The Best Friend Project

Rachel Joy Swardson
  • 4.8 (21)
  • Relationships

When her best friendship ended, Rachel Joy Swardson went to the bathroom. Hundreds of them. She taped up postcards with a QR code in bathroom stalls, asking the question she was too hurt and humiliated to verbalize, "How do you do friendship?" Thousands of women answered, and their stories changed and healed her. So she brought them forward, here for you on The Best Friend Project podcast.

  1. 20h ago ·  Video

    Protect Your Peace? Please. What Your Surveys Really Say | The Best Friend Project

    Protect your peace. Cut off toxic friends. Match their energy. You’ve seen these all over Instagram. So have I. And they make my skin crawl. I’m not a Pollyanna about it. I’ve just read your surveys. Hundreds of them. And your answers tell a different story. This is a solo episode. Just me, a stack of printouts, and the data you’ve given me through The Best Friend Project. I walk through the three friendship memes that drive me up a wall. I read from your surveys, including a note from Lucy in New York that I have permission to read. I share a story about an extrovert, an introvert, and a party invite list that almost ended a friendship. And I ask you to guess a number. Most of you will guess low. I also push back on two of the biggest names in the friendship conversation right now (scary!)  Adam Grant’s new book Vibe, and Mel Robbins empahsis on on proximity.  Plus, we go behind the scenes! I share the reality of launching this project using postcards in bathroom stalls across the country. Find out which airport bathroom I’m convinced never gets cleaned, what doors convert higher and how I handle bathroom attendants. If you’ve been ghosted by a best friend, let a friendship fade, or wondered if you should reach out to someone you miss, press play. Books I mention: The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis (https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Four-Loves-Audiobook/B08ZNZW464?) The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/376130-the-four-agreements-a-practical-guide-to-personal-freedom) Vibe: The Secrets of Strong Connections in a Lonely World by Adam Grant (https://www.audible.com/pd/Vibe-Audiobook/B0GPKJWX93?) Stay Golden, Girls: Friendship Is the New Marriage by Rachel Steinman and Rachel Winter (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DJMVJYPB?) Fighting for Our Friendships by Danielle Bayard Jackson (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0306830612?) It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn (https://markwolynn.com/it-didnt-start-with-you/) Episodes I reference: Shameless Elle (https://youtu.be/O_czSELnWrw) Melanie Curtis (https://youtu.be/CYo1viN5k3w) Danielle Young (https://youtu.be/pDZpA4r6ER4) Barb Braaten (https://youtu.be/RDuLfG5ZFWg) Ali Lohman (https://youtu.be/dVLK5yV34uQ) Beth Pacunas (https://youtu.be/pn_mw4hvrz8) Take the survey: thebestfriendproject.co Want postcards for your town? DM me or email hello@thebestfriendproject.com Every friendship has a story. What’s yours? Chapters: 00:00 — Cold Open 01:36 — The Friendship That Ended With a Text Message 02:11 — Why I Started The Best Friend Project 07:46 — 7,000 Miles of Friendship Stories 12:59 — The Friendship Table That Changed How I See Friendship 17:32 — Three Friendship Myths on Social Media That Get Under My Skin 21:59 — Cutting Off “Toxic Friends” and the People We Still Miss 26:02 — “Match Their Energy”: The Friendship That Almost Ended 33:02 — Should We Really Be Ranking Our Friendships? 36:57 — Are Friendships Really About Proximity, Timing, and Energy? 44:33 — The Lessons That Could Change How You Show Up in Friendship 48:17 — The Best Friend Project Is Heading to TEDx! Support the show

    Protect Your Peace? Please. What Your Surveys Really Say | The Best Friend Project

  2. 3d ago ·  Video

    Bonus 18: On The Phone | Cami Talbot

    Rachel and Cami revisit a conversation about adult friendship, vulnerability, and the unexpected ways meaningful connections enter our lives. They talk about the courage it takes to approach someone new, why meeting in real life still matters, and how letting go of jealousy and comparison can help us appreciate the beauty in ourselves and others. Connect with Cami:  Website (https://www.camianntalbot.com/) Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/camianntalbot)  Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/cami.talbot/)  Learn more about The Best Friend Project: https://thebestfriendproject.co Discover your Friendship Archetype: Take the Friendship Survey: https://thebestfriendproject.co/signup Stay in touch: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebest_friendproject/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBestFriendProject Questions? Hello@TheBFProject.com Support the show

