Masks Off: Inner Freedom For People-Pleasers and Perfectionists

Kim Gross
  • 4.9 (34)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

A podcast for people pleasers and perfectionists ready to drop the masks. Kim Gross shares simple tools to calm the inner critic, set boundaries, and live with confidence, clarity, and inner freedom. www.kimgrosscoaching.com

  1. 3d ago

    You're Not a Problem to Fix

    In this final episode of Inner Child Month and the six-year anniversary month of Masks Off, Kim Gross welcomes somatic practitioner Lori Montry, creator of the Freedom Framework and author of You Are Not the Problem. Kim and Lori explore people-pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, control, shutdown, emotional eating, and hypervigilance as intelligent nervous system adaptations — not proof that something is wrong with you. Lori shares her personal story of overwhelm, sexual abuse, high achievement, and learning to work with both the mind and nervous system for sustainable healing. Kim also shares how a childhood choking incident shaped her health-related panic and how she now uses inner-child reassurance and body-based support to calm her system. Together, they discuss why familiar patterns can feel safe, how to access the “sacred self,” why internal safety matters more than external validation, and how five daily nervous system check-ins can help you begin building trust with yourself. This episode is a powerful reminder that you are not broken. Your patterns make sense. And healing begins when you stop fighting yourself and start creating safety within. Connect with Kim: 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php About Lori:  Today’s guest is Lori Montry, a somatic practitioner and creator of the Freedom Framework. Lori’s work begins with a simple but powerful premise: you’re not the problem. The patterns you struggle with are intelligent adaptations shaped by stress, overwhelm, and experience. When you understand what is driving them, you can stop fighting yourself and start creating meaningful progress toward what matters to you. Through the Freedom Framework, people move from survival mode and burnout into what Lori calls the Expansive Self — steady, clear, self-trusting, and capable of meaningful progress without constant strain. She is the author of You’re Not the Problem and helps people understand themselves through a nervous system lens, so growth becomes sustainable rather than exhausting. Connect with Lori:  Get the free Introduction to You’re Not the Problem: https://www.lorimontry.com/book-intro Website: www.LoriMontry.com  Youtube: Lori Montry -Somatic Healing Practitioner - YouTube Facebook:  You're Not the Problem! | Facebook Instagram: Instagram

    52 min

  2. May 21

    You Can’t Shame Yourself Into Healing

    You can’t shame or force yourself into healing—especially if you learned to criticize yourself before you learned to comfort yourself. In this episode, Kim Gross continues Inner Child Month by exploring what it really means to reparent your inner child as a people-pleaser or perfectionist. Building on previous episodes about perfectionism as protection and inherited approval scripts, Kim explains reparenting as becoming the safe, loving, grounded adult your younger self needed. She shares a three-part framework for reparenting: safety, soothing, and structure. Safety means learning to stop self-abandonment and self-attack. Soothing means being present with emotions instead of numbing, fixing, or controlling. Structure means creating loving boundaries, routines, rest, and values-based decisions. Kim also shares a personal example from a kitchen renovation, where her inner controller showed up through overwhelm and pressure, and how she practiced compassionate self-soothing instead. She closes with a simple exercise to use when triggered and clarifies what reparenting is—and what it is not. This episode is for anyone learning to stop abandoning themselves for approval and begin becoming emotionally safe within themselves. Mentioned in this episode: Free to Be: A Pathway to Inner Liberation by Kim Gross. 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php

    51 min

  3. May 14

    Why You Keep Chasing Approval — And How to Rewrite the Script

    What if your people-pleasing and perfectionism are not who you are — but approval scripts you learned in childhood? In this episode, Kim Gross celebrates six years of the Masks Off podcast during Inner Child Month and explores the unconscious rules many of us learned about how to be loved, safe, and accepted. These approval scripts can sound like: don’t upset anyone, be good, get it right, blend in, and make sure everyone else is okay. Kim shares how achievement and external validation reinforced her own “good girl” identity, and how these scripts can show up today through saying yes when you mean no, overthinking conversations, avoiding conflict, struggling with boundaries, and feeling responsible for other people’s emotions. She also explains how the Inner Controller tries to protect you from rejection, criticism, and disconnection by keeping you in control and constantly monitoring everyone around you. Using a personal example from a family trip for her daughter’s master’s graduation, Kim walks listeners through how old scripts get activated and how to begin rewriting them with awareness, compassion, and small shifts. This episode is an invitation to stop living by the old rules and begin creating a new way of being — one rooted in truth, freedom, and self-worth. 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php

    27 min

  4. May 7

    You’re Not “Just This Way”—The Truth About Perfectionism & Control

    Perfectionism isn’t who you are—it’s who you became to feel safe. In this opening episode of Inner Child Month, Kim shares how her perfectionism and people-pleasing weren’t personality traits, but protective adaptations formed in childhood. She introduces the concept of the inner child and explains how unmet needs around love, safety, and worth shape the patterns we still carry today. Through personal stories—including a pivotal moment at age 10—Kim unpacks how the drive for validation, fear of rejection, and need for control are all rooted in protection. She also introduces the “Inner Controller” and how it creates a false sense of safety through hypervigilance, including how it shows up as health anxiety. This episode is about understanding—not fixing—your patterns. Because awareness is where freedom begins. 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php

