The Spaghetti Wall

Avid Counseling Services
  • 5.0 (4)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED SEMIWEEKLY

Welcome to The Spaghetti Wall—the show where we throw big ideas at the wall of life and see what sticks. Hosted by Jason Wilcox, LCSW and Dr. Thaen Saelee. We’re here to talk about mental health, happiness, and what it really means to live well in a world that often feels like it’s spinning out of control. Whether you’re surviving, thriving, or somewhere in between, this podcast is your weekly dose of honest conversations, real tools, and surprising truths. No fluff, no filters—just relatable stories, practical insight, and maybe a little humor along the way. So if you’ve ever asked yourself “Am I okay?”, “Why does life feel so heavy sometimes?”, or “How do I find joy again?”—you’re in the right place. Together, we’re going to explore the messy, beautiful, frustrating, funny, and deeply human parts of this journey. Because here at The Spaghetti Wall, the mess is the method.

  1. MAY 2

    Stop Coexisting—Start Dating Your Partner Again

    Most couples don’t fall out of love—they fall into routine. In this episode of the Spaghetti Wall Podcast, we break down why dating your partner isn’t optional—it’s essential. Over time, life gets busy, routines take over, and connection quietly fades into the background. But relationships don’t thrive on autopilot. We talk about: Why your brain pushes you into relationship rutsWhat “dating your partner” actually looks like long-termHow to balance preferences without resentmentWhy quality time matters more than just time togetherWhat it means if you don’t want to spend time with your partner Whether you're feeling disconnected or just want to strengthen what you already have, this episode will challenge you to rethink how you show up in your relationship. Because connection isn’t something you keep… It’s something you build.

    18 min

  2. APR 24

    When Support Becomes a Burden: The Hidden Problem with ‘Man Keeping’

    In this episode of the Spaghetti Wall Podcast, Jason Wilcox, LCSW, and Dr. Thaen Saelee break down a growing relationship dynamic often called “man keeping”—but the truth is, it goes both ways. At its core, this issue isn’t about gender—it’s about emotional dependency. When does supporting your partner cross the line into carrying them? Why do so many people rely entirely on their partner for emotional stability, connection, or even problem-solving? And how does that slowly erode attraction, balance, and respect in a relationship? We explore: The difference between healthy support vs. unhealthy dependencyWhy emotional burnout leads to resentment (and even loss of attraction) The dangerous belief that your partner is responsible for your emotionsHow loneliness and lack of outside connection fuels relationship strainThe role of boundaries—and why “no” is sometimes the healthiest answerWhen it’s time to seek help outside the relationship If you’ve ever felt drained, overwhelmed, or like you’re carrying too much in your relationship—or if you worry you might be leaning too heavily on your partner—this episode will give you clarity and practical direction.

    23 min

  3. APR 12

    Emotional Manipulation: 8 Signs You’re Being Controlled (Without Realizing It)

    Emotional manipulation isn’t always obvious—and most people don’t recognize it until it’s already affecting their relationship. In this episode of the Spaghetti Wall Podcast, Jason Wilcox (LCSW) and Dr. Thaen Saelee break down what emotional manipulation really is, how it shows up, and how to tell the difference between manipulation, miscommunication, and normal emotional reactions. We cover: The difference between intentional and unintentional manipulationHow negative core beliefs fuel emotional reactionsWhy you might start questioning your own realityThe concept of “emotional whiplash” (love bombing → blame)How guilt, shame, and boundary-pushing are used to control behaviorWhat it means to “walk on eggshells” in a relationshipHow to respond using assertive communication without escalating conflict If you’ve ever felt confused, guilty, or like you’re losing yourself in a relationship, this episode will help you understand what’s happening—and what to do next.

    35 min

  4. APR 6

    Mental Load in Relationships: Why It Feels Unfair (And How to Fix It)

    What is the “mental load” in a relationship—and why does it leave so many people feeling overwhelmed, resentful, and alone? In this episode, we break down what mental load actually is, how it becomes unbalanced, and why it’s not always about who’s doing more—it’s about who’s carrying more. We cover: The difference between real imbalance vs. perceived overwhelmHow one partner becomes the “manager” (and why that breaks the relationship)Why lack of communication makes mental load worseHow negative core beliefs quietly fuel resentmentPractical ways to rebalance responsibilities without constant conflict If you’ve ever felt like you’re thinking about everything while your partner just “helps,” this episode will give you clarity—and a way forward.

