Notice That

Jen Savage and Bridger Falkenstien

An EMDR Podcast

  1. 6d ago

    Stuck: Is My Client Resistant, or Do I Not Know What I'm Doing? | The Relational Thread

    This is the launch of The Relational Thread, a free weekly essay series from Bridger Falkenstien and Jen Savage that tells the story of their forthcoming Routledge book, EMDR and the Therapeutic Relationship: Reclaiming the Relational Thread, and applies it to the room. Each essay is read aloud by its author — in our voice, not an AI narrator — and lives on Substack for anyone who'd rather read. The regular biweekly episodes of Notice That continue as always; this series is added on top. This first thread, "The Unnamed Thing," is Bridger's, reflecting on chapters one and two. Key themes The moment at the door. The felt sense that something shifted — or refused to — after a session, and why we've been trained to file it under "rapport" and write the protocol note instead.The thing isn't unnamed — in us it is. The literature has named it for decades (intersubjectivity, mutual recognition, the therapeutic alliance, the relational field). What it lacks is standing in the therapist's own internal ledger of what counts as real clinical material.The relationship as the most reliable predictor of outcome. What the research has been saying quietly for half a century, and why "non-specific factors" may be the signal rather than the noise.The space between is not a metaphor. Interpersonal neurobiology and attachment work suggest regulation, safety, and meaning are co-constructed between bodies, beneath language, in real time — held with appropriate humility, since the mechanisms are still contested.The stuck case, reframed. Immovability is rarely a malfunction. Compliance, perfect answers, and warmth that never quite lets you in are adaptations built in relationships where being fully seen wasn't safe. The refusal to shift is relational information, not the absence of it. Practical clinical takeaways — what to bring into your next session Track the field like you track the target. Add one channel to the SUD/affect/body you already monitor: what is happening between us right now — closer or further, softer or more braced? You don't have to do anything with it yet. Tracking it is the skill.Let your own body count as assessment. Treat the heaviness, the impulse to lean in, the sudden distance as hypotheses about the field rather than contaminants of your objectivity — while holding that your body may also be reporting on your own history. Hold both at once.Try naming it out loud. "Feel like something just changed — what's coming up for you?" or "I sense there's something beneath this, but we can't quite see under it right now." Used with care, language like this turns the implicit field into shared, workable material — and it's often the exact experience a client has never had. Concepts, frameworks & names mentioned (with light context) Flückiger et al. (2018) — meta-analysis synthesizing ~295 studies and 30,000+ clients; found the alliance–outcome correlation strong, stable, and consistent across modalities.Norcross & Lambert (2019) — reached a convergent conclusion on the relationship's role in outcomes from another direction.Wampold (2015) — "common factors" (alliance chief among them) account for more outcome variance than any specific technique.Allan Schore — right-hemisphere-to-right-hemisphere communication in the therapeutic dyad.Stephen Porges — co-regulation as a biological imperative (Polyvagal theory).Jessica Benjamin — mutual recognition: the moment two people become subjects to each other rather than objects.Interpersonal neurobiology / attachment literature — the broader case that co-regulation and meaning are built between nervous systems in real time (held provisionally). Read the essay: The Relational Thread on Substack here! Most of us were handed fidelity checklists and taught to call the rest "non-specific." This thread makes the opposite wager: the felt shift at the door is not the soft part of your work — it may be the most important part, and it can be developed with the same rigor as any protocol. If you've ever trusted that sense and then discounted it in the same breath, this is an invitation to stop. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  2. Jul 9

    EMDR as an Approach, Not a Tool: Selected Populations & the Limits of the Protocol

