The Resilience Project

Julie Brumley
  • 5.0 (3)
  • MENTAL HEALTH

Illuminating the unseen impacts of adoption — for all who’ve been touched by it. The Resilience Project Podcast brings voice, visibility, and validation to the parts of adoption society rarely names - but all of us feel. Through a trauma-informed somatic lens, host Julie Brumley explores the lived experiences of the entire adoption constellation, with a tender emphasis on the adoptee experience.This podcast goes beyond storytelling into soul-telling. It offers embodied insight, compassionate education, and a path toward awareness, strength, and hope. Each episode invites listeners to understand adoption more deeply - not just with the mind, but with the nervous system - and to reconnect with the truth, identity, and belonging that were always yours to come home to.

  1. 2D AGO

    Nothing Is Wrong With You: The Severance Cycle in Adoptee Healing

    In this episode, Julie Brumley shares a framework foundational to her work with adoptees: Not because something is wrong with you… but because your body learned a different cycle. Drawing from the Satisfaction Cycle (Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen), she explains how attachment unfolds through attunement and safety. But for adoptees, that cycle is often interrupted. From that disruption, Julie introduces the Severance Cycle, a pattern she developed to describe what happens when connection is broken before we have words. This isn’t just theory. It’s the lived experience of so many adoptees. And when you understand it… everything starts to make sense. ⏱ Timestamps: 00:00 - Introduction: How early body memories affect trauma and healing 00:27 - Adoptees’ patterns of receiving and adaptation 00:53 - The body's response from conception: body memory starts in the womb 01:51 - How trauma affects brain and body development in utero 02:46 - Development of the heart and brain during early pregnancy 03:16 - Sensations versus stories: What early body imprints mean for adoptees 04:01 - The significance of the early attachment and stress responses 06:06 - The satisfaction cycle: how healthy attachment is supposed to work 07:02 - The baby's natural rhythm: push, reach, take, and settle 08:30 - The importance of attunement for the satisfaction cycle to succeed 09:27 - Recognizing whether this cycle was experienced in your own body 10:48 - The severance cycle: rupture, recoil, reluctance, rejection, resistance 11:09 - Description of each phase and its emotional impact 12:28 - How the severance cycle disrupts choice, connection, and context 14:16 - What is lost in severance: early choice and connection, and understanding of the world 15:38 - The impact of rupture on the primal wound and lifelong grief 17:34 - The polyvagal theory and its relation to survival responses 18:42 - The body’s tendency to choose familiar danger over safety 19:13 - How healing begins: creating safety and relearning trust with the body 20:34 - Rebuilding connection through self-regulation and safe relationships 21:34 - The power of context: reinterpreting past pain in the present 22:42 - Recognizing patterned behaviors: nothing is wrong with you, your body learned a cycle 23:12 - The work of restoring the original rhythm: safety, reach, receive, rest 24:02 - Invitation to upcoming retreat for experiential healing 25:25 - Encouragement to notice bodily responses and cultivate curiosity over fixing 26:21 - Resources, community, and hope for adoptees on the healing journey 🌿 Resources & Links: SlidesUnmothered: A Revolution in Adoptee Healing Retreat (May)Polyvagal TheorySchedule a call with JulieWebsite Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    27 min

  2. MAR 12

    Behind the Curtain of the “I Am a Burden” Belief: What We Explored in the Gathering

