Temporally Scripted

Temporally Scripted

Ever notice how the people who claim to have all the answers usually have the most boring lives? We spent our twenties in underground clubs and festival fields, then built businesses in Vietnam. Now we're watching Western culture implode from 8,000 miles away. From historical figures to simulation theory, from AI's impact to why clever people often end up miserable - we tackle questions that keep curious minds awake. We're not experts claiming to have it all figured out, just two guys navigating a complicated world. This isn't about optimisation or morning routines. This is for people who know the best insights come from strange places. New episodes of Temporally Scripted are available every Saturday. Join your slightly questionable guides to personal growth. Your reality might never be the same.

  1. 12/24/2025

    Our Festive Special: Weight Loss Drugs, Driverless Cars & Christmas Disasters

    Send us a text 🎄 MERRY CHRISTMAS from Temporally Scripted! 🎄 Our festive special covers everything from Ozempic launching in India to robo-taxis invading London, plus the most chaotic Christmas blunders in history. Grab your eggnog and settle in! 🎅 TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Intro - Festive Vibes & Dollar Store Christmas Trees 03:06 Ozempic Launches in India at $24.35/Week 12:03 Robo-Taxis Coming to London in 2026 23:12 AI Designs This Guy's Perfect Morning Routine 36:30 Metal Detectorist Finds 15,000 Roman Coins in Wales 42:07 British Baker Triggers Mexico with Bread Comments 48:14 World's Oldest Pet Worm Turns 27 50:57 Burrowing Owls Accidentally Cruise to Barcelona 56:32 🎄 TOP 5 CHRISTMAS BLUNDERS 🎄 📰 MAIN STORIES COVERED: 💊 **Ozempic in India** - Weight loss drug now available for $100/month. Is it cheating or life-saving? We debate. 🚗 **London Robo-Taxis** - Uber & Lyft bringing driverless cars to UK streets in 2026. Made by Chinese company Baidu. What could go wrong? 🤖 **AI Morning Routines** - Man uses ChatGPT to redesign his mornings. Spoiler: it worked better than expected. 🪙 **15,000 Roman Coins Found** - David Moss discovers massive treasure hoard in North Wales. But who gets to keep it? 🥖 **British Baker vs Mexico** - Green Rhino Bakery co-founder sparks cultural war by criticizing Mexican bread culture. 🪱 **27-Year-Old Worm** - Meet Basio Discus (aka "B"), the world's oldest ribbon worm. Living his best life. 🦉 **Owls on Cruise Ship** - Two burrowing owls hitchhike from US to Barcelona. Accidental invasion? 🎄 **FESTIVE TOP 5: CHRISTMAS BLUNDERS** 1. **1955 - Santa's Hotline Mix-Up** - Sears ad misprints number, kids call NORAD instead. They've been tracking Santa ever since. 2. **2011 - Norway Runs Out of Butter** - Black market butter dealers and smuggling across Swedish border. 3. **2016 - Domino's Reindeer Delivery Fail** - Japan tries pizza delivery by real reindeer. Reindeer say no. 4. **2012 - Morrison's Toxic Pudding Ad** - Boy feeds dog Christmas pudding. Vets go ballistic. 5. **1997/98 - Two Jack Frosts** - Families traumatized when they rent horror movie instead of heartwarming Michael Keaton film. 💡 KEY DEBATES: - Is Ozempic cheating or a medical miracle? - Should Britain ban Chinese robo-taxis over spy concerns? - Can AI actually improve your life or just your morning routine? - Why won't Norway send us a decent Christmas tree? 🎁 SPECIAL FESTIVE TOUCHES: - Jack's $1 Christmas tree vs Adam's $2.50 tree - Discussion of Ed the Shed (Britain's greatest inventor) - Why velociraptors would solve obesity crisis - The proper way to provocatively wave salmon Don't forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and hit the BELL 🔔 for more weekly chaos! Leave a comment wishing us a Merry Christmas and help us reach our ambitious goal of 30 subscribers in 2026! 🎯 #Christmas #Ozempic #RoboTaxis #AI #Mexico #London #Festive #Podcast #News --- Temporally Scripted - Where news meets Christmas pudding and pet worms Nearly 40 episodes down, infinity to go! 🎄 Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    1h 5m

