Grief is a Language ™ with John Onwuchekwa

John Onwuchekwa
  • 5.0 (11)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Grief Is A Language™ is a podcast about grief, loss, love, loneliness, healing, and what it means to be human. Hosted by John Onwuchekwa, each episode weaves together powerful stories, conversations, and insights from psychologists, neuroscientists, artists, authors, comedians, and everyday people navigating loss. Together, they explore grief in all its forms—from the death of a loved one to divorce, friendship, identity, illness, and the life we imagined but never got to live. Because grief isn't a journey to finish. It's a language we learn.

  1. 3d ago

    Why We Police Our Own Emotions While Grieving

    Grief and joy are often treated like opposite emotions, but what if they can exist at the same time? John Onwuchekwa and Jessica Hurley unpack the “shoulds” we place on grief, why we police our own emotions, and what it means to let grief and joy intersect. RESOURCES: Jessica Hurley  IG | @jessicahurley__ John Onwuchekwa  Website | johno.co  IG | @jawn_o Grief is a Language™ is produced by EPYC Media Network

  2. 5d ago

    8: Anticipatory Grief: Learning to Live While You’re Waiting for Loss with Jessica Hurley

    In this deeply reflective episode of Grief Is A Language™, John Onwuchekwa is joined by EPYC Media Network’s founder and producer Jessica Hurley for a conversation about anticipatory grief, ambiguous loss, joy, purpose, patience, and the loneliness that often accompanies them all. Jessica shares what it was like watching her newborn fight for his life in the NICU, caring for her father through stage four cancer, navigating divorce, and wrestling with the guilt of experiencing joy while carrying grief. Together, she and John explore why grief and joy aren't opposites, why purpose can't be rushed, how patience changes the meaning of suffering, and why people don't need silver linings nearly as much as they need someone willing to stay with them. They also unpack why healing isn't a destination, why hope creates the patience we need to endure, and how learning the language of grief can transform the way we experience every form of loss. KEY POINTS 00:00 - Introduction  02:36 – Grief and joy can exist at the same time. 04:14 – Why grief makes us afraid to experience joy. 08:43 – Grief and joy aren't opposites; they intersect. 15:16 – Stop trying to assign purpose too soon. 17:18 – Patience is the missing ingredient in grief. 28:01 – Healing isn't something you finish. 38:52 – People don't need silver linings; they need presence. 50:51 – Stories create hope because our stories aren't over. 56:19 – Purpose grows like a plant, not a building. 01:15:08 – Leave space for the "almost" in your story. QUOTES  "The only person that's shaming me is me." – Jessica Hurley "People don't need silver linings. People don't need the lights on. People need something to address the deeper problem, and it is the loneliness that they feel." – John Onwuchekwa "The wealth of my experience has been the hardest grieving moments." – Jessica Hurley "The healthiest people that I know tend to use “heal” in the present tense. I am healing and I am healthy. I am not healed." – John Onwuchekwa   RESOURCES: Jessica Hurley  IG | @jessicahurley__ John Onwuchekwa  Website | johno.co  IG | @jawn_o Grief is a Language™ is produced by EPYC Media Network

  3. Sep 10

    She Hid Her Pregnancy for 20 Years. Here’s What Shame Did to Her Identity | Dr. Zoe Shaw

    Psychotherapist Dr. Zoe Shaw shares how becoming pregnant at 15, being sent away to a pregnancy home, and hiding the adoption of her first daughter shaped decades of complex shame. She explains why achievement became a way to outrun her past, why shame eventually caught up with her, and what it took to begin separating shame from her identity. GUEST RESOURCES:  Dr. Zoe Shaw Website| drzoeshaw.com IG | @drzoeshaw RESOURCES: John Onwuchekwa  Website | johno.co  IG | @jawn_o Grief Is A Language is produced by EPYC Media Network

  4. Sep 7

    7: Complex Shame™: How Unprocessed Grief and Guilt Shape Your Identity with Dr. Zoe Shaw

