tiny sparks, big changes

Trisha Wolfe

tiny sparks: finding your way in the world by building your resilience. all things trauma, nervous system regulation, intellectualization, people pleasing, perfectionism, and more. trishawolfe.substack.com

  1. 9h ago

    Who are you after healing from trauma?

    Hello and welcome back to our book club read-along of Are You Mad at Me? If you’re new here, I release a new podcast episode every two weeks where we deep-dive into this book together. You can also listen on Spotify & Apple Music. These episodes are meant to help translate theory into everyday language and to connect the science to real life, real patterns, and real change. We also gather twice during each book for live meetings where you can connect with others, share reflections, and ask questions in real time! Our next live meeting is Sunday, November 15th, at 11 am EST. This book takes us deep into fawning, one of the survival strategies so many of us developed in childhood to stay connected and safe. It helps explain why we learned to manage other people’s emotions instead of feeling our own, and how patterns like people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and perfectionism make so much sense when we understand where they came from, and how they can change. If you’d like to become a member of our community, you get access to all past book club episodes for $5/month. That includes our live sessions, ongoing discussions, and the complete archive of past reads, such as Unlocking the Emotional Brain, No Bad Parts, Healing Developmental Trauma, and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Your support makes this space possible, and I’m grateful you’re here and reading along with me. This week, we’re reading a chapter on finding who we are as we disidentify from old survival strategies. If we’re not fawning, people-pleasing, or being perfect, then what are we doing?! This is a very important exploration that arises during the healing process. If you’d like to try the values sort I mention in today’s episode, you can find a free values sort here. If you’re curious to take a deep dive into creating transformational change in your life, check out my new offering: The Transformation Lab. If you’re someone who reads all the books, tries every type of therapy, can analyze themselves better than Freud, but still can’t seem to change, then come join me for an experiment in transformation. As you read or listen, you can be curious about these reflection questions: * Who am I when I’m not being perceived? * What is my personality when I’m not trying to impress or please anyone else? * What would I want for my life if I couldn’t tell anyone about it, if it wasn’t being judged by others? Please vote in the poll for our next book! The Drama of the Gifted Child Setting Boundaries that Stick (0:01 - 2:50) Hello and welcome back to our book club read-along of Are You Mad At Me? It’s hard to believe that we’re coming to the end of this book. I’ve really enjoyed getting to dive into it with you and we’ll be starting our next book soon. Don’t forget that our live meeting is Sunday, November 15th at 11 a.m eastern time. This will be an opportunity for you to ask questions about anything we’ve explored in this book, to share your own reflections. You can ask questions about past books too, and to just come and connect with others in this community. Right now I think we are between two books that several people have messaged me about, The Drama of the Gifted Child and The Boundaries book that I shared about last time by Julianne Taylor Shore. If you have a preference, please be sure to vote in the poll and we’ll get started on that new book as we come toward the end of the year. So this chapter is called Who Are You? Yes You! Getting to Know the Person You Lost Touch With. And as I’ve done with all of these chapters, I’m going to put a little bit of my own spin on this chapter. But in this chapter, Meg is talking about as you do this deep work of healing from people-pleasing, healing from fawning, you hit this point in the journey where you start to recognize, oh, so many of these things that I thought made me me were actually these adaptive, protective