Pour It On

Shaun Emerson, Ben Feller, Chris Lozier
  • 5.0 (6)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

Pour It On is a podcast hosted by Shaun Emerson, Ben Feller and Chris Lozier about male friendship, life’s challenges and joys, and making the most of our time here. When the chaos of life makes you want to bottle it in, don’t let it. Grab your drink of choice, enjoy the moment, and let’s pour it on!

  1. #21...Reuniting and Reconnecting

    APR 21

    #21...Reuniting and Reconnecting

    In this episode of Pour It On, Chris recounts his recent 30-year reunion with his fellow submarine officers from the USS Trepang. The trio explores if/how "shared intensity"--whether in the isolated, high-stakes environment of a fast-attack submarine or the high-pressure "bubble" of the White House--creates a permanent, unique bond that survives decades of silence. The conversation dives into the pragmatic challenges of maintaining these connections as we age, the "ROI" of social investment, and the profound fulfillment that comes from being truly witnessed by those who knew us before we became who we are today. From the logistical hurdles of "scheduling hassle" to the emotional payoff of vulnerability, Chris, Shaun, and Ben offer a heterodox look at why we often resist reunions yet find them life-giving once they occur. Key Takeaways: [05:30] The Shared Intensity Factor: How high-stakes environments like the military or the White House forge bonds that may differ from standard relationships.[15:10] The "Moment in Time" Trap: Ben reflects on the advice he received about leaving the White House--embracing a marvelous experience without constantly chasing that same high.[25:30] The Logistics of Connection: Shaun and Ben discuss the friction of "scheduling hassle" and why someone must step up as the "instigator" to make reconnection happen.[32:45] Vulnerability and Aging: The hosts consider whether men may find it easier to be "beautifully vulnerable" later in life and the power of "real talk" over trivial conversation.[36:00] Being Witnessed: A look at why it is uniquely fulfilling to be seen by people who knew your "formative" self.Resources Mentioned: USS Trepang (SSN 674): The Sturgeon-class fast-attack submarine Chris served on.USS Iowa (SSN 797): The second newest submarine in the fleet that Chris’s group toured during their reunion.Fr. Michael Himes: Referenced regarding the fulfillment of being witnessed or seen (link is to the If You've Come This Far episode)

    40 min
  2. #20...Wisdom > Knowledge

    APR 6

    #20...Wisdom > Knowledge

    In this episode of Pour It On, Shaun, Ben, and Chris gather on a Saturday morning to explore the elusive nature of wisdom. Moving beyond simple definitions, the trio discusses how wisdom differs from mere intelligence and why it is so often rooted in humility and lived experience. The conversation starts with a classic analogy—knowing a tomato is a fruit versus knowing not to put it in a fruit salad—and evolves into a deep dive into how we apply what we’ve learned to help others. From the boardrooms of New York to the bleachers of Yankee Stadium, they reflect on the moments when "knowing" takes a backseat to "understanding". Takeaways Wisdom vs. Knowledge: While knowledge is the accumulation of facts, wisdom is the contextual application of experience to help others navigate their own challenges.The Humility Factor: True wisdom is not about dictating "the way" to others; it involves respecting different perspectives and remaining curious rather than becoming a "mentor bully".Cross-Generational Learning: Wisdom isn't strictly tied to age. Younger generations often offer profound insights by focusing on the "why" and prioritizing connection over convenience.Vulnerability as a Tool: Sharing stories of past fears and mistakes—like Ben's "car-chase" story—can be a more effective way to transfer wisdom than simply listing successes.The Power of Curiosity: A wise approach to leadership and parenting involves asking "what ails you?" and being genuinely curious about another person's reality.Chapters 00:00 Saturday Morning Check-in: Brooklyn Geography and Palm Springs Highlights02:12 The Tomato Analogy: Knowledge vs. Intelligence vs. Wisdom03:55 Contextual Counseling: How Wisdom Shows Up in the Workplace07:06 EQ vs. Quant: The "Kelloggian" Perspective on Leadership08:50 Avoiding the "Mentor Bully": The Role of Humility in Being Wise10:48 Vulnerability at 80 MPH: Sharing Lessons with the Next Generation14:50 Wisdom and Love: Asking "What Ails You?"19:34 The Wisdom of a 14-Year-Old: Lessons from Yankee Stadium25:45 The Only Question That Matters: Why the "Why" is Everything28:34 Closing Reflections: A Future Kid-Led Episode?

