IVF DADDIES

JULIO GAGGIA AND RICHARD WESTOBY
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Sometimes it takes a village to make a daddy. Welcome to IVFDADDIES, where we blow the lid off IVF, surrogacy, same sex step-parent modern family‑making. We're Richard (surrogacy pioneer) and Julio (digital culture maker), and this is the show we wish had existed when we started our own journeys. 14 years ago, Richard set out to become a dad via IVF, egg donation, and surrogacy. Now he’s dragging Julio into the fertility world, and trust us, Julio is asking all the uncomfortable questions, to learn how to be the best partner and step-dad in the LGBTQ+ community. can you relate?

  1. APR 1

    94) THE LAW JUST CHANGED: SURROGACY RIGHTS, STATE BY STATE, AND WHY IT MATTERS FOR YOUR FAMILY

    The legal ground under surrogacy in the United States is shifting. And for once it is shifting in your favor. Richard sits down with Brian, a fertility attorney with 15 years of experience working exclusively in reproductive law, to break down what is actually changing, what it means for your parental rights, and why the families sliding into our DMs at midnight deserve real answers and not vague reassurances. Michigan just passed surrogacy legislation. New York has built in protections that are setting a new standard. California, the state that started it all, may be about to level up. And if you are LGBTQ+ and you have been quietly terrified about what this administration means for your family, Brian explains why a court ordered judgment protects you in ways that an administrative process simply cannot. This is the episode you forward to the person who just asked you "is this still safe to do?" Because the answer is yes. And after this episode you will know exactly why. 🎙️ CHAPTERS: 00:00 The Headlines Are Wrong: The Positive Legal Changes Nobody Is Talking About 02:08 Michigan Just Changed Everything: What the New Law Actually Does 02:59 Meet Brian: 15 Years in Fertility Law and Why He Never Looked Back 04:36 Can You Get a California Court Order and Use It in Arizona 06:04 Why LGBTQ+ Parents Need a Judgment Not Just a Birth Record 07:02 Will the Federal Government Roll Back Your Parental Rights 07:51 Once You Have a Judgment Nobody Can Take It Away 08:12 The Constitutional Principle That Protects You Across State Lines 09:30 Is the Surrogate Ever on the Birth Certificate 10:37 What California Collects and Why It Never Appears on Your Child's Record 11:55 Michigan Birth Certificates: What Comes Next

    12 min

  2. MAR 18

    93) WHAT EMBRYO GRADES DON’T TELL YOU ABOUT IVF

    Summary Most people going through IVF think embryo grades tell them everything. They don’t. In this episode, embryologist Emanuela Molinari breaks down what is actually happening inside the lab and why so many patients are making decisions based on information they don’t fully understand. We talk about why embryo grading is subjective, why two clinics can look at the same embryo and give you different answers, and why a “perfect” grade does not guarantee a pregnancy. We also go into something that is often ignored in fertility conversations. Sperm. From DNA fragmentation to why a basic semen analysis is not enough, this episode reframes fertility as something shared, not one-sided. We unpack why some clinics still transfer embryos on day 3, what blastocyst development really tells you, and how much of IVF success is biology versus how we interpret what we’re seeing. If you are going through IVF, thinking about it, or trying to understand your results, this will help you ask better questions and make clearer decisions. IVF, embryo grading, blastocyst, fertility, sperm DNA fragmentation, egg quality, embryo transfer, IVF lab, genetic testing, PGT, fertility education, embryo quality, reproductive health What embryo grading actually measures and where it falls short Why embryo grading is subjective and varies between clinics The difference between embryo stage and embryo quality Why sperm plays a bigger role than most people think What DNA fragmentation is and when to test for it What blastocyst development tells you about embryo potential Day 3 vs Day 5 embryo transfer and how clinics decide What genetic testing (PGT) is really used for How age impacts embryo development and chromosome errors What to focus on when reading your IVF results What Embryo Grades Actually Mean in IVFThe Truth About Embryo Quality and Fertility DecisionsIVF Explained Clearly: Embryos, Sperm, and What Really Matters “Embryo grading is more subjective than people think”“A euploid embryo can still be graded low and work”“Sperm is not secondary. It’s half of the equation”“PGT doesn’t make embryos better. It helps you choose”“What you see in the lab is not the full story” Chapters 00:00 Why embryo grading confuses people02:30 What you are actually seeing in an embryo05:30 Why grading is subjective09:00 The role of sperm in IVF13:00 DNA fragmentation explained17:00 What blastocyst development really means21:00 Day 3 vs Day 5 transfer25:00 Genetic testing without the hype30:00 Age and embryo viability35:00 What patients should actually focus on Emanuela Molinari https://eggstraordinaryembryo.com/ https://www.instagram.com/eggstraordinary_embryo KeywordsKey TopicsTitlesSound BitesChaptersGuest

