Love Thy Neighbor Show

Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
  • 5.0 (179)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

  1. LTN 30 - Piles of Secrets

    11H AGO

    LTN 30 - Piles of Secrets

    Love Thy Neighbor rebranding discussion and tone shift Dan jokes about appearance, gray sideburns, unshaven look Beard dye trends and contrast of gray vs dark facial hair Ska band and exaggerated character comparisons Listener email segment kicks off after backlog Husband obsessed with Instagram coastal minimalist aesthetic Comparing real life to influencer homes, bodies, vacations Pressure on wife to match size 0 influencer standards Resentment over not affording influencer lifestyle Husband asks wife to get in shape for photos Criticism framed as creative growth, dismissing feelings Emotional disconnect and absence from family life Wife feels she is competing with fantasy lifestyle Social media addiction impacting relationship expectations Coastal aesthetic explained as beach chic Hamptons vibe Hosts react to absurd social media pressure on spouse Therapist angle on unmet emotional needs behind fixation Body criticism and comparison harming relationship trust Example of body criticism contributing to divorce Attraction, communication, and sensitivity in long term relationships Advice to have honest conversation about emotional impact Suggestion to find compromise around shared interests Balance partner interests with respect and emotional safety Reframing messy life as authentic and positive Social media lifestyles described as staged and performative Influencer content compared to curated family content Obsession tied to unmet needs outside relationship Encourage expressing loneliness and competition feelings Competing attachment where hobbies replace partner connection Examples of identity consuming hobbies and social circles Risk of hobbies leading to emotional or physical affairs Debate on control vs trust in relationships Focus on where emotional energy is directed Importance of restoring emotional presence in relationship Social media addiction fueling dissatisfaction and comparison Algorithms shaping feeds and attraction patterns Cultural shift in expressing attraction publicly Decline of catcalling and public objectification norms Modern expectations around respectful comments Debate on giving compliments appropriately Suggestion wife consider leaving due to behavior Reminder emails reflect one sided perspective Advice to communicate without blame and clarify feelings Miscommunication driven by tone and body language People interpret words through personal experience Importance of clarifying meaning in conversations Warning against serious discussions over text Long distance relationship maintained through constant Zoom Emotional exhaustion from nonstop virtual interaction Relationship fading despite constant communication Question of sustainability without physical presence Need for plan to reunite in person Lack of touch and intimacy weakening bond Digital only relationships not sustainable long term Spouse hides 165000 in student loan debt Conflict over secrecy and financial transparency Trust breach seen as core issue Debate over shared vs individual debt Secrecy more damaging than financial burden Hidden decisions compared to secret luxury purchase Pattern of hiding actions to avoid conflict Therapy insight on secrecy from fear of disapproval Importance of honesty even if partner disagrees Balance independence with transparency in marriage Secrecy creating bigger relationship problems Different views on full transparency vs privacy Emotional intimacy requires openness Some prefer limited knowledge creating different dynamics Show format note chaotic start advice middle humor end People avoid conflict due to partner reactions Importance of maintaining identity in relationships Encourage asserting needs respectfully The Cost of Quiet book mention Wrap up of relationship advice segment ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    47 min
  2. LTN 29 - The Kids Are Alright

    6D AGO

    LTN 29 - The Kids Are Alright

    Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    47 min
  3. LTN 28 - Are They Into Me