    A client comes in with a population you've never worked with, and you feel it... the quiet "I'm not equipped for this." In the finale of our Back to Basics series, Bridger and Jen sit with what that feeling is actually made of. We close Francine Shapiro's foundational EMDR text on its last two chapters, selected populations and research, and land on the thesis humming under the whole show: EMDR is an approach to the entire therapeutic relationship, not a tool you apply to a diagnosis. In this episode: - A conceptualization frame you can bring to any population: four questions for your next session - Why the person is the expert on their own condition, and what themes and patterns are (and aren't) good for - Safety and shame as the through-line across every population - The reframe that most "population protocols" (chronic pain, perinatal, OCD, grief) are conceptualization frameworks in disguise - Competency culture, imposter syndrome, and when a referral is wisdom rather than failure - Populations up close: veterans, OCD, TBI, the perinatal period, chronic pain and illness, and grief Plus a season of milestones at Beyond Healing: the EMDR and the Therapeutic Relationship manuscript submitted to the publisher (forthcoming, early 2027, with a foreword by Deb Wesselman), the launch of Beyond Healing Psychiatry, and upcoming EMDR and SIP trainings ahead of EMDRIA this August. If you've ever hesitated at a referral, or felt behind on certifications, this one is for you. Learn more about our trainings at beyondhealingcenter.com (Trainings tab), or reach us at trainings@beyondhealingcenter.com. Support the show at patreon.com/thinkbeyondhealing. Follow us: Notice That Podcast. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  3. May 7

    Intersectionality in EMDR: Complexity, Curiosity, and Clinical Humility with Anastasia Soroka

    In this episode, Bridger welcomes Anastasia Soroka to Notice That for a one-on-one conversation about intersectionality, invisible identities, power, and complexity in the therapy room. Anastasia introduces herself as a trauma therapist specializing in complex trauma, relational dynamics, and interpersonal systems. She is also the host of the Insights with Us podcast and an author whose work explores stigma, sexuality, communication, and the human experience. The conversation begins with Anastasia’s metaphor for intersectionality: each identity as a street or intersection that adds complexity to the road of a person’s life. Rather than viewing identity as a single category, Anastasia describes intersectionality as the layered interaction of race, sexuality, socioeconomic status, culture, disability, chronic pain, geography, and lived experience. Bridger and Anastasia explore how this matters clinically because simplified assumptions about identity can prevent therapists from truly meeting the client in front of them. Anastasia shares about growing up across multiple countries, including Indonesia and the United Arab Emirates, and how her early life shaped her understanding of culture, belonging, and difference. Having spent much of her childhood outside the United States, she reflects on the question “Where are you from?” and how difficult it can be to answer when identity is shaped by movement, cultural immersion, and many overlapping homes. The conversation then turns toward invisible identities and the difference between what is chosen, what is given, and what is allowed to be. Anastasia reflects on queerness, sexuality, chronic pain, perfectionism, and the ways some identities become difficult to name when the surrounding environment does not make enough room for them. Bridger and Anastasia discuss how therapy can become a space where clients begin to recognize, name, and reclaim parts of themselves that may have been minimized, hidden, or disallowed. Anastasia also shares the story of becoming a therapist, beginning with her original desire to pursue research and academia, her work in crisis services, and her eventual movement into trauma therapy and EMDR. She describes her crisis work as a place where she learned the power of slowing down, sitting with another human being, and offering safety without rushing toward solutions. A major portion of the episode explores EMDR therapy with complex trauma. Anastasia reflects on her experience of EMDR basic training, the usefulness of the Adaptive Information Processing model, and the realization that standard protocol alone is often insufficient for clients with developmental trauma, dissociation, chronic shame, and complex relational histories. Bridger and Anastasia discuss the importance of extended resourcing, building adaptive networks, and honoring the pace required for complex trauma work. Anastasia describes how she integrates parts work into EMDR, especially by attending to protectors and allowing those parts to help shape the pace and sequence of trauma processing. Rather than forcing the client into a rigid treatment structure, she emphasizes the need to “go with” the client’s system — honoring imagery, sensation, color, thought, dissociation, and the unique ways trauma communicates through the body and imagination. The episode also includes a powerful reflection on chronic pain as an invisible identity. Anastasia shares her experience of living for over a decade with debilitating headaches and migraines before finally being believed by a provider who recognized the source of her pain. She and Bridger discuss how chronic pain shapes identity, self-understanding, relational life, and the ability to show up authentically. This leads into a broader reflection on the clinical importance of believing clients when they describe their own experience. Toward the end of the conversation, Bridger and Anastasia explore how therapists can begin practicing intersectional humility. Anastasia suggests that trauma-informed care means entering the room with awareness that something important may be present even when it has not yet been named. This includes trauma, but it also includes invisible identities, minority identities, shame, pain, and meanings the client may not yet feel safe enough to disclose. The conversation closes with a discussion of meaning-making, assumptions, monogamy, polyamory, relational expectations, diversity education, and the need for therapists to deconstruct their own definitions. Anastasia invites clinicians to ask clients what their words, values, identities, and relationships mean to them rather than assuming shared definitions. Bridger connects this with the therapeutic need to create an authentic meeting place where client and therapist can build meaning together. Key Themes Intersectionality in therapy Identity is not singular. Each client and therapist enters the room with overlapping experiences of culture, privilege, marginalization, history, body, pain, sexuality, belonging, and relational meaning. Invisible identities Anastasia highlights how identities such as chronic pain, queerness, cultural displacement, and internalized shame may deeply shape a person’s life even when they are not immediately visible. Power in the therapy room Power is not something therapists can opt out of. It is present in the room through language, assumptions, clinical models, cultural norms, and the therapist’s posture toward the client. EMDR and complex trauma The episode explores why complex trauma often requires more flexibility, resourcing, pacing, and clinical humility than a rigid application of the standard protocol can provide. Resourcing and adaptive networks For clients with developmental or complex trauma, resourcing is not a quick preliminary step. It may be the core work of building new regulatory capacity over time. Parts work and EMDR Anastasia discusses using parts work to honor protectors, barriers, and internal systems before moving into trauma processing. Chronic pain and identity The conversation frames chronic pain not only as a physical experience, but as an identity-shaping reality that can affect selfhood, relationships, work, and embodiment. Clinical curiosity and humility Therapists are invited to ask, “What does that mean to you?” rather than assuming that words like family, healing, power, safety, or love mean the same thing for every client. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  4. Apr 23