    Summary Julie Brumley shares her personal journey of healing from adoption-related trauma, emphasizing the importance of body-based work and inner belonging. This episode explores limiting beliefs, the role of somatic therapy, and practical steps for adoptees to reconnect with their true selves. Keywords adoption trauma, healing, somatic therapy, belonging, limiting beliefs, inner work, resilience, identity, trauma-informed care Key  Topics Trauma and adoption Body-based healing and somatic work Limiting beliefs and inner narratives Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Personal Context 02:39 Common Experiences of Adoption-Related Abandonment 03:29 The Impact of Early Rejection and Developmental Trauma 04:43 Realizing the Need for a Relationship with Self 05:47 The Moment of Confronting Adoption Skeletons 08:01 Reading the Adoption Records and Fragmentation 09:40 The Art of Kintsugi: Rebuilding with Gold 10:13 The Importance of Working with the Body 10:49 Challenges with Traditional Somatic Therapy 12:07 The Power of Humility and Self-Discovery 13:01 Learning to Live from a Place of Belonging 14:25 Limiting Beliefs That Keep Us Stuck 15:45 Addressing Adoption in Therapy and Spirituality 17:04 Identity Lives in the Body, Not Just the Mind 18:52 Overcoming the Belief of Being Too Much or Not Enough 20:28 Belonging as a Survival Strategy 21:51 Imagining a Safe and Loved Self 23:40 Uncovering Inner Strength and Capacity 26:36 The Belonging Blueprint: A Healing Framework 28:06 The Journey from Survival to Authentic Living 29:23 Invitation to Deeper Healing and Support Links Unmothered Retreat May 23-24th, 2026 Schedule a call to connect with Julie Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    30 min

  3. MAR 5

    Adoptee Healing Beyond Talk Therapy: Plant Medicine, Identity, and Integration

    Discover how adoptees can navigate trauma, identities, and healing through embodied practices, plant medicines, and community connection. Join Julie Brumley and Joni Kim as they explore innovative paths beyond traditional therapy for profound transformation. In this episode: The limitations of talk therapy for deep, pre-verbal traumaHow plant medicine uncovers the origins of identity and healing gapsThe concept of identity alchemy and transforming survival mechanisms into conscious leadershipThe significance of preparation and integration in psychedelic journeysThe unique physiological and energetic impacts of adoption traumaThe role of community, spirituality, and curiosity in healingPractical steps for discernment and choosing aligned healing modalitiesChapters:  00:00 - Introduction: Moving Beyond Words in Adoption Healing 02:45 - Understanding the Origin Story and Its Role in Identity 04:30 - The Gap in Traditional Therapy and the Power of Plant Medicine 06:17 - The Concept of the Life Gap and Energetic Hollowness 08:11 - The Shortcomings of Talk Therapy for Pre-verbal Trauma 09:21 - Recognizing the Need for Embodied Healing Approaches 11:10 - The Impact of Societal and Cultural Conditioning on Adoption Trauma 13:00 - Understanding Complex PTSD, Loss, and the Body’s Embodiment 14:36 - Patterns of Repetition: Relationships, Rejection, and Re-traumatization 17:17 - When Conventional Paths Fail: The Turning Point for Change 20:32 - The Influence of Wounds in Relationships and Healing in Context 23:03 - Adoption Trauma’s Unique Pre-verbal Expression 27:31 - How Plant Medicine Finds You: A Personal Journey 29:27 - Using Psychedelics for Emotional Access and Reframing 31:33 - Safe and Aligned: Navigating Psychedelic and Plant Medicine Use 33:58 - The Importance of Preparation, Intent, and Integration 42:54 - The Transformation of Identity: From Reaction to Responsiveness 44:27 - The Identity Alchemy Framework: Loving, Remembering, and Releasing 45:43 - Supporting Adoption Identity Shifts and Overcoming Resistance 48:37 - Spirituality’s Role in Connecting and Grounding 50:04 - Curiosity as the Key to Open Unconventional Healing Paths 52:42 - The Power of Community and Group Healing Retreats 55:29 - Building Confidence in Your Healing Journey and Discernment 57:14 - Connecting with Joni Kim Resources & Links: Joni Kim - WebsiteJoni Kim - InstagramBook: Nancy Verrier - The Primal WoundUn-M-Othered: A Revolution in Adoptee Healing RetreatAdditional Notes: Consider the importance of community in healing journeys.Explore embodied and somatic practices alongside plant medicines.Prioritize preparation and integration for long-term change.Remember: healing is a lifelong, layered process requiring curiosity, patience, and self-compassion.Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    54 min