    APR 16

    LTN 28 - Are They Into Me

    Show intro jokes about smooth opening and host banter Colette praised for wide range of talks and promo work Desire to do more public speaking but lacking demand Upcoming Rollins College talk on communication and conflict Online dating class with Wing Girl on sustaining attraction Focus on connection after early dating stages Zoom classes for global audience comfort Older men dating younger women discussion Ethics and realism of large age gaps Kate Hudson libido comments referenced Debate on biological attraction vs emotional connection Preference for partners closer in age Discomfort with dating very young adults Attraction seen as situational not always intentional Relationship dynamics vary by needs and personality Some prefer submissive partners, others reject it Attraction to confidence, intelligence, independence Questioning father-daughter dynamic relationships Acknowledging some age-gap relationships are healthy Transactional relationships can still include care Emphasis on consent and awareness in dynamics Self-improvement before dating others Be yourself means improve, not stay stagnant Importance of communication and social skills Difference between casual dating and meaningful connection Key traits: kindness, curiosity, attentiveness Thoughtfulness stands out in disconnected culture Attraction can grow from consistency over time Preference for steady behavior over love bombing Balance showing interest without overwhelming Emotional connection built through deeper conversations Listener question on knowing romantic interest Confusion between friendliness and flirting Physical touch as possible but unreliable signal Importance of emotional awareness and perception Cultural habits influence touch and behavior Signs of interest: leaning in, engagement, attention Difficulty reading signals accurately Friendships can evolve into relationships Friend zone debate not always permanent Rejection experiences and emotional impact Asking directly for clarity encouraged Clear communication reduces uncertainty Risk of changing dynamic when asking Better to clarify early to avoid deeper hurt Soft rejection phrasing suggested Attraction often immediate and subconscious Sometimes attraction grows, often it does not Courage needed to ask despite fear Rejection seen as useful information Clarity helps decision making in relationships Avoid situationships by defining intent early Vulnerability required for real connection Practice builds resilience to rejection Confidence grows through repeated rejection Humor and personality increase dating success Example of David Spade success style Nikki Glaser relationship dynamic discussed Non monogamy acknowledged but not preferred Open relationships carry emotional risks Jealousy and attachment complications noted Celebrity rumor: Mike Vrabel and Diana Russini Debate over interpreting public photos Physical closeness suggests blurred boundaries Environment adds suspicion to behavior New attraction visible through behavior Emotional involvement possible without cheating Gender bias in public backlash discussed Impact of cheating scandals on families Some couples stay together after scandals Controversy turned into career opportunities Monica Lewinsky reputation shift discussed Power imbalance in Clinton scandal noted Media bias against women highlighted Double standards in infidelity narratives Satirical take on defending male figures Promo for Fairvilla Megastore talk Topic: The Cost of Quiet and communication Importance of discussing sex and intimacy Taboo around intimacy harms relationships Encouragement to improve communication Closing jokes and outro banter

    46 min
  4. LTN 27 - Knowing Your Roll

    APR 10

    LTN 27 - Knowing Your Roll

    Love Thy Neighbor Show

    46 min
  5. LTN 26 - Listener Emails

    APR 2

    LTN 26 - Listener Emails

    Hormone therapy benefits include energy, sleep, overall health, and balanced estrogen, testosterone, progesterone Promo offer 100 off evaluation through MyEternalVitality with podcast mention Ghosting in jobs and relationships as avoidance of hard conversations Ghosting framed as self protection and discomfort avoidance Short term ease of ghosting vs long term lack of growth Ghosting causes psychological harm without closure Simple respectful breakup communication is healthier Practice difficult conversations to build resilience The Cost of Quiet concept in relationships Complaining about partners as common bonding behavior Difference between joking complaints and disrespect Complaining erodes trust and respect over time Triangulating by venting to others instead of partner Avoiding direct communication prevents resolution Emotional release reinforces complaining habit Possible addiction to complaining from emotional feedback Seeking validation replaces solving problems Group venting creates bias and one sided narratives Occasional support vs habitual partner bashing Protect relationship by addressing issues directly Maintain a strong couple bubble instead of public criticism Speaking positively about partner builds respect Public complaints damage emotional safety Avoiding hard conversations is a core issue Social media encourages oversharing relationship issues Illusion of privacy leads to saying more than intended Venting online replaces real problem solving Lack of communication skills drives online venting Cultural stigma around emotions contributes to avoidance Internet offers easy emotional release without resolution Communication skills improve relationship outcomes How a conversation starts affects its outcome Negative online content gains traction by attacking groups Listener email about emotional neglect of men during miscarriage Men expected to be strong and overlook their own grief Feeling unseen and unsupported after shared loss Male emotions often minimized leading to suppression Lack of validation leads to isolation and silence Difficulty expressing vulnerability after being ignored Miscarriage impact on fathers often overlooked People miss emotional cues or respond poorly Negative emotions outweigh positive perception Importance of one trusted person or therapist Therapy as reliable emotional outlet Friends may care but lack emotional skills Emotional talks make people uncomfortable Not everyone is safe for vulnerability Be direct when asking for support Suppressed emotions lead to anxiety and depression Therapy helps organize thoughts before conversations Avoid using friends as emotional dumping grounds Professionals provide healthier processing outlet Process emotions before communicating effectively Organized communication improves understanding Shared hobbies discussed as bonding tool Couples with shared hobbies seen as appealing Shared hobbies not required for success Separate interests can still support happy relationships Consider shared interests when dating if important Social media exaggerates shared hobby importance Attraction to different interests is normal Showing interest in partner hobbies builds connection Asking questions shows care and support Effort matters more than genuine enthusiasm Small efforts create emotional bonding Participate occasionally without full commitment Avoid over involvement that harms partner enjoyment Communicate boundaries around hobbies Balance individual and shared activities One shared activity can help connection Do not force participation without interest Partial participation is reasonable Listening to partner interests shows care Supporting partner projects builds connection Effort framed as love not obligation Offer help without taking control Ask how to help instead of assuming Mansplaining identified as frustrating behavior Over explaining can undermine partner Light humor about daily annoyances and household habits Promotion of relationship book on communication Mention of relationship focused podcast as resource ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    45 min
  6. LTN 25 - Reality TV Relationships

