Kindness Moves

incmedia.org
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Join genuine discussions and hear personal stories of how kindness moves us to action; reflect on why a lifestyle motivated by compassion matters; and be empowered to make moves yourself by focusing on the goodness of God. A podcast series brought to you by the INC Giving Project.

Episodes

  1. 01/26/2023

    How Much Do Words Matter?

    How Much Do Words Matter? [show open] Lois Paula: Whether you’re hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves. Nan: Yes, how kindness moves you to take action, you yourself, or just makes you feel something so good it’s contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community, or you just love the feeling of doing good. Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, the podcast brought to you by INC Media. We’re your hosts, LP and Nan. Nan : Right. Well LP, I’m really excited because we have another special episode today and the topic for today is we’re talking about words. You know from childhood, many of us are taught to speak politely. You know, for example, we say, we’re taught to say “Thank you” say “Please” or you know, ask someone “How are you.?” In general, we’re taught to use kind words and avoid the bad ones, right? But it’s something that becomes kind of second nature. So when we look back at our childhood and, and we think about the words that were spoken to us; maybe the words that we read or even heard, how, how much of an impact did that really make? Lois Paula: Right. It’s major. Words have an impact. Whether it’s something that we say, whether it’s something that we write, wherever we publish it, wherever we put it out–words have an impact. And you mentioned the words we read and I think we don’t realize, a lot of us, that that’s another avenue for us to receive words right?  Some of us are visual and so that reinforces what we’re ah listening to right? We see it so that it reinforces what we’re hearing, so to say, we read it. But you know when we think about it, ah, even from our earliest days of childhood until now–the words that were spoken to us, the words that we have read or the words that we ourselves have said, they all have shaped who we are and our experiences. They’ve all impacted one another. Nan : Right. I totally agree and, you know, that entire spectrum of words, you know, good and bad and everything in between has had such an impact you know? And, and that’s why I can’t wait to jump in today’s conversation. You know, not only do we have an interesting topic as I mentioned earlier, we also have some great guests joining us today. Ah, so first we meet an author who has published a children’s book entitled Mr. Awesome Great Day and she currently has another one in the works. So please welcome Rachelle De Dios. Rachelle: Hi  Nan: Hi Rachelle. Lois Paula: You like going by Rach right?  Rachelle: Yeah, most of my friends call me that and you guys are my friends and everyone listening so. Lois Paula: Hi Rach. Thanks so much for joining us today. And I think you are our first guest on Kindness Moves who has actually had a book published. Congratulations to you, that’s extremely amazing. You know it’s such a great accomplishment just in itself. Um, and I’d love, we’d love to know–how did this all start? So can you tell us a little bit just about your journey from um, you know, childhood up until now, you’re a published author. How did this all start? Rachelle: Awesome. Ah, thank you so much for having me and thank you for the kind words. Um, yeah to be honest with you guys I never thought I would create a book, write a book. That was never in the cards for me. But I think the whole, you know, story that I created, and I made, I didn’t realize how much it meant to me and when I started to see my story kind of unfold in my life with, you know, some things that I felt about growing up and how I really wanted attributes to be known more than our titles or attributes to be over our work occupations.I wonder if anyone feels the same because I feel like they might. I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to, you know–what do you want to be when you grow up? And there’s a lot of pressure to be a doctor or an engineer or a nurse, and those are all wonderful occupations. But we don’t really talk about the kind of person we want to be, you know?  Rachelle: We never say I want to grow up and help people, I want to grow up to be kind, I want to grow up to be someone’s best friend. We never talk about that. And when I realized that I– that’s what I ended up doing for a living and kind of going against, you know, some of the norms of jobs that are out there. I was like, you know what, I should write a book about it and see if anyone feels the same way. Lois Paula: Yeah. And on that note, can you tell us a little bit about, you know, what you do and how that has, you know, just kind of taken a different path and you have individualized yourself to take this path that you are now in and how it’s inspired you to get to your book? Rachelle: Totally. So no one ever knows what I do and it’s the best. But everyone’s like “What, what does Rach actually do?” Um, so…  Lois Paula: Here you go let’s set it straight. Rachelle: Yeah, here we go. Finally I get the moment. No, I’m just kidding. So I work with the brain. I do have a background in speech pathology but I actually don’t work with speech clients. I actually help the–I help the speech pathologist create brain programs for patients for kids. So a lot of, especially children, they have, you know, developmental goals. Everyone has different goals growing up and I get to help create programs for attention, awareness, reading, language and, and kind of going beyond the diagnosis. That’s the best part of my job. You know there’s a lot of diagnosis out there when it comes to healthcare and patients. But it’s not, you know, it’s always about–cool that’s the diagnosis. But what else, you know? You’re beyond your diagnosis There’s so many great other things about people and about kids and if we’re working with, you know, for example, ADHD, um, you know, that means that they can have a lot of great ideas and they’re, maybe they’re like me. But by the way I actually was diagnosed with ADHD growing up so it’s something I love to talk about. But you’ll probably notice that in this podcast, you’re probably going to, you’re probably going to want to stop me from talking because I talk too much. I think that I should have warned you guys before I came on here. Um, but it’s, it’s helped me become more of a people-person. I love creating ideas for my work. It has helped me develop different strategies. I love working with people, meeting new people and that, I think, has been because of how I was, you know, my personality. And some of the things that I had to go through growing up. Nan : Wow, you know it’s interesting to see too. I mean and, I know we’re still early in this podcast, but there’s, there’s a running theme with you right? There’s, obviously you wrote the children’s book, which is to help young minds and um–but then your profession also is geared towards helping those young minds and I think it’s really awesome. Was there something in particular that kind of, I don’t know, put you on that trajectory, I mean even from your childhood? Rachelle: Yeah. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up and even when I was in elementary school, high school and then even the beginning of college, I felt like all my friends, they knew exactly what they wanted to do and they had their paths kind of set out for them. But for me, I never knew, I never really knew what I wanted to do. I Just knew that I wanted to have, you know, a greater purpose. Um, and then of course everything that I ended up doing too, I always want to relate it also to church right? So um, helping people, using faith as a big motivator in my career was something that I really wanted to see if I could, if I could channel,  and I think that’s what kind of led me here. Nan : Wow that’s awesome. It sounds like it’s been quite the journey and, you know, you mentioned faith, you mentioned even at a young age you were–kind of that was one of your motivations right? So It’s been that journey. So if we could continue on, just on the childhood part. Was there anything from your childhood that really influenced your view on kindness?  Rachelle: Totally. And let me know if I’m, if I’m rambling again.  Nan : No no, you’re not. You’re not. Rachelle: Um, so when I was growing up, we lived with my grandparents and so I’m an only child…  Nan: Me too, me too.  Rachelle: Oh are you? High-five. Yeah. Nan:  Yep, high-five, high-five. Rachelle: Yeah, there’s a lot of connotations to that but high-five. Yeah, we made it. Um I was an only child, but I was also the eldest of the grandkids and there was like a huge gap, like I think it was like, nine years until my family, until I had a cousin basically. So I copied everything my uncles and aunts did. I, you know, I always watched what my grandparents did. And my grandparents were known as the family in the church that let everyone stay at their house for free when they moved. Nan : Nice. Rachelle: So like, you know, when people would travel to Michigan, that’s where I’m from, there would be a lot of brethren that were just starting off in like their career or in their life. So a lot of you know, a lot of brethren in the church would be like “Oh you know Sister Fely and, you know, and Brother Roberto, they’re really known for helping people get on their feet.” And I would always see different brethren at my grandparent’s house and, you know, whether they were eating dinner with us, or having lunch with us, or just hanging out and watching TV with us, I would know that my grandparents were helping them out in some way. And I feel like that really stood out to me forever because I was young. I would see so many different families from the age when I was–I saw so many different families when I was o

