Love Inside Out with Adele Testa

Adele The Coach
  • 0.0 (0)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

What if the way we've been thinking about love is keeping us from actually having it? Whether you're happily partnered, struggling to connect, or somewhere in the messy middle—pull up a chair. Let's figure this out together. Love Inside Out is for anyone who's ever felt like they're performing in their relationship instead of living in it. For people who wonder if compromise has turned into playing small. For those asking: Why was this easier in my twenties? I'm Adele—coach, and curious human. Thank you for joining me in this journey!

  1. 6D AGO

    16.The gated bridge: how to protect your peace at family gatherings

    You know that moment at a family gathering when someone asks about your love life, your choices or your body and your chest tightens? This episode is your preparation. Easter is close. You'll want this before you walk through that door. In this episode of Love Inside Out, I'm giving you the gated bridge — a way to protect your peace at family events without shutting anyone out, building walls, or spending the whole afternoon in defence mode. We cover: Why the standard "set a firm boundary" advice keeps you braced for a fight that never actually comesThe neuroscience behind why redirecting a conversation is one of the most effective social tools you haveExact phrases for every scenario — the love life questions, the timeline pressure, the "you're not getting any younger"How to walk into a gathering as a team if you're bringing a partnerAnd if you haven't listened to Episode 2 yet — go back. I go deep on couple dynamics and communication there, and it pairs directly with today. Link right here on the feed. https://plinkhq.com/i/1877487346/e/1000749826778 No walls. No courtroom scripts. Just warmth, clarity, and your peace — intact. Follow me on Instagram @adele_thecoach for more. 🤎 Adele, the coach

    29 min

  2. MAR 29

    15. Why you shouldn't make love decision when life has shaken you

    Making a big decision about your love life when everything is falling apart is like grocery shopping when you're starving. You grab whatever's closest. You don't read the label. You just want the empty feeling to stop. That's not clarity — that's compensation. This episode might save you from the wrong call. Love Inside Out — out now.

    21 min

  3. MAR 22

    14. What primary school kids know about Love -that most adults have forgotten

    Last Sunday, I spotted a poster on a classroom wall in a primary school. Five rules. Handwritten in coloured marker. For children aged six. And I stood there thinking — if adults of my generation learnt and applied these five rules in their romantic relationships, half the heartbreak out there simply would not exist. We teach children these things before they can tie their shoelaces. Then somewhere between childhood and adulthood, we collectively forget every single one. In this episode, I go through all five rules — one by one — and show you how each of them is a masterclass in how to love another person well. We talk about why we stop listening the moment we start preparing our defence. Why we confuse intimacy with agreement. Why we stop being curious about the person we love — and start relating to a version of them that no longer exists. Why we deliver emotional verdicts without ever explaining ourselves. And why changing your mind in a relationship feels like losing — when it's actually the bravest thing you can do. Whether you're in a relationship, dating, or single and doing the inner work — this one is for you. Chapters: — Welcome & the story behind the poster— Rule 1: Proof of listening (not just the intention)— Rule 2: It's ok to think differently (no, really) — Rule 3: Stay curious — what Gottman found about couples who last— Rule 4: The power of "because"— Rule 5: Changing your mind is not losing— Heart Work: Your challenge for this week— Closing Referenced in this episode:John Gottman — decades of research on long-term couple satisfaction, including the concept of "love maps" and curiosity as a predictor of lasting relationships. Key works: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999), The Science of Trust (2011). Love Inside Out — new episodes on Spotify & Apple PodcastsDMs always open: @adele_thecoach

    15 min

  4. MAR 15

    13. The invisible contract: what we expect from love

    You've never sat someone down and handed them a list of your assumptions and expectations for how to love you. But you have that list. And when someone breaks a rule they were never told about — it feels like betrayal. If this hit close home, DM @adele_thecoach Love Inside Out is back with an episode about the thing underneath most relationship frustration: the invisible contract. The unspoken expectations, unconscious assumptions, inherited rules, and silent scorecards that run in the background of every connection — and the damage they cause when they're never brought into the open. This one is for you whether you're in a relationship wondering why the same friction keeps showing up, dating and feeling let down by someone who's actually trying, or single and starting to question whether your standards are too high — or just too quiet. Hit play if you've ever been furious with someone for breaking a promise they never made. . In this episode of Love Inside Out: 📋 The difference between assumptions, standards, and expectations — and why confusing them creates most of the friction in your love life 🧊 Why the person sitting across from you carries a completely different blueprint for love — and neither of you knows it 🪞 The most dangerous mental shortcut in relationships: "they did X, so it must mean Y about us" 🔇 Why most of us were never taught to express what we want without it sounding like an attack 🗝️ How to make the invisible visible — the four areas where every couple and every person dating should start having honest conversations 🔥 The parallel love story: how two people can be in the same relationship and describe it as two entirely different experiences . Chapters: 00:00 — Introduction01:30 — What Is an Invisible Contract?04:30 — Where Do These Contracts Come From?07:30 — What Happens When Contracts Clash11:00 — The "If I Do This, You Should Do That" Trap14:00 — How to Make the Contract Visible17:00 — The Heart Work18:30 — Closing References: 1. Dr Robert Glover — No More Mr Nice Guy. 2. Gottman Institute. 3.Denise Rousseau — psychological contract theory. Terri Cole. . New episodes every Sunday. Follow Love Inside Out so you never miss one. 📩 DMs always open: @adele_thecoach

