Secondhand Therapy

PonyBear Studios

Secondhand Therapy is a funny, honest mental health podcast where two unlicensed best friends unpack their weekly therapy sessions. Join Louie Paoletti and Michael Malone as they explore anxiety, ADHD, grief, masculinity, and emotional growth—with humor, heart, and total transparency. Each episode blends raw self-reflection with real time takes on therapy, trauma, relationships, and the messy process of healing. It’s real talk about mental health in the modern world, and why personal growth is so damn hard.

  1. 38m ago

    Low Stuff and Steam | #143

    Trigger Warning: This episode contains a discussion including suicide Support the boys:PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodMERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What if your “need for context” is actually just defensiveness in disguise? This week on Secondhand Therapy, Lou and Michael unpack low self-esteem, codependency, validation, people-pleasing, emotional safety, and the surprisingly complicated art of admitting when you’re wrong. A conversation about why some of us struggle to trust our own opinions, constantly look to other people for reassurance, and feel personally attacked when someone points out a mistake. Lou digs into what codependency and low self-esteem look like in everyday life—from difficulty making decisions and valuing other people’s opinions over your own to seeking praise, struggling with healthy boundaries, and needing external validation. They also explore how childhood experiences can shape confidence, emotional regulation, and the ability to process your own feelings. Meanwhile, Michael confronts his own relationship with defensiveness, accountability, perfectionism, and the instinct to explain himself whenever he feels criticized. Is providing context actually helpful—or is it just a very articulate way of avoiding “I f****d up”? The conversation gets into emotional intelligence, conflict in relationships, resentment, holding space, vulnerability, self-worth, childhood emotional neglect, processing emotions, and the difference between taking accountability and beating yourself up. And, naturally, there is an extended discussion about cereal for dinner. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.comFollow us here:http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-2448PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105Cover Art Design: Louie PaolettiTheme Music: Jamie Franks Topics: low self-esteem, codependency, defensiveness, emotional intelligence, validation, people-pleasing, self-worth, accountability, emotional regulation, childhood emotional neglect, relationships, boundaries

    Low Stuff and Steam | #143
  2. Aug 17

    Being Misunderstood is my Toxic Trait | #142

    Support the boys:PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodMERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when the internet sees 90 seconds of your life and decides they know your entire personality? This week on Secondhand Therapy, Lou and Michael unpack the fallout from a viral clip that sparked a comment-section debate about flirting, relationships, jealousy, safety, and whether Michael crossed a line by giving a woman a drawing. What starts as a conversation about social media judgment turns into something much deeper: the difference between being misunderstood and being wrong, how much weight we should give strangers’ opinions, and why taking accountability for your own emotions matters. They also get into control, projection, relationship boundaries, communication, emotional responsibility, gaslighting, the importance of language, and the uncomfortable reality that sometimes the people criticizing us online might actually have a point. Because growth isn't about being right all the time. It's about being willing to look at yourself when you might be wrong—and figuring out what feedback is actually worth listening to. Secondhand Therapy is a mental health and comedy podcast about relationships, vulnerability, men's mental health, emotional growth, therapy, anxiety, communication, and the messy process of figuring yourself out. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.comFollow us here:http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-2448PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105Cover Art Design: Louie PaolettiTheme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: social media criticism, being misunderstood, internet judgment, relationships, jealousy, flirting, relationship boundaries, emotional accountability, personal responsibility, control, projection, communication, gaslighting, therapy, self-reflection, men's mental health, vulnerability, emotional growth, and learning when to take criticism seriously.