    Grief is like a shadow that follows you, waiting to meet you when you think you've outrun it. In this pilot episode of Grief is a language, host John Onwuchekwa welcomes Dr. Zoe Shaw to unveil the complex landscape of grief, offering a transformative perspective on emotional healing.  Dr. Zoe highlights complex shame as a deeply personal experience that goes beyond traditional understanding, revealing how trauma and unresolved guilt intertwine with identity. Grief is described as a non-linear journey that cannot be outrun—but must be embraced with vulnerability and self-compassion. Together, Dr. Zoe and John explore how individuals can recognize and process their deepest feelings. They delve into personal stories of hidden pain, demonstrating how speaking one's truth can be a powerful act of liberation. Let’s start navigating the hard truths and use these stories to enlighten us, instead of defining us. Tune in. KEY POINTS 00:00 – The difference between simple shame and complex shame 01:18 – How grief transforms our understanding of self 05:43 – The connection between complex shame, validation, codependency, and emotional connection 07:49 – The story behind Dr. Zoe’s work on shame and grief 10:00 – When grief becomes tied to identity 12:03 – Dr. Zoe’s personal story of shame and carrying a secret for decades 17:52 – Book discussion: You Are Your Best Thing and understanding complex shame 20:31 – How grief can create courage and the beginning of freedom 31:40 – Naming feelings and using language to separate yourself from your emotions 36:41 – Self-compassion, acknowledging feelings, and navigating emotional vulnerability 43:17 – Shame around anger, relief, joy, and societal expectations in grief 48:00 – Navigating grief through relationship dynamics and attachment styles 51:03 – How grief impacts intimate relationships and shared priorities 54:37 – Finding healing, freedom, and learning not to run from grief 56:46 – Moving from hiding to freedom through acknowledgment and expression QUOTES  “Grief is not something that ends. I think we can have a healthy relationship with grief.” – Dr. Zoe Shaw “When we hide, it feels good in the moment, but it will come back to get us.” – Dr. Zoe Shaw “Don't run. It's okay to sit and grief feels like it's this thing, this deep, dark pit that you're going to fall into that will never end.” – Dr. Zoe Shaw “Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past.” – Dr. Zoe Shaw “We talk to ourselves more than we talk to anybody else, and we talk to ourselves more than anybody talks to us.” – Dr. Zoe Shaw GUEST RESOURCES:  Dr. Zoe Shaw Website| drzoeshaw.com IG | @drzoeshaw RESOURCES: John Onwuchekwa  Website | johno.co  IG | @jawn_o Grief Is A Language is produced by EPYC Media Network

  5. Sep 3

    Why This Hospital Chaplain Stopped Trying to Fix People’s Grief

    Hospital chaplain Joon Park explains how to support someone who is grieving without trying to fix their pain. He and John explore why grief has no timeline, how well-intentioned advice can add another burden, and why quiet presence may be what a grieving person needs most. GUEST RESOURCES:  J.S. Park Website | jsparkblog.com IG | @jspark3000  RESOURCES: John Onwuchekwa  Website | johno.co  IG | @jawn_o Grief Is A Language is produced by EPYC Media Network

  6. Aug 31

    6: What Witnessing 1,000 Deaths Taught Hospital Chaplain Joon Park About Grief, Faith and Loneliness

    Some people catch dreams, but others catch grief — holding space for pain, honoring loss, and ensuring no one suffers alone. Today, host John welcomes Joon Park, a hospital chaplain who has witnessed over 1,000 deaths, for an insightful conversation about being a “grief catcher.” As the author of the book "Take As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve", Joon shares his unique approach of providing presence and space for those experiencing profound loss, emphasizing that grief is not something to be fixed but to be witnessed. He explores the complex emotional landscape of supporting individuals through their most challenging moments, revealing how chaplains create safe spaces for authentic grieving.  Their conversation also delves into the importance of storytelling, the power of human connection, and how simply being present can be more healing than offering solutions. Joon challenges traditional notions of grief support — giving emphasis on the need to make room for all emotional responses, whether that means singing, crying, or expressing anger.  Don't miss this powerful episode about compassion, vulnerability, and the sacred work of accompanying people through their darkest times. Discover how Grief Is A Language through the profound art of being a grief catcher and how we can all learn to support each other more meaningfully during loss. KEY POINTS 00:00 – Joon Park’s work as a hospital chaplain and “grief catcher.” 05:29 – How Joon still finds laughter after witnessing over 1,000 deaths. 08:53 – Why grief needs presence instead of fixing. 13:06 – Walking beside someone through the darkness. 14:52 – How grief clichés can add another burden. 21:07 – Creating space for every expression of grief. 23:34 – Helping someone without trying to solve their pain. 31:29 – Why chaplains must release the need for answers. 37:29 – Making room for anger, rage and unexpected grief responses. 53:18 – Carrying the grief home and becoming a safe person. QUOTES  “Grief catching is also when the expressions of grief, the pain, the sorrow, the gravity of the loss, are so much that I'm vicariously absorbing all the pain that they're experiencing.” – Joon Park “When we sit with somebody who's grieving, when we see someone's loss, it always reflects back to ourselves mortality and loss, that the abyss is really coming for us all.” – Joon Park “The unbearable can be made slightly more bearable if you have someone to bear with you.” – Joon Park "Every diagnosis has a name... except for loneliness." – Joon Park “Through the gears of this machine that doesn't stop, we can find each other. We can reach through those gears, and we can stretch out our hands for one another.” – Joon Park GUEST RESOURCES:  J.S. Park Website | jsparkblog.com IG | @jspark3000  RESOURCES: John Onwuchekwa  Website | johno.co  IG | @jawn_o Grief Is A Language is produced by EPYC Media Network

