Midlife Butterfly: Stop Self-Abandoning & People Pleasing by Healing Your Nervous System — Feel Alive Again

Kena Siu
  • 5.0 (15)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Midlife Butterfly is a podcast for high-achieving midlife women who are tired of abandoning themselves just to hold everything else together. Hosted by Kena Siu, Identity & Embodiment Guide, this podcast explores emotional truth, nervous system healing, self-remembrance, feminine aliveness, and what it really means to come home to yourself after years of over-functioning, caregiving, people-pleasing, and survival mode. If you've been feeling emotionally exhausted, disconnected from yourself, overwhelmed by everyone else's needs, or unsure who you are beyond your roles and responsibilities — you are not alone. Each episode meets you where you are — in the exhaustion, the confusion, the quiet longing — and gently guides you back to yourself through nervous system awareness, embodied reflection, and deeply honest conversation. This is a space for women navigating midlife awakening, emotional burnout, identity shifts, relationship patterns, self-worth, feminine healing, and the quiet longing to finally feel alive again. You don't need to become someone new. You just need to remember who you truly are. 🔗 Connect with Kena:🦋 Instagram: @midlifebutterfly🌐 Website: midlifebutterfly.ca Much love 💜, Kena Siu

  1. 4d ago

    #73 - Reconnecting with Pleasure in Midlife: Intimacy, Shame & the Path to Feminine Aliveness with Trina Read

    Have you ever felt completely disconnected from your own body — like pleasure was something that happened to other women, not you? What if the shame you carry around sex isn't a personal failing — but a pattern you were never meant to carry in the first place? In this deeply honest conversation, I sit down with Dr. Trina Read — a women's sexual health expert with over 25 years of experience — to explore why so many high-achieving midlife women feel cut off from their own pleasure, how shame quietly runs the show in our intimate lives, and what it actually takes to come home to our bodies again. This episode is a permission slip to stop self-abandoning in the one place we most need to feel alive. 🦋 You'll Discover: Why so many high-achieving women feel disconnected from their own pleasure — and the surprising truth about where that disconnection actually startsHow shame silently shapes your sexual experiences and what it takes to break the cycle so you can finally stop abandoning yourself in intimacyThe small, embodied shifts that can completely transform how you experience your body — whether you're in a long-term relationship, navigating midlife, or rediscovering yourself on your own ✨ Where to Find Trina: Website: TrinaRead.comThe Taboo Show web page: www.trinaread.com/596436bd-6146-4371-a1b0-e85707400a54Product page with OMGYES: www.trinaread.com/productsSubstack: substack.com/@drtrinareadYouTube: www.youtube.com/@DrTrinaRead  🦋 Coming Home Question: Where in your body have you been holding back — and what would it feel like to finally give yourself permission to be fully present there? 🦋 Work With Kena If you're ready to move beyond knowing and start truly feeling it in your body — I'd love to support you. I guide high-achieving women back to who they truly are, beyond the roles, over-functioning, and patterns that have kept them disconnected from themselves.  ✨ Book your connection call: https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/connection-call-midlife-butterfly Instagram: @midlifebutterfly Website: midlifebutterfly.ca Midlife Butterfly is a podcast for high-achieving midlife women navigating emotional exhaustion, people pleasing, self-abandonment, nervous system healing, identity shifts, and midlife awakening. Hosted by Kena Siu, Identity & Embodiment Guide. Music: Back Home by Alex Productions and  Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