    39 min

  3. MAR 11

    92) OLDER PARENTS, RELATIONSHIPS, EMBRYOS, AND THE TRUTH ABOUT IVF

    Does IVF guarantee a baby. Short answer. No. In this episode of IVF Daddies, Julio and Richard talk about something that almost nobody explains clearly. What happens to relationships when embryos enter the picture. Most fertility conversations focus on the science. Eggs. Sperm. Embryos. Transfers. Success rates. But the real story is emotional. Couples start IVF because the family they imagined did not happen the way they expected. And once the process begins, the decisions get harder. Frozen embryos. Donor eggs. Surrogacy. Whether to keep trying or stop. Julio and Richard unpack the reality behind modern family building. Why IVF can create pressure inside relationships. Why clinics focus on the medical side but rarely address the emotional side. And why even the best embryos in the world do not guarantee a baby. The conversation also touches on a moment from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills that shows what many people experience privately during IVF. The grief of realizing that biology does not always cooperate with the life you planned. They explore the changing landscape of parenting today. Younger LGBTQ couples becoming parents earlier. Straight couples having children later in life. And the difficult question many people face when fertility treatment fails. Is it time to stop trying. Or is it time to change the plan. This episode is about the truth behind IVF. Not the glossy brochure version. Because building a family is not just biology. It is relationships, expectations, grief, and the courage to decide what family will look like when the original plan does not work. TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE IVF success rates and embryo reality Surrogacy and donor egg decisions LGBTQ family building The emotional impact of IVF Why IVF clinics rarely address relationship psychology Older parents versus younger parents Reality TV and fertility narratives The grief of the family people imagined Why having a baby does not fix a relationship KEYWORDS IVF podcast IVF success rates surrogacy journey donor eggs IVF LGBTQ parenting gay dads surrogacy fertility treatment emotional impact IVF relationships embryo creation process family building decisions

    15 min

  4. MAR 5

    91)THE REAL JOURNEY TO GAY FATHERHOOD: IVF, SURROGACY, AND THE PARADOX OF PARENTHOOD | PEDRO ANDRADE

    What does it actually take to build a family when biology isn’t an option? In this episode of IVF Daddies, journalist and television host Pedro Andrade shares the deeply personal story behind becoming a father through IVF and surrogacy. Pedro is known for reporting on cultures and communities around the world. But this time, the story became his own. Together with his husband Ben, he navigated the long road to parenthood: finding an egg donor, matching with a surrogate, signing contracts, facing uncertainty, and holding on to hope through a process that can take years. We talk about the reality many people never see: Parenthood through IVF is not a moment. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Parenthood and Identity 05:37 The Emotional Toll of Surrogacy 11:00 The Role of Age in Parenting 16:24 The Impact of Surrogacy on Family Dynamics 21:50 Empowering Women and Challenging Norms 27:16 Advice for Prospective Parents It is a system of decisions, patience, trust, and resilience. Pedro opens up about the emotional paradox of becoming a parent. The overwhelming love, the exhaustion, the fear, and the life-changing responsibility that comes with raising his daughter Isabel. The conversation also explores Pedro’s documentary series “Somewhat Familiar” on Max (HBO Max), where he travels around the world to understand how different cultures define family. From matriarchal societies in China to adoption, foster care, and solo parenting, the series reveals how many ways there are to build a family. This episode goes beyond fertility and parenting. It’s about identity, belonging, and the evolving definition of family in modern society. Pedro reminds us of something simple but powerful: Parents are the people who show up. If you are curious about IVF, surrogacy, LGBTQ parenting, or the future of family building, this conversation will stay with you. Pedro Andrade’s documentary series “Somewhat Familiar” (2025) is streaming on Max / HBO Max, where he travels across countries including Italy, China, Japan, and the United States exploring how families are created around the world. IVFsurrogacygay dadsLGBTQ parentingfamily buildingIVF journeyegg donationmodern familiesfatherhoodPedro AndradeSomewhat Familiar HBO Maxsurrogacy processfertility educationintended parentsparenthood podcastreproductive sciencegay family journeyparenting challengesIVF Daddies podcast “It was worth every tear.” “Families are the people who show up.” “Parenthood is beautiful and brutal at the same time.”

