Masks Off: Inner Freedom For People-Pleasers and Perfectionists

Kim Gross
  • 4.9 (34)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
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A podcast for people pleasers and perfectionists ready to drop the masks. Kim Gross shares simple tools to calm the inner critic, set boundaries, and live with confidence, clarity, and inner freedom. www.kimgrosscoaching.com

  1. 2D AGO

    Your Feelings Aren’t the Problem—This Is

    You’re not overwhelmed by your emotions… you’re overwhelmed by the story you’re telling about them. In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, Kim breaks down why overthinking your feelings is actually what keeps you stuck—and how to shift out of the spiral. If you’ve ever found yourself asking: “Why do I feel like this?” “What does this mean?” “How do I fix this?” This episode will help you understand why those questions might be the very thing dysregulating your nervous system. You’ll learn: The difference between feeling your emotions vs. thinking about them How your Inner Controller creates emotional overwhelm Why storytelling amplifies anxiety instead of resolving it A simple, powerful shift: name it, don’t narrate it A 3-step reset to move out of your head and back into your body This isn’t about fixing your emotions. It’s about learning how to be with them—without the story. If you’re ready to feel without spiraling, this episode is for you. 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php

    21 min

  2. APR 2

    Why You Feel Numb (And It’s Not What You Think)

    If you feel nothing lately… this is why. In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, we begin what I’m calling The Feeling Era—because before you can heal, grow, or change your patterns… you have to be able to feel. If you’ve been feeling emotionally numb, disconnected, or like you’re just going through the motions, you are not broken. Your nervous system is protecting you. In this episode, I break down why emotional numbness happens—especially for people who grew up in chaotic, dysfunctional, or emotionally unsafe environments—and how your Inner Controller learned to keep you safe by keeping you busy, productive, and disconnected from your emotions. But here’s the truth: When you numb pain, you also numb joy. And there is a way to start feeling again—safely. Why emotional numbness is a protective response (not a flaw) How people pleasing and over-functioning disconnect you from your body The role of your Inner Controller in avoiding emotional overwhelm Signs you may be numbing without realizing it Simple, body-based steps to start feeling your emotions safely This is your invitation to stop overriding yourself… and start coming home to yourself. 📖 Mentioned in this episode: Free to Be: A Pathway to Inner Liberation 🎧 Make sure to follow Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists so you don’t miss next week’s episode, where we go deeper into emotional awareness and healing. 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php In this episode, you’ll learn:

    28 min

  3. MAR 26

    You Know You Need Boundaries...So Why Can't You Set Them?

    Why is it so hard to say no… even when you know you need to? In this episode of Masks Off, Kim is joined by returning guest Ashley Bendiksen—healthy relationships educator, youth speaker, and trauma-resilience advocate—to explore why boundary-setting feels so difficult, especially for young adults. Together, they unpack how early conditioning, fear of rejection, people-pleasing, and nervous system responses like freezing and fawning can make even the simplest boundary feel impossible. This conversation goes beyond surface-level advice and gets to the root: emotional safety. You’ll hear real-life examples from friendships, dating, family, and work—and learn how to start setting boundaries in small, doable ways without overwhelming yourself. They also explore the deeper truth: that true confidence in setting boundaries comes from healing the parts of you that learned it wasn’t safe to have them. Key Takeaways: It’s not a skill issue—it’s a safety issue Why you can know what to say and still not say it The role of the “inner controller” in avoiding conflict How to start with micro-boundaries Why discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php About Ashley: ASHLEY BENDIKSEN is an acclaimed national speaker, award-winning activist, and subject matter expert in domestic violence, sexual assault, relational health, early intervention, and trauma resilience. Year-round, she speaks to and trains diverse audiences — from students and youth-serving professionals to law enforcement, victim advocates, corporate leaders, and workplace safety teams. Ashley’s lived experience is complemented by extensive field experience spanning the criminal justice system, victim services, violence prevention and response, policy, and advocacy. She is also a Certified Trauma and Resilience Specialist in Education, with expanded training and certifications in victim advocacy, crisis response, trauma-informed practices, adverse childhood experiences, cognitive behavioral therapy, and supporting BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ populations. A passionate activist, Ashley has spearheaded numerous advocacy initiatives, held leadership roles on several boards of directors, and currently serves as her state’s sole advisor to the National Office for Victim Assistance. She is also the founder of a global storytelling platform for survivors and is the author of  A Kids Book About Boundaries. Connect with Ashley:Website: www.ashleybendiksen.comSchool Inquiries: https://topyouthspeakers.com/speakers-topics/ashley-bendiksenEmail: ashley@ashleybendiksen.comLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/ashleybendiksenInstagram: www.instagram.com/ashleybendiksenFacebook: www.facebook/com/ashleybendiksenhttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/813678/a-kids-book-about-boundaries-by-ashley-bendiksen/

    51 min

  4. MAR 19

    Why You Can’t Relax (Even When You Finally Have Time)

    Why does rest feel so uncomfortable—even when you know you need it? In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People-Pleasers & Perfectionists, Kim Gross explores the internal pressure that keeps so many of us stuck in constant motion: the “I have to” voice. She introduces the concept of the inner controller—a protective part formed in earlier experiences where control equaled safety. While this pattern may have once helped you navigate uncertainty or chaos, it can now show up as urgency, perfectionism, over-functioning, and an inability to slow down. Kim connects this pattern to nervous system survival responses (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn), explaining why rest can feel unsafe even when your body is exhausted. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why your mind resists rest How the inner controller drives “I have to” thinking The connection between control and safety How burnout is reinforced through these patterns Practical ways to shift into “I choose to” Tools to regulate your nervous system and create more ease This episode invites you to begin noticing where this pressure shows up in your life—and how to relate to it with more awareness, compassion, and choice.