survival strategies. These ways that I learned to respond to the environment around me, to stay in connection, to have any sense of belonging and safety, and to make people around me happy. And that process of recognizing that those things are strategies, and not just us, not just our personality, can be pretty challenging. Because it’s a little bit of this question of like, then who am I? Then what makes me me? Then what do I want? What do I want to do? It’s never too late. A lot of times people fear that they will find out that they are a different person, that they are not themselves. And it brings up a lot of fear of losing the people and the things in our lives that are important to us. I think that I think of these strategies as much more like a suit of armor. And maybe you’ve been wearing that suit of armor for a long time, maybe even your entire life. And maybe as life has gone on, you’ve had to put more and more layers into your armor to feel safer and more protected. And you’ve had to kind of hide your true self away, deep inside those layers of armor. But as those layers of armor come off, you’ll still be you. It was still you under the armor all along. You’ll just have an easier time connecting with yourself, your authenticity, your values, your wants, your needs, and your desires. That doesn’t make the process any less scary. But part of this is reconnecting to ourselves. (2:50 - 4:00) In NARM, they call this process disidentification. In internal family systems and parts work, we might call it unblending. We know a lot of this is the updating that comes from memory reconsolidation. As our brain takes in all of these new experiences we’ve given ourselves through this book of learning to connect to ourselves, learning to feel what we want and need, learning to feel like a separate individual from our parents and people in our lives. We know that as we have done that, we are actually updating these predictive patterns in the brain. And that means all those things that our brain told us was scary or bad or dangerous, or we should feel ashamed of them. As those predictive patterns update, suddenly a whole new world opens in front of us. But that disidentification process can be unsettling. Maybe as a child you had those sort of muscular pains that they call growing pains, and it’s like, okay, it’s okay that you’re in pain, you know, your body’s growing, you’re getting taller. It’s a little bit like that. It might not feel really great as you’re doing it. Just because you might not have the neural pathways, you might not have done it before. (4:01 - 8:41) Even if the old pathway isn’t there anymore that says, it’s terrifying to be seen as myself, that doesn’t mean it’s magically super easy to figure out who we are. But this is part of the process. As we disidentify, we get to figure out now, what do I want? We get to learn to trust ourselves, to connect to ourselves, to attune to ourselves. We don’t have to neglect ourselves anymore by holding on to this perfect self, this quiet self, this caring for everyone’s self. We can be the attuned caregiver that we never got, who is so curious about what do we want? Who are we when we’re not being perceived? What is our personality when we’re not trying to impress or please anyone else or to be perfect? What would we want for our lives? You know, if we couldn’t be judged by anyone else, if we couldn’t tell anyone else about it, if we could wake up tomorrow and have just what we want, what would it be? And another thing that makes this disidentification process so challenging is the fantasy of the perfect self. And we’ve talked about this quite a bit on here, written some articles about this healing fantasy. We know that that comes from adult children of emotionally immature parents, and we talked about it a lot when we went through that book. But very often when we have gone through emotional neglect or childhood trauma, developmental trauma, we have a fantasy that X thing will happen and then we’ll be safe, then we’ll be happy, then we’ll be ourselves, then life can start. And it can be a variety of t… This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit trishawolfe.substack.com/subscribe

