The Silent Why: finding hope in grief and loss

Claire Sandys
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Claire Sandys is on a mission to see if it's possible to find hope in 101 different types of loss and grief (often joined by husband Chris). New ad-free episodes every other Tuesday. With childless (not by choice) hosts, this podcast is packed with deep, honest experiences of grief and hope from inspiring guests. You also get: tips on how to navigate and prepare for loss, blogs, experts, exploring how loss is handled on TV, and plenty of Hermans. For more visit: www.thesilentwhy.com.

  1. 1D AGO

    The Grief Toolshed: Telescopic Tree Pruner - find your sharp people

    #148.  How can a metaphorical telescopic tree pruner help us with grief? Let's find out. This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed. In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up. And in this episode, I’m looking at how a tree pruner (given to us by Jared Altic, in his Let’s Chat episode about being a Police Chaplain, can help us prepare for, and get through, grief. Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most. Listen to Jared's full episode, Let’s Chat… Police Chaplains, here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/79748b98/lets-chat-police-chaplains-with-jared-altic If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed If you want to hear more from Jared, he was also Loss 56 of 101, talking about dealing with loss, grief and death daily in his role as a Police Chaplain: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4b8bb873/loss-2101-loss-of-both-parents-to-dementia-katie-elliott Plus, he has a fantastic podcast called 'Hey, Chaplain': https://heychaplain.buzzsprout.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    19 min

  2. APR 7

    The Grief Toolshed: Swiss Army Knife - using the tools of self-awareness

    #147.  How can a metaphorical Swiss Army Knife help us with self-awareness? Let's find out. This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed. In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up. And in this episode, I’m looking at how a Swiss Army Knife (given to us by Katie Elliott, in her Let’s Chat episode about Self-Awareness), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief. Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most. Listen to Katie's full episode, Let’s Chat… Self-Awareness, here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7b7d32af/lets-chat-self-awareness-with-katie-elliott Amiko cards and poster: https://www.littlechallenges.com/store  If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed If you want to hear more from Katie, she was also Loss 2 of 101, talking about the loss of both parents to dementia: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4b8bb873/loss-2101-loss-of-both-parents-to-dementia-katie-elliott Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    25 min

  3. MAR 24

    Graveyard Musings: Wolvercote, Oxford (grave of JRR Tolkien - author of The Lord of the Rings)

    #146. I've always loved graveyards. I'm not sure what it is about them that draws me in, but a little while ago I decided to record my musings as I wander round them. So that's what these Graveyard Musing episodes are, just me and my phone, in a graveyard. And sometimes I go international (but not this one) and sometimes Chris joins me (like this one). Anyway, welcome to another Graveyard Musing from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why podcast). In this musing, Chris (husband) and I are wandering around Wolvercote Cemetery in Oxford, England - because there was one very special grave there that we wanted to see... that of the author, JRR Tolkien.  So, come with us to hear our impromptu musings as we explore where one of the world's most famous authors is buried. For the photos that accompany this episode, so you can visualise what we're talking about, visit: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/graveyard-musings-goes-to-oxford If you want to hear more episodes like this, check out: Graveyard Musings, Tyne Cot & Ypres, Belgium: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7f63d7e9/graveyard-musings-tyne-cot-and-ypres-belgium Graveyard Musings, Moorslede, Belgium: https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/15249654-graveyard-musings-moorslede-belgium Graveyard Musings: Llanfair Talhaiarn, Wales: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7e418cc4/graveyard-musings-llanfair-talhaiarn-wales Graveyard Musings: Gloucestershire, England (Part 1 of 3): https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/76b3f1f7/graveyard-musings-gloucestershire-england-part-1 Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    22 min

  4. MAR 10

    The Grief Toolshed: Compost - it's all about balance (& worms)

    #145.  How can a metaphorical bag of compost help us get through grief? Let's find out. This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed. In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up. And in this episode, I’m looking at how a bag of compost (given to us by Dr Colleen Crary, in her Let’s Chat episode about PTSD), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief. Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most. Listen to Colleen’s full episode, Let’s Chat… PTSD, here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/772c3bcd/lets-chat-ptsd-with-dr-colleen-crary If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    18 min

  5. FEB 24

    The Grief Toolshed: The Spade - let's dig deep into grief

    #144.  How can a metaphorical spade help us get through grief? Let's find out. This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed. In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up. And in this episode, I’m looking at how the spade (given to us by Sue Brayne, in her Let’s Chat episode about mortality), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief. If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the intro episode I put out first: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most. Listen to Sue’s full episode, Let’s Chat… Mortality, here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4c89d4f7/lets-chat-mortality-with-sue-brayne  If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed If you want to hear more from Sue, she was also Loss 1 of 101, talking about the loss of her marriage: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4bbf824b/loss-1101-loss-of-a-marriage-sue-brayne Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    14 min

  6. FEB 17

    Introducing... The Grief Toolshed

    #143.  How can we make sure we have the right tools when we face grief?  This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. After a short break, I’m back with a brand-new series of episodes. It’s called The Grief Toolshed. In this series, I’ll be revisiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up. Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most. Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    15 min

  7. JAN 6

    New Year, New Loss, New Schedule

    #142. Well, it's finally here. Another new year. How are you feeling as we head into 2026? This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts. New Year's aren't easy for many people, so wherever you find yourself emotionally, this short episode is here to offer you a bit of hope and encouragement for the days ahead, and remind you that you're not alone if your year hasn’t started as you hoped.  Plus, I share about a recent loss we've been going through, and explain why there might be a bit of a delay before the next episode is released. And here are the links to read, or listen to, the blogs I mention: Know Hope: https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/14113284-blog-my-why-know-hope We've all got triggers, but did you know you have glimmers too?: https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/12776245-blog-my-why-we-ve-all-got-triggers-but-did-you-know-you-have-glimmers-too  Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    14 min

  8. 12/23/2025

    Chris & Claire's Chatty Christmas Catch-Up 2025

    #141. Struggling with the festive season? You're not alone. It's not an easy time of year, and it’s been a season of both highs and lows for us too over the years.  This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts. Each year, we share a Christmas episode where we check in with how we’re really feeling about the festive season, childlessness, and everything that comes with it. Some years, we’re coping well. Other years, not so much. So where are we in 2025?  You'll have to tune in to find out, but a sneak peek would tell you that we chat about; what it's like being back in a cold, wintery, Christmasy UK (after 8 weeks in Australia), how we're both feeling about being childless, what a visit to our local cathedral was like, and, of course, the vital importance of Christmas food. If you’d like to explore our previous Christmas episodes and blogs (as mentioned in the episode, plus more), you’ll find them all here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/christmas Our past Christmas episodes range from 'Chris' Loss of Christmas Spirit' (2021), to feeling hopeful and joyful (2024) and everything in between, plus, there's bucket loads of tips for gently rebuilding hope if the season feels a bit heavy this year. Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    58 min
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About

Claire Sandys is on a mission to see if it's possible to find hope in 101 different types of loss and grief (often joined by husband Chris). New ad-free episodes every other Tuesday. With childless (not by choice) hosts, this podcast is packed with deep, honest experiences of grief and hope from inspiring guests. You also get: tips on how to navigate and prepare for loss, blogs, experts, exploring how loss is handled on TV, and plenty of Hermans. For more visit: www.thesilentwhy.com.

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