This Complex Life Marie Vakakis

In today's episode, the tables have turned as Jodi Green interviews me, discussing some of the differences between coaching and therapy.
Key Insights:
Coaching vs. Therapy: We discuss the distinctions between coaching and therapy in supporting folk with ADHD. We explore the differences and similaritiesImpact on Relationships: Addressing the ripple effects of ADHD on personal connections. From executive functioning challenges to time blindness and rejection sensitivity, we explore how these factors can influence the dynamics of relationships.Trial and Error in Therapy: Embracing the journey of self-discovery and experimentation. Highlighting the importance of building trust, recognising individual needs, and fostering a supportive environment for clients to voice their preferences.

About your guest
Jodi Green
''I believe in people with ADHD. I am here to be your coach and cheerleader as you find the sweet spot in your life, with ADHD in the mix. I am a certified ADHD Life Coach, and over the last 6 years I've helped hundreds of people living with ADHD. Personal and professional experience mean I know it's not easy, but I think I've figured out the perfect mix of support and coaching (IMHO!). If you are willing to believe in yourself, and want a partner to walk with you along the weekly ups and downs towards your goals, I'm your girl.''

https://www.adhd-id.com.au/adhd-coach-melbourne/

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The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/
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https://marievakakis.com.au/
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In this episode of This Complex Life, I talk with Jodi Green, an ADHD coach about ADHD, the impact it can have on relationships and strategies for managing it.
Key Takeaways:
Jodi Green emphasises that ADHD coaching is not about forcing someone into doing hard things; it's more about making tasks achievable and finding strategies to make them more interesting or easier.Tipping points in life, such as transitions from high school to university or entering the workforce, can trigger a need for new strategies to cope with changing structures.Many women get diagnosed later in life, often due to shifting structures like motherhood, we discuss the importance of being open to exploring how tasks can be made more manageable.ADHD affects executive functions, such as planning, organising, and time management, which can lead to various challenges in daily life. These challenges are unique to each individual with ADHD.The impact of undiagnosed ADHD can lead to feelings of shame, self-doubt, and internalised negative beliefs. Diagnosis can provide clarity and understanding, allowing individuals to reframe their experiences.Rejection sensitivity is common in people with ADHD, and it can affect relationships. Understanding that emotional reactions are often related to ADHD symptoms can help partners provide support and empathy.Effective communication in relationships involves recognising the root causes of behaviours related to ADHD. It's important to avoid the parent-child dynamic and instead focus on collaborative problem-solving.ADHD can lead to hyperfixation on certain tasks or interests. While some tasks may be less enjoyable, Jodi suggests finding ways to make them more engaging or outsourcing them.Jodi recommends that adults who suspect they have ADHD seek a diagnosis through a psychologist or psychiatrist. Don't hesitate to seek a second opinion.The transition from high school to college or the workforce can be a tipping point for individuals with ADHD, as structures change, and new challenges emerge.Coaching can be a valuable resource for adults with ADHD, helping them identify strategies and solutions tailored to their unique challenges.In seeking a coach, it's essential to look for professionals who have received specific ADHD coaching training and, if possible, are members of the International Coach Federation (ICF) to ensure ethical standards.
Connect with Marie
https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/

Connect with Jodi
https://www.adhd-id.com.au/adhd-coach-melbourne/

Join me as we explore this common challenge and discover strategies to build better communication.
Key Takeaways:
Teens want to feel heard, validated, and empathised with. Avoid offering unsolicited advice, as it can disconnect you from your teen. Instead, acknowledge their struggles, give them space, and ask for permission before sharing your advice.Chores and responsibilities can strain the parent-teen relationship. Balance out your interactions by acknowledging and appreciating their efforts. Show that you notice their good qualities and hard work, not just their shortcomings.Understand that teens' brains process information differently. They prioritise novel and external stimuli, so it's not about ignoring you intentionally. 
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https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

 Understanding the Situation:
School can be a whirlwind of activity, especially for teenagers. Multiple classes, changing environments, social dynamics—it's a lot to handle.The transition from school to home can be challenging. Teens may need time to decompress and de-stress.When parents bombard them with questions immediately, it can feel overwhelming and irritating.
💡 Tips for Better Communication:
Give Space: Instead of asking a barrage of questions, greet your teen with a simple "Hey, nice to see you." Let them know it's okay to take time for themselves. Connect later when they're more relaxed.
Find Common Ground: If your teen isn't enthusiastic about school, shift the conversation to their interests or hobbies. Ask about friends, sports, or any other topics they're passionate about.

