Temporally Scripted

Temporally Scripted
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  • SOCIETY & CULTURE

Ever notice how the people who claim to have all the answers usually have the most boring lives? We spent our twenties in underground clubs and festival fields, then built businesses in Vietnam. Now we're watching Western culture implode from 8,000 miles away. From historical figures to simulation theory, from AI's impact to why clever people often end up miserable - we tackle questions that keep curious minds awake. We're not experts claiming to have it all figured out, just two guys navigating a complicated world. This isn't about optimisation or morning routines. This is for people who know the best insights come from strange places. New episodes of Temporally Scripted are available every Saturday. Join your slightly questionable guides to personal growth. Your reality might never be the same.

  1. 4D AGO

    America Invades Iran, Police Work From Home & $23K Cat Feeding Hustle

    Send a text America's gone into Iran, killed the Supreme Leader, and sent an armada to the Middle East. We're breaking down what's actually happening, the insane cost of shooting down $20K drones with $3M missiles, and whether this turns into another decades-long mess like Iraq and Afghanistan. This week on Temporally Scripted, we're covering the Iran situation (and why Trump's midterms might depend on it), Ed Davey saying tax exiles in Dubai don't deserve help getting home, a UK police sergeant fired for using a picture frame to hold down laptop keys while "working from home," and why the British government fundamentally doesn't care about expats. Then we're talking about a pet worker who made $23,000 in 8 days feeding cats during Lunar New Year, an Australian Pastafarian fighting to keep his colander driving license photo, and our Top 5 Japanese-Only Emotions — words for feelings we don't have in English, from the ache of impermanence to buying books you'll never read. Plus: Winston Churchill's daily alcohol intake (it's alarming), why South Korea went from nothing to economic powerhouse while Iran went backwards, and whether working harder actually makes you luckier. New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you're still here. CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro & Iran Supreme Leader Job Opening 04:00 – America Invades Iran: What's Actually Happening 13:00 – The Cost Of War: $3M Missiles vs $20K Drones 21:00 – Trump's Leadership vs Modern Politicians 28:00 – Ed Davey: Tax Exiles Don't Deserve Help 36:00 – South Korea vs Iran: Development In Reverse 40:00 – UK Police Sergeant Fired For Working From Home Scam 47:00 – $23K Cat Feeding Hustle During Lunar New Year 50:00 – Pastafarian Fights For Colander License Photo 53:00 – Top 5 Japanese-Only Emotions We Need In English #Iran #MiddleEast #Trump #UKPolitics #TaxExiles #WorkFromHome #LunarNewYear #JapaneseLanguage #TemporallyScripted #Podcast Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    1h 1m

  2. MAR 2

    BBC Left Tourette's Slur Unedited For 12 Hours & Thai Police Dress As Lions To Catch Criminals

    Send a text Prince Andrew's is now banned from riding horses. Because nothing says "I'm innocent" like giving up your favorite hobby on PR advice from your team. This week on Temporally Scripted, we're diving deeper into the Epstein files (it gets darker), the BAFTA Awards Tourette's incident that the BBC "accidentally" left unedited for 12 hours, and UK police now using Palantir AI to analyze digital evidence - because what could go wrong? Then we're talking about Google Maps labeling businesses as "woman-owned" and "LGBTQ+ friendly" (mate, everywhere should be), UK dual nationality passports now costing £589, Thai police catching burglars while dressed as a lion dance crew, and a Sicilian genius who trained his dog to fly-tip for him. Plus: why the UK is fundamentally broken with 70 million people and systems designed for 58 million, virtual reality as population control, and our Top 5 Ice Age Animals That Sound Fake But Were Real - including a 4-ton ground sloth and beavers the size of bears. New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you're still here after all that. CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro 00:05 – Prince Andrew Banned From Horses 06:00 – Epstein Files Get Even Darker (Jerky, Missing Kids & Jimmy Savile) 18:00 – BAFTA Tourette's Incident & BBC's 12-Hour "Mistake" 23:00 – Woman-Owned Vegan Coffee Shops & LGBTQ+ Labels 31:00 – UK Police Using Palantir AI For Evidence Analysis 36:00 – UK Immigration Crisis: 70 Million People, Victorian Infrastructure 47:00 – Dual Nationality Passports Now Cost £589 50:00 – Thai Police Catch Burglar Dressed As Lions 51:00 – Sicilian Man Trains Dog To Fly-Tip 53:00 – Top 5 Ice Age Animals (Woolly Mammoths, Saber Tooth Tigers & Giant Beavers) #PrinceAndrew #EpsteinFiles #UKPolitics #Palantir #AI #Immigration #TemporallyScripted #BAFTA #IceAge #Podcast Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    1h 1m