    30 min
  3. #19...Transitions in Life

    MAR 17

    #19...Transitions in Life

    In this episode, the trio dives into the multifaceted nature of life transitions, sparked by Ben's recent move to a new job at age 55. They explore the emotional spectrum of change—ranging from the initial spark of excitement to the "deep gulp" of uncertainty that comes with stepping into the unknown. The conversation contrasts the feeling of being the instigator of change versus having transitions forced upon you, while also reflecting on how generational views on career longevity have shifted. Finally, they touch on personal milestones, such as children growing up and the "superpower" of asking for specific help during times of flux. Takeaways Transitions often mirror the arc of grief, moving through waves of excitement, hope, and worry.Actively seeking change can provide a sense of control and intentionality in one’s life.Even with extensive experience, new transitions can still trigger a "deep gulp" of fear and the need to relearn behaviors.Change serves as an energy source, helping to build "new muscles" through adaptation to different environments and cultures.While previous generations found stability in 40-year careers at one company, modern transitions often offer necessary intellectual stimulation.Personal transitions, such as children leaving for college or getting married, are significant shifts that require emotional recalibration.Admitting the need for help and being specific about that request is a crucial tool for navigating difficult transitions.The support found in "affinity groups" or close friendships is invaluable because most transitions are not unique to the individual.Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Chris’s recent swim meet03:52 Introducing the Topic: Life and Career Transitions05:13 The Emotional Trajectory: Excitement to Worry06:36 Being the Instigator vs. Forced Change08:08 The "Deep Gulp" of Starting Over10:14 Building "New Muscles" Through Change13:58 Generational Shifts in Career Longevity17:58 Personal Transitions: Empty Nesting and Growing Children21:55 The "Superpower" of Asking for Help26:12 Closing Reflections and Seeking Specific Support

    37 min
  4. #18...Navigating Grief: Personal Stories and Insights

    MAR 4

    #18...Navigating Grief: Personal Stories and Insights

    In this episode, we delve into the profound topic of grief, sharing our personal experiences with loss and exploring the complexities of navigating emotions associated with it. We discuss the different models of grief, the impermanence of life, and how children perceive and react to loss. The conversation emphasizes the importance of open dialogue about grief and the necessity of support systems during difficult times. Takeaways Grief is a complex and personal experience that varies for everyone.The first year after a loss can be particularly challenging.Grief can manifest not only from death but also from other forms of loss.The five stages of grief are not a linear process and can vary greatly.It's important to allow oneself to feel and express grief in a healthy way.Children may not fully understand loss but can provide valuable perspectives.The concept of impermanence can help in processing grief.Life continues to grow around grief, allowing for healing over time.Open conversations about grief can foster understanding and support.Modeling emotional honesty for children is crucial in their understanding of loss.Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates 01:52 Navigating Grief: Personal Experiences 09:57 Understanding Grief: Models and Perspectives 19:53 The Impermanence of Life and Grief 29:53 Children's Perspectives on Loss 37:46 Conclusion and Reflections on Grief

    42 min
  5. #17...Lonely and Being Alone

    FEB 20

    #17...Lonely and Being Alone

    In this episode, Shaun, Ben, and Chris discuss the difference between being alone and feeling lonely. They share their experiences of cherishing alone time and how it can be a source of joy, the impact of the pandemic on human connection, how technology can both help and hinder connection, how loneliness can be exacerbated by societal expectations and the importance of intentionality in maintaining real connections, and more.

    42 min
  6. #16...What Is A Healthy Life?

    FEB 4

    #16...What Is A Healthy Life?

    Ben is the host for the latest episode and he asks the question, "What makes a healthy life?" The guys explore the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of being healthy. They discuss joy, connection, hiking, stress management, mindfulness, push-ups and cold showers, cocktails, Baskin Robbins ice cream (Banana Marshmallow?), the power of discipline and routinization, balance, and more.

    38 min
  7. #15..."Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right"

    JAN 22

    #15..."Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right"

    Chris hosts this episode exploring the Henry Ford heuristic, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." The guys delve into mindset as a factor for success and personal growth, taking on cooking (brownie pudding!), being in a slump, Monty Python, Ina Garten, Yoda, directing traffic and more.

    42 min
  8. #14...Fame & Legacy

    JAN 7

    #14...Fame & Legacy

    In the first episode of 2026, hosts Ben, Chris, and Shaun discuss their experiences with fame and legacy. Prompted by Shaun's wife and daughter's attendance at the Palm Springs International Film Festival, the guys discuss the lure and the "bubble" of fame. They share anecdotes of run-ins with famous folks and Ben's work in the ultimate bubble, the White House. They debate the impact of fame on personal lives, emphasizing the importance of genuine human connections and the desire for a meaningful legacy.

    43 min
See All (22)

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

Pour It On is a podcast hosted by Shaun Emerson, Ben Feller and Chris Lozier about male friendship, life’s challenges and joys, and making the most of our time here. When the chaos of life makes you want to bottle it in, don’t let it. Grab your drink of choice, enjoy the moment, and let’s pour it on!

Information

  • Creator
    Shaun Emerson, Ben Feller, Chris Lozier
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    22
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © SME Podcasts
  • Show Website
    Pour It On

You Might Also Like