    23 min

  5. MAR 8

    12. Why we rage at the people we love

    That moment you became someone you don't recognise. The text you sent. The silence you weaponised. The fury that came out of nowhere — and the shame that followed. Love Inside Out is back with an episode about the emotion nobody wants to admit they can't control: RAGE. Not frustration. Not irritation. The kind of anger that bypasses your brain entirely and leaves you wondering who just spoke with your voice. This one is for you whether you're in a relationship, navigating something undefined, or single and realising the same anger pattern keeps showing up no matter who you're with. Hit play if you've ever looked back at a moment and thought: that wasn't me. In this episode of Love Inside Out: 🧠The neuroscience of why you literally can't think straight when rage hits — and what's actually happening in your brain 🧊 Why anger is almost always protecting a deeper emotion you haven't named yet 🌋 Why your explosion is rarely about this moment — it's about every moment before it that was never addressed 🔇 The difference between managing anger and preventing it from building in the first place 💣 Why screaming louder doesn't make people listen — it teaches them to survive you 😶 The shame hangover nobody talks about — and what it's trying to tell you 🔬 What the research says about rage rooms, pillow punching, and why "getting it out" makes it worse . New episodes every Sunday . Follow Love Inside Out so you never miss one. 📩 DMs on Instagram always open: @adele_thecoach . Chapters: - Introduction- What is rage, actually?- The Iceberg: anger as a secondary emotion- The space between: why rage is not the Real You- Why we Rage at the people we love (and the people we're starting to love)- Why your rage is disproportionate- From anger management to anger prevention- The illusion of power, the shame, and the morning After- The Heart Work for this week- Closing

    35 min

  6. MAR 1

    11. How to recover - and actually grow - after an argument

    That heavy silence after a fight. The forced cheerfulness. The pretending everything is fine when it very much is not. We have all been there — and most of us have no idea what to do next. Recovering well from a clash is one of the most underrated skills in love — and almost nobody is teaching it, yet it is an essential skill because it is impossible to never ever have a disagreement. Love Inside Out is back with an episode that tackles the part of conflict nobody wants to talk about: the aftermath. Not the shouting — what comes after. The repair, the misreading, the patterns we keep repeating without realising why. If you have ever walked away from a disagreement thinking are we even right for each other? — this episode might change how you see that question entirely. What's waiting for you when you hit play: Six reasons why people clash — and how to spot which one keeps showing up for youA scale to measure how serious a conflict really is — because not all of them deserve the same energyThe one mistake that ends more relationships than it should — and how to stop making itWhy being understanding and being a doormat are not the same thingThe uncomfortable truth about apologies — and what actually needs to happen after oneConcrete steps for wherever you are: settled relationship, undefined situation, or flying soloNew episodes every Sunday. 🔄 Follow Love Inside Out so you never miss one. 📩 DMs open on Instagram: @adele_thecoach

    39 min

  7. FEB 22

    10. Overthinking in relationships & dating: Why your brain won't let you love in peace

    You replayed the conversation. You analysed the text. You stayed up at 2AM building an argument about something that hasn't happened yet. And now your stomach hurts. This episode unpacks why overthinking takes over in relationships and dating — and what's actually going on underneath it. We explore horror vacui (the brain's refusal to sit with uncertainty), the cognitive distortions that make you react to a story instead of reality, and the self-fulfilling prophecy where the fear of losing someone becomes the very thing that pushes them away. You'll also learn the five rumination cycles — blame, control, doubt, worry, and self-pity — and discover which one runs your mind. Plus, a practical framework called the SLOW method to interrupt the loop in real time. Whether you're in a relationship or navigating modern dating, this one's for you. Especially if you've ever lost an entire Sunday to a one-word text.

    32 min

  8. FEB 15

    9. How to recognise your person: a dating framework for singles

    If you're single, chances are you've been hurt. You've lost trust — not just in love, but in yourself. You tolerated things you shouldn't have. You stayed too long. You ignored the signs.This episode is your reset. I share a framework she's developed through years of working with clients and my own dating experiences. No checklists. No "must-haves." Just a different way of thinking about how to find — and recognise — the right person for you. In this episode, you'll explore:→ Why being single isn't a waiting room (and how to stop treating it like one)→ The drowning metaphor: why we choose badly when we're desperate→ The difference between making space for love and creating a void→ Know yourself first: patterns, non-negotiables, and what you bring to relationships→ Observe, don't project: why we fall in love with potential instead of reality→ Time is your friend: what to look for beyond the butterflies→ The "you just know" myth — and what recognition actually feels like→ Quality over quantity: why time invested isn't a reason to stay→ Red flags vs yellow flags vs personal preferences — and why not everything is a red flag→ The traps we all fall into: settling, rushing, scarcity, and potential Whether you're dating after divorce, navigating the apps, or wondering if love will ever find you — this episode offers tools to help you make a better call this time around. 🎧 Save this one. Come back to it. Share it with a friend who needs it. . . . .#dating #relationships #singlelife #datingadvice #findingtheoune #selftrust #datinginyour30s #datinginyour40s #datingafterdisvorce #redflags #relationshippatterns #datingframework #loveadvice #knowyourworth

    27 min
See All (16)

About

What if the way we've been thinking about love is keeping us from actually having it? Whether you're happily partnered, struggling to connect, or somewhere in the messy middle—pull up a chair. Let's figure this out together. Love Inside Out is for anyone who's ever felt like they're performing in their relationship instead of living in it. For people who wonder if compromise has turned into playing small. For those asking: Why was this easier in my twenties? I'm Adele—coach, and curious human. Thank you for joining me in this journey!

Information