    1h 3m

  2. May 19

    #72 - The Slow Fade: How People-Pleasing Steals Your Identity

    You didn't lose yourself all at once. It happened one small yes at a time. In this episode, we trace it back — to the exact moment the slow fade begins, and why most women can't pinpoint when they stopped being themselves. People-pleasing isn't a bad habit or a character flaw. It's a survival response your nervous system learned a long time ago to keep you safe, loved, and accepted. And that's exactly what makes it so hard to stop. Today I'm walking you through the four layers of the slow fade — the edited self, the shrinking, the performance, and the forgetting — so you can finally name what's been quietly happening inside you, maybe for decades. We also go into what it actually costs you. Your voice. Your desires. Your self-trust. Your connection to yourself. And then, the part that matters most: what it actually takes to come home to yourself. Not a reinvention. Not a breakdown. Something quieter and more powerful — it starts with one small, honest moment of noticing. If you've ever felt like a stranger in your own life, this episode is for you. ✨ Key Topics Covered Why people-pleasing is a nervous system survival strategy, not a weaknessThe four layers of the slow fade: edited self, shrinking, performance, and forgettingHow thousands of small self-betrayals build a life that fits everyone elseThe real cost of people-pleasing: erased voice, lost desires, broken self-trustWhy midlife is often the first moment life gets quiet enough to noticeHow to begin restoring your inner signal — without a dramatic reinventionWhy guilt during change means your nervous system is recalibrating, not that you did something wrong 🦋 Listener Takeaways People-pleasing lives in the body, not the mind — you can't think your way out of a pattern that lives in your nervous systemThe slow fade happens through ordinary moments, not one big lossGuilt is not a sign you did something wrong — it's a sign you're recalibratingYou haven't lost who you are. She's been quietly waitingNoticing is where everything begins — not fixing, not reinventing. Just noticing Coming Home Reflection Question Where in your life have you been slowly fading? And what small, true part of yourself has been quietly waiting for you to come back? 🦋 Work With Kena If you're ready to move beyond knowing and start truly feeling it in your body — I'd love to support you. I guide high-achieving women back to who they truly are, beyond the roles, over-functioning, and patterns that have kept them disconnected from themselves.  ✨ Book your connection call: https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/connection-call-midlife-butterfly Instagram: @midlifebutterfly Website: midlifebutterfly.ca Midlife Butterfly is a podcast for high-achieving midlife women navigating emotional exhaustion, people pleasing, self-abandonment, nervous system healing, identity shifts, and midlife awakening. Hosted by Kena Siu, Identity & Embodiment Guide. Music: Back Home by Alex Productions and  Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

    26 min

  3. May 14

    #71 - Why High-Achieving Women Feel Exhausted from Self-Abandonment

    Many high-achieving women think they’re exhausted because they’re doing too much. But beneath the over-functioning, caregiving, people-pleasing, and constant responsibility, there’s often something deeper happening: self-abandonment. In this episode of Midlife Butterfly, Kena Siu explores the emotional exhaustion that builds when women spend years disconnecting from their own needs, emotions, desires, and truth while staying endlessly available for everyone else. This conversation dives into the hidden cost of being “the strong one,” how achievement and productivity can become emotional survival strategies, and why midlife often awakens the parts of ourselves we’ve ignored for decades. You’ll hear reflections on nervous system overwhelm, identity loss, emotional numbness, resentment, and the quiet longing many women carry to finally feel alive again. Kena also shares how embodiment, self-awareness, and emotional honesty can help women reconnect with themselves gently and safely — without needing to become someone new. If you’ve been feeling emotionally drained, disconnected from yourself, or unsure who you are beyond your roles and responsibilities, this episode offers a grounded and compassionate invitation back to yourself. Because exhaustion is not always a sign that you’re failing. Sometimes it’s the soul asking you to stop leaving yourself behind. 🎙️ Key Topics Covered Emotional exhaustion and self-abandonmentPeople-pleasing and over-functioning patternsAchievement as emotional survivalNervous system overload in midlife womenIdentity loss beneath caregiving rolesMidlife awakening and self-remembranceEmbodiment and reconnecting with the selfLearning to stop overriding your needs ✨ Listener Takeaways Self-abandonment can look highly capable and successfulEmotional exhaustion often carries deeper truth and unmet needsMidlife can become a powerful season of identity reclamationYour nervous system responds to how often you override yourselfComing home to yourself happens through small moments of honesty and awareness 🦋 Coming Home Reflection Question Where in your life have you become emotionally absent from yourself? 🦋 Work With Kena If you're ready to move beyond knowing and start truly feeling it in your body — I'd love to support you. I guide high-achieving women back to who they truly are, beyond the roles, over-functioning, and patterns that have kept them disconnected from themselves.  ✨ Book your connection call: https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/connection-call-midlife-butterfly Instagram: @midlifebutterfly Website: midlifebutterfly.ca Midlife Butterfly is a podcast for high-achieving midlife women navigating emotional exhaustion, people pleasing, self-abandonment, nervous system healing, identity shifts, and midlife awakening. Hosted by Kena Siu, Identity & Embodiment Guide. Music: Back Home by Alex Productions and  Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