    Attachment-Focused EMDR with Deb Wesselmann: Children, Families & Trauma Recovery

    In this episode of Notice That: An EMDR Podcast, we sit down with internationally respected clinician, trainer, and author Deb Wesselmann to explore the powerful intersection of EMDR therapy, attachment wounds, childhood trauma, parenting, and relational healing. Deb shares her decades of experience integrating attachment theory with EMDR therapy, including practical ways therapists can work with children, parents, families, and adults carrying unresolved developmental trauma. We discuss: Why attachment trauma often lives beneath symptomsHow EMDR can help heal early relational woundsWorking with children using EMDRFamily therapy + EMDR integrationResourcing trust, safety, and connectionParents as part of the healing processParts work / ego states in EMDRHow therapists become corrective emotional experiencesWhy the therapeutic relationship still matters deeply in trauma workDeb also shares stories from training with Francine Shapiro in the early days of EMDR and how the field has evolved over time. If you're an EMDR therapist, trauma therapist, counselor, psychologist, or simply fascinated by healing relationships, this conversation is packed with wisdom. Learn more about Deb Wesselmann through her website: https://debrawesselmann.com/ Learn more about training and professional development opportunities with Beyond Healing through our website: connectbeyondhealing.com DETAILED SHOW NOTES Introduction Bridger and Jen open the episode by discussing their upcoming EMDR Basic Trainings, hybrid learning model, consultation opportunities, and their emphasis on relationship-centered EMDR training. Meet Deb Wesselmann Deb shares her background as: Former school teacherTherapist for 35+ yearsEMDR clinician since the mid-1990sCo-founder of the Attachment and Trauma Center in NebraskaLongtime specialist in attachment, trauma, adoption, children, and family healingHer journey into therapy began through witnessing the unmet emotional needs of children in school settings. Early EMDR with Francine Shapiro Deb reflects on training directly with Francine Shapiro when EMDR was still considered “experimental.” She discusses: Why she was initially skepticalHer powerful practicum experienceHow EMDR differed from hypnosisWhy EMDR felt safer, gentler, and more effective for trauma treatmentWhy Attachment and EMDR Fit So Well Deb explains how EMDR naturally supports attachment healing because it helps process: mistrustabandonment woundsrelational fearunresolved griefabuse memoriesdevelopmental traumaShe emphasizes that attachment styles are shaped through experience—not fixed identity. What Didn’t Happen Matters Too One of the most powerful moments of the episode: Healing is not only about processing what happened to clients... It is also about grieving and repairing what never happened: protectionsoothingattunementnurturesafetyemotional co-regulationParts Work / Ego States in EMDR Deb and the hosts discuss: ego statesparts languagemultiplicity of selfinternalized child partswounded protector partsThey explore how parts work deepens EMDR treatment, especially with complex trauma. Deb’s Integrative Family EMDR Model Deb outlines her step-by-step model for working with children and families: Phase 1: Parent psychoeducation and case conceptualization Helping parents understand: “This is not a bad child.”“This is a wounded child in survival mode.”Phase 2: Family preparation and regulation work Including: body regulation exerciseswindow of tolerance educationplayful nervous system workemotional literacyPhase 3: Attachment-focused EMDR resourcing Examples: parent-child connection exercisesmessages of lovesoothing touchbilateral stimulation paired with relational safetyhealing the “little one inside”When Parents Are the Barrier Deb speaks honestly about difficult cases where caregivers are emotionally unsafe, resistant, or abusive. The hosts discuss how therapists may need to pivot toward: supporting the child directlygrief workcoping strategiesbecoming a safe relational templateThe Therapist as Attachment Resource A major theme of the conversation: The therapeutic relationship itself becomes healing data. Bridger discusses inviting clients to: “Take my voice with you.” Meaning: internalize compassionremember safetyborrow regulationcarry supportive relational memory into distressThis is a beautiful section for therapists working with complex trauma. Why This Episode Matters This conversation reminds us that EMDR is not merely protocol. It is also: relationaldevelopmentalembodiedattachment-informeddeeply humanSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  5. Apr 3

