300 episodes

The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.

The Virtual Couch The Virtual Couch Network

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.9 • 617 Ratings

The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.

    From Therapy Couch to Moving Trucks: A Tale of Change Through ALL the Uncomfortable Feelings!

    From Therapy Couch to Moving Trucks: A Tale of Change Through ALL the Uncomfortable Feelings!

    Tony shares his recent experiences with change, moving, and personal growth. Tony discusses the unexpected lessons learned from moving out of his home after 25 years, selling items on Facebook Marketplace, dealing with moving trucks, and the psychology of facing unknown challenges. He reflects on how accepting and navigating through the discomfort of change has provided opportunities for growth and understanding. Tony emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, making decisions amidst uncertainty, and the value of experiencing life's twists and turns. This episode encourages listeners to embrace change as a pathway to self-discovery and personal development. Tony references the article "Your Brain Thinks Change is a Good as Rest" by E. Paul Zehr, Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/black-belt-brain/202210/your-brain-thinks-change-is-as-good-as-rest (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/black-belt-brain/202210/your-brain-thinks-change-is-as-good-as-rest)00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: A Dive into Change and Personal Growth00:39 The Therapist's Couch: More Than Just Furniture01:59 Embracing Change: Personal Stories and Professional Insights02:20 The Move to Arizona: A Catalyst for Reflection and Growth06:41 Understanding Fatigue: Physical and Mental Aspects22:47 The Power of Discomfort in Personal Growth25:03 Procrastination and the Promise of Change25:24 Exploring Fatigue: Internal vs. External Causes27:16 The Personal Journey of Embracing Change28:06 The Power of Meditation and Mindfulness30:19 Moving Adventures: Decluttering and Preparing34:26 Navigating the Real Estate and Moving Process39:14 Learning from the Unexpected: Sales and Acceptance46:53 Reflections on Growth, Decisions, and Mental HealthTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-coursePlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

    • 51 min
    Death By a Thousand Cuts VII - The Rise of the Emotionally Mature!

    Death By a Thousand Cuts VII - The Rise of the Emotionally Mature!

    In the 7th installment of the "Death by a Thousand Cuts" series, Tony Overbay, LMFT, presents a compelling crossover episode between The Virtual Couch and Waking Up to Narcissism. This episode delves into the complex journey of healing and empowerment for individuals who have survived relationships characterized by emotional immaturity, narcissism, and controlling behavior. Through a blend of personal narratives and expert analysis, Tony shares the nuanced and significant harm inflicted by the 'Death by a Thousand Cuts' phenomenon—a metaphor highlighting the cumulative effect of repeated emotional injuries from narcissistic and emotionally immature partners.Addressing key issues such as emotional abuse, coercive control, financial abuse, sexual abuse within the relationship, manipulation, boundaries vs. ultimatums, and the critical need for self-validation, Tony provides listeners with practical coping strategies. These strategies underscore the importance of self-reflection, seeking professional guidance, and engaging with supportive communities as vital steps in shedding the lingering effects of controlling relationships.This episode aims to reassure listeners that they are not isolated in their experiences of unhealthy relationships. It also serves as a resource for those seeking to support family members entangled in abusive dynamics, offering insight into effective ways to provide meaningful support beyond mere words of encouragement. Tony seeks to empower listeners to recognize their inherent worth and foster healthy, mature connections by advocating for relationships grounded in respect and empathy.00:00 Welcome to the Crossover Episode: Unpacking Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity00:37 Why Today's Episode Matters: Exploring 'Death by a Thousand Cuts'01:58 Moving Week and Virtual Client Opportunities03:58 Understanding Emotional Cuts and Their Impact05:58 The Challenge of Seeking Validation and Understanding09:24 Creating Supportive Spaces for Emotional Growth12:36 Diving into Real-Life Stories of Emotional Immaturity23:49 The Frustrating Dynamics of Emotional Immaturity in Relationships33:57 Navigating the Complexities of Emotional Immaturity and Narcissism34:54 The Emotional Toll of Unvalidated Feelings36:07 Navigating Emotional Safety in Relationships36:19 The Subtle Manipulations of Emotional Abuse37:00 Parenting Amidst Emotional Manipulation38:29 Understanding the Impact of Emotional Abuse Through Stories46:33 The Role of Pornography in Emotionally Immature Relationships01:00:43 Financial Control and Emotional Abuse01:07:45 Finding Healing and Empowerment

    • 1 hr 15 min
    The Therapist's Guide to Strengthening Relationships Through Self-Discovery (Differentiation) and Connection (EFT/4 PIllars)

    The Therapist's Guide to Strengthening Relationships Through Self-Discovery (Differentiation) and Connection (EFT/4 PIllars)

