forward, here for you on The Best Friend Project podcast.

Information

  • Creator
    Rachel Joy Swardson
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    9
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Best Friend Project
  • Show Website
    The Best Friend Project

You Might Also Like