  3. FEB 24

    Prince Andrew Arrested On His 60th Birthday & AI Will Keep You Posting After Death

    Send a text Prince Andrew arrested on his 60th birthday. Mate, you can't write this stuff. The first royal arrest since King Charles I in the 17th century, and Thames Valley Police picked the day he turned 60 to do it.  We're discussing what happens next, whether he'll actually face consequences, and if the Royal Family finally cuts him loose. This week on Temporarily Scripted, we're unpacking the Andrew arrest (including the suspicious fine art van that left his property), the new Hillsborough Law that makes it illegal for ministers to lie to the public — but somehow MPs are exempt — and whether Keir Starmer survives his 17th U-turn. Then we're talking Meta's new patent that lets them simulate dead users and keep their accounts active posthumously (because grief wasn't complicated enough), smart underwear that tracks your farts for gut health monitoring, and our Top 5 Weird UK Laws That Are Actually True — including why you can't be drunk in a pub and when it's legal to beat your doormat in the street. Plus: Larry the Cat for Prime Minister, why Trump called what happened to Andrew "a very sad thing," and the paradox of the no-wipe situation. New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you're enjoying the show. CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro & Tet Holiday Stories 03:00 – Prince Andrew Arrested On His 60th Birthday 13:00 – The Hillsborough Law: Illegal To Lie (Unless You're An MP) 23:00 – Labor's 17 U-Turns & The Lowest Approval Rating Ever 28:00 – Larry The Cat Should Be Prime Minister 33:00 – Is Reform Actually Going To Win? 37:00 – Meta's Patent To Keep Dead People Posting 44:00 – Smart Underwear That Tracks Your Farts 49:00 – Top 5 Weird UK Laws (Drunk In Pubs, Kite Flying & Doormats) #PrinceAndrew #RoyalArrest #UKPolitics #KeirStarmer #MetaAI #HillsboroughLaw #LarryTheCat #Reform #TemporarilyScripted #CurrentAffairs #Podcast Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    58 min

  4. FEB 16

    Prince Andrew, AI Psychosis & Why The Moon Rings Like A Bell

    Send a text The Epstein files saga just got deeper. Andrew Mountbatten Windsor — formerly known as the Duke of York, formerly known as Prince Andrew, formerly known as... no wait, that's someone else — is now under formal investigation by Thames Valley Police for allegedly leaking UK trade secrets to Jeffrey Epstein.  And the Royal Family broke their centuries-old media silence during a state visit to address it. We're talking treason-level allegations here. This week on Temporarily Scripted, we're unpacking the Andrew investigation, why the "safely released" WhatsApp messages from cabinet ministers are anything but safe, and whether insider trading at the top is just how the game works  (spoiler: it probably is, but that doesn't make it okay). Then we're diving into AI psychosis — the guy who spiraled so hard into ChatGPT dependence he ended up homeless. Is it a real thing or just someone with underlying issues?  Plus: Green Day softening their politics at the Super Bowl, why Adam had to quit Cat GPT, and whether celebrities should just shut up and play guitar. Finally, we celebrate David Rush reclaiming his chair-balancing world record (1 hour 20 minutes on his chin, absolute legend) and our Top 5 Weirdest Things  About the Moon — because it's Lunar New Year and the moon is genuinely mental. New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you're enjoying the show. CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro & Alleyway Memories 02:00 – Prince Andrew Investigation: Epstein Files Deepens 10:00 – Is Insider Trading Just How Politics Works? 16:00 – WhatsApp Messages & "Safe" Document Releases 19:00 – AI Psychosis: Can ChatGPT Ruin Your Life? 27:00 – Green Day, The Super Bowl & Celebrity Politics 34:00 – David Rush's Chair Balancing Record 36:00 – Top 5 Weirdest Things About The Moon #EpsteinFiles #PrinceAndrew #RoyalFamily #AIpsychosis #ChatGPT #UKPolitics #SuperBowl #GreenDay #MoonFacts #LunarNewYear #Podcast #TemporarilyScripted #CurrentAffairs Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    59 min