    Being Misunderstood is my Toxic Trait | #142
  3. Aug 10

    Can You Flirt by Accident? | #141

    Support the boys:PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodMERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when your intentions don't match how other people experience you? This week on Secondhand Therapy, Michael shares why he switched to a dumb phone, started drawing at his local coffee shop, and accidentally found himself in a debate about whether kindness can be mistaken for flirting. From there, the conversation turns into something much bigger: emotional intention, dating, relationship communication, trust, boundaries, and how differently men and women move through the world. The guys also explore one of the hardest relationship questions: How do you know when it's time to leave? They discuss emotional exhaustion, falling in and out of love, long-term relationships, fear of commitment, avoiding vulnerability after heartbreak, and whether love is something you choose over and over again. Later, they unpack a book about curiosity, emotional healing, and breaking old thought patterns, leading to a conversation about anxiety, self-awareness, emotional growth, therapy, and rewriting the stories we inherited about ourselves. If you've ever struggled with dating, relationships, overthinking, emotional avoidance, attachment, vulnerability, or figuring out whether to stay or walk away, this episode is for you. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.comFollow us here:http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-2448PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105Cover Art Design: Louie PaolettiTheme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: relationships, dating, emotional intelligence, therapy, attachment styles, vulnerability, emotional healing, communication, commitment, anxiety, self-growth, boundaries, curiosity, overthinking, personal development, mental health, breakup advice, emotional resilience, men's mental health, psychology, self-awareness.

    Can You Flirt by Accident? | #141
  4. Aug 3

    I Am Her | #140

    Support the boys:PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodMERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when you finally let yourself be angry? This week, Michael shares one of his biggest therapy breakthroughs yet after writing a deeply emotional letter to his late mother. What begins as grief quickly turns into conversations about childhood programming, emotional suppression, people pleasing, inherited coping mechanisms, and the uncomfortable realization that we often become the very people who shaped us. Louie and Michael also explore the difference between happiness and fulfillment, why expressing emotions is essential for human connection, learning new skills as adults, and how fear quietly controls more of our lives than we realize. If you've struggled with grief, emotional neglect, family trauma, unresolved anger, people pleasing, self-worth, or healing your inner child, this episode will probably hit close to home—with plenty of laughs along the way. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.comFollow us here:http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-2448PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105Cover Art Design: Louie PaolettiTheme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: therapy, grief, emotional healing, childhood trauma, parent-child relationships, anger, emotional vulnerability, people pleasing, happiness vs. fulfillment, self-discovery, fear, emotional regulation, personal growth, mental health, and healing from the past.

    I Am Her | #140
  5. Jul 27

    I'm In The Business of Misery | #139

    Support the boys:PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodMERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when your brain mistakes pain for safety? This week on Secondhand Therapy, Michael shares one of his biggest therapy breakthroughs yet after a week filled with recovery conversations, codependency meetings, and difficult realizations about love, grief, and self-sabotage. The guys unpack why fear of abandonment can cause people to sabotage healthy relationships, how childhood attachment wounds shape adult dating patterns, and why some people unconsciously recreate emotional pain because it feels familiar. They also explore love addiction (SLAA), codependency recovery, emotional vulnerability, and the hidden ways grief can prevent happiness. The conversation takes an unexpected turn as Michael opens up about seeing someone who reminded him of his late mother, leading to a powerful discussion about complicated grief, survivor's guilt, healing after losing a parent, and learning how to carry someone forward without letting loss define your life. If you've ever struggled with anxiety, attachment, abandonment fears, people-pleasing, grief, emotional healing, or wondered why healthy love feels uncomfortable, this episode is for you. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.comFollow us here:http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-2448PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105Cover Art Design: Louie PaolettiTheme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: grief, therapy, codependency, self-sabotage, fear of abandonment, attachment styles, childhood trauma, emotional healing, love addiction (SLAA), relationships, mental health, vulnerability, recovery, loss, and personal growth.

