Three Percent

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  • 5.0 (83)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to Three Percent. This is your space if you’re on a journey of pursuing holistic masculinity, growing your emotional awareness, and cultivating deeper relationships and an authentic faith. We’re here to provide evidence-based guidance and proven strategies drawn from our experiences as therapists, friends, and mentors. We aren’t here to give you gimmicks or superficial “hacks.” We’re not telling you who to be, we're helping you uncover what gets in the way of being the man you want to be and offering you the authentic tools needed for tangible growth.

  1. 13h ago

    A Field Guide to the 3%: Part One

    What if the thing running your life isn't a choice — it's just the way your brain learned to stay safe? Jamie and Blake are back with something a little different. Fresh off their annual retreat in Smithville, Tennessee, they're pulling back the curtain on a book they're writing — a field guide to the 3% — and using this episode to work through the big questions that anchor part one: the 3% that happened to you. No guest, no filter, just two friends and therapists getting into the neuroscience, the theology, and the deeply personal reality of why the past doesn't just stay in the past. This is one of the more honest episodes they've recorded. Jamie shares openly about building his identity around his story of abuse — not to heal, but to get the hit of care that felt like worth. Blake gets into the neurobiology of why your brain is literally wired to encode pain louder than joy. And together they make a case for why the most countercultural thing a man can do is bring his hidden 3% into the light of real relationship. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why a memory that lasted an afternoon can run someone's life for decades — and why that's not a choice How the lower brain processes emotion and threat 1,000 times faster than the thinking brain What negativity bias is and why your brain encodes painful experiences with more color and context than positive ones The difference between guilt and shame — and why the distinction changes how you recover Why shame feels solitary but is actually born in relationship — and why it heals the same way Why keeping something secret does more damage over time than the original wound The difference between naming what happened to you and building your identity around it CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: men's mental health, carnivore diet, never show feelings (02:00) Fresh off retreat: Jamie and Blake are writing a field guide (06:00) What the book is — three sections, field guide format, under 100 pages (08:00) Part one: the 3% that happened to you (09:00) Question 1: Why does a memory that lasted an afternoon run someone's life for decades? (11:00) The top brain and the bottom brain — why emotion outruns logic (17:00) Your body is still running from a tiger that left years ago (18:00) Negativity bias: why your brain encodes pain louder than joy (21:00) Question 2: What's the difference between guilt and shame? (24:00) Shame as identity vs. guilt as behavior — and why it matters (25:00) Shame feels solitary but happens first in relationship (28:00) What it means to have a "regulated other" — and what happens when you don't (32:00) Question 3: Why does keeping a secret do more damage than the thing itself? (37:00) Question 4: What's the difference between naming your story and building your identity around it? (38:00) Jamie gets honest about seeking applause instead of attachment LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Brené Brown on guilt vs. shame (referenced): https://brenebrown.com/ KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, field guide, 3% book, shame, guilt, trauma, negativity bias, neuroscience, limbic system, nervous system, men's mental health, healing, attachment, regulated other, vulnerability, identity, personal growth, holistic masculinity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  2. Jul 20