  5. FEB 9

    Mandelson, Epstein & The Files That Changed Everything

    Send a text What a week. The Epstein files have dropped and it's absolutely mental. 3 million documents, connections to everyone from Mandelson to the Royal Family, and some of it reads wilder than fiction. This week on Temporarily Scripted, we're digging into what's actually in the files — insider trading allegations, government agency ties, and what it means for Keir Starmer's decision to appoint Mandelson as UK Ambassador to the US despite MI6 warnings. Then we're talking AI agents building their own social media platform called Malt Book (1.5 million bots and counting), why AI is making all content beige, and whether the AI bubble is sustainable and what the economic signs are pointing to. Plus: the TSA's annual plea to stop hiding turtles in your pants, giant ice age kangaroos that would absolutely destroy you, and our Top 5 World Leader Gaffs featuring Reagan, Bush, and Starmer's legendary sausage moment. New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you enjoy the show — tell your mates. CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro 02:00 – The Epstein Files: Mandelson, Gates & Global Connections 16:00 – AI Agents Build Their Own Reddit 26:00 – Is AI Making Everything the Same? 34:00 – Stop Hiding Animals in Your Trousers 37:00 – Giant Ice Age Kangaroos 42:00 – Top 5 World Leader Gaffs #EpsteinFiles #Mandelson #AIAgents #MaltBook #TopFive #UKPolitics #CurrentAffairs #Podcast #TemporarilyScripted #WeeklyNews Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    50 min

  6. JAN 25

    Cow Uses Tools, Elephant Kills 22 People & The Welsh Health Ambassador Controversy

    Send a text ⚡ EPISODE 41! Solar storms mess with Jack's crystals, Johnson & Johnson faces 67,500 cancer lawsuits, and a one-tusked elephant in India has killed 22 people. Plus: AI caught memorizing entire copyrighted books word-for-word. ⏰ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Intro - Solar Storms & Jingling Crystals 03:00 Solar Flares Could Send Us to Stone Age 10:00 Johnson & Johnson Talc: 67,500 Cancer Cases 15:00 Welsh Health Ambassador Sparks Controversy 18:00 UK Plans to Ban Social Media for Under-16s 32:00 AI Caught Stealing Copyrighted Books 42:00 Cow Named Veronica Learns to Use Tools 47:00 One-Tusked Elephant: India's Serial Killer 52:00 🪙 TOP 5 WEIRD CURRENCIES FROM HISTORY 🪙 📰 MAIN STORIES COVERED: ⚡ **SOLAR STORM WARNING** Carrington Event-level solar storm could wipe out satellites, collapse power grids, and send 20-40 million Americans into blackout for months/years. Last time this happened (1859), telegraph wires sparked and caught fire. Now? Everything electronic gets fried. Jack's crystals are very concerned. 💊 **JOHNSON & JOHNSON TALC SCANDAL** Federal judge allows experts to testify that talc causes ovarian cancer. 67,500 lawsuits pending. They've switched from talc to cornstarch, but the damage is done. We discuss why baby powder might've been poisoning babies while execs knew about it. 🏥 **HEALTH MINISTER HYPOCRISY** Welsh Health Ambassador appointment sparks outrage. We compare to Belgian Health Minister. Augustus Gloop's twin sister? Body positivity until ozempic came out? We discuss the irony. 📱 **SOCIAL MEDIA BAN FOR UNDER-16s** UK follows Australia in planning social media ban for teens. We debate: Is this safety or censorship? Will it lead to mandatory digital IDs? Why not force platforms to change algorithms instead of banning kids? 🤖 **AI COPYRIGHT BOMBSHELL** Study proves GPT-4, Gemini, Claude memorized entire copyrighted books. They can reproduce them 70%+ accurately. We test it live. SUNO scraped all of YouTube's music without permission. Digital gold rush with zero consequences. 🐄 **COW USES TOOLS** Veronica the cow (age 13, Austria) learns to use brooms to scratch herself. Uses brush end for some spots, round end for others. We're not top of food chain anymore. 🐘 **INDIA'S SERIAL KILLER ELEPHANT** One-tusked bull elephant kills 22 people since early January. Covers 30km/day. 100+ forest personnel searching. Not a stampede - individual targeted attacks. Separated from herd, highly aggressive, evades tranquilizers. 2,800+ elephant deaths in India over 5 years due to deforestation. 💡 KEY DISCUSSIONS: - Why talc lobbyist is worse than gun/tobacco lobbyists - Whether Trump's Greenland threats were negotiation tactics - If drunk elephants are more dangerous than sober ones - The Cannibal Cookbook on Amazon (3.4 stars) - Why cornflakes were invented to stop masturbation 🔬 SCIENCE FACTS: - 1859 Carrington Event made night become day - Faraday cages protect from solar storms (your car might work) - Talc is hydrated magnesium silicate (sounds poisonous) - Crows and magpies can use tools (smarter than cows) - Elephants cover 30km/day when hunting humans Don't forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and hit the BELL 🔔 for more weekly chaos! Fun fact: This episode was recorded during a solar storm. Apologies if it affected our brain function. #Talc #JohnsonAndJohnson #SolarStorm #AI #Copyright #SerialKillerElephant #India #HealthMi Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    1h 2m