  3. Oct 20 ·  Video

    Ep 19: Losing Your Tribe, Finding Beauty & Making New Friends | Cami Ann Talbot

    Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult—aren’t we supposed to know who we are by now? When professional makeup artist Cami Talbot left the Mormon church at 14, she lost more than her religion—she lost her childhood tribe. Years later, an unexpected encounter with a stranger would challenge everything we assume about how adults make new friends. But this conversation starts somewhere even more personal—the face in the mirror. Your face. After 15 years working as a makeup artist, Cami has noticed that what women dislike about their appearance sometimes has very little to do with beauty, and more to do with the features—and stories—we inherit. If your mom was always critical of you and you have her same eyes, do you see yourself or her when you look in the mirror? If your father was distant but you have his nose, is it really your nose you don't like—or the absent feeling it reminds you of? Self-esteem, confidence and even the grace we give ourselves are deeply connected to how we think we look. And some of that may be tied to the relationships we had with our parents. How much of who we think we are actually belongs to us? This conversation explores what happens when we begin questioning the identities we inherited—from our parents, our religion and our past—and how changing the way we see ourselves can change the friendships we lose, the ones we keep, and the new ones we're brave enough to make. Connect with Cami:  Website (https://www.camianntalbot.com/) Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/camianntalbot)  Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/cami.talbot/)  Learn more about The Best Friend Project: https://thebestfriendproject.co Discover your Friendship Archetype: Take the Friendship Survey: https://thebestfriendproject.co/signup Stay in touch: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebest_friendproject/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBestFriendProject Questions? Hello@TheBFProject.com Chapters: 00:00 – Cold Open 01:20 – Why Even the Most Beautiful People Struggle to Feel Enough 07:29 – Why We Need to Be Our Own Best Friend First 11:22 – The People Who Miss Someone but Won’t Make the First Move 17:29 – What If Another Woman’s Beauty Didn’t Threaten Your Own? 23:08 – Leaving the Mormon Church at 14 and Finding Her Own Way 33:59 – The Note That Started a Nine-Year Friendship 41:30 – Are We Too Quick to Walk Away? 45:39 – The One Thing Women Need Most From Their Friendships 50:01 – What If We Started Going to Therapy With Our Friends? 50:18 – The One Conversation You Might Need to Have Before It’s Too Late Coming Next Week: Rachel goes solo for Episode 20 of The Best Friend Project, reflecting on what she’s learned and why social media relationship experts may be doing more harm than good. Support the show

    Ep 19: Losing Your Tribe, Finding Beauty & Making New Friends | Cami Ann Talbot

  4. Oct 17 ·  Bonus Video

    Bonus 18: On The Phone | Beth Pacunas

    Getting ghosted by a friend makes you the victim. Until you hear yourself tell the story out loud. After Beth’s episode aired, I called her back. I wanted to know what it was like to hear her friendship breakup played back. Her answer surprised both of us. We get into in this bonus content to explore why trying not to be a bother can push people away. Why receiving love can feel harder than giving it. And why two people who shared weddings, babies and decades never once called each other “best.” I also share the book that changed how I see my mom, and the patterns we inherit in who we let close. If you’ve lost a friend and still don’t know why, start here. Mentioned: It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn Take the Friendship Survey: thebestfriendproject.co Support the show

    Bonus 18: On The Phone | Beth Pacunas

  5. Oct 13 ·  Video

    Ep 18: My Best Friend Ghosted Me After 25 Years. Can We Ever Be Friends Again? | Beth Pacunas

    After 25 years of friendship, Beth never imagined her best friend might break up with her. “I thought she wasn’t calling back because she was sick.” For a year, Beth kept trying to reach her. When they finally spoke, the conversation ended their friendship. More than 20 years later, telling the story still moves Beth to tears. In this episode, Beth shares what she’s come to understand about that breakup, including the ways she may have hurt her friend without realizing it. She still loves her, but there’s hurt there too. Could they ever have a friendship again? And what would she need to hear before that could happen? What makes this conversation especially personal is that Beth is an old friend of mine. I could hardly believe my eyes when I reached her name at the end of her Best Friend Project survey. We hadn’t spoken in almost 15 years. Seeing her again gave me the chance to tell her how much she’s meant to me—and to thank her for holding my infant daughter at my father’s funeral. Learn more about The Best Friend Project: https://thebestfriendproject.co Discover your Friendship Archetype: Take the Friendship Survey: https://thebestfriendproject.co/signup Stay in touch: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebest_friendproject/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBestFriendProject Questions? Hello@TheBFProject.com Chapters: 00:00 – Cold Open  09:00 – The Friendship That Was Always There 15:40 – The People Who Showed Up After Rachel Lost Her Dad 21:22 – When a 25-Year Friendship Ends By Ghosting 26:08 – A Year of Calling, Waiting, and Wondering What Went Wrong 32:55 – Why Nobody Talks About Friendship Breakups 34:52 – Are We Too Quick to Label Friends as “Toxic”? 40:27 – “Will You Be My Friend?”  42:10 – How a Friendship Struggle Sparked a Bigger Mission 46:45 – What Beth Wishes Her Former Best Friend Could Hear 50:51 – Is It Closure She Wants, or Just Accountability? 51:48 – Why We Need to Create Our Own Rules for Friendship Coming Next Week: Rachel sits down with her newer friend, Cammy, whom I met at Comic-Con in Salt Lake City. She does makeup for some of the most successful women in the world, and you might be surprised to hear how much they struggle with friendship, too. Support the show