    27 min

  4. May 5

    #70 - The Real Reason You Reach for Food — And What Your Body Knows

    What if the moment you reach for food isn't about hunger at all — but a quiet cry from a part of you that's never been fully met? In this soul-opening conversation, Kena sits down with Lizzie Merritt — certified life coach, bestselling author, and former science teacher — to unpack what's really happening when you eat emotionally. Spoiler: it's not weakness. It's your nervous system trying to keep you safe. Lizzie shares her own turning point — a 2 AM wake-up call in Guam, drowning in shame and goldfish crackers — and how understanding her brain changed everything. Together, Kena and Lizzie weave brain science with radical self-compassion to help you decode the signals beneath the snack. This episode is your invitation to stop fighting your body and start getting curious about what it's telling you. By the end, you'll walk away with a new framework, practical tools, and — most importantly — a deeper sense of trust in yourself. ✨ In This Episode You'll Learn Why emotional eating isn't a character flaw — it's your nervous system asking for safetyHow the "iceberg" beneath your food habits reveals what diets never addressWhat happens when you pause and ask why you want the cookie instead of reaching for itThe truth about the "dieter" identity — and how shifting to a chooser mindset changes everythingHow to use three powerful steps (regulate, feel, investigate) to break the cycle with compassion🦋 Reflection Questions When the house gets quiet and you reach for something to eat, what feeling are you actually trying to soften — and what would it mean to let yourself feel it instead?What old rules about food, your body, or worthiness were handed to you by someone else — and are those the rules you want to keep living by?If your body were communicating love to you right now, what would it be saying — and how might you begin to receive it?✨ Where to Find Lizzie Website: www.confidentbody.coach The Confident Body Podcast: https://confidentbody.coach/podcast IG: @coachlizzie.merritt FB: www.facebook.com/coachlizzie.merritt Lizzie invites you to enjoy all the extra bonuses from her book LIGHT: The New Psychology of Weight Loss. Those bonuses can be found at https://confidentbody.coach/light 🦋 Work With Kena If you're ready to move beyond knowing and start truly feeling it in your body — I'd love to support you. I guide high-achieving women back to who they truly are, beyond the roles, over-functioning, and patterns that have kept them disconnected from themselves.  ✨ Book your connection call: https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/connection-call-midlife-butterfly Instagram: @midlifebutterfly Website: midlifebutterfly.ca Midlife Butterfly is a podcast for high-achieving midlife women navigating emotional exhaustion, people pleasing, self-abandonment, nervous system healing, identity shifts, and midlife awakening. Hosted by Kena Siu, Identity & Embodiment Guide. Music: Back Home by Alex Productions and  Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

    58 min

  5. Apr 28

    #69 - Beyond the Checklist: What Midlife Is Really Asking of You

    You've spent decades being everything for everyone. And somewhere along the way, you stopped recognizing yourself. In this second session of A Doorway To Home, we go deeper into why midlife doesn't have to feel like a crisis — and why it might actually be your soul calling you back to yourself. We explore the invisible weight of the roles we carry: the strong one, the rescuer, the good girl — roles we took on to be loved, to belong, to survive. And how over time, those roles quietly drowned out the voice that knows who you actually are. This episode introduces neuroepigenetic breathing — a body-based practice that works with your nervous system to release stored trauma, reconnect the mind-heart-pelvis triad, and gently bring fragmented parts of yourself back home. We talk honestly about the pelvic floor, the womb, and the parts of our body we were taught to ignore or feel shame around. Because those parts hold memory — and releasing them changes everything. If you've been living on autopilot, feeling that quiet something is off, or wondering who you are beyond your to-do list — this episode is for you. You're not broken. You're just ready to come home. ✨ In This Episode You’ll Learn Why midlife feels like an awakening, not a crisis — and what your soul is really asking forThe "checklist life" and what happens when you reach the end of itHow we fragment ourselves through relationships, roles, and things we've learned to hideMasculine vs. feminine energy — the cost of always doing and never beingThe three centers: mind, heart, and pelvis — and why all three need to be in coherenceNeuroepigenetic breathing as a body-led path to nervous system regulation and self-reclamationWhy we carry so much tension in the pelvic floor — and what it means to release itHome as a feeling, not a place — and how to return to it anywhere 🦋 Episode Takeaways The offness you feel isn't a flaw — it's a signal. Your body has been whispering. This is your invitation to finally listen.You've left parts of yourself behind. In relationships, in roles, in things you were ashamed of. Coming home means gathering them back.You are sex, love, and consciousness. All three. And reconnecting to all three is how coherence — and peace — actually happens.A regulated nervous system isn't a luxury. It's the foundation. When you can return to calm from within, your whole life shifts.You don't have to keep talking about it to heal it. Sometimes you just breathe. ✨ Coming Home Reflection Question What part of yourself have you been leaving behind — in a role, a relationship, or a belief about who you're supposed to be — that's quietly asking to come back? 🦋 Work With Kena If you're ready to move beyond knowing and start truly feeling it in your body — I'd love to support you. I guide high-achieving women back to who they truly are, beyond the roles, over-functioning, and patterns that have kept them disconnected from themselves.  ✨ Book your connection call: https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/connection-call-midlife-butterfly Instagram: @midlifebutterfly Website: midlifebutterfly.ca Midlife Butterfly is a podcast for high-achieving midlife women navigating emotional exhaustion, people pleasing, self-abandonment, nervous system healing, identity shifts, and midlife awakening. Hosted by Kena Siu, Identity & Embodiment Guide. Music: Back Home by Alex Productions and  Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