    MAR 26

    LTN 25 - Reality TV Relationships

    Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    43 min
  7. LTN 24 - Limited Bandwidth

    MAR 19

    LTN 24 - Limited Bandwidth

    Sponsor promo for MyEternalVitality.com and Dr Powers offering $100 off hormone evaluation and blood testing Discussion of hormone replacement therapy improving energy, libido, sleep, and overall quality of life Mention of gut health testing and identifying foods that trigger inflammation Dan plans to begin a gut health regimen after recovering from hip surgery Introduction to the Love Thy Neighbor relationship show with Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr Conversation about manners and Dan's Southern upbringing expecting men to let women enter first Invitation for listeners to email relationship questions to hello@lovethyneighborshow.com Hosts promise listener submissions will remain anonymous Listener email about tension caused by a spouse frequently expressing negative daily commentary Husband describes himself as an optimistic personality who assumes everything is fine Wife framed as focusing more on frustrations and problems in everyday situations Husband feels drained and anxious hearing frequent negative comments Husband internalizes his wife's venting as problems he must solve Wife explains she wants to express feelings rather than have problems fixed Husband tracked a week of conversations and estimated 68 percent were negative Wife responds that keeping score of comments is unreasonable Listener couple has been together for 26 years Therapist explains both partners can have valid perspectives simultaneously Couples often argue about wording or evidence instead of emotional impact Explanation that negativity bias is natural in the human brain as a survival trait Advice to communicate about emotional bandwidth before venting Suggestion to ask if the other partner has space to listen first Importance of balancing one partner's need to vent with the other's mental energy Emphasis that neither partner is wrong but communication boundaries are needed Joke about rounding the negativity percentage to 69 percent for comedy Discussion of switching between problem solving mode and listening mode in conversations Turning off the urge to solve problems can reduce emotional exhaustion while listening Some people naturally internalize others' emotions more strongly than others Upbringing and family roles can influence a person's urge to fix problems Spouses sometimes look overwhelmed while waiting for venting to end Reminder that partners are not responsible for solving every emotional problem Some people process emotions externally and need to talk things out Both partners' emotional needs and limits matter in conversations Emotions can be contagious and repeated negativity can affect listeners Partners can set boundaries when they lack energy to listen Joke about hiring someone else to listen to venting like a therapist Spouses can unintentionally become each other's emotional dumping ground Listening deeply requires more emotional energy than talking Importance of balancing emotional sharing to avoid overwhelming a partner Example of business owners venting work stress to spouses Suggestion to share general stress instead of long detailed rants Partners may feel overwhelmed hearing repeated work complaints Strategy of postponing discussions until both partners have energy Empathic people may absorb others' stress strongly Mirror neuron responses can cause emotional absorption from others Therapists learn emotional boundaries to avoid carrying clients' problems home Advice to remind yourself another person's problems are not yours to carry Encouragement to communicate personal limits without guilt Setting boundaries may disappoint someone but is still healthy Failure to set boundaries can lead to codependency and resentment Difficult conversations often start when partners are tired or hungry Hangry moods can make emotional discussions worse Advice to avoid serious talks when tired, drunk, or texting Emotional conversations require tone and context that texting lacks Warning that waiting for the perfect moment can become avoidance Communication compared to ping pong where partners check timing and reschedule Relationship communication improves through repeated practice like building muscle Start practicing vulnerability with small issues first Focus on expressing personal feelings rather than attacking a partner Positive responses reinforce healthy communication habits New listener email asks