Relational Longevity, A Podcast For Couples

Ellen Boeder and Jayson Gaddis
  • 5.0 (5)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to The Relational Longevity Podcast with Jayson and Ellen, where we discuss long-term partnership, parenting, and how to keep your most important relationships thriving for the long haul.

  1. 14h ago

    2 Key Things About Attachment

    Why is attachment so important in a relationship? Jayson and Ellen break down what makes a partner different from a friend and why dependency is not the problem people think it is. They explore what it means to be someone your partner can count on, how to decide what kind of partnership you actually want, and why you have to consider what is good for you, your partner, and the relationship as a whole. If you want to build something solid, this episode is for you. Timestamps: 1:56 - why is attachment so important?3:53 - the difference between a friend and a partner8:41 - dependancy11:36 - don't forget that your partner is counting on you18:18 - decide what you want your partnership to look like20:40 - is this good for me, you and us?Links: ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

    24 min

  2. May 20

    Couples Retreat

    When was the last time you actually prioritized your relationship? Jayson and Ellen talk about why most couples wait too long to invest in their future and what it looks like to choose growth instead of just another vacation. They share what you can expect from their upcoming couples retreat, who it is really for, and why focusing on longevity changes everything. If you are serious about building something that lasts, this episode is for you. Timestamps: 2:36 - Retreat logistics/itinerary4:58 - When was the last time you prioritized your relationship?8:46 - Prioritizing longevity and your future as a couple12:13 - Growth instead of a vacation15:05 - Who is a good fit for the retreat?Links: ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

    19 min

  3. May 7

    Relational Longevity Part 2

    What does it actually take to build a relationship that lasts? In part two, Jayson and Ellen break down the four core aspects of relational longevity. They explore why you need a basic understanding of attachment, how the nervous system shapes your interactions, the role of communication skills, and what your relational code says about how you show up. They also talk about the importance of actively cultivating connection if you want something that goes the distance. If you are serious about long term love, this episode is for you. Timestamps: 2:27 You need a basic understanding of attachment4:27 Have an understanding of the human nervous system6:03 Communication skills7:51 Your relational code12:28 Cultivate connectionLinks: ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

    18 min

  4. Apr 30

    Relational Longevity Part 1

    What is relational longevity and why does it matter? Jayson and Ellen break down what it takes to build relationships that actually last. They explore the benefits of healthy connection, how to examine your own relationships honestly, and what defines a high quality connection. They also talk about discovering what is truly possible in partnership and why people want to feel utilized and needed. If you want relationships that go the distance, this episode is for you. Timestamps: 2:12 What is relational longevity?3:41 Benefits of healthy relationships 6:10 Examining your own relationships7:38 What is a high quality connection?11:10 Discovering what's possible in relationships13:29 Partners want to feel utilizedLinks: ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

    16 min

  5. 12/24/2025

    Our Thoughts on Divorce

    Jayson and Ellen explore divorce through an evolutionary and cultural lens. Why does divorce feel easier in some cultures than others? Why do some couples stay together but never truly thrive? How do you know when someone is the wrong person, and how do you honestly assess whether you did everything you could to make the relationship work? They also examine when divorce does not actually make things better and why taking responsibility for your role in relationship failures matters more than blame. Timestamps: 1:36 - Human evolution and divorce4:38 - Cultural differences in the ease of divorce9:44 - Not all couples that stay together thrive15:00 - How do you know when someone is the “wrong” person18:42 - Did you do everything you could to make things work?21:55 - When divorce doesn’t make things better26:16 - Consider your own role in relationship failuresLinks: ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

    28 min

  6. 12/11/2025

    Why Never Fighting Is a Problem

    Jayson and Ellen explore what it really means when couples say they never fight. They break down why fighting is anything that needs repair, not just overt conflict, and why couples who never fight miss important opportunities to learn. They look at the types of couples who avoid conflict, how much fighting is too much, which couples can work through frequent conflict, and the deeper issues that can be masked by a lack of fighting. Timestamps: 1:39 - When couples say they never fight4:11 - Fighting is anything that needs to be repaired9:50 - If you never fight you never learn12:50 - Types of couples that don’t fight17:04 - How much fighting is too much?20:27 - What kinds of couples can overcome fighting?22:52 - Issues masked by a lack of fightingLinks: ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

    30 min

  7. 12/03/2025

    The Masculine/Feminine Myth

    Jayson and Ellen break down the popular ideas around masculine and feminine energy and why these constructs create more harm than help. They explore how this paradigm becomes oppressive, why traditional gender roles limit co creation, and how over functioning and under functioning show up in relationships. They also examine why these ideas keep circulating despite causing so much confusion and disconnection. Timestamps: 1:44 - Popular masculine and feminine constructs7:15 - The oppressive nature of this paradigm18:39 - Traditional gender roles are bad for co-creation23:47 - Over-functioning and under-functioning32:10 - Why do these ideas perpetuate?Links: ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

    38 min

  8. 11/26/2025

    Playing to Win Even if You Lose

    What does it mean to win even when a relationship ends? Jayson and Ellen explain how to learn from your relationship regardless of the outcome and why being invested in your own growth is the real victory. If you want to leave every relationship better than you entered it, this episode will show you how. Timestamps: 1:24 - How to win even if you lose3:31 - Learning from your relationship even if it ends10:36 - You have to be invested in your own growthLinks: ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

    20 min
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5 Ratings

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Welcome to The Relational Longevity Podcast with Jayson and Ellen, where we discuss long-term partnership, parenting, and how to keep your most important relationships thriving for the long haul.

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