    Tony navigates the intricate balance that defines successful partnerships: the harmony between deep emotional connections with your partner and the pursuit of individual growth. Drawing from the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Crucible Approach, with an emphasis on self-differentiation, he shares his own growth experience as a couples therapist over the past 15 years as he has learned how these two aspects—often seen as opposing forces—can complement and enhance each other within a relationship and provide therapists with a more robust toolkit to use when working with couples with a variety of attachment styles, and backgrounds. Tony explains that facilitating relationship growth is akin to performing a delicate balancing act, where maintaining a close bond with your partner and fostering personal development are both crucial. EFT offers insights into creating a nurturing and supportive environment, encouraging couples to open up and strengthen their emotional ties. On the other hand, the Crucible Approach emphasizes the importance of individuality and self-growth, urging partners to preserve their unique identities even as they grow closer together. Tony shares practical advice and strategies for couples at any stage of their relationship, aiming to make the concepts of emotional connection and personal growth accessible and actionable. He shares how to cultivate a relationship that embraces unity and individual strength, leading to a more dynamic, supportive, and fulfilling partnership.00:00 Welcome and Introduction: The Journey of a Therapist00:39 Diving Into Emotional Architects: A New Approach to Men's Emotional Growth01:53 Exploring Healthy vs. Unhealthy Egos in Relationships05:56 The Evolution of Couples Therapy: From No Secrets Policy to Emotional Honesty12:19 Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) vs. The Crucible Approach: A Therapist's Perspective22:09 Blending EFT and The Crucible Approach: A New Paradigm in Couples Therapy30:57 Attachment Theory and EFT: Understanding Relationship Dynamics33:05 Exploring Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples40:19 Deep Dive into Crucible Approach: A New Perspective on Therapy40:51 Differentiation and Personal Growth: A Crucial Element in Relationships44:38 The Crucible Method: Transforming Sexual Intimacy and Personal Growth47:08 Facing Conflict Head-On: The Crucible Approach to Relationship Challenges49:54 Applying Differentiation to EFT Concepts: A Comparative Analysis01:08:48 Conclusion: Embracing Growth and Self-Discovery in RelationshipsTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-coursePlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words,

    • 1 hr 13 min
    Spoiler Alert: “NO!” to the question “Is God Disappointed in Me?” — Author Kurt Francom’s New Book!

    Spoiler Alert: “NO!” to the question “Is God Disappointed in Me?” — Author Kurt Francom’s New Book!

    Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Kurt Francom, the executive director and podcast host of Leading Saints ([Leading Saints](https://www.leadingsaints.org)). Kurt's first book, "Is God Disappoin...

    • 53 min
    Understanding Grief, Loss, Growth, and Rebuilding w/Marla Christensen, AMFT

    Understanding Grief, Loss, Growth, and Rebuilding w/Marla Christensen, AMFT

    Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, joins Tony on the Virtual Couch to discuss dealing with grief and loss. Marla is a new associate working with Tony. Marla received her master's degree in clinical psychology from Pepperdine University. She shares her passion for her work in mental health counseling and touches on her own personal experience about shifting from being a stay-at-home mom to a counselor following a divorce. Marla discusses her approach to dealing with grief and loss in clients, which she shares as an inescapable human experience. She elaborates on the stages of grief as proposed by Elizabeth Kubler Ross, shedding light on David Kessler’s addition of the sixth stage, 'reconstruction/rebuilding'. Emphasizing the subjectivity of the grieving process, Marla recommends being compassionate, patient, and welcoming toward one's emotions throughout. She also talks about the role of religion and spirituality in helping individuals rebound quickly from grief due to the sense of community they provide.Marla and her husband, Nate Christensen, APCC, host the podcast “Working Change,” which you can find wherever you listen to podcasts or visit https://blubrry.com/workingchange. Marla has a few openings and can be reached directly at marlachristensencounseling@gmail.com, or you can reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com00:00 Introduction and Welcoming Marla00:22 Getting to Know Marla: Her Journey into Therapy01:20 Marla's Early Years and Path to Therapy02:20 Marla's Podcast and Mental Health Advocacy03:08 Marla's Experience with Grief and Loss04:11 The Impact of Life Experience on Therapy05:58 Understanding Grief and Loss08:50 The Stages of Grief27:42 The Role of Religion and Spirituality in Grief30:08 Final Thoughts and Advice on Navigating GriefTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-coursePlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

    • 40 min
    A New Perspective on Modern Parenting: Living in the Present (aka Herding Cats)

    A New Perspective on Modern Parenting: Living in the Present (aka Herding Cats)

    Tony Overbay, LMFT, offers an in-depth exploration of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and The Nurtured Heart Approach (NHA) to provide a fresh perspective on mindful parenting. The...

    • 43 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
617 Ratings

617 Ratings

Kaveman#1 ,

Weekly therapy nuggets

I’m so grateful to live in a time of information and for the technology to give professionals like Tony a platform to teach people like me. I have learned so much about myself and about the relationships in my life and has helped me navigate some difficult situations from the topics of discussion on the virtual couch podcast. Thank you for being vulnerable in your teaching quest to help me feel validated in my own human experiences.

jwsides ,

Life saving podcast

This podcast is helping me change. I am a better wife, mother, friend and employee thanks to the lessons I am learning from Tony. The four pillars of a connected conversation help me strengthen the relationships I value. Tony is the best!

K10paige ,

For all levels

Whether you are a beginner in the therapy/psychology realm or a pro, this podcast will teach you something new everytime! “Wow, that makes so much sense.” “Oh my gosh I’ve never thought about it that way.” And “that makes me feel so much better” are all phrases that will run through your head when you listen to Tony’s podcast!

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