what personal information should be disclosed when dating Discussion about timing and context for revealing sensitive personal information Sexually transmitted diseases must be disclosed before physical intimacy STD discussion on a first date may not be necessary unless sex is involved Serious legal issues like domestic violence should be disclosed early Major life factors like children or divorce should be shared early Honesty about personal issues builds trust and emotional safety in dating Strategy of revealing flaws early so partners can choose whether to continue Around the third date suggested as a time for deeper personal disclosure Warning against trauma dumping too early while dating Example discussion about dating while still legally married but separated People have different boundaries about dating someone still married Early honesty may cause rejection but prevents bigger problems later Example of a background check revealing a criminal charge before a date Withholding important information can damage trust later Discussion of whether to keep dating someone with a troubling background check Explaining past legal issues may change how someone interprets them Humor about excuses for criminal charges like public urination Promotion of Colette Fehr's book The Cost of Quiet and its audiobook narration Colette exits the show segment while traveling for her book tour Hosts joke they are less qualified to give advice without the therapist Self deprecating humor about giving bad relationship advice Explanation that the radio version must fill a fixed time slot Hosts continue reading listener emails without the therapist present Reflection that the hosts feel they have learned little after months of the show Discussion about the ups and downs of long term marriage Example of one host staying upset for weeks after a conflict Joke about blaming a spouse rather than oneself during relationship issues Contrast between blaming oneself in business and blaming a partner at home Reflection that personal behavior patterns may not support healthy relationships Story about a friend blaming his partner during a relationship conflict Confronting a partner rarely improves relationship problems Hosts discuss learning small relationship lessons from Colette's advice Recognizing unhealthy patterns in others as personal progress Strategy of ending arguments early when discussions turn negative Admission of previously repeating points in circular arguments Effort to reduce repetitive arguing and escalation Encouragement for listeners to reflect on whether the show helps their relationships Relationship improvement compared to gradual progress from consistent habits Reminder that listener emails remain anonymous Listener question about how much planning is needed for a good date night Discussion about balancing preparation versus spontaneity in dating Suggestion that the listener may be overthinking date planning Many great dates happen spontaneously rather than through strict plans Couples can enjoy unplanned adventures together Difference between loose adventure planning and traditional date nights Pressure to plan elaborate or spectacular dates in relationships Running joke about planning a dinner with Shamu date Story about failed planning leading to fallback dates like Chili's Humor and the right partner can make simple dates enjoyable First dates should remain casual rather than extravagant Elaborate first dates can create awkward pressure Choose comfortable low pressure locations for early dates Avoid spending large amounts of money on a first date Obsessing over a perfect date can lead to disappointment Unrealistic expectations can ruin enjoyment during a date Maintain a positive attitude and focus on having fun together Casual activity dates like Hooters or theme park outings discussed Activities with distractions can help dates feel relaxed Self criticism can ruin otherwise enjoyable dates Hosts share personal experiences of overthinking dates Story about celebrating an anniversary at the Enzian theater patio Familiar places and shared memories often create meaningful dates Comfortable environments can produce the best relationship moments Acknowledgment that the therapist would likely give better advice Invitation for listeners to email relationship questions Reminder that listener emails are handled anonymously Encouragement for listeners to rate and review the podcast online ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/ Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/ Exclusive Content htt