  2. 12/14/2025

    £12 Billion COVID Fraud Exposed + Chernobyl's Mutant Animals Are Evolving

    Send us a text A baby seal walks into a bar... no really, it happened. Plus: the UK's staggering COVID fraud scandal, mutant animals thriving in Chernobyl, and a 61-year-old legend who built a 123mph garden shed.  🔥 TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Intro - Old People, Missing Billions & Bar Seals 01:00 France's Aging Crisis: 1 in 3 Will Be Over 65 by 2070 05:00 COVID Money Scandal: £11 Billion Lost to Fraud 11:00 Chernobyl's Evolution Miracle: Black Frogs & Radioactive Dogs 23:00 Ed the Shed: World's Fastest Shed at 123 MPH 33:00 Baby Seal Walks Into Craft Beer Bar 43:00 This Week in History: Top 5 Historical Events 📰 STORIES COVERED: - France's demographic time bomb and pension crisis - UK's £11 billion COVID fraud - where did the money go? - Chernobyl's animals are evolving to survive radiation - British legend builds world's fastest shed (with a TVR engine!) - Adorable seal hides under bar dishwasher in New Zealand 💡 KEY TAKEAWAYS: - By 2070, 1 in 3 French citizens will be over 65 - Much of the UK's COVID support fraud is "beyond recovery" - Animals near Chernobyl are genetically distinct after just 40 years - The Universal Declaration of Human Rights was adopted this week in 1948 📖 READ THE FULL STORIES: 🇫🇷 France's Aging Population Crisis: https://www.reuters.com/business/france-faces-pandemic-level-spending-support-ageing-population-audit-office-says-2025-12-02/ 💷 UK COVID Fraud Scandal: https://news.sky.com/story/covid-schemes-fraud-and-error-cost-taxpayers-11bn-13481207 ☢️ Chernobyl's Mutant Animals: https://www.newspointapp.com/english/city/chernobyl-weird-mutations-include-colour-changing-frogs-and-rapidly-evolving-dogs-Daily-mirror_english/articleshow/14504820b5e4e57a6250c6c11da5f975a026f5ed 🦭 Seal Walks Into Bar: https://apnews.com/article/seal-bar-new-zealand-pub-richmond-487e2a8207c9f0e69be79ac7eb8045c0 🚗 World's Fastest Shed: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cp85164r85mo Don't forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and hit the BELL 🔔 for more weekly news analysis with a side of British sarcasm! #News #CurrentEvents #Chernobyl #COVID #Podcast #UKNews #Evolution #Science --- Temporally Scripted - Your weekly dose of world news without the doom and gloom (well, mostly) Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    54 min