  7. Aug 27

    Why Grieving People Want You to Ask About the Person They Lost

    What happens when the smallest detail suddenly reminds you that someone is gone? In this segment of Grief Is A Language™, Natalie and John explore the sharpness of absence, the loneliness of remembering alone, and why grieving people often want us to ask about the people they’ve lost. From tall grass to old toothpick cases, they reveal how ordinary objects can preserve connection, memory, and love. RESOURCES: Natalie Lauren Sims IG | @natalielaurensims John Onwuchekwa  Website | johno.co  IG | @jawn_o Grief is a Language™  is produced by EPYC Media Network

  8. Aug 24

    5: Compounded Grief: Coping With Multiple Losses and the Numbness of Grief with Natalie Lauren Sims

    On today’s episode, John Onwuchekwa sits down with Natalie Lauren Sims to explore what grief actually feels like when loss comes in waves. From losing multiple family members in a short span of time to navigating numbness, rage, memory loss, faith, and radical acceptance, this conversation offers a powerful framework for understanding grief beyond clichés and stages. John shares his four-part model of grief as body language, oral language, written language, and sign language, while Nat opens up about surviving compounded loss, caring for a dying father, losing a beloved godmother to violence, and discovering that curiosity became his path forward. Listen in as this episode is for anyone who has ever felt stuck, numb, angry, confused, or alone in their grief. More than anything, it is a reminder that grief is something you learn to speak. KEY POINTS - The goal of grief isn’t closure; it’s connection. - Your body often recognizes grief before your mind does. - Stories help us process loss because grief is ultimately about love, not just absence. - Writing slows memory down long enough for us to make meaning from pain. - Compounded loss can leave you feeling disconnected from your own life for years. - Curiosity can be more powerful than answers when you're stuck in grief. - Some grief settles into peace, while other grief remains too hot to touch. - Radical acceptance is releasing the need to explain suffering. QUOTES  "Grief ain't a journey. Journey is a bad metaphor. Grief is a language. Goal of a language, not to finish, to become fluent." – John Onwuchekwa "Curiosity has been the superpower." – Natalie Lauren Sims "Her absence isn't the thing that causes the most suffering. It's the meaning making that I'm after." – Natalie Lauren Sims "I would wake up and I would realize that waking up was the nightmare." – Natalie Lauren Sims "Every celebration now has an asterisk next to it." – John Onwuchekwa RESOURCES: Natalie Lauren Sims IG | @natalielaurensims John Onwuchekwa  Website | johno.co  IG | @jawn_o Grief Is A Language is produced by EPYC Media Network

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5
out of 5
11 Ratings

About

Grief Is A Language™ is a podcast about grief, loss, love, loneliness, healing, and what it means to be human. Hosted by John Onwuchekwa, each episode weaves together powerful stories, conversations, and insights from psychologists, neuroscientists, artists, authors, comedians, and everyday people navigating loss. Together, they explore grief in all its forms—from the death of a loved one to divorce, friendship, identity, illness, and the life we imagined but never got to live. Because grief isn't a journey to finish. It's a language we learn.

Information

  • Creator
    John Onwuchekwa
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    18
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026