Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Mike and Alicia Hernon : Catholic Marriage Parent and Family
  • 4.9 (827)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

Parenting is not a clean-cut, simple process for those who like to follow the rules. Family life is messy and unpredictable, but it is the greatest adventure you will ever have. We are Mike and Alicia Hernon, parents of 10 children with a growing number of grandchildren, and we would like to invite you into some of the conversations we have had with each other about marriage, parenting, and Catholic family life. Our hope is that our conversation sparks a dialogue between you and your spouse that leads to greater unity and intentional Christian parenting in your home. Listen in to our podcast and start the conversation as we seek to lead our families to heaven. Visit us at https:///www/MessyFamilyProject.org for resources, guides, links and show notes.

  1. 2d ago

    MFP 384: Paul McCusker and the Power of Story

    "Kids are always processing what happens around them. Stories give them a way to do that." - Paul McCusker   Summary Today on the podcast we welcome Paul McCusker, an award-winning writer whose stories have shaped the imaginations of families for decades. Many know Paul from Adventures in Odyssey, where he wrote and produced some of the series' most loved episodes. We talk about his newest project, Welcome to Hope Springs, and how great stories combine truth, beauty, and engagement. Paul shares why we should never talk down to kids, especially ages ten to twelve, when their imagination is wide open and they are learning how to see the world. Stories help children live through characters, process hard realities, and even prepare for moments they have not faced yet. This conversation is about why stories matter for kids and families today. Key Takeaways Great stories combine truth, beauty, and engagement. Stories that last are not just entertaining. They communicate deeper truths in a compelling way. We should never talk down to children. Kids, especially ages 10–12, can understand much more than adults often assume. Children at this age are learning how to see and interpret the world around them. Stories help children process real-life events. Kids are always processing what happens around them, even when they do not yet know how. Stories allow children to live vicariously and see how others face challenges and grow. Stories prepare us for future moments. The wisdom in good stories plants seeds that shape future choices and actions. Talking about stories with parents deepens their impact. Conversations help kids understand lessons, character growth, and how to respond in real-life situations.   Couple Discussion Questions What stories do you remember from your childhood?  Maybe it was something you read or something you heard or a movie you watched.  Can you think of a story that helped you see a situation or choice differently in your own life? What was it and why did it stick with you?   Resources https://www.augustineinstitute.org/hopesprings

    1h 1m

  2. May 25

    MFP 383: How Play Time Shapes Prayer Time

    For more information about the Play + Pray Challenge visit our website: https://messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ If you want to pray with your kids, you need to play with them Summary If you want your kids to pray with you, it starts long before bedtime prayers. It starts with how you play. In this episode, we explore the surprising connection between play and prayer, and why the time that can feel the most "unproductive" is actually doing the deepest work. We talk about how play builds trust, teaches emotional strength, and shapes how your children will relate to God. You'll also hear why dads matter so much in play, how play changes as kids grow, and what gets in the way for most families. This is a practical, honest look at how simple moments of connection can shape your child's faith for years to come. Key Takeaways Play builds the relationship that prayer depends on If your kids don't feel connected to you, they won't naturally open up to God. Play creates that trust. Play teaches what prayer requires Through play, kids learn trust, safety, joy, and connection. Those are the same muscles they use in prayer. What looks unproductive is actually foundational Play can feel like wasted time, but it's doing deep work. The same is true for prayer. If you don't choose play, something else will take its place Connection doesn't happen by accident. It requires time, attention, and intention. Couple Discussion Questions Where are we naturally connecting with our kids right now—and where are we missing them? What gets in the way of us being playful and present? What is one simple way we could be more intentional about play this week?

    53 min

  3. May 18

    MFP 382: The Shape of a Growing Family

    "Some call it chaos, we call it family." Summary In this listener-driven episode we will tackle the real-life tension of raising a big family through changing seasons. What happens when your college kids come home expecting independence, but your house still runs on structure? How do you manage media, respect, and responsibility without turning every conversation into a power struggle? We also dig into the quieter challenges: surviving pregnancy while caring for little ones, creating meaningful one-on-one time in a full house, and keeping family dinners from unraveling into chaos. Along the way, we address a heavier worry many parents carry—can you build a large, healthy family without burning out or placing too much on older kids? Listen in for some honest, practical guidance grounded in real experience. For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/