    39 min

  5. MAR 12

    Toxic Productivity: When Hustle Becomes Self-Abandonment

    Toxic Productivity: When Hustle Is a Mask for Fear Many of us have learned to equate productivity with worth. But what happens when the drive to achieve becomes a way of avoiding how we really feel? In this episode of Masks Off, Kim Gross explores the pattern of toxic productivity — the constant pressure to stay busy, prove your value, and keep moving so you never have to slow down. She breaks down common signs of fear-driven productivity, including guilt around rest, chronic urgency, over-functioning in relationships, and the feeling of never doing enough. Kim also explores the deeper roots of these patterns, including childhood roles like being the responsible one or the family “superhero,” and how the nervous system can learn to interpret stillness as unsafe. You’ll learn the difference between healthy productivity and compulsive achievement, and why slowing down can be one of the most powerful acts of self-reconnection. The episode ends with a short grounding meditation designed to help you reconnect with presence and safety in stillness. If you’ve ever felt like rest has to be earned, this conversation will challenge that belief. 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php

    28 min

  6. MAR 5

    Burnout isn’t a productivity failure. It’s a boundary you didn’t set.

    In this episode, I open March’s Burnout Breakdown series by reframing burnout as your body enforcing limits after too many micro-yeses, too much emotional labor, and too much self-override. We talk about: The real signs of burnout (irritability, numbness, scrolling, brain fog, jaw tension, migraines, gut issues, inflammation, loss of joy) The pattern of over-functioning and being “low maintenance” How emotional labor quietly drains your nervous system Why your body moves from whisper to protest to shutdown What it means to stop overriding exhaustion I also guide you through a short breathing-based relaxation meditation and share how we’ll be incorporating weekly nervous system support throughout March. If you’re high-functioning but secretly exhausted, this episode will help you spot the signs and stop abandoning yourself in the name of productivity. Welcome to the Masks Off Movement. 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php

    35 min

  7. FEB 26

    How to Say No Without the Guilt Hangover

    If you’re the default planner, reminder, emotional regulator, and peacekeeper in your relationship — this episode is for you. We’re unpacking the invisible mental load and how it slowly turns into over-functioning, resentment, and the “guilt hangover” that follows boundary setting. Joined by therapist Dr. Gloria King, we explore how this pattern intensifies in neurodiverse relationships, where executive functioning differences may push one partner into the manager role — often without either person realizing how it happened. This conversation covers: • The unseen “second shift” many women carry• How people-pleasing and perfectionism fuel over-functioning• Childhood conditioning around being “good”• Religious messaging about self-sacrifice• Why guilt doesn’t mean your boundary is wrong• How to expect (and handle) pushback• Building tolerance for discomfort like a muscle• When to pause conversations for safety• Why listening to your gut matters Dr. King works with adults 21+ in individual and couples therapy, including neurodiverse couples, people-pleasing, menopause transitions, infidelity recovery, and women’s issues. The core message of this episode: You matter.Fear and guilt do not automatically mean you’re wrong.And self-love includes valuing your needs without calling it selfish. If this resonates, share it with someone who needs permission to stop carrying it all. And remember: Caring doesn’t require disappearing.That’s the Masks Off Movement. About Dr. Gloria: I'm an extroverted introvert, lol and I love saying that as I used to be so shy. I'm originally from Puerto Rico and have lived in FL since I was 8 years old. I'm married and my husband and I are both huge dog lovers and have had dogs in the office with us for quite sometime now. I love time with friends and family, murder mystery shows, and laughing out loud. I'm fascinated by what makes people tick and love being a part of clients' life journeys. I''m dually licensed as a mental health counselor and marriage and family therapist and obtained my doctorate in 2005. I've been a therapist for almost 30 years and in private practice since 2008. My specialties include women's issues including people pleasing, couples work with infidelity and intimate betrayal trauma, and neurodiverse individual and couples counseling. Connect with Dr. Gloria:  www.drgloriariveraking.com,  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61571809726617, Instagram: @ drgloria_ 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php

    52 min

  8. FEB 19

    Do you feel like you disappear in dating, friendships, or at work?

    In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, Kim Gross explores how self-abandonment, over-adapting, shapeshifting, over-functioning, hyper-responsibility, and hypervigilance become survival strategies to stay connected. In dating, it can look like hiding your needs, chasing “being chosen,” or ignoring red flags.At work, it may show up as over-performing, struggling to say no, and tying your worth to productivity.In friendships, it often appears as being the strong one — the therapist friend who rarely shares her own struggles. Kim shares personal stories, including how presenting as “low maintenance” early in her marriage led to deeper insecurity and approval-seeking later, and how an autoimmune diagnosis exposed her attachment to productivity and worth. This episode reframes these behaviors not as flaws, but as nervous system strategies rooted in fear of rejection, abandonment, and being seen as “too much.” You’ll walk away with reflection questions, a practical “take up 5% more space” weekly challenge, and an introduction to Kim’s 5-Step Power Pathway for healing self-abandonment. The goal isn’t to stop caring.It’s to stop disappearing. 👉 Connect with Kim: 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php

    35 min
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4.9
out of 5
34 Ratings

About

A podcast for people pleasers and perfectionists ready to drop the masks. Kim Gross shares simple tools to calm the inner critic, set boundaries, and live with confidence, clarity, and inner freedom. www.kimgrosscoaching.com

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