On this edition of The Update Journal, we begin by honoring the true soldiers of the school year — the ones who never get a prep period, never get a lunch break, and somehow are always expected to perform miracles five minutes before dismissal. Today, we salute the main office printer, a machine that has survived permission slips, attendance sheets, event flyers, missing homework packets, last-minute schedules, and at least twelve people saying, “Can you print this real quick?” like that phrase has ever meant anything quick in the history of education. Then, our summertime watchlist continues with Interview With the Vampire, Episode 2: “He Had a Way About Him… And Apparently a Casino Budget.” Louis continues getting pulled deeper into Lestat’s spell because, as he puts it, Lestat “had a way about him.” And apparently that “way” includes emotional manipulation, vampire mess, and the kind of financial flexibility where buying someone a casino is treated like picking up a birthday card from CVS. Louis is trying to understand his new life, his new urges, and the growing distance from his family, while Lestat is out here handling conflict like, “Have you considered real estate?” And finally, we talk about the last week of school — also known as organized chaos with bulletin boards. The kids can smell summer vacation. The adults can smell burnout. The building is running on half-empty coffee cups, lost permission slips, hallway announcements, and the collective prayer that nobody does anything wild before the final bell. It is the one week where everyone is physically present, mentally on a beach, and emotionally one printer jam away from a full collapse. In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Monday, A 51-year-old Connecticut man fell to his death from an upper deck of Madison Square Garden during a concert on Saturday night, police said. Four people — including two teens — were shot and wounded in a wild shootout that erupted at a Big Apple park Saturday night, cops said. And in Chicago, a spate of shootings in Chicago has led to at least seven deaths and 38 injuries since Friday evening, police say, prompting President Trump to renew his call for a military intervention in the nation’s third-largest city.