    29 min

  6. Apr 23

    #68 - The 3 main armours to break, to feel at Home in your body.

    Something feels off… and no matter how much inner work you’ve done, you still find yourself going back to the same patterns. This episode is a deep, grounded conversation on what it really means to come back home to yourself — not as an idea, but as a lived, embodied experience. Kena guides you through the truth many women in midlife are facing: you’ve outgrown old identities, yet your body is still holding onto them. Through the lens of somatic healing, neuroepigenetic breathing, and the mind-body-heart connection, you’ll explore how your identity was built, why your nervous system keeps pulling you back, and how to begin shifting it from within. This is about more than awareness — it’s about embodiment, self-trust, and reconnecting with your inner power, your heart, and your feminine energy. By the end, you’ll feel a deeper connection to yourself… and a new understanding of what “home” truly is. ✨ In This Episode You’ll Learn How to shift from intellectual healing into full-body embodimentWhy your identity keeps pulling you back to old patternsThe truth about people-pleasing, overgiving, and survival rolesWhat happens when you reconnect with your heart and feminine centerHow to begin transmuting emotional pain through the body 🦋 Reflection Questions Where in your life are you still abandoning yourself to feel safe or loved?What would shift if “home” wasn’t something outside of you—but within you?Are you allowing yourself to feel… or are you still trying to control the experience? 🦋 Work With Kena If you're ready to move beyond knowing and start truly feeling it in your body — I'd love to support you. I guide high-achieving women back to who they truly are, beyond the roles, over-functioning, and patterns that have kept them disconnected from themselves.  ✨ Book your connection call: https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/connection-call-midlife-butterfly Instagram: @midlifebutterfly Website: midlifebutterfly.ca Midlife Butterfly is a podcast for high-achieving midlife women navigating emotional exhaustion, people pleasing, self-abandonment, nervous system healing, identity shifts, and midlife awakening. Hosted by Kena Siu, Identity & Embodiment Guide. Music: Back Home by Alex Productions and  Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

    25 min

  7. Apr 15

    #67 - Release What Holds You Back To Travel & Tips to Head to Your New Destination