    50 min

  2. 10/27/2022

    Learning Kindness From Parent-Child Bonding

    Learning Kindness From Parent-Child Bonding [show open] Lois Paula: Whether you’re hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves. Nan: Yes, how kindness moves you to take action, you yourself, or just makes you feel something so good it’s contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness. You might want tips on how you can act now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good. Hi everyone! Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We’re your hosts LP and Nan. Now in a previous episode we discussed how to teach kindness to kids. Lois Paula: And in that discussion we met Teresa and learned about her daughter Katelyn and the importance of, you know, fostering a child’s urge to share kind acts. Now in today’s episode we continue the discussion of sharing acts of kindness with your child but we dive a little bit deeper and shift the perspective now to a father–a father of three who actively encourages his children to join outreach efforts that help their community. Now, as a mother, that’s something I inspired to do because it’s, it’s really these kinds of activities that promote, you know, parent-child bonding and teach kindness at the same time. Nan: Yeah, you know, I’m really, really glad that we’re continuing this discussion LP because it’s such an important topic right? I mean parent child bonding and being able to do these acts of kindness together. But I’m even more excited because we get to hear from a father. You know sometimes the perception is that it’s generally the mother that children learn kindness from, which I totally understand. You know, I learned a lot from my mom about kindness and being caring and she really influenced me greatly. But I would also like to highlight all the dads out there that make it a point to teach kindness, you know. Lois Paula: Yes. Nan: My dad definitely took the time to teach me those lessons so I just wanted to highlight all the dads out there and also tell my dad thank you. So thanks dad! Lois Paula: Yes, yes, that’s right. Now speaking of dads, shout out to all of the fathers, to all of the husbands out there. Just want to say thanks to my husband as well. You know, you’re right. We really do try our best to take every opportunity to be, you know, the best parents. But there are a ton of dads out there, you know, who are doing the same thing–trying to set a great example. And it just so happens that we are meeting one today. Yes! So he joins us all the way from New Jersey, let’s welcome Ted Pascual. Hi Ted. Nan: Hi Ted. Ted Pascual: Hello Nan, hello LP. Thank you for having me here today. Nan: We’re so so excited to have you.  Lois Paula: Yeah. Nan: You know we’re really happy that you could join us today all the way from New Jersey and I mentioned earlier that I was really excited to have you on the podcast.  Nan: As a father, you’ve encouraged volunteering and acts of kindness, which I’d like to highlight even more because we have all the awesome moms, but I also want to show all the awesome dads. And before we jump into your fatherhood though, I would like to start from the beginning–if you could tell us a little bit about your childhood. Who or what were your biggest influences when it came to your outlook on kindness? Ted Pascual: Well okay, so just to go back on what you guys were saying–yes, we always learn a lot of kindness from our mothers. Um, but the thing is I’ve always believed that there’s a lot of lessons that aren’t taught, you have to watch, you have to learn by sight. You have to learn by what you see. And that was the lesson that my dad taught being brought up in the Philippines. So they have that “I-am-head-of-household-I-just-give-you-a-stare.” Lois Paula: Yeah, the culture.  Ted Pascual: Yes. If someone needs to talk to you, it will be your mom. So my mom came to me with the “kindness” voice and calmness and where it was my father who just had that look. But as he performed his duties in the Church, you just see a totally different person. That’s where you see his kindness. You see how much he’s willing to help others without receiving anything in return. And it’s not because he had to, it’s because he wanted to. It was just how he was brought up and that’s how I was brought up. Yes I heard kindness from my mother but I saw a lot of kindness from my father. So that’s something that I’m trying to teach a little bit of both to my children.. Ted Pascual: So as a child, going back to what you were mentioning, one of my influences, of course, it’s always going to be my parents. You’re young and you hear a lot of “You have to be kind. You have to be nice to people.” And sometimes you’re just, “Why?” But when you’re really young, you don’t understand why. So you can say “Why?” and they’re going to say, “Oh because of this and this and this and that.” And you’re just like– Lois Paula: Okay. Nan: Right. Ted Pascual: You know, but then when, when you actually see them do it. And you’re seeing them and it’s not a labor you know? You don’t see them struggling to do it. You see them enjoying what they’re doing. You see them, how happy they are. You just learn–that’s the lesson that you’re learning of what kindness actually is. Of course my, you know, my parents always gonna be my influence as well as my sisters. They’ve always, you know, they were always there to help me, to remind me to be humble and to always be kind. But it also goes down to all the other elders growing up. As children, back in my day a long time ago, you know, there wasn’t that many, you know, there wasn’t that many superheroes or people that we really look up to. You know, the people that we looked up to were the ones that we seen majority of our life and we spent a lot of time in the Church. Ted Pascual: You see how they are being kind to one another and that just grows on you, you know? It’s like, well that’s what we’re being taught. We’re being taught to love our fellow man, the people that we’re seeing every day. And that’s just how you become influenced by–you’re like, “Well I want to be just like that. I want to be a nice person. I want to enjoy that type of kindness–that feeling.” You know, you don’t really get that feeling yet because you don’t really understand what it is but you see how it is. Lois Paula: And I would love to touch base on that topic just a little bit later because you know you’re comparing back then when we only saw what we see in front of us and now when there’s influences all over the place, you know?  Ted Pascual: Yes, yes. Lois Paula: But I would love to kind of just touch base on your childhood experiences. You know you said that you saw a lot from your parents. You saw a lot from those that surrounded your experiences, you know, at the chapel compounds, going to the Church Of Christ. Were there any childhood experiences specifically that stuck out and stuck with you throughout the years even until now, if you had one moment or a few that you could remember? Ted Pascual: One of the things that my parents, like I said, you know whenever someone would call and say, “So-and- so needs a ride.” You know, and when I became a decent driver, ah that as well came upon, like, “Hey, you know, we need brothers and sisters who can go to a different congregation to sing. But who’s going to drive them?”  “I will, I don’t mind.” You know–and that’s just something that, like okay, so those are the, you know, that’s a simple gesture, you know? And even up till this day, you know, so it’s funny because I seen it happen when I was a child. I did it when I was a teenager. And now here, now that I’m grown up, a parent of, you know, a family–we get that call, I would still do the same thing without, you know, without second questioning or anything like that.  Lois Paula: And I’m pretty sure your children see that that “selfless” in you as well and they’re gonna remember that. It’s just a simple gesture but it says a lot. You know, actions speak louder than words, like you mentioned. We appreciate your sharing those moments with us. And it’s always interesting, you know, just to reflect, to trace the origins, so to say, of our kindness journeys and our journeys in general. And it is–it’s an ongoing path of course. But now we want to shift our focus towards your transition into fatherhood. Ted Pascual: Yes. Lois Paula: Can you tell us a little bit first about, you know, your children your family–how many kids do you have Ted? Ted Pascual: I have three children. My oldest is turning 25. Lois Paula: Oh 25 okay. Nan: Ah I would have never have guessed that, that she’s turning 25. Ted Pascual: Yes she is turning 25. She currently lives and works in New York.  Lois Paula: Wow. Ok. Ted Pascual: My second is turning 20. She is actually in Southern California right now. Nan: Um, okay, cool. Ted Pascual: Yes, yes, she’s at Cal Poly Pomona. Lois Paula: Oh congrats. Nan: Nice. Ted Pascual: And then my my son who is turning 6, 17, he’s turning 17 this month. Lois Paula: See what a great dad. He remembers their birthdays and their ages. Nan: Yeah, you know and I got a little sneak peek. I got to see Jonah on the INC Giving episode that you both were in and it was really cool to see both of you in action. You know, you’re doing kindness in action. So that was really cool. Lois Paula: 25 is your eldest. Okay, we need to learn from you so we’re gonna take some notes. But we definitely appreciate and we’d love to continue to see you know how your experiences as a child has now been implemented into your own children and how, I’m sure, they’re taking that, now that they’re on their