  3. 12/08/2025

    Physicists Just Proved We're NOT Living in a Simulation

    Send us a text Physicists at UBC claim they've mathematically ruled out the simulation hypothesis. Plus: a judge got fired for wearing an Elvis wig to court. Jack Austin and Adam Garcia explore whether reality is real, why Carl Jung is trending on TikTok, and a raccoon that got blackout drunk in a liquor store. **This episode:** ✓ UBC physicists say simulation theory is mathematically impossible ✓ Carl Jung's shadow work hits 2.3 billion TikTok views ✓ Missouri judge forced to resign over Elvis courtroom antics ✓ Raccoon breaks into liquor store, passes out in toilet ✓ Top 5 words of the year (spoiler: it's all AI) **Top 5 Words of 2024:** 1. Parasocial (Cambridge) - one-sided celebrity relationships 2. Vibe-coding (Collins) - programming with feelings not code 3. AI slop (Macquarie) - mass-produced AI garbage 4. Rage bait (Oxford) - content designed to make you angry 5. 6-7 (Dictionary.com) - Gen Z's meaningless in-group marker **Key insights:** "If you zoom in or out infinitely, it just keeps changing forever" "We're at the same point as the 1850s - the system needs to be destroyed and rebuilt" **Quote of the episode:** "Thank you very much" - Judge in Elvis wig after sentencing **Sources:** - Simulation study: Science Daily/UBC Physics - Carl Jung TikTok trend: Psychology Today - Elvis judge: Missouri court records - Drunk raccoon: Sky News **Timestamps:** 00:00 We're NOT in a simulation 00:11 Jack does a pull-up 00:21 Carl Jung on TikTok 00:32 Elvis judge fired 00:35 Drunk raccoon disaster 00:39 Top 5 words of 2024 🎧 Weekly episodes 💬 Is reality really real? 🔔 Subscribe for unfiltered commentary #Simulation #Physics #CarlJung #TikTok #Elvis #Judge #Raccoon #AI #News #Podcast #TemporallyScripted Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    48 min

  4. 11/30/2025

    Facebook's Secret Study: Our Platform Makes You Depressed

    Send us a text 30,000 people paid $6 for boxes of actual cow dung on Black Friday. Meanwhile, Facebook buried a study proving their platform causes depression. Jack Austin and Adam Garcia uncover Meta's hidden mental health research and count down the wildest Black Friday disasters. **This Week's Stories:** ✓ Facebook's buried "Project Mercury" study on mental health damage ✓ UK considers scrapping jury trials for crimes under 5 years ✓ Cornwall man's Mini Cooper swallowed by sinkhole overnight ✓ Satoshi's Bitcoin fortune drops $41 billion ✓ Chinese man wins 33-hour "lying flat" competition ✓ Top 5 Black Friday disasters of all time **Black Friday Hall of Fame:** #5: REI closes all stores, pays staff to go outside #4: Patagonia accidentally raises $10 million #3: 30,000 buy literal bullsh*t for $6 #2: Woman pepper sprays 20 people for Xbox #1: Walmart stampede tragedy **Sources:** - Facebook mental health study: Reuters - UK jury trials proposal: The Guardian - Cornwall Mini sinkhole: The Guardian   - Satoshi Bitcoin wealth: Decrypt - China lying flat contest: NDTV **Key quotes:** "The Earth ate my Mini" "That's a really crap Black Friday deal" "I wonder if vintage bullsh*t is worth more than Bitcoin" **Timestamps:** 00:00 Facebook's buried mental health study 00:11 UK scrapping jury trials 00:26 Satoshi loses $41 billion 00:42 Mini falls into Cornwall sinkhole 00:48 China's 33-hour lying competition 00:53 Black Friday Top 5 countdown 🎧 New episodes weekly 💬 Would you buy bullsh*t for charity? 🔔 Subscribe for more unfiltered news commentary #BlackFriday #Facebook #Meta #Bitcoin #UK #News #Top5 #Podcast #TemporallyScripted Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    54 min

  5. 11/23/2025

    AI Song Hits 2.3 Million Listeners (But There's a Catch)

