🎧 Those D*mn Brownies — Season 2, Episode 2: Chapter 9: How to Kill Your Mother in 99 Easy Steps Biscuit is barking at the dark like the fate of the household depends on it. Daz has a broom. Pooky has a chair. Snooker has a dinner fork. Weewee has a butter knife that may or may not have chosen them for greatness. And Bubby Vama? Bubby Vama opens the door and tells the thing outside: not tonight. After the woods are dismissed — not defeated, mind you, dismissed — the kettle starts muttering again, the bread appears, the tea pours itself, and Bubby Vama decides that if no one is sleeping, it is time for truth tellin’. Unfortunately, some truths do not arrive politely. In this chapter, Daz and Pooky begin to learn why Bubby Vama’s house feels so familiar, why grief keeps rising out of ordinary things like chipped blue cups and pie dough, and why Hope’s absence is tangled up with memory, betrayal, a kingdom that forgot too quickly, and a dragon who was never what the story said she was. There will be fresh bread. There will be magical household judgment. There will be tiny beings with enormous emotional opinions. There will be one dachshund refusing to let despair have the whole room. And somewhere between tea, butter, old grief, and the thing breathing outside the door, Daz and Pooky will discover that fairy tales do not always lie. Sometimes they were lied to first. In This Episode — Spoiler-Free: In Chapter 9, you’ll find: ● Biscuit defending Bubby Vama’s back door like a tiny red general. ● Daz armed with a broom and Pooky armed with a chair, because magical danger does not always wait for proper weapons. ● Snooker and Weewee attempting heroic table defense with cutlery. ● A butter knife with suspiciously strong opinions. ● Bubby Vama calmly dismissing something vast, hungry, and unseen from her doorstep. ● Tea, bread, butter, sausage, and the kind of hospitality that knows when people are about to fall apart. ● A magical house with boundaries, emotional intelligence, and at least one judgmental wooden spoon. ● Old memories surfacing through cups, windows, pie dough, cold air, and grief. ● The truth behind a kingdom’s heroic story beginning to crack open. ● Hope being remembered not as an idea, but as someone stubborn, brilliant, furious, and deeply loved. ● Biscuit proving once again that dogs remember with their hearts first. ● Cozy fantasy with bite, butter, betrayal, and one very serious question: what do you do when the story that made you a hero was built on a lie? ⚠️ Content Advisory: Cozy fantasy peril, ominous woods, something unseen outside the house, emotional distress, grief, memory loss, magical manipulation, betrayal by a ruler, family trauma, discussion of a dragon’s death, discussion of a parent’s death, references to violence and false heroism, intense revelations about forgotten loved ones, and characters processing guilt, despair, and survival. Also contains magical household judgment, tiny cutlery-based bravery, fresh bread, butter, sausage, and one dachshund doing essential anti-despair work. 🎧 Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts: Spotify • Apple • YouTube • and beyond https://linktr.ee/glorywritestheblues ✨ And if you want more of my audio stories, you can also listen to: Sadie Cohen: Bounty Hunter https://gloryfink.substack.com/s/sadie-cohen-bounty-hunter Boarding School Murder Mystery https://gloryfink.substack.com/s/boarding-school-murder-mystery The Trouble with Angels https://gloryfink.substack.com/s/the-trouble-with-angels 📬 Subscribe for the paperwork — and the story: Chapters, audio updates, and assorted fairy-tale nonsense arrive via inbox. Compliance is optional, but encouraged. Biscuit is watching. Lovingly. 👉 https://gloryfink.substack.com/ 💛 Help This Story Keep Finding Its People: ❤️ Tap the heart button — engagement is magic. 💬 Leave a comment — what would your magical house hide in a drawer until exactly the worst possible emotional moment? 💛 Become a Financial Booster Paid subs and tips directly fund writing time, audio production, and whatever fresh nonsense the fair folk approve of next. 🎉 Birthday Month Special: All May 2026, get 50% off your annual membership and help support more indie stories, audio episodes, magical mischief, and snack-based plot developments. ☕ You can become a financial booster by becoming a paid subscriber to our Substack, or you can toss a few coins in our coffee fund on → Ko-fi | Venmo | CashApp Your support keeps indie storytelling caffeinated, chaotic, and just enchanted enough. Credits Written & Read by Glory Fink Sound Engineering by Tom Fink Original Story Series: Gloryous Magazine on Substack Theme Music: FairyTale Waltz — Kevin MacLeod Additional Music: I'll Remember You — Jeremy Blake Additional Music: Lullaby - JVNA ✨ Read/Listen If You Love Willow-inspired brownie chaos Folklore creatures with no manners and excellent survival instincts Cozy fantasy with teeth Dogs who know exactly where the plot is hiding Fairy-tale narrators with a wink Tiny people making enormous problems, and occasionally solving them Stories within stories Magical households, ancient siblings, and snack-based diplomacy Terry Pratchett-adjacent mischief Diana Wynne Jones-style enchantment The Borrowers, but more feral The Princess Bride energy, if the tiny side characters stole from birds first 📬 Subscribe for the paperwork — and the story Chapters, audio updates, and assorted fairy-tale nonsense arrive via inbox. Subscription is optional, but encouraged. 👉 https://gloryfink.substack.com/s/those-dmn-brownies ✅ New here? Start at the beginning Season 1, Episode 1 / Chapter 1: Biscuit’s Moonlit Hunt https://gloryfink.substack.com/p/those-dmn-brownies-biscuits-moonlit 🔥 Already into it / want the newest arc? Start Season 2 Season 2, Episode 1 / Chapter 8: “Be Careful, Darlings, For the Woods Eat Questions After Dark”https://gloryfink.substack.com/p/those-dmn-brownies-season-2-episode ☕ Coffee Bunny Crafter’s Café — cozy chaos + BTS: 👉 https://coffeebunny.substack.com?utm_source=substack&utm_campaign=publication_embed&utm_medium=web 🌤️ BlueSky 📸 Instagram 📹 YouTube 🎮 Twitch 📘 Facebook 🎵 TikTok @ Threads Until Next Time… Keep your pockets ready, your snacks accounted for, and your dachshund close. Trust the dog. Distrust the king. And never ignore a house that keeps receipts. Get full access to Gloryous Magazine at gloryfink.substack.com/subscribe