    40 min

  5. FEB 11

    90) IVFDADDIES INVESTIGATES: SURROGACY INDUSTRY, TRANSPARENCY AND THE FUTURE OF FAMILY BUILDING

    In this episode IVF Daddies examines how modern family building is evolving beyond clinics and contracts into community infrastructure. We sit down with the founders of Families Out Loud to analyze what has changed in the surrogacy landscape over the past year and what that shift tells us about the future of IVF assisted reproduction and intended parent education. This is not a promotional conversation. It is an industry level discussion about Why safe spaces matter in surrogacyHow same sex and heterosexual journeys begin differently but merge in processWhat actually builds trust between intended parents and providersHow the surrogacy community responds when agencies collapseWhy education reduces risk and shortens consultation cyclesThe rise of AI tools in assisted reproductive technology Surrogacy is process management with human emotion layered on top.And the starting point determines everything. If you are exploring IVF egg donation gestational surrogacy or navigating infertility this episode provides structural clarity not hype. IVF Daddies remains committed to decoding assisted reproduction through lived experience transparency and systems level insight. IVFsurrogacygestational carrierinfertilityintended parentsassisted reproductive technologyLGBTQ parentsheterosexual infertilityfertility educationsurrogacy transparencyfertility AInonprofit fertility support CHAPTERS 00:00 One Year Later What Changed in Surrogacy02:48 From Niche Community to Cross Family Infrastructure05:29 What a Safe Space in Surrogacy Actually Means08:28 Trust Vulnerability and Emotional Risk11:03 Different Starting Points Same IVF Process14:03 Educating Families and Reducing Stigma16:46 The Role of Providers and Ethical Collaboration19:43 When an Agency Fails How the Industry Responds22:29 Nonprofit Structure and Education Strategy24:22 The Rise of AI in Assisted Reproduction28:40 Why Education Protects Intended Parents31:18 Building Sustainable Family Building Infrastructure Surrogacy is not just a medical process.It is infrastructure. The families who start informed are the families who finish protected.

    2 min

  6. JAN 22

    88) SURROGACY, POWER, AND THE NON-PROFIT INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX, WHO REALLY BUILDS FAMILY INFRASTRUCTURE?

    What happens when a non-profit succeeds so completely that it stops being charity and becomes infrastructure? In this episode of IVF Daddies, we sit down with Ron Poole-Dayan, founder of Men Having Babies, to examine how gay fatherhood moved from legal impossibility to corporate policy, insurance coverage, and international debate, and what it actually costs to change a system at scale. This is not a feel-good conversation about surrogacy.It is a systems-level discussion about power, ethics, money, advocacy, and the uncomfortable reality that any non-profit operating near medicine, law, and vulnerable populations eventually becomes a gatekeeper. We explore: Why redefining infertility as a social status changed insurance law How workplace benefits quietly replaced litigation Why ethical standards create both protection and exclusion Why the goal of real advocacy is to make itself unnecessary This episode matters now, especially in Europe, as debates around surrogacy, cross-border family building, and regulation intensify ahead of major community and policy conversations in Brussels. If you care about family, ethics, systems, and how change actually happens, this conversation is for you. We’re releasing this episode as we head to Brussels on the 7th to engage directly with families, advocates, and institutions navigating the next phase of family-building infrastructure in Europe. This conversation is not about defending one organization.It is about understanding how social change actually works, and why every mature movement eventually faces scrutiny not for failing, but for succeeding. If you want elite parenting to be boring, protected, and normal, this is the price. CHAPTERS: 00:00 Why Men Having Babies Exists02:48 Financial Assistance and Industry Proximity05:41 Advocacy, Law, and Institutional Power08:22 Redefining Infertility, Medical vs Social Status10:48 Workplace Benefits and Corporate Policy13:35 Cultural Blind Spots Around Male Parenthood16:18 How Surrogacy Evolved and Why It’s Contested19:01 When Advocacy Becomes Infrastructure Men Having Babies, Official Sitehttps://menhavingbabies.org Men Having Babies, GPAP Financial Assistancehttps://menhavingbabies.org/gpap IVF Daddieshttps://ivfdaddies.com Follow IVF DaddiesInstagram, https://instagram.com/ivfdaddiesYouTube, https://www.youtube.com/@IVFDaddies This episode is relevant to: Surrogacy ethics LGBTQ+ parenting Non-profit governance Insurance coverage and infertility law Workplace family benefits European surrogacy regulation Family-building infrastructure Reproductive justice and institutional power