    I'm In The Business of Misery | #139
  6. Jul 20

    Beach Camping and a Control Freak | #138

    Support the boys:PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodMERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ Can you ever truly let go of control? This week on Secondhand Therapy, Louie shares what surprised him most after trying camping for the first time in decades. Away from mirrors, screens, and the constant pace of everyday life, he discovers an unexpected sense of stillness that sparks a much deeper conversation. From there, Michael opens up about a major breakthrough in therapy around control, anxiety, perfectionism, and the exhausting need to predict every possible outcome. Together, they explore how hypervigilance, codependency, people-pleasing, and childhood survival strategies can turn everyday decisions into overwhelming mental battles—and what it takes to begin letting go. They also discuss Internal Family Systems (IFS), parts work, body image, self-consciousness, nervous system regulation, mindfulness, and why learning to tolerate uncertainty may be one of the hardest—and most healing—skills we can develop. If you've ever struggled with overthinking, anxiety, perfectionism, control issues, or feeling like your brain never stops planning for the worst, this episode is for you. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.comFollow us here:http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-2448PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105Cover Art Design: Louie PaolettiTheme Music: Jamie Franks Topics: anxiety, control, overthinking, perfectionism, Internal Family Systems (IFS), parts work, codependency, people pleasing, nervous system healing, emotional healing, self-worth, mindfulness, camping, therapy, mental health podcast.

    Beach Camping and a Control Freak | #138
  7. Jul 13

    Parts Work & A Gay Wedding | #137

    Support the boys:PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodMERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ We unpack why rejection hurts even when you don't want what you were rejected from. What begins as a conversation about not being invited to a wedding turns into a deeper exploration of ego, attachment, validation, friendship, and the stories we tell ourselves when we feel left out. Then the conversation shifts into an eye-opening therapy session using Parts Work (Internal Family Systems / IFS), where hidden emotional "parts" begin to reveal themselves. Anxiety, anger, people pleasing, emotional suppression, and fear of conflict all collide in an honest discussion about why expressing anger can feel so dangerous—and how childhood conditioning can shape the way we react as adults. If you've ever struggled with rejection sensitivity, conflict avoidance, emotional regulation, overthinking, anxiety, or understanding your own emotional triggers, this episode will probably feel uncomfortably familiar. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.comFollow us here:http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-2448PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105Cover Art Design: Louie PaolettiTheme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: Parts Work (IFS), Internal Family Systems therapy, anxiety, anger, emotional healing, rejection, friendship, people pleasing, attachment, emotional regulation, trauma responses, boundaries, therapy, self-awareness, vulnerability, relationships, personal growth, mental health, emotional intelligence, and healing childhood patterns.

    Parts Work & A Gay Wedding | #137
  8. Jul 6

    Toxic F*ckhead Island | #136

    Support the boys:PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodMERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ This week on Secondhand Therapy, we spiral through the chaos of modern dating, emotional wounds, and why so many of us confuse being chosen with actually choosing. What starts as a breakdown of Love Island turns into a deeper conversation about jealousy, codependency, attachment styles, rejection trauma, emotional accountability, toxic relationship patterns, and the psychology of needing validation. Lou and Michael unpack how childhood conditioning shapes adult relationships, why some people feel they have to earn love, and what happens when anger feels too dangerous to express. From dating red flags to emotional regulation, vulnerability, anxious attachment, self-worth, and healing old wounds—this episode blends therapy talk with comedy in the way only Secondhand Therapy can. _____ BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.comFollow us here:http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-2448PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105Cover Art Design: Louie PaolettiTheme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: dating anxiety, relationship advice, emotional intelligence, trauma bonding, people pleasing, abandonment wounds, men’s mental health, self-worth, attachment theory, love addiction, and healing from childhood trauma.

    Toxic F*ckhead Island | #136
4.7
out of 5
195 Ratings

About

Secondhand Therapy is a funny, honest mental health podcast where two unlicensed best friends unpack their weekly therapy sessions. Join Louie Paoletti and Michael Malone as they explore anxiety, ADHD, grief, masculinity, and emotional growth—with humor, heart, and total transparency. Each episode blends raw self-reflection with real time takes on therapy, trauma, relationships, and the messy process of healing. It’s real talk about mental health in the modern world, and why personal growth is so damn hard.

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