Thot Topics explores the most pressing questions for a world on fire: Why do I hate living in a culture? What would it take for Katy Perry to make a comeback? And most importantly- do I look fat in these jeans?
Nick Malone and Cris Lopez provide the definitive ignorant and homophobic take on music, culture, gay rights and gay wrongs, live from behind their sweet racks. If you've ever felt gaslit by gay Twitter, or by a sizing chart while online shopping, this will be the sisterhood of a lifetime.
Oh my God, somebody HELP! Matt Damon is chasing me down the street and calling me a f*****g F****T!
Welcome back to our Barbie Dream House of cosmic justice to all little thotties and recent converts. We welcome you with open, warm, and supple bosom to take a look back at all things gay-as-in-stupid online this week. We're sorry we took a little break, but we explain our brief sabbatical in extensive detail. Now take your bra off, throw on a nightgown, and grab a pillow-- it's about to get naughty!!
This week, we discuss the gay equivalent of storming the beach at Normandy, AKA the death of fleets on Twitter; DaBaby's totally valid and possibly even true feelings on gay men with AIDS; Lil Nas X's beautiful dark twisted prison shower fantasy; whether Jack Harlow is hot; and finally provide a definitive list of who is and who is not allowed to say "the f-slur." It's chock full of flavor-- take a BIG, DECADENT, SINFUL bite, and then spit it out. Every calorie counts!!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Help us financially recover from Matt Damon's abuses on Patreon.
You know you love us... XOXO, The Thot Topics Girls...
Peppa who? Pig girl. We're back with a vengeance to review the dreaded Gossip Girl reboot, and it's a boot indeed. We answer all the burning questions: Can you make a good TV drama that revolves around iPhones? Is this literally just The Shade Room? Is it actually better to cast horny teens that are actually teens? ALL is revealed.
Plus, we illegally enter the White House rose garden to confront Olivia Rodrigo over her "collab" with Joe Biden. We discuss whether we regret being vaccinated, but are soon sidetracked by all the times that we have lied to Uber drivers.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Make us the newest members of Manhattan's elite on Patreon.
It's not too late to buy merch! We had to jack up the prices a little bit because of supply shortages but we promise we'll get everything to you ASAP.
Edward Vaginafingers! (feat. @yourfriendmyles)
On the first day, God f****d him all night. On the second day, God f****d him all day. On the third day, God f****d him on sight. On the fourth day, God f****d him all ways. We come to you in radical faith to spread His word. Amen, baby.
The Thot Topics e-lounge was starting to collect dust so we decided to shake out the curtains and let in the LIGHT, better known as beloved Twitter gay and friend of the pod MYLES for an excruciatingly thorough girls chat of Byzantine proportions.
First, we unpack feeling gaslit by the Azealia Banks comeback single "F**k Him All Night." THEN, we discuss the CDC warning on poppers and the subsequent f****t panic: Nick unveils some childhood trauma and the girls settle the great Poppers debate once and for all in the process. Last but not least, we take on QUEERBAITING (!!!) Can women even do it? What makes men do it besides weird exhibitionist kinks? ALL is revealed-- especially our breasts.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Donate to the American Poppers Lobby on Patreon.
Follow the lovely and kindhearted Myles @yourfriendmyles.
Is This Seat Theyken?
Oh f**k!! I just spilled genderfluid all over the IKEA loveseat! Sure would be a shame if someone were to... soak it up... with THEIR big ass...
We took a little break, but now it's back to us. The docket is long. The docket is thick. The docket will not be important in three days. GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT. After a riveting discussion of our teenage employment histories, we launch into the nitty-gritty: first, the IKEA pride couches. Which one would be the most comfortable for a nap? Which niche gender has the best style? What would the gay guy couch REALLY look like?
Then, we take a firm stance on the Delta Variant (known to the medical community as the Derrick Barryant), Freeing Britney, and Lil Nas X's Egyptacular gay performance.
OUR SUMMER MERCH LINE IS OUT!! Cop you a piece right now at thottopics.bigcartel.com. Use promo code BIGKAHUNA for a free I ❤️ Bussy wristband with the order of any T-shirt.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Help us buy a sound effects machine on Patreon.
You better axe somebody! (That somebody being us!)
We welcome our precious, misguided and predominantly gay male listeners onto the back porch for an in-depth therapy session for the second THOTLINE episode. After a riveting conversation about various fast sandwich chains, we launch into our listener's quandaries. We explore our listener base's psyche with an emphasis on C**T: CARING for the broken spirit. UNLEARNING our psychic traumas. N-GAGING on a human level, and TASTING an assortment of snacking cheeses. It's a tried and true method informed by Jung, Lacan, and the mom who is a therapist in Love, Simon.
We cover a lot of ground here, folks: How does one motivate themselves to get social again after being a Covid shut-in? Is it okay to be gay and not want to f**k and suck all the time? What should you do if your romantic interest has taken to wearing statement hats? Is Jack Antonoff a total psyop? All of this and MORE is laid bare, sweetheart.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Make our hotline bling on Patreon.
Ace and Based!
What's black and brown and intersex all over? Wait, I think I f****d that up...
In one of the sweatiest episodes of all time, the girls return after a weeklong sabbatical to tackle this year's truly monstrous early pride-month discourse while eating a military ready-to-eat meal. We take on the NEW new pride flag piece by r-worded piece, from the new intersex circle, to the trans colors, to the black and brown stripes, diagnosing each group with a disease of the spirit. Then, we endure Nina West's Blue's Clues pride parade video, and finally decide whether gay people should be on TV at all.
But that's not all: is it still hard to be gay? What's the gayest branch of the military? Are adults entitled to express their sexuality once they have kids? (No) It's an extremely juicy one.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Crack us open an ice cold Michelobeon on Patreon.
Don't forget to submit your questions to the THOTLINE for next week's episode: ThotTopicsPod@gmail.com or call us at (872) 239-6261.
It’s the podcast for me
Waste of time
One of the hosts is openly racist on Twitter under the guise of being “different” from everyone else. Likewise, the podcast is full of uninformed, ignorant, and antagonistic opinions that are commonly found on anonymous messaging boards frequented by teens who don’t know any better. Your time is better spent elsewhere.