    31 min

  3. 09/15/2022

    Cancer Survivor Shows How Kindness Heals

    Cancer Survivor Shows How Kindness Heals Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: It’s always better to look forward to better things than to dwell on what you can’t control. Right? You just have to keep trying to get to the next level and push through it, pray about it. What we’re going through right now, it’s not easy. Before the pandemic, whatever we were going through, it’s not easy. It’s not easy. One rule of thumb that one of my nurses told me is you can stay in bed one day, if you don’t feel like getting out of bed one day, but that’s it. After that, you have to keep getting out of bed. LP Riturban: Whether you’re hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves. Nan Zapanta: Moves you to take action yourself or just makes you feel something so good, it’s contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you connect now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good. LP Riturban: Welcome back everyone to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We’re your hosts LP and Nan. Nan Zapanta: So today we want to bring into our conversation how to keep positive and in turn exude positivity in our daily life. You know, when circumstances around you are maybe really tough and it’s pushing you in that other direction to be negative or, or just not see things in a positive light, how we can really turn towards positivity. LP Riturban:  So yes Nan, what we’re going to do to start off our conversation actually today is just ask our listeners, wherever you are to pause, ok. And think about the last time you were faced with a tough situation. It could be, you know, with your family, individually, maybe even in a really dire situation where you could barely see what tomorrow looked like. Now imagine that moment, the way you felt. Now replay your reaction to the things around you, the things people said, the things that happened the next day or that week, you know, did you still act with love? Do you still show compassion to those around you? Or did your reactions dictate otherwise? Did your reactions to what was happening still shine a light of positivity? That’s what we’re going to discuss today. Nan Zapanta: Right, and those are really great points to reflect on right? The moments of adversity, and that’s what we’ll reflect on today. How we can really keep a perspective of positivity no matter what life throws at us. LP Riturban: Yes, and to talk with us about it today, we introduce our guest from New Jersey. She is a professional in the legal services industry. She’s also a host and correspondent and a producer of INC Radio programming. Most of all, she’s also had her own share of life-changing experiences that she’s turned into motivation to do good every chance she gets and you know, just be that light. So let’s welcome Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman also known as Cat. Hello.  Nan Zapanta: Hi Cat. Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: Hi, everyone. Hi, Nan and LP. So excited to be here with you guys.  Nan Zapanta: So are we.  Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: What an introduction like, is that, is that my entire resume? Nan Zapanta: What is that my LinkedIn? Is that my LinkedIn? Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: Right? Wait, I really need to add some stuff.  LP Riturban: It’s like our drum roll. So here we have today. Nan Zapanta:  Well, we’re so excited to have you here with us. It’s been a conversation that we’ve been looking forward to, especially with that introduction, right? And we’ve, we’d really love to give our listeners a chance to hear you and give you a chance to introduce yourself. Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: Hi. As LP said, I am Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman. I’m known by a lot of other nicknames-Cat, Cathleya, Leah, and also Snow White as a kid. So that’s a fun one that I haven’t said in a very long time. I am from New Jersey and I do work in legal services. You know, I had to think about that one LP. You know, do I work in legal service? I do. I do. I am a passionate person. If you ever see me on social media, I have a lot of things to say. So and just, actually, just keeping it positive. I always look for silver linings.  LP Riturban: Well, we’re glad that you’re here today. We’re reflecting on, you know, our life experiences, how it can really impact, you know, the way we react to certain things in our life. And we’re honored because you’re an example of someone who has had life-changing moments. You’ve gone through your share of experiences, like many of us have, but you have made the most of the miracles you’ve received from God. Can you share with us just a little bit about your story, take us back, if you don’t mind, as much as you’re comfortable with and to your circumstances and where you are now.  Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: Sure, I want to start off by saying that, I think everyone, goes through a lot of things in life, right? And we’re not comparing apples to oranges, because it’s hard, everyone has their own “hard.” So my story brings us back to right after college, well, wasn’t right after, a few years after college. And you know, after college, after you graduate, you finally get “the” job. You’re like, wow, I finally made it, I have my profession, I have a regular paycheck, I don’t have to ask mom and dad for money. I’m traveling, I’m seeing the world. I’m buying my own stuff. And at the time, I was engaged. So everything was fun, fresh. And you know, there was no ceiling. The sky was the limit. And I was very active, of course, in my in church duties. But there’s just a lot going on as people in their 20s have, right? There’s a lot. You’re just busy, right? So, just always, busy, you’re always doing, you’re always doing something, you’re staying up for no reason. Just hanging out having fun. So it’s really the prime of your life. “You’ve arrived” is the moment that I think of. It’s the moment that I arrived, and part of that moment was being diagnosed with cancer–surprisingly. I get a lot of questions like well, maybe it runs in your family, maybe it’s…you know, when you’re in the thick of things, and you’re having the time of your life and something like this happens to you;it’s like the needle off the record. Everything stops, it’s quiet. It’s a moment where you have tough and honest conversations with yourself and with God. You know, when I was diagnosed with cancer, and it was a surprise, although I had thought of, when we’re young, we think we’re invincible. Right? We think we’re invincible. I’m twen… I’m in my twenties, I have all this energy, my skin is awesome, my hair is great, I got highlights, I got these awesome heels. Like, I have all these things. I’m so pretty, you know, like all those–I mean, just that’s a generalization that wasn’t me. But that’s just a generalization. That’s, that’s just the attitude that 20 year olds have. And, and you know, we’re not exempt from that. So when you don’t pay attention to things happening to your body. You know, you get a surprise. And that’s what happened to me. So I was busy with my life, and I wasn’t paying attention. So what I thought was just going to be like, here’s a cream or here’s, you know, here’s something–turned out to be cancer.  Nan Zapanta: Wow. Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: Yeah turned out, you know, I thought it’s like, oh, maybe we’ll have like a little procedure. And then it turned out to be something super major. Right?  LP Riturban: Yeah.  Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: And at 26 it’s not something you really think about. So, needle-off-the-record moment, and then you have these long, unending conversations with God about what’s happening in your life. And thinking back now, you know, I never asked why. I never asked why, why is this happening? I, instead, even then, because at the time, I didn’t know what my prognosis was, you know, doctors can never guarantee that they got everything, that everything went away, even with eight rounds of chemo or radiation, whatever the treatment is, they can never guarantee what it is. And I decided, since they say, they give you the math, they give you the odds, they say your percentage of survival is this. And if you do this, then your percentage will increase; kind of feels like getting a loan, right? So you have to calculate the mortgage. So those are, those are your options. And if you do this thing, it’ll take you, you know, this, this time to heal. And these are the side effects you can have. So it’s a lot of math in that sense. So rather than ask why and spend time in anger, because again, I didn’t know how long I had, before things, you know how things were going to turn out. I said, “Why would I spend that time being angry, resentful, bitter? Why would I question what’s happening in my life?” Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman:  Why don’t I just, you know, I looked at my parents, I moved back home, and I looked at my parents and my family, and everyone’s so worried. It’s like, why shouldn’t I just embrace them while I can? Right? Before chemo starts, before I might be isolated, before whatever happens, happens–why don’t I just do that? Why don’t I enjoy my taste buds while I still have them, you know, enjoy the things that I enjoy within reason, of course. LP Riturban: The things that you can control.  Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: Yes Nan Zapanta: Yeah Cathleya Fajardo- Deguzman: Yeah, exactly. And  just be grateful for every moment. Not gonna lie, it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t easy not to be in tears, realizing that you’re not in control of what’s happening. You have options but you’re not in control. You know, because you have to choose, it’s either this or this. You can’t choose not to do anything. And duri