    "Cognitive" Interweaves in EMDR: From Scripts to Relational Process

    In this return to our Back to Basics series, we’re diving into one of the most misunderstood—and often over-scripted—parts of EMDR therapy: interweaves. If you were trained to think of interweaves as something you “pull out of a list” when a client gets stuck, you’re not alone. But what if interweaves aren’t about saying the right thing… and instead about understanding what the system needs next? In this episode, we explore: What interweaves are actually doing in the brain and nervous systemWhy “cognitive interweaves” are only part of the storyHow stuckness in EMDR often reflects deeper relational and developmental patternsThe difference between interrupting processing vs. supporting movementHow to move from rigid scripts to relational, somatic, and intuitive interweavesWhy some interweaves increase distress—and why that’s not a failure We walk through core categories from Francine Shapiro's EMDR: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures (responsibility, safety, and choice), while also expanding into a more integrative framework that includes: Somatic interweavesAffective interweavesRelational and resource-based interweaves You’ll also hear real clinical reflections on: Why “I’m confused…” doesn’t always landHow metaphor, imagery, and even humor can unlock stuck processingWhen to stay out of the way… and when your presence matters most Ultimately, this conversation reframes interweaves not as a technique—but as a relational intervention grounded in attunement, timing, and case conceptualization. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking: “What do I say right now?” This episode will help you shift toward: “What does my client’s system need right now?” See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  6. Apr 2

    Can You Use EMDR During Pregnancy? Debunking the Biggest Myths with Beth Warren

    What happens when one of the most meaningful seasons of life—pregnancy and early parenthood—collides with trauma, grief, and attachment wounds? In this episode of Notice That, we sit down with perinatal mental health specialist Bethany Warren to explore how EMDR therapy can be used safely and effectively with pregnant and postpartum clients—and why so many clinicians have been taught otherwise. Together, we unpack: The most common myths about EMDR in pregnancy (and what the research actually says)Why “just resourcing” may unintentionally limit healingHow attachment wounds, identity shifts, and grief show up in the perinatal periodThe difference between trauma and the deeper layers of lossHow EMDR helps untangle both present-day distress and long-standing relational patterns We also explore the emotional reality of becoming a parent—the unexpected grief, the vulnerability of attachment, and the ways our own histories come alive in this stage of life. This conversation is both clinically rich and deeply human—an invitation to rethink how we approach trauma, healing, and development in one of the most transformative seasons of life. Whether you’re an EMDR clinician or simply someone navigating parenthood, this episode offers a powerful lens into what it means to heal while becoming. Connect with Bethany Warren: Website: https://bethanywarrenlcsw.com/Perinatal EMDR Training (HAP): https://www.traumarecoveryhap.org/course/warren-perinatal-clientsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  7. Mar 12

