Episode summary: Why are women still told to watch their tone at work? Companies say they want strong female leaders. Yet women are still more likely to receive workplace feedback about their personality, communication style and likeability. The problem is easy to dismiss as a question of behaviour. Sometimes people are rude, aggressive or difficult at work and managers should address it. The more interesting question is why research consistently finds women receiving different kinds of feedback from men, including more criticism focused on personality rather than specific skills or outcomes. In this episode of Track Changes On, Caroline Warnes looks at the unwritten behavioural rules women learn to navigate at work, from being told to watch their tone or appear more approachable to expectations around smiling, appearance and being pleasant. Drawing on her own experience of learning to mask and manage criticism long before entering corporate life, she explores what happens when women start anticipating these expectations and policing themselves. She also looks at the research on gendered performance feedback, the competence-likeability double bind and emotional labour, and asks whether this additional behavioural workload may be one part of a much bigger story about why women find corporate work exhausting. In this episode - Why women receive more personality-based feedback at work- The difference between legitimate behavioural feedback and vague criticism about “tone”- Why assertive women can face a likeability penalty- How women learn to manage smiling, warmth and approachability at work- The additional emotional demands women can experience in corporate environments- What burnout and unpaid-work data can and cannot tell us about women’s exhaustion Research referenced in this episode Kieran Snyder, The Abrasiveness Trap: High-Achieving Men and Women Are Described Differently in Reviews (2014). Analysis of 248 performance reviews from 28 technology companies. The study found personality criticism in 71 of 94 critical reviews received by women compared with two of 83 received by men. Textio, Language Bias in Performance Feedback (2024). Analysis of more than 23,000 performance reviews across more than 250 organisations found women received 22% more personality-based feedback than men. Note: this is large-scale workplace research rather than a peer-reviewed academic study. Jampol, Rattan & Wolf, A Bias Toward Kindness Goals in Performance Feedback to Women (2023), Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. Across experimental studies and field data, researchers found feedback givers placed greater emphasis on kindness when giving critical feedback to women, associated with stereotypes about women's warmth. LaFrance, Hecht & Paluck, The Contingent Smile: A Meta-Analysis of Sex Differences in Smiling (2003), Psychological Bulletin. A meta-analysis covering 143 reports and more than 59,000 participants found women smiled more than men on average, with the difference varying substantially according to social context. Purvanova & Muros, Gender Differences in Burnout: A Meta-Analysis (2010), Journal of Vocational Behavior. Across 183 studies, women showed slightly higher emotional exhaustion while men showed higher depersonalisation. The average gender difference in emotional exhaustion was small. Gallup, workplace burnout data (2025). Among full-time US workers surveyed in Q4 2025, 31% of women compared with 23% of men reported feeling burned out very often or always. Across 2022–2025, the reported rate among women leaders averaged 29% compared with 19% among men leaders. Australian Bureau of Statistics, How Australians Use Their Time (2024). Among Australians performing unpaid work, women averaged 4 hours 53 minutes per day compared with 3 hours 52 minutes for men. Mothers of children under 15 also spent more time caring for children than fathers. Ybema et al., systematic review of gender differences in exposure to psychosocial work factors (2023). While gender differences were inconsistent across many workplace stressors, all seven included studies examining emotional demands reported higher exposure among women. Companion article This episode is accompanied by a full article on Track Changes On, where the ideas, research and practical reflections are explored in greater depth. Supporting the show If you enjoy Caroline's work and would like to support it, here are a few things she's created 🛒 Track Changes On Shop - Coffee mugs for corporate rebels 📖 Do Give Up Your Day Job - Guide to corporate exits and transitions to self-employment Subscribe Subscribe to Track Changes On for weekly conversations about the future of corporate work, AI, careers and organisational change. Connect with Caroline 📸 Instagram | 🧵 Threads | 🔗 LinkedIn Get full access to Track Changes On at www.trackchangeson.com/subscribe