    53 min

  4. 07/02/2021

    Growing Up And Living With Compassion

    Growing Up and Living with Compassion [show music intro] Natalie Fitzpatrick: I think kindness is probably the one thing that kept me grounded. You can be that beacon for yourself, if you just remind yourself that, you know, you have these values to return to at the end of the day so even if things get messy, like things go wrong in your life, knowing that you did something good for someone else, knowing that you did something good in general, even for yourself– putting good out there is not going to bring bad back to you. Like there’s no harm in radiating that light. LP Riturban: Whether you’re hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves. Nan Zapanta: Moves you to take action, yourself, or just makes you feel something so good it’s contagious, you know, you might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community, or you just love the feeling of doing good. LP: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We are your hosts, LP and Nan. Now Nan, in a previous conversation we discussed the importance of teaching kindness to kids. So, well what about after the kid phase. What about the tweens and the teens, the young adulthood and beyond? Nan: Yeah you know that that previous conversation that we had with Teresa, it was a great one. You know I learned a lot in our talk with Teresa and I really really enjoyed that conversation. But yeah you’re right LP, you know, what about the “kid phase”? What about beyond that kid phase? Where do we go from there? LP : When I look back at my teenage years, I remember so many of my peers, you know, finding it challenging to decipher what’s important, what’s cool, you know, not just now, but what’s valuable even in the future? Gosh, when we were teens, we couldn’t even think about the future; all our minds were, were focused on is, “what is today?”,  “what’s happening today?”. So, is that even a possibility for us to think about how what we do today affects tomorrow in five, ten years from now, you know? So today we will hear from a young professional who actually has been with the INC Giving Project, as an INC Giving Volunteer, when the project first started back in 2011. She was only 15 back then. But even now, she continues to actively volunteer and share acts of kindness. So let’s welcome Natalie Fitzpatrick from Vancouver, British Columbia. Hello, Natalie. Nan: Hi Natalie. Natalie: Hi.  LP: Good to have you here. Natalie: Good to hear from you guys again.  LP: Yay. Nan: Yeah, totally. We’ve been excited to, to have this conversation with you. You know LP and I have been looking forward to it. So thank you so much for joining us. Natalie: Thank you for having me. Nan: We’ve spoken in the past and it’s clear that you, you are a very kind person. So, as you know, today we’re talking about how it’s cool to be kind, no matter what age. Kindness, it really is timeless, so maybe we can start from the beginning: how can you recall from your childhood, what is it that instilled in your childhood such a strong passion to help others and to be kind? Natalie: Thinking back, I think it all starts really with my mom, like your parents are your first example of kindness, and what it means to show that to different people. Growing up, there were things taught to us and things that people read about all the time like love languages and how one of those things could be like receiving gifts or giving gifts if that’s the way that you express yourself, and I think the same can be said for kindness even.  I think with my family, especially growing up, my mom didn’t grow up with a lot so she had a pretty poor childhood growing up in the Philippines, she lived on a farm. So, to her, she always expressed the value of things, and how I should be grateful growing up that I had so much more than she ever had, or that my experiences were never as difficult as hers had been.  So, her first lesson to me would be treat people with compassion, because you don’t know where they came from. You don’t know their backstory, so everyone deserves to feel that kindness or that love from somebody, regardless of what your relationship is like with them.  LP: I love that. That’s said beautifully and I’m grateful to your mom and it’s so awesome like, like Nan said, in our previous discussion, we talked about, you know the impact that parents can have on their kids and so now here you are, a kid who directly received that from, you know your parents and you’re like you said, they’re your first example. So thank you to our parents for all that you did and have done and are doing for us. Nan: Yeah, I agree with you. My mom, when I think back, you know, she was such an inspiring and strong person and, and really influenced me a lot. And even when I think about it like my mom influenced me as far as even my like my faith and even having the duties that I have. She was a big influence even in that sense and that kind of led, and fed into kindness. Was that kind of your similar experience too? Natalie: I would say so. I think one of the things about her, pushing or advocating, advocating for kindness and compassion all the time is that I have a younger brother. So growing up, like, obviously when I was really young I was very very greedy and selfish, until he came along. LP: And then we get a life lesson. Natalie: Exactly, big life lesson having a younger brother, and at that point I think it all started with, you know, you need to learn how to share, and that, that stems from, yeah with your family, but then when you go out into the world too, sharing your faith is huge too. So kindness doesn’t just come from physical things like giving a gift to somebody, or even, just helping them with something that they need, like maybe you’re helping them pick up their groceries or bring stuff inside when they get home. LP: But just listening to someone.  Natalie: Yeah, exactly, just listening, checking in on people, even if you haven’t talked to them in a year or more, just saying hi and asking them how they’re doing, even though you don’t know what’s going on. I think that inspired me to, I think, be more social, which is also what pushed me to be stronger in faith. Because taking up some of the duties that I have, my responsibility is to do check-ins with people, make sure that they’re alright, and if they’re not, offer ways that I can help them. Even if I might not have the solution right here and now.  LP: Yeah, you will find a solution, or we’ll pray for one.  Natalie: Exactly. LP: So Natalie when you look back at it all, why was it so important that these values were deeply rooted, even at a young age? Maybe someone will wake up and they’ll learn it in their 20s or 30s; but you, having seen the value of it, being deeply rooted in a young age–how is that important, how could things be, maybe, different if they weren’t deeply rooted, when you were young?  Natalie: Well I’m going to, I’ll be honest with you, I was not always this nice.  LP: I don’t think anyone is. We’re human. We try. Natalie: I really think like growing up, even though our parents try their best to teach us the right way, or tell us how to act, or give us examples of situations we might end up in where we need to be more considerate, or think about the consequences, obviously as a teenager, you’re not thinking about those things like you said earlier, I think it does come to a point though where you go through these life experiences and you realize, or you put yourself in situations where like I could use some help, or I wish there had been a person there for me for this situation, or maybe it would have been nice to have somebody check in on me or help me out when I could have used a hand. So, I think learning that at a young age, and then having to go through those things on your own–as you get older you reflect on that and you think to yourself, well, if I’m not receiving that help, or if I’m not receiving that kindness from somebody else, I can be the person putting that out there for someone that might be in my shoes right now, or where I was before. So I think having that mindset from a young age, even though you don’t experience it right away–when you get old enough to understand where that’s coming from, it makes a huge difference in your life.  LP: Yeah, absolutely. I think even just knowing that we all need help, acknowledging that, you know, especially in this world today, everyone is on this independent, kind of, you know, DIY this, do it yourself that, learn how to do this and how many days–like it’s, it’s a very independent society. But we all, at the root level, are humans and we need someone; and it’s always inspiring to know that there is someone on the other end, willing to be there and to care for us and to help us even if, like we said earlier, just listening, you know. So we established that it is, at a young age, it’s important right, to have that solid foundation. But like you said, moving into tween years or teenage years, it’s really, it’s an awkward stage of life sometimes where, you know, we are very impressionable, like you said, and we’re exposed to so many outside influences. So at times it’s hard we have clouded judgment, you know, we want to think selfishly because we, we can’t see beyond today or past tomorrow. So how did you yourself hold on to what you learned in your childhood about kindness?  Natalie: Well going through high school especially because that, that’s where I was at when the INC Giving Project started. I think I had a lot of really good role models that I looked up to. So, I had one girl in my locale, she was five years older than me, she was just starting college and she was the one tha

    32 min

  5. 04/29/2021

    Build Good Habits for a Growth Mindset

    Build Good Habits For a Growth Mindset [show open] Frendhel: Having self discipline allows you to grow as a person and, not only that, it changes your perspective, it changes your attitude for the better. And what I’ve learned is that because of this, everything around me has changed for the better. If you drive on discipline, you know it has to be done, because it’s good for you, and you think about why you’re doing it – you’re gonna get up and do it. No excuses. [show intro] Lois Paula: Whether you’re hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you, to highlight how kindness moves. Nan: Moves you to take action, yourself, or just makes you feel something so good, it’s contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good. Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We’re your hosts LP and Nan. Now studies show that in order for a habit to form it takes repetition and a constant conscious effort. Right? Nan: Yeah and so in today’s discussion we’ll focus not just on any habits but creating good habits for a growth mindset – how an attitude of gratitude, most especially, can impact our daily mindset and help us focus on the good, so we can do good for ourselves and those around us. Lois Paula: Right. And so for today’s discussion, we will get tips from someone who consistently uses her online presence or digital footprint ,so to say, to spread positivity. So let’s welcome, from Washington State — she is a dental professional by day, and by night she’s not just a mom of two or a fitness enthusiast, a coach; she is also a producer, a correspondent, a content creator with Eagle Broadcasting Corporation and its many motivational segments, let’s welcome Frendhel Fejeran, otherwise known as Den Den.  Nan: Hi Frendhel. Lois Paula: Hey Frendhel. Frendhel: Hey what’s good  LP and Nan? How are you guys? Lois Paula: It’s good to have you. Nan: Great, doing great, doing great. You know, LP I think in your intro you said, “by day and by night”, but I think by super early morning she’s like the workout queen right?, I think that’s what, what she is. Lois Paula: You’re awake at dark o’clock.  Frendhel: Dark o’clock, that is correct. That is correct. And I’m just really excited to be here on this podcast with you guys. And I don’t think, I mean I love fitness – I wouldn’t quite say that I’m the fitness queen. Although I love fitness and I can be a queen, so I guess you’re right.  Nan: Perfect. Perfect. That’s perfect. We’re so excited to have you here with us, this past year has changed a lot of our perspectives and it’s really given us an opportunity to reflect, to reevaluate our goals right? And of course we all know we’re, we’re to varying degrees of isolation so we’ve really been put in positions to self motivate. So, if you can, Frendhel, help us understand firstly, what is a growth mindset? Frendhel: So a growth mindset – what I’ve learned how to define it for myself, is being aware that everything that you encounter in life and everything that you experienced, there is a life lesson. So be willing to learn from every experience for self growth and to improve. Lois Paula:  I love that and I like how you said what you’ve learned from you, because there’s so many definitions in the world right now, but just as you are discussing it, it’s how you’re taking it in, your perspective so that you can personally have your growth, you can apply it to your own life. And you know, you are also – yes, you are a fitness enthusiast, you’re a content creator for many motivational segments, but you know speaking of fitness, that in itself is just a big deal in terms of motivation. You consistently share your wellness journey online with your friends and family, which we know it isn’t easy. So how important to you is self discipline and self motivation? How have you made this a habit?  Frendhel: So first I had to think to myself – what are the results of being disciplined? What is the benefit of it and why is this important for myself – not only for myself but for my family? And so when I’ve defined that and for me it’s, being able to work out and having self discipline allows you to grow as a person and, not only that, it changes your perspective, it changes your attitude for the better. And what I’ve learned is that because of this, everything around me has changed for the better. And so when I think about that, think about the positive change, I don’t rely on motivation to get me to the gym or to get me to work out. I rely on discipline. Because if you only rely on motivation, like there will be days where you’re like, “Man I don’t feel like working out. I’m too tired.”, you know? And if you always listen to that voice, you ain’t ever gonna work out, at least not on a consistent basis. You know what I mean? You’ll go work out once a week, twice a week.  Lois Paula: AKA myself. Yeah. Frendhel: If you drive on discipline, you know it has to be done, because it’s good for you, and you think about why you’re doing it – you’re gonna get up and do it. No excuses. But at the same time, you have to be forgiving, right? Because you just can’t go because mama life takes over, other duties take over, all your other responsibilities and then at that point, you know, you just have to be aware of what is your current priority right now, and be okay with not doing what you had planned to do. Self discipline for sure is, for me, most important. Nan: That’s really cool to hear, the self discipline portion and how you kind of explained, even motivation. So do you see that the discipline, kind of, applies to other aspects of your life now? Like you’re more disciplined, you know, in anything else – it’s increased your discipline? Frendhel: Most definitely. And thank you so much for that question. So, every aspect of my life – so I’ll give you an example. One is food. Don’t we love food? Right? Nan: I do, I do. Frendhel: Comfort food… Frendhel: Oh yeah you know how people say they have a sweet tooth.  Lois Paula: Oh yeah. Frendhel: I have sweet teeth. Like, I love sweets. I love carbs. Lois Paula: And you are, for how many decades, you know, in the dentistry field?  Frendhel: So I just have to be like, you know, I have to make these changes. I have to be choosy and very selective of what I eat because of my health. So, health-wise, with food choices, discipline has played a huge role in me. I’m not telling you I’m perfect and I’m not telling you that I always make the right decision, but at least I made a conscious effort to make the right decision for my health, ultimately for my family. And another one is checking emails, and responding to them. So I learned in my job, that’s something that I have to do. And so knowing that I have to do it, even though I don’t want to do it. Because I do it consistently, regularly, I’m now applying that with my personal life and my personal emails. And so just, you know, things like that, but truly you can apply that with everything – your faith, as a mom, as a neighbor, as a family member, a sister, a niece, everything. There’s a home for self-discipline. Nan: Right, definitely, and you know it’s interesting because once, once you have that discipline and you apply it to your life it’s like you’re just creating good habits. We know how important creating good habits are, it sets us up for success right so what about tips. What are some ways you stay motivated to keep moving? Lois Paula: Yes because we need your energy Frendhel.  Frendhel: Podcast hugs! So some tips, being forgiving, for one, right? Just forgive yourself and make room for regress. Like, be aware that you are going to fall back. But when you fall back, you have to remember that it’s only prepping you for a come back. Right? So with every fall back there’s a come back. And when it comes to the habits, you can, be realistic. Okay, so for example for me this year, my goal is to develop new 12 healthy habits this year. I’m not going to try and develop 12 habits at one time. Because I know that’s just gonna stress me out. You know, in a life of mindfulness and just mental wellness, I’m not going to stress myself out when I don’t need to. So I’m just going to choose one skill or one habit that I’m gonna work on for an entire month. Because as you know right, they say, depending on what you read, it’s either 21 days or 27 days of consistency where you will build a habit. So why not dedicate one month to one habit? Right? And so, for me, my first one is proper skincare before you fall asleep at night. That was January and, oh man, I was so good, so good for 20 days. And then that one day, I was like, “Aww man I’m tired.”. But that’s okay, because, you know, you pick back up, as long as you don’t give up – that’s the key. Like, you don’t want to give up. Yeah, so pretty much dedicating the one habit for the one month – being aware, being realistic with your goals. This month I’m working on doing skin care with my girls now. Because now that it has become a habit of mine, I get to have skin care parties with my girls. Right, so in hopes that they too will develop that habit.  Lois Paula: Which that’s quality time as well. Yeah. Frendhel: Exactly, quality time. It’s fun and they are helping themselves.  Lois Paula: And I love that because you prove to yourself that you can do it as a habit so now it’s something you’re imparting to your children.  Frendhel: Exactly. Lois Paula: Awesome. And these are great ideas of how, you know, you maintain just habits in general but what if, like you said earlier, we’re human,