    Send us a text An AI-generated country song just hit 2.3 million monthly Spotify listeners. Plus: someone's suing for their human right to eat Vegemite in prison. Jack Austin and Adam Garcia uncover the truth behind the "first AI #1 hit" that isn't quite what it seems. Plus the week's wildest stories from ultra-processed food to North Korean executions. **In this episode:** ✓ AI country song "Walk My Walk" - 2.3M monthly listeners ✓ The $3,000 trick behind the "#1" claim ✓ Ultra-processed food (UPF) harms every major organ ✓ Why 50% of UK households are on benefits ✓ Australian prisoner suing for Vegemite access ✓ North Korean couple executed for being "big shots" ✓ Top 5 Thanksgiving injuries (turkey fryers are deadly) ✓ Sudden stratospheric warming over the Arctic **Key revelations:** Someone spent $3k downloading their own AI song to hit #1 Vegemite banned in Victorian prisons since 2006 (hides drug smell) AI sales calls now so good even experts can't tell Why prison and cup tea might be giving you microplastics **Quote of the episode:** "It would be almost as thin as a layer of Vegemite on toast" **Timestamps:** 00:00 Ultra-processed food killing us 00:17 The UK's sugar beet problem   00:25 Arctic warming event 00:37 AI hits the music charts 00:47 North Korea executions 00:52 Vegemite human rights case 00:59 Thanksgiving injury countdown 🎧 Weekly episodes 💬 Can you tell if music is AI? 🔔 Subscribe for unfiltered commentary #AI #Music #Spotify #UltraProcessedFood #NorthKorea #Prison #Vegemite #Australia #News #Podcast Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    57 min

  6. 11/17/2025

    Someone Failed Their Driving Test 128 Times It Cost £3000

    Send us a text Someone failed their UK driving theory test 128 times, spending £3,000. The previous record was 21. Jack Austin and Adam Garcia can't believe this is real. Plus: China just wiped out Nvidia's entire business model overnight. And the world record for snapping cucumbers that absolutely nobody asked for. **In this episode:** ✓ 128 failed theory tests (was it a man or woman? Place your bets) ✓ UK driving test wait times hit 22 WEEKS ✓ Military testers brought in to clear the backlog ✓ Bots booking tests and reselling them for profit ✓ China bans Nvidia - 95% to 0% market share instantly ✓ Why China's happy with inferior chips (quantity over quality) ✓ Rachel Reeves already breaking tax promises (shocking) ✓ 65 cucumbers snapped in 30 seconds ✓ Why Britain hasn't innovated since WW2 **Mind-blowing facts:** Previous theory test failure record: 21 attempts This person: 128 attempts Cost per test: £23 Total wasted: £2,944 China's strategy: Buy 5 rubbish chips instead of 1 good Nvidia chip. Build bigger data centres. Win. **Quote of the episode:** "It would've been cheaper to train a fighter pilot for the RAF than get my mum to pass her driving test" **World Record Corner:** David Rush: 300 world records including: - 65 cucumbers snapped in 30 seconds - Most toilet paper rolls balanced on head - The world record for most world records John Evans: That British legend who balanced Minis on his head because he "found a really good hat" **Timestamps:** 00:00 Politicians lying (water is wet) 00:11 Where does the UK even borrow money from? 00:21 China deletes Nvidia 00:39 The driving test disaster 00:43 128 failures - HOW?! 00:46 Bots stealing driving test slots 00:51 CUCUMBER WORLD RECORD 00:56 When Britain was great (balancing cars on heads) 🎧 New episodes weekly 💬 Man or woman for the 128 fails? Comment below 🔔 Subscribe for more cucumber-based journalism #DrivingTest #UK #TheoryTest #Fail #WorldRecord #Nvidia #China #Tech #AI #Cucumber #Politics #News #Podcast #Comedy Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    55 min