    1h 6m

  4. May 11

    MFP 381: The Secret to Raising Kids Who Love the Sacraments

    "First Communion is about far more than a single day—it's about nurturing a lifelong relationship with Jesus." - Katie McGrady   Summary Preparing your child for First Communion or Reconciliation can feel overwhelming—but what if it's actually an invitation for your own faith to grow? In this episode, we sit down with authors and speakers Tommy and Katie McGrady to talk about why parents are the most important influence in their children's spiritual lives. They share why sacramental preparation isn't just about checking a box—it's about helping children encounter Jesus in a personal way. We discuss simple ways parents can start today: talking openly about faith, recognizing Jesus in everyday moments, and even being honest when you don't have all the answers. The beautiful surprise? When parents walk with their children toward the sacraments, they often rediscover their own faith along the way.  This episode will encourage you, equip you, and remind you—you don't have to be perfect to lead your children to Christ. Key Takeaways Children who have a personal faith by middle school are much more likely to keep the faith than those who see mass simply as an obligation.  Parents must have conversations with their kids about why the faith is important to them personally.  Develop small tangible ways of recognizing Jesus' presence such as the sign of the cross when passing a church.  It's ok to say to your children, "I don't know, let's figure it out"  Vulnerability with your children about your own faith journey is key.  Preparing a child for the sacraments helps parents also to see them in a new way and appreciate the gift that they are.   Couple Discussion Questions What do you remember about your sacrament prep?  What do you wish had been done differently?   How do you pray after communion?  How can we encourage our children to pray?

    51 min

  5. May 4

    MFP 380: The Hidden Power of Family Culture and How to Shape It

    Family culture is more than a mission statement, it's a way of life that communicates powerfully.    Summary What are you really cultivating in your home? In this episode, we explore the deeper meaning of family culture through the lens of cultus—to till, tend, and worship. Your home is a garden, and the way you live together is already forming a culture, whether intentional or not! We unpack how culture is shaped by what you value—and how those values must be visible in both what you do and how you act. It's not big talks but consistent, daily habits that form your family. Children learn most from what you model, especially in your relationships. Through open communication, shared routines, and a clear family vision, you can build a culture that forms your children to love, serve, and live with purpose. Listen in!    Key Takeaways 1. Family culture needs to be intentional 2. Values need to be visible and practiced 3. Consistency matters more than intensity 4. Parents model more than they teach 5. Communication is the backbone 6. Shared vision strengthens culture   Couple Discussion Questions * What do we actually reward in this family? * What behaviors do we tolerate that contradict our values? * What do our kids see us do when things go wrong?   Resources Family culture guide Mini-course on shop https://messyfamilyproject.org/product/family-culture-mini-course/

    1 hr

  6. Apr 27

    MFP 379: Lord, Save Me from the Complaining Child!

    Your child is not a problem to be solved, but a person to be known.   Summary If you've ever thought, "How can one small human make this much noise… about EVERYTHING?"—this episode is for you.  We're diving into the all-too-familiar world of complaining kids—the sighs, the groans, the "Do I have to?"—and how it can slowly drain the joy right out of your home. But instead of just surviving it (or losing your sanity), in this episode we will look at understanding WHY kids complain and give you some practical tools to respond in charity.  With humor, honesty, and a little help from the Israelites in the desert (yes, really), we'll explore what's really going on beneath the complaints—and how God might be inviting us to grow, too.  Because your child isn't a problem to fix—they're a person to love.  Come laugh, be encouraged, and get a fresh perspective.   Key Takeaways All complaining is like sin - it is ordered towards something good but taking the wrong path Remember the phrase "I won't allow your bad mood to ruin my day" Make sure you take the time to fill your kids up with your love and delight.  They are not a problem to be solved, they are a person to be known No matter why kids are complaining, you need to teach them the right way to respond and dialogue with you.  Give opportunities to model and practice an attitude of gratitude with your family.    Couple Discussion Questions What is our plan when our children start to complain?  What in our hearts is triggered by complaining children?    Resources https://ifstudies.org/blog/hard-parenting-better-relationships-new-evidence https://ifstudies.org/blog/yes-virginia-you-do-have-to-hug-grandma-this-christmas