  4. FEB 26

    Overcoming the Burden: An Adoptee's Journey to Self-Love and Community

    In this heartfelt episode of the Resilience Project podcast, Julie Brumley sits down with Jennifer Skiles - an adoptee and author - to explore the deep roots of the "I am a burden" belief and how it shapes the lives of adoptees. They discuss becoming aware of this inner narrative, healing through community, faith, and self-compassion, and the transformative power of sharing stories. Key topics: The impact of early abandonment and societal messaging on adoptee self-perceptionHow writing a story and embracing vulnerability facilitated healingThe role of faith and spirituality in recovering identity and hopeRecognizing harmful patterns like people-pleasing and shrinking to avoid being a burdenThe importance of community, shared pain, and belonging in healingPractical steps: trying new approaches, setting boundaries, visiting inner children, and practicing self-compassionThe significance of safe spaces for adoptees to process their experiencesThe upcoming "You Are Not a Burden" online gatheringChapters:   02:01 - The deeply rooted belief "I am a burden" among adoptees  03:41 - Jennifer shares her story of reuniting with her biological father  05:57 - How writing her book helped Jennifer own her story and heal  07:27 - The emotional process of feeling heard for the first time  10:23 - How the burden belief influenced relationships and behaviors  12:18 - Experiences of abandonment and not feeling accepted  14:16 - Societal pressure and feeling lucky versus feeling loved  15:28 - The "life gap" and missing early childhood memories  17:39 - Adoption statistics and societal misconceptions  19:40 - The importance of community for adoptees’ healing  22:21 - The power of shared stories and recognition  23:50 - Supporting each other through vulnerability and connection  24:44 - The impact of the burden belief on relationships and fears of rejection  26:02 - Faith and spirituality as sources of stability and healing  29:14 - Visiting inner children to foster self-love  30:07 - The body’s role in processing trauma  32:46 - Dispel misconceptions and set healthy boundaries  34:18 - How trying something different can shift perspectives  36:54 - The necessity of self-compassion in healing journeys  38:24 - Recognizing what is meant to be left behind  41:19 - Celebrating loved ones and releasing grief creatively  43:47 - The upcoming online gathering "You Are Not a Burden"  44:30 - What to do if you feel hesitant about engaging  46:33 - The role of community versus doing it alone  47:58 - Building safe spaces for raw, authentic conversations  50:27 - The relief of being understood without explanation  52:02 - Encouragement to take the first step even with resistance  54:03 - Reshaping beliefs through new actions and perspectives  57:24 - The importance of belonging over independence  58:24 - Details on the free online event and ongoing connection opportunities Links - Jennifer Skiles' Book "Vault of Treasures" You Are Not a Burden - Online Gathering The Adoption Roadmap Podcast Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    53 min

  5. FEB 19

    You Are Not a Burden: The Hidden Identity Belief Many Adoptees Carry

    In this heartfelt episode, Julie Brumley shares her personal journey from feeling like a burden to embracing her healing. She discusses the transformative power of community, understanding body sensations, and shifting perspectives to foster belonging and self-compassion. Key Topics: The origin of the phrase "I am a burden" and its emotional impactHow sensations in the body reveal subconscious beliefsAnnouncing a free online event for adoptees exploring identity on March 3rdThe difference between knowing concepts and integrating them into healingThe importance of community in the healing processChallenging the victim mindset and reframing trauma as happening for usThe role of shame, attachment, nervous system work, and spiritual practices in healingBelonging versus independence as the opposite of burdenInvitation to join a live event in Moscow, Idaho, in May with Dr. Liz DeBettaEncouragement for adoptees to find hope, healing, and communityTimestamps: 00:00 - Introduction: The journey from feeling like a burden to healing  00:30 - The moment of vulnerability sharing the phrase "I am a burden"  01:08 - How bodily sensations like stomach tightening and shoulder dropping signify shame  02:12 - Announcing a free online gathering for adoptees on March 3rd  03:00 - The value of community in healing and shared experience  03:46 - Misconceptions about needing to be fixed and dismantling the burden belief  04:21 - The emotional impact of systemic wounds and self-worth issues  05:03 - Reframing trauma as happening for us rather than against us  06:01 - The costs of staying stuck in the burden belief within relationships and self-investment  07:04 - Personal story of investing in somatic coaching and overcoming fear  08:04 - The importance of body language and somatic awareness over solely intellectual understanding  09:12 - Differentiating knowledge from integration in healing processes  10:02 - The comprehensive blueprint of healing including mindset, emotion, attachment, and spiritual work  11:00 - The role of community in dismantling limiting beliefs and fostering belonging  11:39 - Opposite of burden is belonging, not independence  12:18 - Recognizing the edge of expansion when resistance arises  12:42 - Invitation details for the March 3rd event and encouragement to reach out  13:14 - Announcing the in-person event in Moscow, Idaho, in May  14:18 - Closing thoughts on hope, healing, and community support Resources & Links: You Are Not a Burden - Live Online EventDr. Liz DiBetta EpisodeMoscow, Idaho Retreat - Event DetailsFeel free to DM Julie with questions or feedback. Remember, healing is a journey, and community makes all the difference. Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    15 min