  7. JAN 18

    55 MPH Wheelie Bin Breaks World Record + China's AI Breakthrough & Brain Powder Exposed

    Send a text 🎉 EPISODE 40! From yogurt conspiracies to 55mph wheelie bins - we've officially lost the plot. Today: Keir Starmer's latest U-turn, creatine as "brain powder," China's AI leap, and the British engineer who made a wheelie bin go faster than most mopeds. ⏰ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Intro - Episode 40! Adam Makes Yogurt 05:00 Keir Starmer's Brick Card U-Turn (Again) 13:00 Creatine: The "Brain Powder" Superfood? 23:00 China Closing the AI Gap (Without US Chips) 35:00 Golden Globes Now Include Podcasts 42:00 Parachuting Beavers: Idaho's 1948 Wildlife Drop 46:00 55 MPH Wheelie Bin Breaks World Record 54:00 🌴 TOP 5 FLORIDA MAN HEADLINES 🌴 📰 MAIN STORIES COVERED: 🗳️ **Brick Card U-Turn** Keir Starmer backs down on mandatory digital IDs until 2029. We discuss why Brits are angrier than when someone cuts the queue, Tony Blair's influence, and whether this is just another U-turn in the "more positions than Kamasutra" saga. 🧠 **Creatine: Brain Powder or Marketing Hype?** BBC Science Focus claims creatine helps: gym performance, cognitive function, sleep deprivation, AND might reverse brain aging by 5 years. We discuss macro-dosing (20 grams!), whether it's too good to be true, and Jack's business idea to rebrand it as "Brain Powder" for premium pricing. 🇨🇳 **China's AI Breakthrough** China says they're closing the gap on US AI dominance through "risk-taking and innovation" (and cheap energy to run inferior chips at scale). Did Venezuela's defense failure expose Chinese tech limitations? Is it all WWE-style posturing? 🎬 **Podcasts Hit the Golden Globes** Mainstream media finally admits internet content matters. We reminisce about Ricky Gervais, The 11 O'Clock Show, and why Michael Barrymore is now a TikTok star buying munchies while baked. 🦫 **1948: Parachuting Beavers** Idaho relocated 76 beavers by dropping them from planes in boxes with parachutes. The boxes opened on impact and beavers ran off to "re-beaver" the area. Jack's disappointed they weren't wearing tiny parachutes individually. 🗑️ **55 MPH Wheelie Bin World Record** Michael Warhead from York beats Andy Jennings' 2001 record (45mph) with a 55mph wheelie bin. Claims he's hit 66mph privately (unverified). Ed the Shed has competition. British engineering at its finest. 🎂 SPECIAL MENTION: Adam turns 44 tomorrow! Jack says he'd put him "a day above 42." Happy birthday mate! Don't forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and hit the BELL 🔔 for more weekly chaos! Google "your birthday + Florida Man" and tell us what you find in the comments! 👇 #WheelieAin #Creatine #BrainPowder #FloridaMan #BritishEngineering #KeirStarmer #ChinaAI #Episode40 --- Temporally Scripted - 40 episodes of making yogurt and breaking wheelie bin records Aging like David Beckham (or milk, depending who you ask) 🧀 Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    1h 2m