    Ep 18: My Best Friend Ghosted Me After 25 Years. Can We Ever Be Friends Again? | Beth Pacunas

  6. Oct 10 ·  Bonus Video

    Bonus 17: On The Phone | Laura Goodburn

    The story of Laura and Lisa is living proof that love doesn't die. Special thanks to Laura for sharing her story with us, and for the reminder to donate and apply to be a match.  Hear our sweet, quick catch up on this episode of On The Phone with Laura Goodburn.  Thank you as always for listening to The Best Friend Project podcast.  Support the show

    Bonus 17: On The Phone | Laura Goodburn

  7. Oct 6 ·  Video

    Ep 17: Grieving a Best Friend. How to Love Again After They're Gone | Laura Goodburn

    When your spouse dies, you're a widow. But when your best friend dies, there isn't even a word for it. Laura and Lisa met when they were three years old. They were best friends for over 30 years, until a fast and brutal fight with leukemia took Lisa's life. Laura hardly knew who she was without her. Years later, Laura's life began to unravel. Her marriage ended. She lost her job and her home. She questioned if life was even worth living. But love, from a new friendship, helped save her. And what she did with that love is the part I keep thinking about. Talking to Laura forced me to reflect on all the trivial, petty, dumb stuff that can come between friends. Who got left off the group text. Who said what. Does any of it really matter? At some point, we will all run out of time. This one life we've been given will end. Do we want to spend what's left of it replaying a comment, holding on to hurt, or staying guarded? If so, this episode just might change your heart and mind.  In this episode: 00:00 Cold Open01:03 Rod Stewart, Oprah, and motor oil04:20 The haircut she fought in a coma06:55 Friday date night in a hospital room11:38 "If love could save someone"12:50 When people claim a grief that isn't theirs16:42 Are work friends worth the risk?21:57 "I thought she was going to replace me"26:33 The girl who had no one to write down33:31 How you could save someone's best friendContent note: This episode includes discussion of terminal illness, death, and a moment of suicidal thinking. If you are struggling, call or text 988 in the US or Canada. Links: The Empty Chair Project: https://www.instagram.com/theemptychairproject.caCanadian Blood Services stem cell registry: https://www.blood.caHoneysuckle Coffee, Tillsonburg, Ontario https://www.instagram.com/honeysuckle.coffeeTake the survey: https://thebestfriendproject.co/friendship-survey/ Coming Next Week: Rachel sits down with Beth, a woman she knows personally, after being completely gripped by the story Beth shared in the Best Friend Project survey. What happens when a friendship has a few things left to talk about? Support the show

    Ep 17: Grieving a Best Friend. How to Love Again After They're Gone | Laura Goodburn

  8. Oct 3 ·  Bonus Video

    Bonus 16: On The Phone | Kimberly Pomeroy

    It's a funny thing when you know your own life story. Because it is your life, it's the only thing you know. So it doesn't seem unusual or possibly even interesting to you. But when you say it out loud on a podcast and other people hear it, well, it can make you see your whole world differently.  I hop on the phone with Kimberly to find out how she feels after a doozie of a trifecta episode starting with Brenda, then Kimberly's mom, and finally her story.  This is not exactly the call I thought we would be having. Support the show

    Bonus 16: On The Phone | Kimberly Pomeroy
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Trailer

4.8
out of 5
21 Ratings

About

When her best friendship ended, Rachel Joy Swardson went to the bathroom. Hundreds of them. She taped up postcards with a QR code in bathroom stalls, asking the question she was too hurt and humiliated to verbalize, "How do you do friendship?" Thousands of women answered, and their stories changed and healed her. So she brought them forward, here for you on The Best Friend Project podcast.

Information

  • Creator
    Rachel Joy Swardson
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    39
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Best Friend Project
  • Show Website
    The Best Friend Project

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