  6. FEB 12

    Surrender Over Control: The Missing Piece in Adoptee Healing

    Discover how surrender, rather than control, can transform the adoptee’s healing journey. In this episode, Julie explores the deep psychological and somatic stages of adoptee awareness and how embracing surrender leads to genuine self-belonging. In this episode: The misconception that mastery and control are the core issues for adopteesHow early trauma impacts our response to loss and controlThe adoptee consciousness model: five pivotal stages of awarenessKey somatic cues associated with each stageThe importance of surrender as a radical act of self-trust and agencyPractical prompts for identifying your current stage and practicing surrenderResources for deeper healing and connection in the adoptee communityChapters:  00:00 - Introduction to the core issue: surrender over control in adoptee healing 00:31 - Why mastery and control are misconceptions—what's really happening underneath 01:01 - The impact of early loss and trauma on control responses  02:01 - How survival strategies turn into ways of living for adoptees 02:25 - Brene Brown’s concept of wholehearted living rooted in gratitude and spirituality 03:19 - The role of surrender and trust in healing from trauma 04:09 - The adoptee consciousness model overview and its cyclical nature 06:42 - The five touchstones of awareness: from status quo to transcendence 07:25 - Stage 1: Sleep — acceptance of the dominant narrative without questioning 09:09 - Stage 2: The rupture — disorienting insights that challenge the status quo 11:14 - Stage 3: Dissonance — emotional unrest, conflicting beliefs, and emerging identities 13:23 - Stage 4: Expansiveness — integrating truths, setting boundaries, and defining your narrative 14:34 - Stage 5: Forgiveness and activism — surrender as a radical act of agency 16:33 - Reflection prompts: identifying your current touchstone and practicing surrender 17:36 - Physical practices for releasing control and cultivating self-compassion 19:03 - Resources on adoptee awareness models and healing pathways 19:52 - Upcoming event: Unmothered - a revolution in adoptee healing 20:05 - Closing thoughts and encouragement for your healing journey Resources & Links: Out of the Fog into ConsciousnessUnmothered: A Revolution in Adoptee Healing — May 23-24, Moscow, IdahoAdoptee Consciousness Slides I presentedSkeletons in the closet episodeWebsite Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    19 min

  7. FEB 5

    Intimacy and Adoption: Why Love Feels Complicated

    Slides that I shared - https://drive.google.com/file/d/13QWm6K6AIEwWYVNtO-ZNHTwB7WPscNlT/view?usp=sharing Summary In this episode of the Resilience Project Podcast, Julie explores the complexities of love, intimacy, and interdependence, particularly in the context of adoption. She discusses how early experiences shape our ability to connect with others and emphasizes the importance of self-love and understanding our internal family systems. Through practical insights and personal anecdotes, Julie encourages listeners to reflect on their relationships and take actionable steps towards healthier connections. Takeaways We don't have to do anything to be loved.Intimacy becomes complicated due to early experiences.Adoption can be viewed as adapt-tion.Interdependence is essential for healthy relationships.Co-dependence involves regulating our nervous systems through others.Self-trust is crucial for personal growth.Small shifts can lead to significant changes in relationships.Understanding our inner critics helps in healing.Self-love is foundational for intimacy.Your personal story is valuable and deserves to be shared.Sound bites "Intimacy becomes complicated." "Adoption should be called adapt-tion." "Your story and your truth matter." Chapters 00:00 The Foundation of Love and Fear 04:11 Understanding Intimacy and Adoption 06:48 The Journey to Interdependence 09:26 Navigating Co-dependence and Independence 12:12 Exploring Internal Family Systems 15:00 Developing Self-Love and Connection Keywords love, intimacy, interdependence, self-trust, adoption, healing, emotional health, relationships, personal growth, internal family systems Saboteur Assessment  https://assessment.positiveintelligence.com/saboteur/instructions Self-Trust episode link  https://www.buzzsprout.com/2549404/episodes/18294247  Register for May Retreat!!!  https://www.lizdebetta.com/un-m-othered-adoptee-healing-retreat Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    18 min

