Self-Coaching

Dr. Joe Luciani

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A revolutionary, new approach to alleviating life’s emotional struggles

2월 8일

Be Yourself. Stop Living a Lie

Living a lie usually isn’t intentional. It grows out of a long-standing habit of feeling that, somehow, you’re just not okay as you are. To manage that feeling, you learn to monitor yourself, avoid conflict, and keep parts of who you are hidden to feel safe. Over time, adapting and self-editing can start to feel like maturity or self-control, rather than a cover-up. Over time, that way of living creates pressure. Constant self-monitoring can lead to anxiety, chronic tension, and a feeling of never fully being at ease. Decisions start revolving around what won’t upset, won’t expose, or won’t risk rejection. This Self-Coaching podcast looks at how that pattern takes hold—and how learning to be yourself again can ease anxiety and restore a sense of freedom and self-trust.

20분
1월 28일

Why therapy doesn’t always work

Therapy works. It can reduce suffering, offer clarity, and help people feel less alone in their pain. And yet, many thoughtful, self-aware people quietly ask a question they’re almost embarrassed to voice: If I understand myself so well, why hasn’t my life really changed? In this episode, I explore why therapy doesn’t always work—not because it fails outright, but because relief, insight, and safety are often mistaken for transformation. Feeling better is real progress, but it isn’t the same as living differently. In this Self-Coaching episode, we’ll look at how therapy can unintentionally become palliative—soothing distress without interrupting the habits that keep recreating it—why insight alone rarely sets us free, and how understanding the past can sometimes delay change in the present. This isn’t an attack on therapy. It’s an honest examination of its limits, and a conversation for anyone who’s been “doing the work” and still feels stuck. If you’ve ever wondered whether therapy is helping you cope—or helping you change—this episode is for you.

24분
1월 13일

Why everything feels harder than it should

Life often feels hard, not because something is wrong, but because we carry more into each moment than the moment requires. We’re rarely just living; we’re evaluating, interpreting, and judging how we’re doing while we live. That constant self-monitoring turns ordinary tasks into tests and quietly drains energy, leaving us tired even when nothing is falling apart. In this Self-Coaching episode, I explore why much of our struggle comes not from life itself, but from the overlay of insecurity we add to it. When we stop treating every moment as a measure of our worth, something lightens. Life doesn’t become easy—but it becomes more manageable, more honest, and less exhausting.

18분
1월 5일

Why time seems to fly the older you get

This podcast explores the psychology behind why time seems to fly as we get older. We don’t experience time directly—we experience moments. When life becomes routine and automatic, those moments blur together, and time appears to disappear. But when we’re present, attentive, and engaged, moments leave an imprint—and time expands. This Self-Coaching episode looks at how attention, memory, and presence shape our experience of time, and how reclaiming even small moments can change the way life feels.

16분
2025. 12. 11.

The winter mind: How shorter days distort our perspective

In this Self-Coaching episode, I explore what I call the “winter mind”—the subtle psychological shift that occurs as daylight shrinks and our internal sense of possibility shrinks with it. Shorter days don’t just affect our energy; they quietly distort our interpretations, making ordinary stresses feel heavier and old insecurities feel more convincing. I discuss how this seasonal contraction interacts with the habit of insecurity, why our thoughts sound more personal in the quiet of winter, and how small acts of intentional warmth—what Norwegians call koselig—can counter the distortion and restore perspective. Through practical Self-Coaching steps, I show how to meet winter’s narrowing with clarity, steadiness, and renewed trust in your capacity to navigate life as it is, not as the season would have you believe.

20분
2025. 11. 23.

Thanksgiving Therapy

This isn’t your typical “holiday episode.” Thanksgiving has a surprising way of slowing us down, even when we try to outrun it. The gathering, the familiar faces, the rituals—we don’t realize how much they interrupt our usual rushed, distracted rhythm. For one day, life pulls us back into connection, memory, and emotional reality. In this Self-Coaching episode, I explore why Thanksgiving hits harder than any other day of the year and how it quietly resets us. The warmth, the chaos, even the bittersweet moments all bring us back to what truly matters. It’s a rare chance to step out of autopilot, feel the day, and reconnect with the people and traditions that help us remember who we are.

17분
2025. 11. 10.

Compared to Others, How Do I Know If I’m Okay Enough? Normal Enough?

In this Self-Coaching episode we explore the quiet, relentless habit of measuring ourselves against everyone around us. Whether it’s feeling outmatched in a conversation, watching how easily others seem to navigate life, or seeing social-media posts that make your own progress feel small, comparison turns ordinary moments into silent self-judgments. But these doubts aren’t really about being “normal”—they’re about seeking reassurance that we’re okay, worthy, and not falling behind. Using Self-Coaching principles, we break down why comparison feels so instinctive, how it distorts our sense of self, and how to shift from external measuring sticks to internal self-trust. You don’t become “enough” by matching others—you become enough by reclaiming your own path.

22분
2025. 10. 13.

Ending the habit of self-criticism

You know that little voice in your head—the one that never seems to miss a chance to remind you of what you did wrong, what you should’ve said, or how you’ll probably mess up again? That’s self-criticism, or worse, self-rejection. And for many of us, it’s not just an occasional visitor—it’s a full-time companion. We’ve gotten so used to berating ourselves that we mistake it for motivation, as if tearing ourselves down will somehow push us to do better. But it never does. It only deepens our insecurity and distances us from our authentic self. The truth is, self-criticism is a learned habit—an internalized voice of fear and self-doubt that’s been running unchecked for years. Maybe it started as a way to protect yourself from failure or rejection—“If I’m hard on myself, no one else can hurt me.” But over time, that protective instinct turns cruel. It becomes the habit of self-rejection, a quiet betrayal of who you really are. In today’s episode, we’ll explore where this voice comes from, why it feels so powerful, and most importantly—how to begin breaking free from it. Because ending the habit of self-criticism isn’t about becoming perfect or endlessly positive—it’s about reclaiming your right to be human, to be imperfect, and to treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer anyone you love.

14분

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A revolutionary, new approach to alleviating life’s emotional struggles

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Dr. Joe Luciani
방송 연도

2020년 - 2026년
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232
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© 2020 by Joseph J. Luciani, Ph.D.
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Self-Coaching