Respect Their Routines: Understand that after-school activities, like tutoring or sports, may further drain their energy. Let them decompress on their terms.





connect with Marie
https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

I speak about some of the unique challenges parents often face as their children transition into their teenage years. This phase can be a time of perceived rejection as teens assert their independence, leaving parents feeling less needed.
Key takeaways:
Understanding the Transition:
Adolescence marks a significant shift from childhood to the teenage years, accompanied by changes in friendship groups and the move to high school.Teens naturally seek independence and autonomy as they explore their identities, often making parents feel rejected or unneeded.
Shifting Roles:
Parents must recognise the change from a "manager" role to a "consultant." Your position description evolves, but you remain a crucial part of your teen's life.Avoid responding as if you've been "fired" from your role. Instead, consider how you can adapt to this new position as a consultant.
Managing Your Reactions:
Reflect on how you respond to situations that might feel like rejection. Identify the specific triggers and your emotional reactions, such as sadness, loneliness, or frustration.Avoid projecting your hurt onto your teen. Be aware that your emotions are shaped by your interpretation of their actions.
Open and Honest Communication:
Use clear, non-judgmental language to express your desire for connection. Instead of passive-aggressive comments, be direct about your wishes.
Modelling Accountability:
Apologise and take responsibility for your reactions when you react poorly to a situation.Encourage your teen to communicate their feelings without feeling responsible for your emotions.
Addressing Hurtful Comments:
When your teen makes hurtful comments, such as "I hate you," try to identify the underlying emotion, like disappointment or anger.Address the specific emotion rather than justifying your actions. Show understanding and empathy.
Setting Boundaries:
Establish healthy boundaries to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Clearly communicate what you can and can't do to manage your time and commitments.Teach your teen the importance of setting boundaries by respecting their limits as well.
Prioritising Self-Care:
Self-care is essential to maintaining your well-being and role-modeling emotional resilience.Demonstrating your ability to handle ups and downs calmly and collectedly can positively impact your teen's emotional development.
Remember, it takes a calm brain to calm a brain. 
By focusing on understanding, empathy, and effective communication, you can navigate the challenges of this phase with your teenager while maintaining a strong and supportive relationship. 
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https://marievakakis.com.au/my-teen-wont-talk-to-me/


connect with Marie
https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/
Mentioned in this episode:
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In today's episode, we delve into a complex and deeply human emotion: rejection. It's a feeling that touches all of us at some point or another, and it's something that we all need to navigate.
Key Takeaways:
Rejection is a normal feeling. It's often closely associated with sadness Rejection can show up following a range of situations from not getting a job to the end of a relationship, and it can be emotionally crushing.Our core beliefs and self-esteem play a pivotal role in how we process and respond to rejection.Rejection can also impact our self-esteem - the two can be closely linkedOur brains don't like ambiguity, so they create stories to fill in the gaps when we face rejection. These stories can perpetuate negative beliefs about ourselves.How we respond to rejection can have a profound impact on our relationships and mental health.We're hardwired for connection, and our brains interpret rejection as physical pain. This explains why rejection can feel so agonizing.Some individuals have heightened sensitivities to rejection, which can stem from early experiences or conditions like ADHD.Rejection can lead to a sense of learned helplessness, which can further damage our self-esteem
In part one of this two-part series, we've explored the nuances of rejection and its profound impact on our lives. We've uncovered how our core beliefs, self-esteem, and responses play a role in how we experience rejection. Stay tuned for part two, where we delve into the complexities of rejection in parenting, particularly during the challenging transition from childhood to adolescence.
Mentioned in this episode:
Book your spot now
Grab your ticket to Connected Teens
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