  8. JAN 29

    Un-M-Othered: A Revolution in Adoptee Healing

    Summary  In this episode of the Resilience Project podcast, host Julie Brumley welcomes Dr. Liz DeBetta, an adoptee and creator of the award-winning performance 'Un-M-Othered.' The conversation centers around the upcoming retreat, 'Un-M-Othered: A Revolution in Adoptee Healing,' designed specifically for adoptees. Julie and Liz discuss the importance of community in healing, emphasizing that true healing goes beyond traditional talk therapy and requires a deeper, embodied approach. They highlight how the retreat will provide a safe space for adoptees to explore their stories, reclaim their voices, and connect with others who share similar experiences of adoption trauma.  Dr. Liz shares her personal journey of using writing and performance as tools for healing, explaining how 'Un-M-Othered' emerged from her own experiences and research into adoption trauma. The retreat aims to create a transformative experience that integrates somatic practices with narrative healing, allowing participants to feel seen, heard, and understood. Both Julie and Liz express their excitement about the retreat and the potential for profound healing and connection among adoptees, encouraging listeners to join them in this unique opportunity.  Keywords  adoptee healing, Unmothered, Dr. Liz DeBetta, narrative therapy, somatic healing, community support, adoption trauma, resilience project, embodied healing, retreat  Takeaways  Healing doesn't just live in the places that didn't have language yet. Adoptee healing requires community and immersive experiences. The retreat is about returning to what's already within you. Sound bites  "This isn't just surface level healing."  "It's the first time that I feel seen, heard and understood."  "Feel the fear and do it anyway."  Chapters  00:00 Introduction to the Resilience Project Podcast  03:13 Meet Dr. Liz DeBetta: The Creator of Unmothered  05:01 Introducing Unmothered: A Revolution in Adoptive Healing  06:36 The Importance of Community in Healing  07:29 The Birth of Unmothered: A Personal Journey  10:36 The Power of Shared Experiences  14:33 The Need for Embodied Healing  18:27 Listening to Our Bodies: A Path to Healing  22:22 Creating a Healing Arc for Adoptees  26:22 Integrating Story and Body for Wholeness  29:45 Why This Healing Approach is Needed Now  33:18 Purpose and Timing in Healing  34:22 Collaboration and Community  36:09 The Social Change Ecosystem  37:59 Navigating Personal Trauma  39:52 Creating Safe Spaces for Healing  43:47 The Importance of Community in Healing  45:52 Who the Retreat is For  49:16 Addressing Fears and Resistance  53:32 Final Thoughts on Healing and Community Learn more and register for the retreat here -  https://www.lizdebetta.com/un-m-othered-adoptee-healing-retreat Connect with Dr. Liz here - https://www.lizdebetta.com Purchase Dr. Liz's book here - https://www.amazon.com/-/he/Liz-DeBetta/dp/9004681698 Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    57 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Illuminating the unseen impacts of adoption — for all who’ve been touched by it. The Resilience Project Podcast brings voice, visibility, and validation to the parts of adoption society rarely names - but all of us feel. Through a trauma-informed somatic lens, host Julie Brumley explores the lived experiences of the entire adoption constellation, with a tender emphasis on the adoptee experience.This podcast goes beyond storytelling into soul-telling. It offers embodied insight, compassionate education, and a path toward awareness, strength, and hope. Each episode invites listeners to understand adoption more deeply - not just with the mind, but with the nervous system - and to reconnect with the truth, identity, and belonging that were always yours to come home to.

Information

  • Creator
    Julie Brumley
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    22
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Resilience Project
  • Show Website
    The Resilience Project

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