    24 min

  6. 04/22/2021

    The Healing Power of Kindness

    The Healing Power of Kindness [show open] Dr. Sydney Fontanares: Kindness is an act, or it’s a practice. It’s something you cultivate. So being able to be intentional about when we practice kindness and asking ourselves those questions and reflect on it. The question that I like to use is you know “How can I bring kindness into my day – whether to me or another person in any small way?”, and just starting off my day with that and ending my day with that. [show intro] Lois Paula: Whether you’re hoping to heal the world or heal yourself. This podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves. Nan: Yes, how it moves you to action – you yourself. Or how it just makes you feel something so good, it’s contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good. Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We’re your hosts LP and Nan.  Nan: Hi. Lois Paula: So today on Kindness Moves, we talk more in depth on how kindness heals. It’s a topic that actually resonates with many of you, especially as we’ve all gained this new perspective this past year. And some of us are even more focused on our emotional and mental health. Nan: That’s so true, LP. We’ve all had to adjust. I’m sure we’ve all had to learn to reshift our focus and I’m sure everyone has had to pick up some broken pieces to try to make the best of our different situations. Lois Paula: So in terms of kindness. How can it help really? You know, are good deeds truly capable of being healthy for the heart, the mind for the soul? You know, for example Nan, if you think back to, for instance, you know, a rough time in your life, what’s one thing that might have helped you? Nan: You know, it’s no secret, 2020 was such a rough year for almost everyone right, to varying degrees, and my family and I, we were no strangers to that. Unfortunately, I lost my mom in 2020. And that was definitely the darkest moment in my life. What was interesting though was even though it was the darkest moment, you know, kindness, really was one of those beacons of light and kindness from family members from brothers and sisters in the faith, from friends – that that kindness really helped us to maintain that that positive outlook and mood, you know, so kindness really does move and help others. Lois Paula: Absolutely and firstly I just want to thank you for sharing that Nan. Our hearts are truly with you and everyone who have grieved especially this last year alone the loss of someone or even something you know I’m sure all of us have lost something – plans or a future, you know, that we were hoping to have. But you’re right, having a community, it strengthens us, it reminds us that there’s still so much more to gain in life from all the blessings that we have and for me personally, it’s, it’s my kids, actually, you know, they remind me to take more moments to laugh and be present and to be more joyful so their kindness their natural being of you know them being kids it, it truly does help me. Yeah, so we talked about today, how can we use kindness to help, ourselves first, so that ultimately we can be of better help to other people. Actually, before we even get to that, what is this feeling anyways? That feeling of being affected, just by one simple act of kindness. Why is it so powerful? Nan: Right. That’s the big question right and this episode is why it’s a perfect time to bring on a clinical psychologist to help us explain what that feeling is. So let’s please welcome, Dr. Sydney Fontanares. Dr. Sydney Fontanares: Hello. Hi. Hi Nan. Hi LP. How are you guys? Lois Paula: Thanks for joining us.  Dr. Sydney Fontanares: I’m so excited to be here.  Nan: How are you? Dr. Sydney Fontanares: I’m great, well as good as you can be, right? Nan: Yeah, you know, and we’re really excited honestly, because you know the fact that this is your field and this is something that that really fits right into, you know, this, this whole discussion fits into into your field of work and we’re really excited to hear from you and. You know, according to studies like we’ve seen that there are certain studies that are out there and they’ve described what’s been called as, quote unquote happy chemicals in our brain. Right? And when we’re a recipient of kindness or if we witness an act of kindness or something where someone does something nice for somebody, there is an actual physical reaction that happens in our bodies when we witness those things right Dr. Sydney? Dr. Sydney Fontanares: Yeah, so those happy chemicals we call those neurotransmitters. And these are chemicals that occur in our brain that sends messages through neurons which are the building block of the brain and they send messages to one another, and it, it makes certain parts of our brains function, elicits pleasurable feelings, it motivates behavior. So, a couple of these specific happy chemicals, that is what I’ve seen in research related to, when someone is doing an act of kindness includes dopamine, which is our reward hormone. So when we do something kind for someone. We get rewarded for it. Our brain, really likes it and it will produce dopamine, and it would elicit a pleasurable feeling.  Other happy chemicals or neurotransmitters is, it includes serotonin, which is our mood stabilizer. So for patients that we see who have clinical levels of depression, our psychiatrists and our doctors, they typically prescribe, what we call an SSRI, which targets the serotonin in our brain. So, we can see how it very much relates to feeling happy or stabilizing our mood.  We see an increase of that when people are doing acts of kindness. And there’s this thing actually, if either of you have heard of like a runner’s high, it gives us like a, like a really happy feeling, there is this thing called like a helpers high. So, when we are doing an act of kindness, or even witnessing an act of kindness, we can get that increase of happy feeling sort of that glow that we get. And then also, there’s something I did read recently to is the neurotransmitter oxytocin. Are either one of you familiar with that one? Nan: We have heard of oxytocin Yeah. Lois Paula: Is that the love hormone right? Dr. Sydney Fontanares: It is the love hormone or the cuddle hormone. Lois Paula: Oh cuddle hormone. Nan: Cuddle hormone. Dr. Sydney Fontanares:  Yeah, super cute. It occurs when, where we see it in childbirth, when we’re petting a dog or hugging a loved one or a family member. It’s a way for us to build trust and comfort with one another. It builds the strong bonds with one another. And this is so essential in our society and that’s why it’s so important to help one another and create those connections. Lois Paula: Yeah, and it’s not just a feeling, there is an actual physical reaction that’s happening in our bodies, you know, there’s no hiding that it’s not just, oh I feel good and it, you know, seeing it. It makes me feel, you know, warm and fuzzy inside. It’s an actual chemical process that’s happening. So you mentioned, you know kindness being something that we can do. What are some simple things that we can do on a day to day basis, maybe, to help elicit that response in our, in our bodies, in our minds? Dr. Sydney Fontanares: Sure. So I would say the first thing would be, you know, not only just acts towards other people, but kindness towards yourself. There is the Psychologist, Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Tara Cousineau, she has done a lot of research on kindness and mental health, and she noted that the first person that’s important to receive kindness, is yourself. She talks about how sometimes we get so distracted by our own, I guess unkindness to ourself, we can’t be kind to other people. That would be a good start.  Another thing too – I read just some research about just tracking our kindness, having like a kindness journal. I know like the big thing is like a gratitude journal. But having a kindness journal and being able to note, you know what kind of kindness, what acts of kindness you’re doing. The research was on happiness, subjective happiness and having people just write down acts of kindness that they’ve done throughout the week for one week. And what they notice was that people became more happy when they were just doing this intervention, just writing things down, of what kind of acts of kindness they were doing, and even planning for kindness, they’ve written down in they notice that people were, not only happy, but more grateful. Lois Paula: It’s a great way of putting it, and it’s like you said, it’s a constant conscious effort. Right? And we appreciate you bringing that up because I don’t think we truly realize how impactful doing something so small can really be you know for those around us yes but like you mentioned, Dr. Sydney, but even for ourselves. And these days, you know we need as much contagious positivity as we can really get. Nan: Right, I totally agree and Dr. Sydney, thank you again you know you speak of the physical impact the chemical influence doing good has on our emotional well being. And we truly thank you for starting this conversation with us. But now, before we jump to our next guest, again we want to say thank you we will come back to Dr. Sydney further down in the podcast but right now we’re going to jump to another guest to speak to us about spiritual well being and how kindness can heal the soul, as well. Lois Paula: Yes, so we like to say hello and a warm welcome to a Minister of the Gospel, Brother Lowell Nucum. Hello. Nan: Hi Brother Lowell. Bro. Lowell Nucum: Hello LP. Hello Nan. Thanks for having me. Lois Paula: Yes, thank you for joining us. We’re so grateful. Over the years, Brother L