  7. 11/02/2025

    Humanoid Robots Cost Less Than Care Homes

    Send us a text A $500/month robot that cleans, cooks, and guards your home just launched. Meanwhile, a comet with its engines pointing THE WRONG WAY is heading past Earth. Jack Austin and Adam Garcia break down the week's wildest developments from flooded Vietnam. Plus: Why Doug Casey says skip university, and wine for dogs is apparently a thing now. **In this episode:** ✓ Neo humanoid robots: £400/month for a full-time maid ✓ The comet with backwards engines puzzling astronomers ✓ Vietnam's worst flooding in 60 years (we're in it) ✓ Universities raising fees to £60,000 total debt ✓ The "Renaissance Man" alternative to university ✓ Why robots will replace ALL manual labour jobs ✓ Woman fined £150 for pouring coffee in drain ✓ Wine for pets (yes, really) **Key revelations:** The comet's iron-nickel ratio has never been seen before Robots could be hacked to kill their owners Warren Buffett holding more cash than ever (warning sign) Who profits when robots take all the jobs? **Quote of the episode:** "Whoever owns the most robots wins the economy" **Timestamps:** 00:00 Vietnam flooding update 00:17 Blind people can read again with eye implants 00:25 Neo humanoid robot launch 00:35 Robots vs care homes economics 00:39 Comet/spacecraft approaching Earth 00:46 University fees hitting £60k 00:48 The Renaissance Man alternative 00:56 Coffee drain fine controversy 01:01 Wine for dogs and cats **The robot revolution math:** Rent 10 robots at £400/month = £4,000 Hire them out at £800/month = £8,000 Pure profit while humans can't compete 🎧 New episodes of Temporally Scripted weekly 💬 Would you trust a robot in your home? 🔔 Subscribe for unfiltered tech and news commentary #Robots #AI #Humanoid #Space #Comet #Aliens #University #Education #Vietnam #Flooding #Technology #Future #Automation #News #Podcast Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    1h 3m

  8. 10/28/2025

    AI Bubble About to Pop? Bank of England Issues Warning

    Send us a text Bank of England warns the AI bubble could burst. Hollywood actors threaten mass strikes. And California just made AI legally required to identify itself. Jack Austin and Adam Garcia break down why the AI hype train might be heading off a cliff. Plus: Nuns breaking out of retirement homes and a man dressed as a cat terrorising Liverpool. **In this episode:** ✓ Why actors are threatening strikes over AI using their faces ✓ Bank of England's AI bubble warning explained ✓ California's new law requiring AI to identify itself ✓ The truth about companies adding "AI" to everything ✓ Why AI is running out of training data (it's training on itself) ✓ The $50k/month "AI phone assistant" that's just old tech ✓ Nuns on the run in Austria ✓ Liverpool's catman mystery **Key revelations:** Hollywood's real fear isn't about protecting jobs - it's about control Most "AI companies" have nothing to do with AI The fibre optic comparison to today's AI infrastructure Why ChatGPT 5 is massively underwhelming **Quote of the episode:** "We're probably closer to ChatGPT 3.5 than we are to AGI" **Timestamps:** 00:00 Actors threaten AI strikes 00:05 Hollywood's protectionism exposed 00:13 California's AI disclosure law 00:20 The dead internet theory 00:22 Bank of England bubble warning 00:28 Companies faking AI involvement 00:33 Infrastructure bubbles throughout history 00:39 Nuns escape retirement home 00:43 Liverpool catman sightings **The truth about AI hype:** Warren Buffett is holding more cash than ever. Gold, silver, crypto all at peaks. Something's about to give. 🎧 New episodes of Temporally Scripted weekly 💬 Is the AI bubble about to burst? 🔔 Subscribe for unfiltered tech and news commentary #AI #ArtificialIntelligence #Tech #Hollywood #Actors #Strike #BankOfEngland #Bubble #ChatGPT #OpenAI #California #TechNews #Podcast #Liverpool #Austria Subscribe to our channel on YouTube Check out our website at temporallyscripted.com Follow us on X, too!

    47 min
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About

Ever notice how the people who claim to have all the answers usually have the most boring lives? We spent our twenties in underground clubs and festival fields, then built businesses in Vietnam. Now we're watching Western culture implode from 8,000 miles away. From historical figures to simulation theory, from AI's impact to why clever people often end up miserable - we tackle questions that keep curious minds awake. We're not experts claiming to have it all figured out, just two guys navigating a complicated world. This isn't about optimisation or morning routines. This is for people who know the best insights come from strange places. New episodes of Temporally Scripted are available every Saturday. Join your slightly questionable guides to personal growth. Your reality might never be the same.

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  • Creator
    Temporally Scripted
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    38
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Temporally Scripted
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