    You're Not Bad at Emotions. You're Good at Hiding Them with Morgan Burch

    What if the reason your conversations keep going sideways has nothing to do with what you're saying — and everything to do with what you're actually feeling underneath it? In this episode, Jamie and Blake welcome their friend Morgan Burch — relationship coach and creator of the SEEN Method — for a conversation recorded in person that feels less like an interview and more like a masterclass you didn't know you needed. Morgan breaks down the four-letter framework she developed out of her own marriage to help people move from barbed-wire communication to actual vulnerability. And what's wild is how simple it is — and how hard it is to do, because confusion and complication have always felt safer than being honest. This one is funny, personal, and quietly devastating in the best way. Jamie and Blake both get caught in real time. Dan (Morgan's husband) makes multiple appearances from the couch. And by the end, you'll have a completely different relationship with your anger, your disappointment, and the expectations you've been silently holding over everyone around you. KEY TAKEAWAYS What the SEEN Method is and why it works where other communication frameworks fall flat The difference between showing someone the barbed wire around a feeling and showing them the actual feeling Why negative emotions like anger and disappointment aren't walls — they're neon signs pointing to something you didn't know you needed Why confusion and complication can be a hiding place — and how to stop using them The mirror game: why the most healing thing you can do for someone is stop trying to fix them Why you can't fully receive from others what you haven't first given to yourself What it means that "avoidance is a privilege" — and what it costs you CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: I wasn't good at controlling my emotions — I was good at hiding them (02:00) Introducing Morgan Burch and the SEEN Method (06:00) How Morgan's marriage to Dan became the proving ground for everything she teaches (09:00) "I was showing him the barbed wire around the feeling, not the feeling" (13:00) S — Scared: what am I actually afraid this means? (13:00) E — Embarrassed: the vulnerable feeling underneath the protective one (21:00) E — Expectations: the hopes you didn't know you had (23:00) Why disappointment is a neon sign, not a character flaw (31:00) N — Need: what do I need, and can I give it to myself first? (40:00) The mirror game: reflect, don't fix (45:00) Morgan's story: using the SEEN Method with her own dad (57:00) "Nothing to prove, always more to learn, no great thing is done alone" LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Morgan Burch's Website + The Repair Lab: https://morganburch.com/ Morgan Burch on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodmorgan.therapy/ Eli Harwood (mentioned — "regulate before you educate"): https://www.eliharwood.com/ Dr. Becky Kennedy (mentioned — metabolizing emotions): https://www.drbeckyatgoodinside.com/ KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, Morgan Burch, SEEN Method, communication, relationships, vulnerability, emotional intelligence, repair lab, men's mental health, marriage, expectations, anger, conflict resolution, self-regulation, co-regulation, holistic masculinity, connection, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  3. Jul 13

    What Did You Expect Healing to Look Like?

    What if healing doesn't look anything like you expected? For many of us, healing starts with an unspoken goal: get rid of the anxiety, stop feeling angry, break the habit, or finally become the version of ourselves we think everyone else wants. But what if those expectations are actually keeping us stuck? In this honest and unscripted conversation, Blake and Jamie explore the hidden "rules" they've carried about healing. They reflect on how they once believed healing meant becoming free from anger, discomfort, or unwanted behaviors, only to discover that true healing is far more about curiosity, compassion, and learning to feel at home in their own bodies. This episode isn't about offering quick answers. It's an invitation to examine the expectations you've inherited, question the rules you've been living by, and begin imagining a different kind of healing. Key Takeaways - Healing isn't becoming someone else—it's becoming more fully yourself. - The behaviors we want to eliminate often begin as survival strategies that deserve curiosity before judgment. - Repressed anger doesn't disappear; it often turns inward in ways we don't recognize. - Many of our expectations about healing come from unspoken family or cultural "rules," not necessarily what's true. - Compassion creates more lasting transformation than shame ever could. - Healing is an evolving process, not a finish line. Chapters (00:00) What did you expect healing to look like? (05:18) The hidden rules we carry into healing (11:42) Why we thought healing meant "fixing" ourselves (18:55) Anger isn't the enemy (26:40) When survival strategies become self-harm (34:10) Why pornography, addiction, and numbing behaviors deserve compassion, not just condemnation (40:00) Feeling at home in your own body (45:15) The rules you inherited about healing (48:00) Letting go of expectations and preparing for Part Two Resources & Links Three Percent Co.: https://threepercentco.com/ Keywords healing, emotional healing, therapy, mental health, men's mental health, anger, shame, self-compassion, vulnerability, pornography recovery, addiction recovery, trauma, emotional health, nervous system, relationships, masculinity, Blake Roberts, Jamie Haigh, Three Percent Podcast, healing journey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  4. Jun 29