    25 min

  7. 04/15/2021

    How To Teach Kindness To Kids

    How To Teach Kindness To Kids [show open] Teresa: One little thing can make a difference in somebody’s life and seeing her realize that and seeing her do these actions on her own without us telling her what to do, has been so amazing. For us, our biggest success is raising a daughter who is kind because that’s just her heart, and for us that’s the most important thing. [lead in] Lois Paula: Whether you’re hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you, to highlight how kindness moves. Nan: Moves you to take action, yourself. It just makes you feel something so good, it’s contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good.  Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast, brought to you by the INC Giving Project, we’re your hosts LP and Nan!  Lois Paula: So today we are actually talking about a topic that hits close to home — raising kids, now specifically raising kind kids! Being a mother of two, this topic, is something that my husband and I, we always try to instill in our kids in different ways. But we know, there isn’t a one size fits all approach; but definitely, we value seeing and hearing what other parents have done to raise their kind kids. Nan: Well you know LP, I, I gotta say, I don’t think you give yourself or Glenn, the credit that you guys deserve. You know you and your husband are definitely on the right track — trying is already the first step, and seeking knowledge is the second step in the right direction, so you’re on that right path. And I have had the privilege to meet your kids and to get to know your kids, and I gotta say they are truly kind kids.  Lois Paula: Thanks to you Uncle Nan. Nan: But I don’t have any little ones of my own…  Lois Paula: Yet. Nan: …yet, but I do have nieces and nephews, you know, and I also helped with the youth group in our local congregation, and I’ve come to learn that kids have such a wide range of personalities and influences so I can see why there isn’t a one size fits all approach. Lois Paula: Yes, and I’m glad you brought that up Nan, you are a teacher in the Children’s Worship Service and so we’re grateful for you and your help and you’ve seen my kids and you’ve helped raise them and our co-officers, you know in the office and whatnot. So we’re grateful. It does take a village to raise a child so thank you in advance for all that you do for the youth in the Church Of Christ being a teacher in the Children’s Worship Service.  But yes for all our listeners who are new parents, maybe you’re a grandparent or even that awesome aunt or uncle, like Nan, who is helping raise you know the kids in your household, this will be a fun and hopefully helpful listen to us all. So our guest today is actually a mom herself, who is also an educator, so let’s welcome everyone Teresa Castro. Nan: Hi Teresa. Teresa: Hey everybody, thank you so much for having me. Hi. Lois Paula: Hello. Now Teresa before we get started, can you introduce yourself to our listeners? How long have you and your husband been parents? Teresa: We have been parents for 10 years, going on 11. Nan: Oh nice. Lois Paula: All right, and your, your, you have one daughter, is that correct? Teresa: Yes correct one girl. Lois Paula: How has parenthood been thus far — 10 years, congratulations. Nan: Yes congratulations. Teresa: We have been really spoiled. She’s amazing. She’s an amazing little one. So she’s very talented and hardworking and so loving and so we’ve been really, really blessed, but she is, you know, going through those almost teenage years and we’re trying the best we can, but she’s still wonderful, we’re very lucky. Nan: I remember being in that, at that age. I can say that I was not the kindest, so… Lois Paula: You weren’t a kind kid? (laughter) Nan: No, I tried to be, but you know as a young kid, you play in the playground. Lois Paula: There’s a lot of influences like you said. Nan: Yeah. But my parents did a great job and got me right back on track. Teresa: Well that’s good to know it’s never too late. But luckily Katelyn has been, she is just intrinsically kind. So, it hasn’t been hard for us but we know that teenage years are coming. We’re not sure what they’re going to bring so we’re praying hard, but we’ll do our best, that’s all we can do, right? Nan: Right. And you know, you hear it in this podcast, it’s in the title, “kindness” we hear the word kindness a lot. And it can be perceived in so many ways. So Teresa, what’s your idea or definition of kindness? Teresa: Wow, that’s a big question. Yeah, kindness is, I mean of course it’s being friendly to others, but I think a big piece of kindness when it comes to when we’re talking to our daughter is being generous, and also being considerate. We often talk about, you know, being kind means putting others before ourselves a lot of the time, and we try to instill that with her as much as possible. Lois Paula: Absolutely, and it’s something that you have to keep teaching, it’s not something that you just teach one time and you know it goes away but like you said she’s entering in her teenage years, and there’s a lot of influences so hopefully you know what you have taught and what you will continue to teach like you said will will be implemented.  But we’re talking about kindness and parenthood. But what about upbringing? How has kindness been instilled for you specifically Teresa, as you were growing up? Do you recall certain moments where it was in your family and now it’s impacted the way that you treat Katelyn? Teresa: Oh definitely. Growing up, my parents were, you know, they were very strict but they were also very kind, not just to me but to everyone around them. So I was very blessed because when my parents raised me they really did teach me to put others first and I think that was a big thing so whatever I do, I accomplish, whatever I get, I just make sure that you know I’m serving others and that’s a big part of my life, life of service. That’s why I’m a teacher and that’s why we instill that in Katelyn as well, because you know when she does that for others that, of course makes her feel good too and it’s the right thing to do.  So, I always saw my parents giving to others very generously. A lot of the times you know putting others first and making sure they got everything they needed before we got all the things that we needed. And growing up, you know, it was hard to understand at first but then after a while you saw and you saw how wonderful it felt to really give to others so seeing them do that and being generous with their time and with their resources, not only with our family but with friends and with people from our Church, that was, that really made a big impact on me and I knew that it was something I wanted to carry on to my to my daughter and my family. Lois Paula: Absolutely, I agree. I think when I look back, it was my mom who I looked back at as my hero, you know like, the most selfless person in the world. But yeah kindness is definitely something we strive for every single day. It’s easy to disregard it, especially the times that we’re living in everyone is, you know, needing something so it’s easy to kind of just forget about it and really focus on ourselves. Yeah, I’m glad that, that inspiration has allowed you to carry what you’ve learned on into your parenthood as well. So in a way, you know, being kind to something we all need to really fight for like you said, and make sure it continues despite all of the negativity around us. Teresa: Right, absolutely. And I like how you put it that you have to fight for it because it’s not something you know you can learn it one day, but a lot of things happen in life so we really do have to teach our kids to fight for what’s right, and whether or not other people are doing it, you know, you have to really fight for, for kindness for being kind to one another and yourself as well. Nan: Yeah, I totally agree. You know kindness, it takes effort right. I mean it’s easy to only think of yourself or disregard the needs of other people and you know you talking about your parents and how they raised you to put the needs of others ahead of yours, you know I think that’s a really really great lesson to have been taught to you. And it’s great to hear how kindness was something that was instilled in you at such a young age, you know, and I really do think your parents found success because it seems to have really stuck with you even into parenthood. Teresa: Oh, thank you. That’s probably the biggest compliment that you can give them. Thank you so much that’s really kind of you to say as well. And it’s really yeah it really is so important to us so thank you for that. Lois Paula: And you know we can’t say it enough kindness kindness kindness it’s the name of this podcast and it’s a topic we touch on every single episode, but we usually we talk about how we should and could be kind — but today’s a little bit different because we’re also talking about how to instill it in, not only ourselves, but in the kids we raise. You know to see how much it can really impact, not just us and those around us but have a lasting impact, even after we’re gone you know for our kids. Nan: Yes. Yeah, and that’s, that’s the goal right. And it’s not just about us and what, how we can improve ourselves but also the kids that, you know, as parents that you have to raise and also the kids that are in our lives, whether it be through our family and friends. So Teresa earlier in the podcast we learned what your idea or definition of kindness is, how does that translate into you raising a kind kid?  Teresa: So for us, like I said, a big part