    1h 4m

  7. Apr 20

    MFP 378: Training Children to Master Themselves

    There is a need for a crusade of manliness and purity to counteract and nullify the savage work of those who think man is a beast. And that crusade is your work. ~St. Josemaría Escrivá   Summary How do you talk to your kids about purity without turning it into a list of rules and constant "no's"?  Join us for this conversation with Fr. Carter Griffin about the importance of purity and self-mastery.  This episode invites parents to shift the focus to what purity says yes to: love, freedom, and a future built on integrity. We discuss why teens demand authenticity and how sharing your own striving for goodness, with discernment, builds trust instead of hypocrisy. You'll learn how to react when your child falls and create a space for them to speak honestly without fear of shock or shame, especially when mistakes happen.  With clarity and compassion, Fr. Griffin challenges parents to invite their children into something greater than themselves, grounded in mercy at every step. The fight for purity is intense, but it is far from hopeless. Key Takeaways Teach your children what they are saying YES to, not just what they need to say NO to.  Purity is more than a list of rules, it is saying YES to your future spouse.  Teens especially demand authenticity and can tell if you are being hypocritical.  With appropriate discernment, talk about your own striving for goodness and the boundaries you have set for yourself in these areas.  Develop a "confessor's face".  Be prepared to not show emotion or shock when your child admits to you an area of sin or when you find out about it.  Parents need to be very aware of the trap of shame for a child caught in sexual sin.  Call you children to a higher standard, but always start with mercy.  Invite your children little by little into ownership of their own formation and practice of virtue.     Couple Discussion Questions How can we model appropriate marital love and affection for our children?   When and where will we start this conversation with our children about the dangers of porn and the traps that are found in our culture?  How will we continue this conversation?  How can we give our children opportunities to practice self-mastery, not just blind obedience to rules?    Resources Reclaimed  https://scepterpublishers.org/products/reclaimed-win-the-war-of-freedom-self-mastery-and-holy-purity Why Celibacy https://stpaulcenter.com/store/why-celibacy-reclaiming-the-fatherhood-of-the-priest Last podcast with Fr. Griffin https://messyfamilyproject.org/mfp-316-a-manual-for-catholic-families/

    1h 5m

  8. Apr 13

    MFP 377: When Kids Take Control: What To Do and How to Stop It

    When I stopped trying to fix or change my child, and explored my own role in fostering bullying behaviors, I found the answers I needed. These behaviors were a direct consequence of my own insecurities. - Sean Grover, Ph.D. Summary Parents often make excuses for their children's outrageous behavior, whether it's a preschooler's tantrum or a teen's sullen refusal to do what he or she has been asked. Children who become unmanageable or verbally abusive to their parents are, in fact, bullies, although most parents don't think of these behaviors in that way. Maybe they should. Key Takeaways Kids aren't the problem—unchecked patterns are.  When disrespect or control shows up in a child, it often points back to gaps in parental boundaries, consistency, or self-awareness. Testing limits is normal. Running the house is not.  Kids are supposed to push boundaries, but they also need parents who confidently hold them. That's what makes them feel secure. Your parenting is shaped by your past.  How you were raised affects how you handle conflict, discipline, and respect. If you don't examine it, you'll repeat it. Inconsistency creates escalation.  When parents give in, avoid, or explode, kids learn to push harder. Over time, this can turn into manipulative or aggressive behavior. Healthy authority starts with self-control.  Calm, consistent, self-aware parenting is more powerful than strict rules or harsh discipline. Kids follow who you are, not just what you say. Couple Discussion Questions Where do we struggle most with consistency or follow-through as parents? (Be specific about situations where you tend to give in, avoid, or overreact.) How did the way we were raised shape how we respond to our kids today? (Think about conflict, discipline, and handling disrespect.) Are we aligned in how we set and enforce boundaries? If not, where are we off?  (And what's one practical change we can agree to make this week?)   Resources https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/singletons/201509/the-3-types-of-parents-who-get-bullied-by-their-own-children

    1h 4m
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Parenting is not a clean-cut, simple process for those who like to follow the rules. Family life is messy and unpredictable, but it is the greatest adventure you will ever have. We are Mike and Alicia Hernon, parents of 10 children with a growing number of grandchildren, and we would like to invite you into some of the conversations we have had with each other about marriage, parenting, and Catholic family life. Our hope is that our conversation sparks a dialogue between you and your spouse that leads to greater unity and intentional Christian parenting in your home. Listen in to our podcast and start the conversation as we seek to lead our families to heaven. Visit us at https:///www/MessyFamilyProject.org for resources, guides, links and show notes.

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