    Three Percent X Captains Collective: When Grit Isn't Enough

    What happens when two podcasts built around helping men flourish sit down together? In this special crossover episode, Jamie and Blake join Hunter Leavine, founder of The Captains Collective, for a conversation about masculinity, emotional health, vulnerability, and the healing power of community. Hunter shares his personal story of rebuilding after failure, the lessons he's learned from life on the water, and why nature often becomes the classroom where men finally begin telling the truth. Together they explore how outdoor adventure, emotional honesty, and meaningful brotherhood aren't competing paths—but complementary ones. Whether you're more comfortable on a fishing boat than in a therapist's office, or vice versa, this conversation builds a bridge between both worlds. Key Takeaways Healing begins where hiding ends. The things we keep locked away are often the very things keeping us disconnected from ourselves and others. Vulnerability creates permission. One honest conversation can transform an entire community. Nature has a way of restoring perspective. Time outdoors reminds us we're part of something much bigger than ourselves. The traits that once protected us don't have to define us forever. Growth isn't about becoming someone new—it's about healing what was wounded. Brotherhood is built through presence, not performance. Men don't need perfect answers—they need safe places to tell the truth. Resources & Links Learn more about Hunter Leavine & The Captains Collective:https://captainscollective.com/ Follow The Captains Collective:https://www.instagram.com/captainscollective/ Three Percent Podcast:https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Three Percent Community:https://threepercentco.com/membership Chapters (00:00) – Introducing the crossover episode (03:45) – Why the outdoor world and emotional health belong together (11:18) – Hunter's personal story of rebuilding after failure (20:04) – The hidden cost of emotional compartmentalization (31:22) – Why empathy disappears—and how it returns (46:40) – Mangroves, resilience, and learning to regrow (54:12) – Why vulnerability changes friendships forever (59:05) – What nature teaches us about perspective and humility (1:03:10) – Fly fishing, presence, and emotional healing (1:05:00) – Final encouragements and where to connect Keywords men's mental health, emotional health, vulnerability, masculinity, therapy, men's groups, brotherhood, friendship, healing, emotional resilience, shame, honesty, empathy, Hunter Leavine, The Captains Collective, outdoor adventure, fly fishing, nature, resilience, community, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, Christian mental health, personal growth, emotional healing, men's relationships Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  5. Jun 22

    Men’s Mental Health Month: The Cost of Going It Alone

    June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and in this special episode, Blake and Jamie tackle a sobering reality: men are struggling, and many are doing it alone. From higher suicide rates and lower treatment utilization to fewer close friendships and cultural expectations around self-sufficiency, the statistics tell an alarming story. But this conversation goes deeper than the data. Blake and Jamie explore why so many men resist asking for help, why vulnerability often feels like failure, and how shame keeps men isolated from the very relationships that could help them heal. Along the way, they offer a compassionate reframe: what if your struggles aren't proof that you're failing? What if they're evidence that you've been surviving the best way you know how? This episode is an invitation to move beyond performance, embrace humility, and become safe enough with yourself that you can experience deeper connection with God, others, and your own story. Key Takeaways Many men see asking for help as an admission of failure rather than an act of courage. Awareness without self-compassion often becomes another reason to feel ashamed. Humility is the ability to compassionately see your limitations without interpreting them as deficiencies. Close friendships don't simply happen—they are built through intentional honesty and vulnerability. What looks like weakness may actually be a survival strategy that helped you make it this far. Men aren't failing as much as they are hurting—and that distinction changes everything. Episode Chapters (00:00) Why Men’s Mental Health Matters(06:15) The alarming statistics around men's mental health(15:00) Why men are less likely to seek help (18:00) The hidden barrier: lack of awareness (20:00) Self-sufficiency, isolation, and depression (23:00) Why therapy often feels like failure (27:00) A powerful definition of humility (31:00) The emotional "box of crayons" men never received (38:00) How the 3% helps men heal (40:00) Are men narcissistic—or ashamed? (47:00) Becoming the man you want to be (48:00) Men aren't failing. Men are hurting. Resources & Links Three Percent Co. Keir Gaines — Learned the Hard Way Podcast Geoff Holsclaw episode on attachment and the "landscapes of the soul" KJ Ramsey episode on tenderness, survival, and healing 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Mental Health America National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Keywords Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, men's mental health, masculinity, vulnerability, emotional health, shame, therapy, counseling, depression, male friendships, self-sufficiency, humility, emotional awareness, relationships, healing, mental wellness, Three Percent Podcast, men's emotional health, connection, authenticity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  6. Jun 15