    24 min

  5. Apr 30

    Why Peace and Pain Can Exist at the Same Time

    If you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected, this episode explores a powerful truth: healing doesn’t come from avoiding your feelings—it comes from allowing them. Kim welcomes grief guide Marie Crews to discuss how grief extends far beyond loss through death. From identity shifts to unmet dreams, grief shows up in ways many people don’t recognize—and often try to suppress. Together, they explore the Inner Controller and how it keeps people stuck in cycles of avoidance, productivity, and emotional disconnection. They also discuss how unprocessed grief lives in the body and how creating safety to feel is the key to true healing. Marie shares her Nautilus Way journaling method as a practical tool to process emotions, rewire beliefs, and move toward peace. This episode is a powerful reminder that peace and pain can coexist—and that feeling is the pathway to freedom. 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php Marie Crews is a certified grief guide, life coach, speaker, retreat facilitator, and bestselling author who has helped women step into their power for over 15 years.After turning personal adversity, including the sudden loss of her son and mother, into a path of resilience, she now guides women in learning how peace and joy can coexist with even the deepest grief.Through her signature journaling method, The Nautilus Way, Marie helps women identify and rewire limiting beliefs so they can access clarity, confidence, and emotional freedom in the face of life’s biggest challenges.Through 1:1 coaching, group programs, and transformational retreats hosted at her Gulf-front home, she empowers women to embrace their worth and live with intention, peace and purpose. https://www.mariecrews.comhttps://www.facebook.com/marieeurecrews https://www.tiktok.com/@empowermentandgriefguidehttps://www.instagram.com/mariecrewsempowers

    54 min

  6. Apr 23

    You’re Not Powerless- You’re Avoiding This One Thing

    If you’ve ever felt stuck, resentful, or powerless in your life… this episode is going to challenge you—in the best way. In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, I’m talking about one of the most misunderstood concepts in personal growth: ownership. And let me be clear—ownership is NOT self-blame. It’s not about shaming yourself. It’s not about taking responsibility for what others did to you. It’s about reclaiming your power. I share how staying in victimhood once kept me stuck—especially in my marriage—and how learning to take ownership of my part changed everything. We’ll talk about: The difference between victimhood vs. empowerment Why blaming others keeps you stuck (even when they are wrong) How your Inner Controller uses blame to protect you A real-life example of how I shifted from reactivity to awareness The powerful question that can change everything: “What’s mine?” Why self-compassion is essential when taking ownership This is the work that leads to true inner freedom. 🎧 Listen now and start stepping out of victimhood and into your power. If this episode resonates, this is exactly what I walk you through in my book, 📖 Free to Be: A Pathway to Inner Liberation Inside, I share my personal journey of moving out of blame and into responsibility—and how that shift creates lasting freedom. ✨ This episode directly connects to the “O” in my POWER Pathway: Ownership—one of the most transformative steps in healing. 👉 Grab your copy 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php

    28 min

  7. Apr 16

    Have you ever found yourself crying in your car… wondering what is wrong with you?

    Have you ever found yourself crying in your car… wondering what is wrong with you? Nothing is wrong with you. In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers & Perfectionists, we’re talking about the moments you usually hide—the tears, the overwhelm, the emotional release that seems to come out of nowhere. But what if those moments aren’t breakdowns? What if they’re your body finally feeling safe enough to release what you’ve been holding in for years? Inside this episode, I break down: Why emotional release often shows up when you finally slow down How your Inner Controller has been suppressing your feelings Why crying is not weakness—it’s regulation How to let yourself feel without spiraling or shutting down This is your permission slip to be human. 🎧 Listen now and learn how to feel… so you can finally be free. P.S. If this episode hit you, it’s because you’re starting to feel—and that’s exactly where real freedom begins. In my book Free to Be: A Pathway to Inner Liberation, I walk you step-by-step through how to safely feel your emotions without getting overwhelmed—especially if you’ve spent a lifetime pushing them down. Because feeling your emotions isn’t the problem… It’s the path. 👉 Grab your copy and start your journey to inner freedom. 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php

    29 min

  8. Apr 9

    Your Feelings Aren’t the Problem—This Is

    You’re not overwhelmed by your emotions… you’re overwhelmed by the story you’re telling about them. In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, Kim breaks down why overthinking your feelings is actually what keeps you stuck—and how to shift out of the spiral. If you’ve ever found yourself asking: “Why do I feel like this?” “What does this mean?” “How do I fix this?” This episode will help you understand why those questions might be the very thing dysregulating your nervous system. You’ll learn: The difference between feeling your emotions vs. thinking about them How your Inner Controller creates emotional overwhelm Why storytelling amplifies anxiety instead of resolving it A simple, powerful shift: name it, don’t narrate it A 3-step reset to move out of your head and back into your body This isn’t about fixing your emotions. It’s about learning how to be with them—without the story. If you’re ready to feel without spiraling, this episode is for you. 👉 Connect with Kim (the host): 👉 New Book: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/free-to-be.php 👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ 👉 Website: www.kimgrosscoaching.com 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.gross.104 👉 Facebook Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity 👉 YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q 👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg 👉 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583 👉 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/notifications/?filter=all 👉 Unmasked Newsletter: http://subscribepage.io/masksoffnewsletter 👉 People-Pleasing Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php

    21 min
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4.9
out of 5
34 Ratings

About

A podcast for people pleasers and perfectionists ready to drop the masks. Kim Gross shares simple tools to calm the inner critic, set boundaries, and live with confidence, clarity, and inner freedom. www.kimgrosscoaching.com

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