    What if the trip you keep postponing is actually a doorway back to yourself? In this deeply honest conversation, Kena sits with travel coach Maria Kamau to explore how travel in midlife becomes more than movement—it becomes a reclamation. Together, they unpack the real reasons women delay their desires: guilt, identity, fear, and the quiet belief that choosing themselves can wait. This episode gently challenges that story. You’ll feel the truth of how travel can support your healing journey, awaken self-trust, and reconnect you with your desires—not the ones shaped by expectation, but the ones that feel like freedom. From releasing the need to be everything for everyone, to taking grounded action (even in small ways), this is an invitation to remember that your life is happening now. By the end, you’ll feel empowered to stop waiting for permission—and start choosing yourself, one step at a time. ✨ In This Episode You’ll Learn How to shift from “someday” to aligned, grounded actionWhy guilt is blocking your freedom—and how to release itWhat happens when you step outside your comfort zoneThe truth about identity: you become through doingHow travel supports healing, self-trust, and expansion ✨ Where to Find Maria: Website: www.travelwithmkay.co.keFB: www.facebook.com/TravelwithMkay/IG: www.Instagram.com/Travelwithmkay 🦋 Reflection Questions What am I postponing that my soul is quietly asking for?Where in my life am I waiting for permission to choose myself?What would it feel like to trust my desires more than my fears? 🦋 Work With Kena If you're ready to move beyond knowing and start truly feeling it in your body — I'd love to support you. I guide high-achieving women back to who they truly are, beyond the roles, over-functioning, and patterns that have kept them disconnected from themselves.  ✨ Book your connection call: https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/connection-call-midlife-butterfly Instagram: @midlifebutterfly Website: midlifebutterfly.ca Midlife Butterfly is a podcast for high-achieving midlife women navigating emotional exhaustion, people pleasing, self-abandonment, nervous system healing, identity shifts, and midlife awakening. Hosted by Kena Siu, Identity & Embodiment Guide. Music: Back Home by Alex Productions and  Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

    1h 14m

  8. Apr 9

    #66 - Bridge The Gap Between Mind And Body

    You’ve done the inner work — therapy, coaching, books, podcasts… so why do you still feel stuck in the same patterns? This is the missing piece of midlife healing, self-trust, and reinvention that no one talks about: your body. In this episode, Kena breaks down why mindset alone isn’t enough for lasting transformation — and how your nervous system, stored emotions, and unconscious patterns keep pulling you back into survival mode. If you’re a woman navigating midlife transitions — divorce, loss, reinvention, or a spiritual awakening — this conversation will shift how you approach your healing journey. Through embodiment, breathwork, and nervous system regulation, you’ll begin to move from overthinking to feeling, from control to surrender, from disconnection to deep self-trust. This is where true midlife empowerment begins — not in your mind, but in your body. ✨ In This Episode You’ll Learn Why mindset work alone keeps you stuck in midlife patternsHow to regulate your nervous system and shift out of survival modeWhat happens when you stop suppressing emotions and start embodying themHow breathwork supports emotional healing without retelling your storyThe key to self-trust, alignment, and true midlife reinvention 🦋 Reflection Questions Where in my life am I thinking my way through instead of feeling?What emotions am I still trying to control or avoid?What would it look like to feel safe in my body again? 🦋 Work With Kena If you're ready to move beyond knowing and start truly feeling it in your body — I'd love to support you. I guide high-achieving women back to who they truly are, beyond the roles, over-functioning, and patterns that have kept them disconnected from themselves.  ✨ Book your connection call: https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/connection-call-midlife-butterfly Instagram: @midlifebutterfly Website: midlifebutterfly.ca Midlife Butterfly is a podcast for high-achieving midlife women navigating emotional exhaustion, people pleasing, self-abandonment, nervous system healing, identity shifts, and midlife awakening. Hosted by Kena Siu, Identity & Embodiment Guide. Music: Back Home by Alex Productions and  Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

    16 min
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Midlife Butterfly is a podcast for high-achieving midlife women who are tired of abandoning themselves just to hold everything else together. Hosted by Kena Siu, Identity & Embodiment Guide, this podcast explores emotional truth, nervous system healing, self-remembrance, feminine aliveness, and what it really means to come home to yourself after years of over-functioning, caregiving, people-pleasing, and survival mode. If you've been feeling emotionally exhausted, disconnected from yourself, overwhelmed by everyone else's needs, or unsure who you are beyond your roles and responsibilities — you are not alone. Each episode meets you where you are — in the exhaustion, the confusion, the quiet longing — and gently guides you back to yourself through nervous system awareness, embodied reflection, and deeply honest conversation. This is a space for women navigating midlife awakening, emotional burnout, identity shifts, relationship patterns, self-worth, feminine healing, and the quiet longing to finally feel alive again. You don't need to become someone new. You just need to remember who you truly are. 🔗 Connect with Kena:🦋 Instagram: @midlifebutterfly🌐 Website: midlifebutterfly.ca Much love 💜, Kena Siu

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