    Attachment Styles & Why You Relate to God the Way You Do with Geoff Holsclaw

    Why do some people struggle to trust God, while others keep Him at a distance? Why do our relationships with people often mirror our relationship with God? This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with author, pastor, and professor Geoff Holsclaw to explore the powerful connection between attachment theory and spiritual formation. Drawing from his book Landscapes of the Soul, Geoff explains how our early relational experiences shape the ways we pursue intimacy, handle anxiety, and experience God's presence. Together, they discuss the four attachment "landscapes"—the Desert, Jungle, War Zone, and Pasture—and how God invites each of us into deeper security, connection, and delight. Whether you're familiar with attachment theory or hearing about it for the first time, this conversation offers practical wisdom for understanding yourself, your relationships, and your faith journey. Key Takeaways Attachment styles are adaptive strategies developed in response to our environments—not permanent identities. The way we relate to God is often influenced by the way we've learned to relate to people. Secure attachment doesn't eliminate anxiety but helps us navigate it with confidence and connection. Spiritual maturity involves receiving God's delight rather than constantly striving for His approval. Healing begins with curiosity and compassion toward ourselves rather than shame or self-condemnation. About Geoff Holsclaw Geoff Holsclaw is a pastor, professor, spiritual director, and author focused on helping people experience deeper connection with God, themselves, and others. Through his work at Embodied Faith, Geoff explores the intersection of attachment science, spiritual formation, and Christian discipleship, helping people move toward greater wholeness and secure relationships. Resources & Links Embodied Faith Geoff Holsclaw on Instagram Book: Landscapes of the Soul Book: Does God Really Like Me? The Attachment Project Chapters (00:00) – Introduction to Geoff Holsclaw (03:45) – What attachment theory is (and isn't) (10:22) – The four attachment landscapes (18:35) – The Desert: Avoidant attachment explained (28:40) – The Jungle: Anxious attachment explained (38:15) – The War Zone: Disorganized attachment explained (49:50) – The Pasture: Secure attachment and flourishing (58:30) – What attachment teaches us about God(1:07:10) – God's delight versus God's approval(1:15:42) – Practical steps toward healing and security(1:22:30) – Final encouragements and closing thoughts Keywords attachment theory, Geoff Holsclaw, Landscapes of the Soul, spiritual formation, Christian spirituality, emotional health, secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, faith and psychology, relationships, healing, God's delight, Christian growth, mental health, Three Percent Podcast, embodied faith, spiritual maturity, emotional healing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  7. Jun 8

    Understanding Joy and Pain with KJ Ramsey

    What if joy isn't waiting on the other side of your pain — but is actually woven through the middle of it? In this episode, Jamie and Blake sit down with KJ Ramsey — trauma-informed licensed professional counselor, author, and self-described "increasingly feral mystic utterly devoted to the joy of being alive." KJ's newest book, The Place Between Our Pains: A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive, grew out of a personal dare: to discover that joy is more trustworthy than trauma. What followed was a cross-country adventure to revisit the national parks of her childhood, a near-death health crisis, and one of the most honest accounts of living with chronic illness, complex trauma, and radical joy you'll ever encounter. KJ reframes everything about how we think about hope and joy — not as light, aspirational feelings, but as heavy things we were never meant to carry alone. She argues that joy isn't on the other side of grief, it emerges from within it, like mycelium threading silently beneath a forest floor, sustaining everything above it without anyone seeing. This conversation will move you. It may also wreck you in the best possible way. TAKEAWAYS Why hope and joy are too heavy to hold alone — and why that's actually good news How joy emerges from grief rather than existing on the other side of it What it means to "welcome grief expecting joy" Why stories are both sustenance and bridges — and why KJ wrote a memoir instead of a self-help book What tenderness toward your own pain actually looks like in practice Why people who suffer with chronic illness or trauma may be uniquely positioned to experience more joy How avoidance is a privilege — and why that doesn't make it useful CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: those who struggle are positioned for more joy(03:00) Introducing KJ Ramsey and The Place Between Our Pains(07:00) What KJ hopes listeners take away: hope and joy are team sports(15:00) Why hope is terrifying — and joy is not what we think it is(19:00) Joy as mycelium: the hidden web threading everything together(30:00) When your life tests the truth of the book you're writing(35:00) The difference between looking for the good and holding tenderness for the bad(39:00) Reading from the book: the Moon Face chapter(49:00) The book cover, the thread metaphor, and living through a tumor on her face(57:00) Avoidance is a privilege — and those who can't avoid pain may become the most joyful LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership KJ Ramsey's Website (book sample + links): https://www.kjramsey.com/ The Place Between Our Pains — buy the book: https://www.kjramsey.com/ KJ Ramsey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kjramsaywrites/ Scott Erickson (mentioned by Jamie, friend of the podcast): https://www.scotterickson.art/ David Gate's Substack review of the book (mentioned in episode): https://substack.com/@davidgate KEYWORDSThree Percent Podcast, KJ Ramsey, The Place Between Our Pains, joy and grief, chronic illness, complex trauma, hope, memoir, men's mental health, self-compassion, tenderness, mycelium, healing, connection, vulnerability, faith, wholeness, disability, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Understanding Joy and Pain with KJ Ramsey

