The Silent Why: finding hope in grief and loss

Claire Sandys
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Claire Sandys is on a mission to see if it's possible to find hope in 101 different types of loss and grief (often joined by husband Chris). New ad-free episodes every other Tuesday. With childless (not by choice) hosts, this podcast is packed with deep, honest experiences of grief and hope from inspiring guests. You also get: tips on how to navigate and prepare for loss, blogs, experts, exploring how loss is handled on TV, and plenty of Hermans. For more visit: www.thesilentwhy.com.

  1. 1D AGO

    Chris & Claire's Chatty Christmas Catch-Up 2025

    #141. Struggling with the festive season? You're not alone. It's not an easy time of year, and it’s been a season of both highs and lows for us too over the years.  This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts. Each year, we share a Christmas episode where we check in with how we’re really feeling about the festive season, childlessness, and everything that comes with it. Some years, we’re coping well. Other years, not so much. So where are we in 2025?  You'll have to tune in to find out, but a sneak peek would tell you that we chat about; what it's like being back in a cold, wintery, Christmasy UK (after 8 weeks in Australia), how we're both feeling about being childless, what a visit to our local cathedral was like, and, of course, the vital importance of Christmas food. If you’d like to explore our previous Christmas episodes and blogs (as mentioned in the episode, plus more), you’ll find them all here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/christmas Our past Christmas episodes range from 'Chris' Loss of Christmas Spirit' (2021), to feeling hopeful and joyful (2024) and everything in between, plus, there's bucket loads of tips for gently rebuilding hope if the season feels a bit heavy this year. Send us a text Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    58 min

  2. DEC 2

    Australia Update 2: Time flies. And more flies.

    #140. How's our big trip 'Down Under' going? This is where you find out. Again. Welcome to The Silent Why - usually a podcast with a mission to open-up honest conversations around grief and explore whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. But right now, things are a little different! Take a listen to the previous episode to get a better idea what this one is going to be all about.  We (Chris & Claire, your hosts) are on an adventure halfway around the world, spending some time in Singapore and Australia. In this episode, we update you on our trip up the coast of Western Australia. This episode includes what's surprised, shocked and delighted us about the Aussie people, what wildlife we've seen (and held! 😉), what it's like to visit some of the most beautiful beaches in the world, and... flies!! Plus, you know we love to share the deep stuff too, so we also chat about how our expectations of this holiday have had to change, how being childless has affected us while away, and thoughts about the podcast in general and who it's really for. Check out our Facebook and Instagram to see the cool kangaroo video we chat about.  Send us a text Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    1h 24m

  3. NOV 10

    Australia Update 1: Distracted by kookaburras

    #139. How's our big trip going so far? This is where you find out. Welcome to The Silent Why - usually a podcast on a mission to open up honest conversations around grief and explore whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss - but right now, things are a little different! If you've heard the previous episode, you'll have a good idea what this one is going to be all about.  We (Chris & Claire, your hosts) are on an adventure halfway around the world, spending some time down under. In this episode, we update you on our trip so far via Singapore to Western Australia. And since recording (just a few hours ago), we've already remembered plenty of things we forgot to mention; like how warm the sea was in Singapore, the unexpectedly delicious ice cream sandwiches (thanks Mel!), the luge rides, the different Maltesers, and the glorious abundance of Earl Grey tea over here.  No doubt those stories, and many more, will make their way into a future episode.  So far we've seen and experienced some amazing things, but we've also had some disappointments, and you know us - we love to share it all with you, so tune in, and join us. Plus, for videos of the kookaburra and bobtail lizard we mention, find us on social media. Send us a text Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    49 min

  4. SEP 30

    Chris & Claire chat Oz, mini mics, Bin Chickens and a special form

    #138. We're off on an Ozzie adventure! But, first things first, as promised, the all-important anonymous form: 👉 https://forms.gle/LmFrrd4xvvnEhG5R9  👈  (it'll make sense when you've listened to the episode!) Welcome to The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. This episode is a little different, because we recorded in an unusual location about a very unusual topic! We (Chris & Claire) are embarking on an adventure. For the rest of this year, we won’t be releasing our usual fortnightly episodes - primarily because we’re heading down under for a while - but this doesn't mean we'll be Silent. Why?  Listen to find out. Oh, and about that ticking clock… no, you’re not going mad - I don't think you can hear it! Send us a text Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    39 min

  5. SEP 16

    Loss 65/101: Loss of a friend: Hannah Rumsey

    #137. Can losing a friend be overlooked in our culture? What happens when the friend who knew you best is gone? And why are there so few resources to help with this kind of grief? This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. Loss #65 of 101: Loss of a friend In this episode, we meet Hannah Rumsey from Chicago. She's the founder of Friends Missing Friends, a community she created for people navigating the loss of a friend. And Hannah’s work grew out of her own story, when in 2015 her best friend Lauren died suddenly. Hannah shares about the deep bond she and Lauren had, Lauren’s incredible zest for life, and the devastating way she first learned of her death - while posting a birthday message on Facebook. Together, we explored the unique challenges of grieving a friend, and why this grief can feel invisible or minimised, how few resources exist for friend-loss grief, despite how common it is, and the surprising ways healing, and hope, can unfold over time. This is a heartfelt and open conversation about a form of grief that isn’t often acknowledged, yet touches so many lives. And for listeners who enjoyed my behind-the-scenes episode on how to make a podcast - there's a little bonus in this episode - some unedited audio that shows just how in sync Chris and I are with our questioning. 👌 For more about Hannah, Friends Missing Friends, and her podcast: https://www.friendsmissingfriends.com https://www.instagram.com/friendsmissingfriends https://www.facebook.com/friendsmissingfriends http://friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/friendsmissingfriends Send us a text Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    56 min

