Content note: This episode discusses sexual offences against minors and predatory behaviour. Please listen with care. I started the Dear Devlin Blog because if one of us is struggling with something, chances are others are too. That’s why it’s completely anonymous, and why no topic is off the table. On the podcast version, I invite someone from the industry to talk each submission through with me, so you get more than just my opinion. This week’s was the hardest one I’ve written about. I rewrote the blog post several times, trying to get the nuance right, as well as be respectful to whoever sent it in. This Week’s Problem Dear Devlin, I think there is some deep rooted misogyny happening in the wedding industry & I want to highlight it. Earlier this week, a male photographer posted his ‘wedding photography icks’ which I would argue mostly consist of things that female photographers do. The comments were a lot of male photographers agreeing, including a comment saying ‘Female photographers would genuinely have nothing to post if all these got banned’ – although now deleted, the original poster liked this comment and replied ‘OOOP’ with a sticker. Why are women being attacked for how they are handling their businesses in a harmless way, when male photographers have done much worse. Why didn’t they include ‘going to prison for extremely inappropriate behaviour towards a child’ on the list? I saw a TikTok from a female photographer that stuck with me. She went on a podcast to talk about how she had over 400 enquiries in 4 months, the same podcast also spoke to a male photographer who claimed to have over 200 weddings booked. Can you guess who was accused of lying and making up numbers by a bunch of men? Hint – it wasn’t the man. I also believe this point is further evidenced by how much scrutiny content creators have come under by, you guessed it, primarily male photographers and videographers. It does make you question whether the same animosity would be present if it was a male dominated job. With all these info-gram posts being made on social media, when will we see some acknowledgment to how much harder it is to be a woman in this industry? Not A Radical Feminist I invited Esmé Whiteside back to talk it through, and once you’ve listened you’ll understand why. Esmé is a wedding photographer based in Manchester, a past Thrive speaker, and she runs her own workshops alongside a very successful photography business. We started where the submission started, with the social media posts listing wedding photography “icks”. Esmé’s view was that the post that probably prompted this wasn’t misogynistic. It looked more like tongue in cheek marketing, and the comment underneath it was the offensive part. We both agreed on something else, though. Marketing that relies on putting other photographers down never sits well with me. You’re not better than anyone else, you’re just different, and you’re mostly talking to your peers rather than your clients anyway. Our practical advice for anyone starting out, especially anyone assisting as a second photographer, is to trust your instincts. Nobody should ever be expected to share a bed or a room with a photographer they’re not comfortable with. If something feels like overstepping, it probably is. Talk to other women. Just because you’re at work doesn’t mean you’re safe. We also talked about how much the atmosphere at an industry event is set by its organisers, and how it feels to be invited to speak and end up feeling like a box being ticked. I pushed back on one point in the submission. Is it harder to be a woman in this industry? In some ways I think it’s easier to win clients, because couples often feel safer inviting a woman into the more intimate parts of the day, and people really do search for female photographers. Esmé’s take was that recognition tells a different story. The big names in our industry still skew male, and women aren’t always ready to celebrate other women either. We also talked about the TikTok enquiry numbers in the submission, and why nobody tries to bring you down unless they feel you’re above them. I’ll be upfront that this one doesn’t end with a high five. There are so many issues hanging in the air, and we couldn’t resolve them in an hour. What we kept coming back to is looking after the people around you, and making sure they know where the safe faces and safe groups are. If anything in this episode resonated with you, my DMs are always open, and the Photography Farm Facebook group is a supportive space. Got a submission of your own? It’s completely anonymous, and it might be the one we cover next. Submit your Dear Devlin question → This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit photographyfarm.substack.com