  8. JAN 11

    Are Psychopaths Born Evil? Plus Venezuela Chaos & Victorian Tapeworm Weight Loss

    Send a text 🎯 HAPPY NEW YEAR 2026! Our first episode of the year covers Trump's audacious Venezuela move, whether psychopaths are born or made, and ChatGPT's surprisingly boring "human for a day" fantasy.  Plus: stolen valor, Birmingham's phantom fireworks, and the Victorian diet where you just... swallow a tapeworm. ⏰ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Intro - New Year, Less Road Rage, More Chaos 01:00 Venezuela Crisis: US Intervention & Maduro's Overthrow 16:00 Are Psychopaths Born or Made? BBC Science Deep Dive 24:30 ChatGPT's Human Fantasy vs Grok's Wild Day Out 35:00 Fake Admiral & Stolen Valor at Remembrance Sunday 42:00 Birmingham's Fireworks No-Show (Again!) 51:00 🍽️ TOP 5 FAD DIETS THAT SOUND PUB-INVENTED 🍽️ 📰 MAIN STORIES COVERED: 🇻🇪 **Venezuela/US Intervention** Trump makes unprecedented move into Venezuela. We discuss oil reserves, Bitcoin seizures (billions!), Chinese relations, and whether this is the start of a new geopolitical chess game. Is it about oil, cartels, or something bigger? Plus: our ChatGPT scenario planning sessions. 🧠 **Psychopaths: Born or Made?** BBC Science Focus argues psychopathy is genetic, not environmental. We debate why evolution might NEED psychopaths in society (surgeons, explorers, military leaders). Dark but fascinating discussion on the spectrum of human behavior. 🤖 **ChatGPT vs Grok: "If I Were Human"** Jack's ChatGPT (named Kai) gives a sickeningly sweet response about making coffee slowly and people-watching. Grok? Wants to eat everything, get sunburned on purpose, ride motorbikes through traffic, and pet every dog. Clear winner. ⚓ **Fake Admiral Stolen Valor** 65-year-old turns up to Remembrance Sunday dressed as an admiral with full decorations. Gets caught because one medal hadn't been awarded in 40 years. His defense? "Wanted a sense of belonging." £500 fine. 🎆 **Birmingham's Phantom Fireworks** For the SECOND year running, thousands show up for New Year's fireworks that don't exist. Council forgot to tell anyone. Again. Social media rumors strike again. Don't forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and hit the BELL 🔔 for more weekly chaos! We're up to 27 subscribers - help us hit 30 by our one-year anniversary in March! 🎯 #Venezuela #Psychopaths #ChatGPT #StolenValor #FadDiets #TapewormDiet #News #Podcast #2026 --- Temporally Scripted - Where geopolitics meets Victorian tapeworms First episode of 2026! Less horny (road rage), more analysis 🚗 Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    1h 4m
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About

Ever notice how the people who claim to have all the answers usually have the most boring lives? We spent our twenties in underground clubs and festival fields, then built businesses in Vietnam. Now we're watching Western culture implode from 8,000 miles away. From historical figures to simulation theory, from AI's impact to why clever people often end up miserable - we tackle questions that keep curious minds awake. We're not experts claiming to have it all figured out, just two guys navigating a complicated world. This isn't about optimisation or morning routines. This is for people who know the best insights come from strange places. New episodes of Temporally Scripted are available every Saturday. Join your slightly questionable guides to personal growth. Your reality might never be the same.

Information

  • Creator
    Temporally Scripted
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    46
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Temporally Scripted
  • Show Website
    Temporally Scripted