  8. Jun 1

    The Lie Your Nervous System Believes with Conner Custodio

    What if the reason you can't lose weight, recover from workouts, or stay consistent with your health has nothing to do with discipline — and everything to do with what's unresolved in your story? In this episode, Jamie and Blake sit down with their friend Conner Custodio — a holistic athletic coach who integrates faith, neuroscience, psychology, nutrition, and performance to help athletes regulate their nervous systems and get to the root of what's holding them back. Conner opens up about his own story: growing up in Bermuda in a chaotic household, being homeless at 15, attending six high schools in four years, and the car ride home that changed everything. From there the conversation moves into his work — and it hits whether you're a professional athlete or someone who just can't figure out why they keep falling off a workout routine. His core idea is deceptively simple: athletes attach to their sport because they've lost attachment where they really needed it. And until that gets addressed, no program, no diet, and no amount of discipline will fix what's actually broken. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why athletes are often the most disconnected from their own bodies How the discipline required in sport can create dysregulation everywhere else What hyper and hypoarousal are — and why staying in either state causes real damage Why your unresolved story may be keeping your body in a constant low-grade stress state How trauma affects nutrition, weight loss, and recovery in ways most coaches miss The difference between attaching to a sport and freely playing one Why addressing your story may be the single most important thing you can do for your health CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: the lie your nervous system is living by (05:00) Conner's story: Bermuda, six high schools, and being homeless at 15 (13:00) The car ride home that changed everything (18:00) Why athletes are often the most disconnected from their bodies (22:00) Why Conner says we were never designed for professional sports (24:00) Hyperarousal and hypoarousal explained (29:00) Attaching to sport because you've lost attachment where you needed it (39:00) The full cup: when your capacity is already maxed before the day begins (43:00) How trauma keeps your body in a low-grade workout state — and why you may need to eat more to lose weight (51:00) The lie your nervous system believes — and what Jesus says instead LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Conner Custodio on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/connercustodio/ Conner's Website: https://connorcustodio.com KEYWORDSThree Percent Podcast, Conner Custodio, holistic athletic coaching, nervous system regulation, athlete mental health, attachment theory, trauma and the body, hyperarousal, hypoarousal, window of tolerance, nutrition for athletes, reverse dieting, men's mental health, faith and fitness, sports psychology, personal growth, healing, emotional health Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    The Lie Your Nervous System Believes with Conner Custodio
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About

Welcome to Three Percent. This is your space if you’re on a journey of pursuing holistic masculinity, growing your emotional awareness, and cultivating deeper relationships and an authentic faith. We’re here to provide evidence-based guidance and proven strategies drawn from our experiences as therapists, friends, and mentors. We aren’t here to give you gimmicks or superficial “hacks.” We’re not telling you who to be, we're helping you uncover what gets in the way of being the man you want to be and offering you the authentic tools needed for tangible growth.

Information

  • Creator
    Unknown
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    61
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Show Website
    Three Percent

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