  6. SEP 2

    Behind the Scenes: How I make a podcast

    #136. (We'll... we've actually done 226 episodes in total. You'll hear me talk about the annoying decision around episode numbering in this 226th episode!) This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. This episode is a little different. No blog, no interview, no Chris, and no focus on loss. It’s just you and me, pulling back the curtain for a behind-the-scenes peek at how I create this podcast. I often get asked: - What does it really take to produce an episode? - Can podcasting make money? - How do you find guests? Today, I’m answering those questions (and more) while walking you through my own process of hosting, producing, and publishing a show. Plus, if you’ve ever thought about starting your own podcast, this episode will give you a real sense of the time, effort, and resources involved. As well as some lessons I’ve learned along the way. A huge thank you to everyone who supports this podcast and helps keep it going. Special gratitude goes to our “I Love The Silent Why” members and above, on Buy Me a Coffee, who not only get a shout-out on the website but deserve a mention here too: Evelyn Calaunan, Peter Ellis, Jackie Waring, Diane Fopp, Greg Williams, and Emily Luckham. You’re amazing, and I’m so grateful for you. Thanks also to those who support through one-offs or other levels on Buy Me a Coffee, and of course to everyone who tunes in each week. I truly couldn’t do this without you. To learn more about the show, about Chris and me, our childless journey through loss, Herman, and everything else, visit: www.thesilentwhy.com Send us a text Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    59 min

  7. AUG 19

    BLOG REWIND: My Why: Accepting a life I don't want

    #135. How do we accept, and live with, a life we never really wanted? Welcome to another My Why Blog episode - where I share the audio version of my latest blog post. But in this case, it’s actually a re-release of the most popular blog episode I’ve ever put out (to my surprise!). If you’ve been listening a while, you’ll know I usually pause podcasting in August to focus on writing and other projects. But this August is a little different, and I explain why in the intro. If you’d rather read the blog, you’ll find it here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/acceptingalifeidontwant (with the video and song links included). This post grew out of a rather heavy Easter weekend, when I found myself asking questions like: What if life never turns out the way we hoped? If acceptance feels impossible, how do we ever begin to heal and move forward? I suspect more people than we realise are quietly wrestling with these same questions. Grieving the life you imagined, and learning to accept the one you have, is not easy. And while I don’t claim to have figured it out yet, I’m convinced it’s a vital step if we want to keep moving forward. You can explore more blogs to read, or listen to, here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/blog A few examples: What happens if I let go?: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/whathappensifiletgo Disappointed with life: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/disappointment-with-life You're not the only one: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/yourenottheonlyone Navigating Mother's Day when you're childless: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7a23238b/navigating-mothers-day-when-youre-childless Lost Inside, where am I? (my experience with PMDD): https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/lostinside Send us a text Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    24 min

  8. AUG 5

    Let's Chat... Finding hope as a widow (Rachel Powell)

    #134. Let's chat... about finding hope after feeling hopeless as a young widow. Welcome to another Let’s Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I (Claire Sandys) sit down with guests who have expertise and personal insight into different aspects of loss. In this episode, I have the pleasure of talking with Rachel Powell from Colorado. She’s a life coach, speaker, author, and founder of Hope Speaker, where she supports widows in moving from a place of hopelessness and loneliness to one of healing, and confident steps forward. Rachel lost her husband, Andre, to suicide in June 2019, and she was left raising four children: their two-year-old daughter and three of her biological nieces and nephew. In this conversation, Rachel shares how hard this journey was for her and the darkness that led her to attempt to take her own life.  But as a person who's passionate about hope, we also talk about how she found hope again, what part her Christian faith has played in her healing, and why she now speaks so passionately about her experience.  Rachel’s faith has been a big part of her healing, and while we don’t often delve into religion on this podcast, it’s important to see the different ways people find hope through grief. This episode is a powerful reminder that faith in God doesn’t guarantee an easier path.  Rachel offers wisdom and encouragement for all of us — whether you’ve experienced partner loss or are simply wondering what that journey might look like. For more about Rachel, and the resources we mention, visit: www.hopespeaker.com Faceboook: https://www.facebook.com/HopeSpeakerRachelPowell Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hope_speaker/ Free Resources: www.hopespeaker.com/library If you are interested in working 1:1 with Rachel for widow support, learn more at www.hopespeaker.com/coaching To contact Rachel: Connect@hopespeaker.com Send us a text Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    1 hr
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About

Claire Sandys is on a mission to see if it's possible to find hope in 101 different types of loss and grief (often joined by husband Chris). New ad-free episodes every other Tuesday. With childless (not by choice) hosts, this podcast is packed with deep, honest experiences of grief and hope from inspiring guests. You also get: tips on how to navigate and prepare for loss, blogs, experts, exploring how loss is handled on TV, and plenty of Hermans. For more visit: www.thesilentwhy.com.

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