    25 min

  8. 03/26/2021

    Building Confidence in Yourself and Others

    Building Confidence in Yourself and Others [show open] [lead in] Lois Paula: Whether you’re hoping to heal the world or heal yourself. This podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves. Nan: Yeah, how kindness moves you to action, you yourself. Maybe it’s just something you feel, something so good, it’s contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness. Maybe you want tips on how you can act now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good. Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We’re your hosts, LP, and Nan. That’s right. Our very own host also of the INC Media program Blueprint– Nan Zapanta. Nan: Hi everyone. Hi LP. LP: So Nan, today we are tackling you know a topic that might not seem like an obvious trait or characteristic that we need in order to help others, but it makes sense when you really think about it. Okay, today we discuss confidence. And for those who might not say you know it’s not really needed you know to be kind to do good. Our guest today just might change your mind. Nan: Yeah you know LP, it’s really interesting what you mentioned about confidence, not being an obvious trait or characteristic, you know most people probably think, oh, you have to be nice. You have to be patient. You have to have a kind heart. You know those are the main traits that they associate with a person that wants to help others and I totally agree. Those are great traits and are definitely needed, but confidence, confidence is too and it makes total sense. LP: Yes, and for any of our listeners who are on the fence, you know about going out and volunteering or reaching out to those who may need help– maybe you don’t know where to start. You know I myself, you know, sometimes I doubt myself. I get a little bit timid, you know, maybe you feel like you’re not qualified or you’re not good enough to help as in you know you feel like what you have to offer isn’t that valuable. But hopefully, today’s discussion will dispel any doubt, and it will give you a push towards the right direction. So for today’s show, let’s welcome from Las Vegas, Nevada, Ludan Taquiqui. Hey Ludan. Ludan: Hello. Nan: Hey Ludan. Ludan: Hey Nan. Nan: Oh, it’s so awesome to have you. I heard your story and I’ve met you in person, we’ve had cool discussions in person and it’s so cool to hear from you again. Ludan: Oh most definitely. Same here. Nan: So Ludan let’s just jump right into it. You know we’re talking about confidence. You are an entrepreneur, you’re a boxing trainer. When I was over there I was privileged to visit your gym and I got to see you and your students in action. Can you tell our listeners a little bit about your boxing training, the gym that I was able to visit, and your goal in helping your students? Ludan: Okay so my boxing training, it’s really to help people to better defend themselves. And also, basically living out my passion of sharing the talent that God gave me. And if you could share that with others, basically what happens is you get lost in time, when you get lost in time you just start to help people with unconditional love and energy. And it just, it just makes everything simple.  Nan: I witnessed it first hand you know when, like I mentioned, I was able to visit you at the gym I don’t know if you remember, I was definitely not at the same level as you and your students but I got to see it happen and, and it does feel like time kind of slows down and you’re really just focused on the task at hand and what made it really cool it was it wasn’t just seeing everyone into boxing, it was like into helping each other, you know, I even saw your students helping each other and kind of like what you’re talking about how you get lost and doing these acts of kindness. Ludan: Absolutely and and it’s just it’s just so organic, because once one hopes out each other, I want others to help hope out of each other and basically it’s just, it’s a gift that keeps on giving. LP: Yeah, absolutely. Ludan how long have you been boxing for? Has this always been a part of your life, or you know, how did this start? Ludan: Basically, when I used to live in Colorado, I saw Manny Pacquiao back in the day and that was like uh, about 2001 and I really wanted to do boxing but in Colorado didn’t have nothing. So when I moved to Vegas in 2003. That’s when it all began. Yeah, so it’s been since 2003 with the training and learning the sport.  LP: Which is awesome because you know you would think that boxing it’s competitive, you know it’s super physical but you’re not only just training, you know your body you’re training for a fit mind and you know all of that.  Ludan: Right.  LP: That’s pretty inspiring. For all of our viewers who want to see, Ludan actually has a feature from the INC Giving Show. You can check it out on incgiving.org, where we kind of take a look into, you know his gym, like Nan said, we see him and his students in action. But we know Ludan that there’s so much more to your story we kind of want to dive in deeper into your inspiration behind all of what you’re doing. You mentioned in your story, you mentioned free classes. So you’re not only providing training for these students but you’re providing something else in addition to that. Being an athletic sports trainer, it’s like a big platform that you’ve chosen to take and you built on it, even beyond physical training. So, can you share with us a little bit about, you know, what you’ve done with, with your studio and how you’re taking further steps to, again, not only to have a fit body, but a fit mind as well for your students. Ludan: Definitely. So mandatory before training we always pray. We gotta pray before training. Nan: Nice. Nice. LP: I’ve never heard a boxing gym that does that. Ludan: Yeah, we basically got to ask for God’s guidance, we ask Him to coach us, to teach us, and to really send, send the Holy Spirit to be with us because at the end of the day, I couldn’t do it without God. And my boys is working with an Olympian that got signed to Top Rank and praise God, He’s been with us you know so I’m like wow. To get back to your question, so basically– mandatory, we always got to pray. And then at the end of every boxing session, we have a conversation. We talk about what we learned. There’s always ways to take a particular story and infuse it with, with the teachings that we learn daily. Yeah, so that’s basically the key to the success that we’re gaining as a squad, so like wow. LP: We’re so grateful that your students are receptive to it. Can you tell us a little bit about the students that come in, you know, to your gym to, who are they, young are they older? Ludan: Yeah. So basically, a lot of them are young right now but there’s actually a couple. There’s a handful of students who are actually a little bit older, who are like an Air Force officer, there’s some realtors. But like a majority are young, so basically what happened was, what I did was, donate my time to a rec center, to help out with boxing, and eventually like when I was donating my time, the classes got way big, and they started double charging the kids. And I’m like “Oh no that’s, that’s not right.” because the parent started talking to me and I was like “Oh what’s going on?”, they’re like “Yeah they double charging us now.” I was like “Wow, so you know what, yeah we’ll train at the park. We’ll train at the park so you guys don’t have to worry about that.” And they’re like, “Are you serious?” I said “Yeah yeah.” I said “But there’s a condition though.”, and they’re like, “What’s the condition?”. The condition was, you have to do Bible study and each Bible study gets you a free class.  LP: Wow.  Ludan: They’re like, “Are you serious?”, “Yeah.” Nan: You know, and that’s what really makes it even more awesome, is the fact that these are free classes. As we all know, 2020 was a hard time for all families. So how much more impactful was it to have free classes and and why do you choose to do free classes because anyone, anyone that has a skill and knowledge can charge something, even if it was just even a small amount they could charge something. But why do you choose free classes for these families and the students? Ludan: There are certain people who I do charge. There are certain people. Like if I know they can handle it, alright cool I’ll charge. But if I know that the family is going through it, you can kind of tell. You know, you can kind of  see it. So, the reason, the way I look at that, about giving free classes, it’s like, hang on, hang on real quick. Nan: It’s ok, take your time. It’s alright. Ludan: Yeah, the way I look at that is, it’s l like a offering, you know what I’m saying? So it’s like an offering. Because if God gave you a particular skill or a particular talent. The way you could give back is by giving it for free. Like, they could go listen to the teachings. I mean, yes, money is essential. But there’s also a portion of your life that you can dedicate to God by giving your talent to them for free. And God willing, their heart opens up so that they can actually listen to the teaching. You know what I mean? So that’s that’s basically the way I truly look at that part– is giving your talent to those individuals who who need it. And then also finding a way to open that gate of their heart to hear the truth, and you know what, to be honest with you, there’s been a couple who have actually have been receptive. There’s this guy, he listened to it and he, because after they listen to Bible study I basically tell him listen, after you’re done listening, I want you to tell me 20 things that you learned from this Bible study. LP: Oh wow.