    The Perinatal Window: Trauma, Matrescence, and EMDR with Dr. Nirit Gordon

    Becoming a parent is often described as one of life’s most joyful milestones. But what happens psychologically, relationally, and neurologically during the transition into parenthood is far more complex — and far less discussed — than many clinicians realize. In this episode of Notice That: An EMDR Podcast, Bridger and Jen sit down with psychologist and EMDR consultant Dr. Nirit Gordon to explore the profound developmental, attachment-based, and trauma-related shifts that occur during the perinatal period. Drawing from feminist theory, attachment research, evolutionary anthropology, and clinical EMDR practice, this conversation reframes the transition to parenthood as a sensitive developmental stage comparable to adolescence — a time marked by identity reorganization, heightened emotional activation, relational stress, and the resurfacing of unresolved attachment wounds. Together, we explore: Why perinatal mental health is one of the most under-recognized areas in trauma treatment How attachment memories and developmental trauma networks reactivate during pregnancy and early parenting The concept of matrescence and its implications for case conceptualization Why fathers and partners undergo neurobiological and hormonal shifts during early parenting How modern parenting culture conflicts with evolutionary caregiving needs The myth of constant parental attunement and what attachment research actually shows Birth trauma and systemic gaps in trauma-informed obstetric care Using babies as resources in EMDR therapy The clinical importance of including perinatal experiences in Phase 1 history taking How therapists can support identity transformation during early parenthood This episode invites clinicians to expand their understanding of trauma, development, and relational memory — and to consider the perinatal period not simply as a life event, but as a critical neurobiological and psychological window for therapeutic intervention. Whether you work directly with parents or not, this conversation offers a powerful lens for understanding how attachment, trauma, and identity evolve across the lifespan. To follow Nirit's work, check out her website at niritgordonphd.com and her training offerings at touchstoneinstitute.org See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  8. Feb 19

    Collecting the Bones: Ego States, Self-Work, and the Therapist’s Inner World with Jessica Downs

    What happens when therapy stops being about techniques — and starts becoming about you? In this deeply reflective episode of Notice That, Bridger and Jen are joined by therapist and trainer Jessica Downs for an intimate conversation exploring the inner life of therapists, professional identity, and the personal work that inevitably emerges beneath clinical practice. Together, they explore the hidden motivations that draw people into helping professions, the illusion of the “next training” as a solution to therapeutic stuckness, and the moment many therapists encounter when professional development turns into personal reckoning. This episode moves beyond theory into experience, as Jessica guides a live experiential exercise inviting listeners to connect with younger parts of themselves — demonstrating how EMDR principles, ego state work, and imagination can foster integration and self-compassion. Themes explored include: Why therapists often chase new modalities or trainingsThe relationship between burnout and unresolved inner dynamicsCountertransference and the therapist’s personal historyEgo states and parts work through an EMDR lensThe role of suffering in human experienceIndividuation, identity, and professional evolutionHealing as wholeness rather than symptom eliminationThis conversation is slower, more inward, and intentionally reflective — an invitation to pause, notice, and reconnect with the parts of yourself that brought you into this work in the first place. In This Episode, We Discuss The unconscious reasons therapists become therapistsWhen “helping people” isn’t the whole storyCapitalism, continuing education culture, and therapist insecurityInternal imagery and symbolic work in healingParenting, therapy, and mirrors of the selfJessica’s “spotlighting” ego state exercise (follow along included)The La Loba myth and reclaiming lost parts of self About Our Guest — Jessica Downs Jessica Downs is a trauma therapist, EMDR clinician, and co-founder of Iris Training Collective. Her work integrates EMDR, ego state approaches, symbolism, and depth psychology to help therapists reconnect with authenticity and wholeness in both personal and professional development. Resources & Links Iris Training CollectiveLive Well Counseling Center (Grand Junction, CO)Notice That PodcastBeyond Healing trainings and consultation opportunities See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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