258 episodes

The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.

The Topical The Onion

    • Comedy
    • 4.6 • 1.4K Ratings

The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.

    The Final Episode Of The Topical

    The Final Episode Of The Topical

    Leslie Price returns from a months-long investigation to serve as host of America’s only daily news podcast one last time.
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    • 15 min
    Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce

    Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce

    Hear why PETA is coming to the defense of these over-bread monstrosities that exist for the sole purpose of having fresh tomato paste extracted from their many teat-like protuberances.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    • 9 min
    Scientists Warn Americans To Stay Away From That Bird

    Scientists Warn Americans To Stay Away From That Bird

    It looks dirty, and it’s doing a weird thing with its wings. Hear why it would be best if you just didn’t go near it.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    • 8 min
    Nation’s Arborists Once Again Urge Congress To Lower The Age Of Consent For Trees

    Nation’s Arborists Once Again Urge Congress To Lower The Age Of Consent For Trees

    Hear why these arborists believe that if the fruit’s on the ground, it’s ready to pound.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    • 9 min
    Paleontologists Determine Dinosaurs Were Killed By Someone They Trusted

    Paleontologists Determine Dinosaurs Were Killed By Someone They Trusted

    Plus, from royalty to recluse, we’ll sit down with a former prom king who now lives anonymously among the commoners.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    • 9 min
    Team Of Vatican Geneticists Successfully Clone God

    Team Of Vatican Geneticists Successfully Clone God

    It’s an awe-inspiring scientific advancement, but is it ethical? Hear why critics say these geneticists shouldn’t be playing God on God by making God.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    • 8 min

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5
1.4K Ratings

1.4K Ratings

natxcv ,

That’s not me crying, it’s the Onion!

Please come back. I need something to make me laugh in the morning! 🥺

MilleyMoose ,

COME BACK

😫😢😭

1percentfake ,

Rip the dear

I can’t believe the obsessed fan shot that dear it feels bad man

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