    23 min

  7. JAN 15

    87) THE IVF LIE HOLLYWOOD SELLS WOMEN (AND DOCTORS ARE TIRED OF CLEANING UP)

    What if some of the most damaging IVF advice women hear doesn’t come from social media, but from oversimplified medical reassurance and pop-culture fertility narratives? In this episode of IVF Daddies, Richard Westoby sits down with reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Brooke Freeman to unpack one of the most misunderstood and quietly harmful fertility myths:“You have time.” We break down why markers like AMH measure egg quantity, not quality, why age still matters biologically no matter how “good” your numbers look, and why being told you can wait in your 40s often leads to irreversible loss of options. Dr. Freeman explains: Why egg freezing and IVF are tools, not guarantees Why “it only takes one” is true, but dangerously incomplete How false reassurance creates false hope Why celebrities and TV shows distort fertility expectations by leaving out donor eggs and embryo freezing And why context matters more than comfort when people are making life-defining decisions This episode is not medical advice.It’s not about blaming doctors.And it’s not about scaring people. It’s about telling the truth with clarity, before time runs out. If you’ve ever felt confused by fertility advice, pressured by age, or misled by success stories that don’t tell the whole story, this conversation is for you. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Egg Freezing and Fertility 02:38 The Reality of IVF and Age Factors 05:51 The Importance of Accurate Medical Advice 08:29 Empowering Women in Fertility Choices The KardashiansKim KardashianJanet Jackson All's Fair CULTURE CONTEXT DISCUSSED

    9 min

  8. JAN 7

    85) HOW WE BECAME PARENTS WITHOUT A RULEBOOK — LOSS, GRIEF, AND FAMILY-BUILDING IN THE NETHERLANDS

    Trying to build a family is hard. Doing it without a clear legal framework makes everything heavier. In this episode of IVF Daddies, we share what it really means to try to become parents in the Netherlands — a system filled with uncertainty, legal grey zones, and no clear roadmap for families like ours. We talk openly about loss, grief, and the emotional toll of repeated setbacks. About failed attempts and unexpected moments of hope. About how grief shows up in ways you don’t always recognise at first — and how you keep going when there are no guarantees, medically, legally, or emotionally. This isn’t a polished success story. It’s a firsthand account of what happens when the system doesn’t reflect your reality, but the desire to become parents doesn’t disappear. If you’ve ever faced barriers created by laws, institutions, or circumstances beyond your control — and still had to find a way forward — this conversation is for you. Real talk for real families. No rulebook. Just honesty. CHAPTERS: 00:00 Why We Wanted a Family 02:20 When the First Plan Didn’t Work 05:22 Trying Different Paths 07:45 Emotional Highs and Lows 10:13 Finding Support 12:49 Moments of Hope 15:17 Facing Setbacks 17:11 Processing Loss 18:59 Choosing to Continue 21:32 Trust and Connection 23:48 Sharing Our Story 25:50 Navigating Complex Rules 27:34 Waiting and Uncertainty 30:48 The Day Everything Changed 34:06 Talking About It as a Family

    35 min
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out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Sometimes it takes a village to make a daddy. Welcome to IVFDADDIES, where we blow the lid off IVF, surrogacy, same sex step-parent modern family‑making. We're Richard (surrogacy pioneer) and Julio (digital culture maker), and this is the show we wish had existed when we started our own journeys. 14 years ago, Richard set out to become a dad via IVF, egg donation, and surrogacy. Now he’s dragging Julio into the fertility world, and trust us, Julio is asking all the uncomfortable questions, to learn how to be the best partner and step-dad in the LGBTQ+ community. can you relate?

Information

  • Creator
    JULIO GAGGIA AND RICHARD WESTOBY
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    89
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © JULIO GAGGIA AND RICHARD WESTOBY
  • Show Website
    IVF DADDIES

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