    21 min

  5. MAR 15

    Subconscious Uncoupling: When Your Partner Is Quietly Letting Go

    What does it mean when a relationship starts drifting apart—but no one has actually said the words “we’re done”? In this episode of The Spaghetti Wall Podcast, Jason Wilcox, LCSW, and Dr. Tanay Lee explore the concept of subconscious uncoupling—when one partner begins emotionally disengaging from the relationship without openly acknowledging it. We discuss the subtle signs that a partner may be pulling away, why the subconscious mind can drive relationship behavior without our awareness, and how negative core beliefs can distort how we interpret our partner’s actions. The conversation also covers the difference between true emotional disengagement and simple incompatibility in how two people approach relationships. Through both clinical insight and personal stories, Jason and Tanay unpack what it feels like to be on either side of this experience—whether you’re the partner sensing the distance or the one quietly struggling with your own feelings about the relationship. Most importantly, we talk about what to do when you start noticing these patterns: how to have honest conversations, avoid jumping to conclusions, and reflect on whether the relationship you’re in is truly the one you want. If you’ve ever felt alone in a relationship, questioned your partner’s commitment, or wondered whether the distance you feel is real or imagined, this episode will help you better understand what might be happening beneath the surface.

    28 min

  6. MAR 2

    Weaponized Incompetence: Manipulation or Just Being Human?

    Weaponized incompetence is a trending term — but are we using it correctly? In this episode of The Spaghetti Wall Podcast, Jason Wilcox, LCSW, and Dr. Thaen Saelee break down what weaponized incompetence actually is, how to tell the difference between manipulation and normal human imperfection, and why mislabeling your partner can quietly damage trust. We explore: The role of intentionalityThe “burden of competence”Mental load and division of laborHow perfectionism complicates the conversationWhy buzzwords can create more harm than clarity If you’ve ever wondered whether your partner is avoiding responsibility — or if you’re worried you might be carrying too much — this episode gives you practical tools rooted in assertive communication, not accusation. Be honest. Be thoughtful. Be kind.

    27 min

  7. FEB 21

    The 7-7-7 Rule: Connection Hack or Comparison Trap?

    You’ve probably seen it trending: the 7-7-7 rule for relationships — date every 7 days, getaway every 7 weeks, and take a big trip every 7 months. Sounds simple. Sounds romantic. Sounds… measurable. But is it actually helpful — or just another formula that makes couples feel like they’re failing? In this episode of The Spaghetti Wall Podcast, Jason Wilcox, LCSW, and Dr. Thaen Saelee break down the psychology behind the 7-7-7 trend. We explore: Why trending relationship “rules” can create pressure and comparisonThe difference between being together and actually connectingHow emotional connection looks different for every coupleWhy communication beats any formulaHow negative core beliefs and social media comparisons distort reality The real question isn’t whether you’re hitting 7-7-7. It’s whether you’re getting the outcome you want in your relationship. If you’ve ever wondered, “Are we doing enough?” — this episode is for you.

    28 min

  8. FEB 16

    Rage Baiting in Relationships: Real Toxicity or Just Reactivity?

    “Rage baiting” has been labeled the buzzword of 2025—but what does it actually mean? And more importantly, how does it show up in relationships? In this episode of the Spaghetti Wall Podcast, Jason Wilcox, LCSW, and Dr. Thaen Saelee, licensed clinical psychologist, unpack the difference between intentional emotional provocation and normal emotional reactivity. Is your partner truly trying to trigger you—or are you both caught in defensiveness, core beliefs, and unresolved pain? We explore: What rage baiting really is (and isn’t)The role of intentionality in conflictWhy trending psychological labels (gaslighting, narcissism, etc.) can harm relationships when misusedThe difference between moral outrage and emotional dysregulationHow to pause, regulate, and reconnect instead of escalating If you’ve ever felt “pushed” in an argument—or been accused of pushing someone else’s buttons—this episode will help you slow down, reflect, and respond with clarity instead of reactivity. Connection before correction. Always.

    20 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Welcome to The Spaghetti Wall—the show where we throw big ideas at the wall of life and see what sticks. Hosted by Jason Wilcox, LCSW and Dr. Thaen Saelee. We’re here to talk about mental health, happiness, and what it really means to live well in a world that often feels like it’s spinning out of control. Whether you’re surviving, thriving, or somewhere in between, this podcast is your weekly dose of honest conversations, real tools, and surprising truths. No fluff, no filters—just relatable stories, practical insight, and maybe a little humor along the way. So if you’ve ever asked yourself “Am I okay?”, “Why does life feel so heavy sometimes?”, or “How do I find joy again?”—you’re in the right place. Together, we’re going to explore the messy, beautiful, frustrating, funny, and deeply human parts of this journey. Because here at The Spaghetti Wall, the mess is the method.

Information

  • Creator
    Avid Counseling Services
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    34
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Avid Counseling Services
  • Show Website
    The Spaghetti Wall