    43 min
  8. LTN 23 - Vulnerability

    MAR 12

    LTN 23 - Vulnerability

    Introduction to the Love Thy Neighbor relationship show with Dan Dennis, Tom Vann, and Colette Fehr Breaking news discussion about Britney Spears reportedly being arrested for DUI Lack of confirmed details about the Britney Spears arrest including no mugshot or BAC yet Discussion of Britney Spears conservatorship and whether it was helpful or harmful Speculation that Britney Spears may still struggle without the structure of the conservatorship Therapist warning against diagnosing celebrities based on social media clips Discussion of the mental health impact of becoming extremely famous at a young age Idea that some celebrities emotionally freeze at the age they become famous Example of Bam Margera appearing stuck in adolescent behavior Discussion of how people can remain trapped in youthful personality patterns Colette playfully challenging Tom and Dan during the show Joke that listener ratings increase when Colette pushes back on the hosts Story about feeling out of place at Colette book launch event Event attendees praising Tom and Dan for humor and vulnerability Story about a dance mom praising Dan honesty about bedroom struggles Tom reflecting on how he behaves differently as a father versus on the show Realization that humor and playfulness bond better with kids than strict discipline Comparison between drill sergeant dad and fun dad parenting styles Reference to Shaquille O Neal strict stepfather as an example of tough parenting Discussion of balancing discipline work ethic and fun in parenting Colette describing her father as both serious and fun Dan remembering his father as extremely funny and valuing those memories Emphasis on humor as a powerful bonding tool between parents and children Discussion of fathers modeling both strength and emotional openness Colette explaining vulnerability as a core principle of healthy relationships Discussion of her book The Cost of Quiet and its ideas about honesty and openness Explanation that past trauma often makes people emotionally guarded Argument that authentic communication is natural human behavior Claim that practicing vulnerability improves life satisfaction and relationships Discussion of struggling to be vulnerable with family despite doing it on the show Recognition that practicing vulnerability publicly is still meaningful progress Explanation that some people avoid vulnerability due to unsafe childhood environments Discussion of cultural expectations that men should be strong and silent Debate over the claim that women punish men for vulnerability Therapist perspective that partners usually respond positively to real vulnerability Idea that vulnerability often creates emotional closeness in relationships Explanation that humans are social herd animals wired for connection Research claim that strong relationships predict long happy lives Discussion of the paradox of wanting connection while fearing rejection Fear of judgment arguments rejection or abandonment blocking emotional openness Idea that vulnerability invites vulnerability from others Analogy comparing emotional growth to iron sharpens iron Argument that emotional armor creates distance in relationships Introduction of Shaquille O Neal comments about never opening up to women Shaq claim that vulnerability is a trap that can be used against men Discussion of Shaq belief that women weaponize men emotions during conflict Background about Shaq biological father leaving and strict stepfather raising him Discussion of generational differences in emotional communication among men Observation that older generations of men rarely talked about feelings Personal examples of families where men never discussed emotions Debate over whether emotional silence among men is typical Explanation that emotional suppression has been historically common Discussion of what opening up emotionally actually means Examples of men admitting fear sadness or insecurity Observation that some men are naturally more emotionally expressive Therapist noting many male clients share fears about vulnerability Explanation that men often hide doubts and insecurities to avoid appearing weak Common fear that vulnerability will be weaponized later in arguments Idea that past betrayal or trauma shapes vulnerability fears Example of past infidelity affecting trust in later relationships Warning against projecting past trauma onto new partners Discussion of how upbringing shapes emotional defenses Speculation that Shaq fame and life experiences reinforced emotional guardedness Humorous aside about Shaq and his former wife height difference Discussion of emotional sharing as a core function of adult partnerships Example of business partners sharing fears and stress to support each other Claim that suppressing emotions cuts people off from relationship support Therapist explanation that fear of vulnerability is central in couples therapy Explanation of limbic system response making rejection feel devastating Concept of corrective emotional experiences retraining the brain to trust Argument that avoiding vulnerability isolates people from connection Discussion of many people behaving similarly to Shaq emotionally Praise for practicing emotional openness within partnerships Idea that strong relationships improve overall quality of life Discussion of research linking relationships to longer lifespan Reference to Harvard Study of Adult Development on connection and longevity Claim that emotional isolation increases illness and early death risk Comparison between emotional growth and physical training Advice to start vulnerability with small emotional disclosures Personal example involving misophonia and sound sensitivity Explanation of irritation triggered by specific eating or scraping noises Strategy of framing triggers as personal struggles rather than blaming a partner Story about overreacting to loud scraping noises from a glass bowl Realization that anger in small conflicts often masks hurt feelings Example of deeper hurt feeling ignored or not listened to Discussion of repairing conflict after reacting badly in the moment Advice to start hard conversations by affirming the importance of the relationship Strategy of explaining feedback comes from wanting closeness Recommendation to apologize cleanly without excuses or buts Suggestion to ask permission to revisit issues later Advice to keep repair conversations short and manageable Distinction between sharing feelings and criticizing a partner Explanation that accusations trigger defensive survival responses Idea that naming hurt beneath anger creates connection Difference between saying you do not care and saying I feel like you do not care Concept of the negative partner story shaping relationship perception Explanation that personal history and triggers shape these stories Warning that small unresolved hurts make negative stories feel real Discussion of resentment building when problems go unspoken Benefit of focusing on personal feelings rather than judging a partner Principle of not owning other people reactions to respectful communication Emotional maturity defined as tolerating another person upset response Acknowledgment that kind feedback may still trigger defensiveness Suggestion to address patterns of repeated defensive reactions Recognition that some people struggle to hear feedback due to lack of personal work Assertion that people still deserve to express what bothers them Claim that suppressing problems is more damaging than discussing them Warning that avoided issues harm emotional and physical health Episode wrap up promoting Colette Fehr book The Cost of Quiet Mention of the audiobook version narrated by Colette Hosts discussing listening to the audiobook during busy schedules Light joking about one host having more free time than the other Explanation that the book focuses on simple actionable communication strategies Emphasis that the book includes relatable real life relationship examples Tease for a future episode focused on listener relationship emails

    42 min
See All (31)

5
out of 5
179 Ratings

About

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

Information

  • Creator
    Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    31
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Love Thy Neighbor Show

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