    28 min

  9. 03/26/2021

    Doing Good One Step at a Time

    Doing Good One Step at a Time [show open] [lead in] Lois Paula: Whether you’re hoping to heal the world or heal yourself. This podcast is here for you to highlight how Kindness Moves. Nan: Yes. And you might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your own community. Or maybe you just love the feeling of doing good. Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness moves a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We’ll tackle topics on volunteerism, on creating good habits for a positive mindset, on raising kids, or maintaining an attitude of gratitude, generosity even in entrepreneurism and so much more. Nan: And we’re your hosts, Nan, and LP. Lois Paula: So Nan, we’re bringing up something today that everyone gets. You know, we’re human, and as much as we want to make our lives better you know by helping those around us, we all have limits. You know, we can admit it, we all get tired, we all get fatigued. Nan: Right. You know, we feel it; all of us feel it today, especially with so much going on. And in today’s world we all wear, you know, multiple hats. We’re having to juggle sometimes more than we can handle, you know, all of us have so many different responsibilities and sometimes it just seems like we can’t even catch our breath. So where can we possibly find the energy to continue helping other people if we can’t even help ourselves or if we don’t have the energy to help ourselves? Lois Paula: Right. So well, to our listeners finding yourselves in the same boat, let’s get re-energized together today. We have joining us in our episode, a Kindness Ambassador who will share what kindness moves she’s made for lasting and continuous impact, despite fighting fatigue — a runner’s fatigue to be exact. So everyone let’s welcome, Renezen Benedicto. Hi Renezen! Nan: Hi. Renezen: Hi, how are you guys? Nan: Renezen, I just want to jump right into it because Renezen is such a unique name, but I have heard you being called by another name. Is there another name you go by? Renezen: Yes, I have a few, but most people probably know me as Dimple. Nan: Dimple, can you please explain — why do people call you Dimple? Renezen: I have these monster holes on my face. Lois Paula: Monster holes. Nan: That sounds scary. Renezen: It is, but they’ve been there since I was born, so like ever since I was a baby I’ve been known as Dimple. Nan: Dimple. Okay, so it’s pretty obvious why your name is Dimple, so thank you for clarifying. So Dimple, you are a runner and you recently finished a race that you participated in and you’re also part of a running group in the Bay Area. So what is it about running that you love? Renezen: You know I, to be honest, I never really liked running. I grew up playing sports and running was just that thing you had to do, but I think as, you know, as I got older and like, you know, everybody’s busy, running just became this way for me to still go out there and do something active and not be dependent on people’s schedule and stuff like that. And then after a while, it just became this way for me, you know, on busy days and days where it’s really stressful, like work or with everything going on in life, it’s kind of like an escape — regardless of how I feel going into the run I always walk away feeling better. Lois Paula: That’s a beautiful way of putting it. It’s, it’s your hobby. It’s your pastime. It’s, you know your way like your, your self care type. And it’s also something that helps you physically, you get these natural endorphins that help you and make you feel better. So can you explain to us what is runner’s high Dimple? You know, there’s this natural chemical change that happens right, can you explain what is it? How do you feel? How do we get it? Renezen: I know, I didn’t really believe it, until — for me, it’s when I hit like the third and fourth mile. Like the first two miles, I have to convince myself the whole time like — “do not quit, you just have to run a little bit more, a little bit more.” But there’s a threshold you cross, and like it just feels good. You know, there’s still pain right, like your muscles hurt and like, you’re still focusing on your breathing but everything just, I don’t know, something turns and everything just feels like you’re meant to be out there running. And for me, I think that’s what runner’s high is. I know people have described it in very different ways, but you do walk away feeling so much better at the end of it. And you you know for me like I know, I get there, when I’m running and I’m already thinking about the next place I want to run.  Lois Paula: What’s the normal run like how many miles? Renezen: You know lately, especially right now, like for me right now a couple of miles is, is good. But I used to be able to run three to five miles, a couple of times during the week that part feels normal. And like, I live on hills so sometimes when you’re running downhill like the rush of it, is even, it builds up the exhilarating, it builds, yeah. Lois Paula: I’m already getting pumped. I’m getting inspired, I’m going to run, not really, maybe. I need to.  Renezen: One of the things that I learned, because like I said right, running was not something that I loved growing up. And it wasn’t until a few years ago actually, where I just decided to go out there to run. Like it didn’t matter if I ran like half a mile or a mile or two miles, it was just I was just gonna go out there and if I ran half a mile and that was it. I was good, like I wasn’t going to put that pressure of “I have to run three miles I have to be this fast, at this point.” and all of that stuff and it took doing that and really falling in love with it that way, versus like — I used to sign up for races, not train until the month before, and just show up. And I think as you get older you stopped doing that because it hurts. Like, that’s not smart anymore. Lois Paula: You stopped worrying about, about the details, so to say, you know. Renezen: Yeah, and it’s just going out there. The Bay Area is such a beautiful place that there’s so many places that you can’t experience in a car or from just being near it, you actually have to run through it or walk through it and it’s it, you see so many different things you wouldn’t have experienced without it. Lois Paula: And you said earlier you said you kind of just have to go out there and take that first step, which is beautiful because we can all use that you know that extra dose of happiness in our lives, especially with these times that we’re living in, you know we’ve all been at home mostly so it’s a perfect combination of both, you know, physical and mental support that you’re getting through it. Nan: I think it’s awesome that you have these awesome experiences through running, and that you found a way to do what you love, that, at the same time you’re able to make a difference in your community during this pandemic. So, you know, we know that you love to run, but we also know that you like to help your community. So how did you find an opportunity to combine both? Renezen: I think it was that around the time I started liking running a lot more than just, you know, something I had to do. You know I was already volunteering so I was looking at, I think I may have just ran into an article about an organization called Back On My Feet. What they do is — three times a week, they go out for runs and it’s volunteers and individuals who are currently homeless. And so, they go out to run at 5:45 in the morning. They run anywhere from a mile to I think five miles sometimes, depending on you know what your level is. The idea is, if you can commit to getting up three times a week to run at 5:45am — and for these individuals who are homeless, if they’re able to commit to that for a month, then they’re, they are able to kind of get additional help to kind of get them back on their feet basically. And I, you know, the whole concept behind it, because waking up at five in the morning to go for a run is tough. Lois Paula: Right, that’s a sacrifice. Nan: Not fun, not fun. Renezen: And for them to show up, and I remember the first time I went out there and they were, you know, there was a group of them that they were out there and they have, you know — and you go out on a run with them and you start talking and you forget about who’s homeless and you forget about who’s a volunteer and you end up talking about like different experiences that they’ve had and you’ve had and these individuals in San Francisco, there’s such a big homeless population but these individuals. I don’t know, I think sometimes we have this idea of what a homeless person is like. But these guys were, you know, they came to San Francisco hoping to get a better job and they wanted to take care of their families. But, you know, life didn’t turn out that way for them. You know they ended up on the street, they ended up homeless, and they were, the fact that they were there that morning, you could tell that they were trying to get out of that situation. And so, you know, every three times a week you would just get to know these people. The more I ran, you get there at 5:45, and I was always late because I don’t know I’m the worst waker-upper, but like the recog— I think it’s because you’re out there and there’s a, you already have something in common, because you’re out there at the same time with these people. And you start like, building these relationships with them and you get to, you get to know a little bit more each time you go out there for a run with them. There was this one guy, I remember he, in his younger days he goes, “I used to be a big time runner.” like you know he used to compete a lot. And so, we would get to stop signs

    30 min
  • 9 Episodes

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

Join genuine discussions and hear personal stories of how kindness moves us to action; reflect on why a lifestyle motivated by compassion matters; and be empowered to make moves yourself by focusing on the goodness of God. A podcast series brought to you by the INC Giving Project.

Information

  • Creator
    incmedia.org
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2023
  • Episodes
    9
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyrighted by the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ)
  • Show Website
    Kindness Moves