    Who are you after healing from trauma?
  2. Oct 24

    Rebranding Boundaries: The freedom of honoring your needs

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit trishawolfe.substack.com Hello and welcome back to our book club read-along of Are You Mad at Me? If you’re new here, I release a new podcast episode every two weeks where we deep-dive into this book together. You can also listen on Spotify & Apple Music. These episodes are meant to help translate theory into everyday language and to connect the science to real life, real patterns, and real change. We also gather twice during each book for live meetings where you can connect with others, share reflections, and ask questions in real time! Our next live meeting is Sunday, November 15th, at 11 am EST. This book takes us deep into fawning, one of the survival strategies so many of us developed in childhood to stay connected and safe. It helps explain why we learned to manage other people’s emotions instead of feeling our own, and how patterns like people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and perfectionism make so much sense when we understand where they came from, and how they can change. If you’d like to become a member of our community, you get access to all past book club episodes for $5/month. That includes our live sessions, ongoing discussions, and the complete archive of past reads, such as Unlocking the Emotional Brain, No Bad Parts, Healing Developmental Trauma, and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Your support makes this space possible, and I’m grateful you’re here and reading along with me. This week, we’re reading a chapter on boundaries, both inside ourselves and externally to others, and all the feelings that boundaries may bring up within us. If you’re curious to take a deep dive into creating transformational change in your life, check out my new offering: The Transformation Lab. If you’re someone who reads all the books, tries every type of therapy, can analyze themselves better than Freud, but still can’t seem to change, then come join me for an experiment in transformation. As you read or listen, you can be curious about these reflection questions: * In what ways did you learn that in order to receive love, you always needed to give more and overextend yourself? * Is there an area or a relationship in your life that you feel resentment about? What need of yours isn’t being met? * What would it look like to practice boundary setting in this area or relationship? (0:00 - 1:53) Hi and welcome back to our book club read-along of Are You Mad At Me? all about fawning and people-pleasing and finding our way back to being able to have healthy boundaries, engage in conflict, and take care of ourselves. If you can believe it, we are already almost finished with this book. We’ll have this chapter about boundaries, one more chapter, and then we’ll have our final live meeting for this book on Sunday, November 15th at 11 a.m. Eastern Time, 8 a.m. Pacific. Then we will get started with a new book after Thanksgiving. Please continue to send me your ideas for new books you would like to dive into. A friend recommended a book to me called Setting Boundaries That Stick, How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected, and Empowered by Julianne Taylor Shore. That one looks pretty interesting. We’re going to be talking about boundaries today, so let me know if you would like to read that book or if you have something else in mind. As we dive into this chapter on boundaries, you might really see yourself in some of these experiences. So many of us are used to overriding ourselves constantly and we’ve done it for so long that we don’t have any sense that we’re doing it, but maybe some of these thoughts feel familiar to you. If I say yes all the time, I’ll never disappoint anyone. If I never say no, I won’t fall behind in my closeness to this person and I’ll still be relevant to them, and maybe they won’t forget about me. If I neglect myself and override myself, maybe I’ll be cared for by them. Maybe I won’t be neglected by them. These are some of the things that we might think consciously or feel unconsciously as we’re moving through the world and determining not just our boundaries to other people but our boundaries to and within ourselves. (1:54 - 2:57) Can we take care of ourselves? Can we rest? Can we say yes when we mean yes and no when we don’t? Can we say no even after we’ve said yes? All of these experiences lie within us and it’s not going to surprise you to know that our relationship to our boundaries, to other people, within ourselves, and about how we move through the world are deeply tied both to our early lives experiences and to those predictive patterns within our brain that we keep talking about. These implicit emotional learnings that came from experiences we had, yes in our childhood, but all throughout our lives, that taught us essentially what are the rules of engagement in the world? What’s expected of me to connect with other people and to be in the world and to be well? So we have that big book of rules up in our brain that are all based on past experiences. None of these rules that we learned about boundaries and connection are arbitrary or random. (2:57 - 4:46) They all have a direct connection, even if we don’t know it consciously, to an experience or experiences we had. Remember that the more frequently an experience happened or the more intense it felt to us emotionally, the more likely we are to have a very charged rule or prediction in our head that says no, I’m not allowed to say no. No, I always have to override myself for other people. And so many of the learnings or rules we have about boundaries started when we’re young because things feel incredibly intense when we’re young. We don’t have the capacity to take care of ourselves, to support ourselves when we’re young. We don’t have the capacity to regulate our emotions, to meet our needs. We rely on our caregivers and the environments around us to do that. So that’s very often why we talk about our early childhood experiences. It’s not that our adult experiences don’t matter as well. And we very often do develop new implicit learnings out of our adult experiences. But as children, we’re developing so quickly and we have almost no agency or autonomy. We can’t run away and hide in a cave and take care of ourselves. So we’re entirely reliant on the people around us to keep us okay. So we’re constantly adapting and figuring out, how can I fit myself into this world? And as we’re exploring this book about fawning, we know that things will come up where we say, do I have to say yes? And if the answer is no, I don’t have to. Then it’s do I want to? But that’s where we can press upon this feeling of the fawning, right? This feeling that the only way I have to maintain connection, the only way I have to not be abandoned, the only way I have to be good, to be loved, to maintain connection, is through doing what other people want from me. (4:46 - 6:09) Doing what I perceive other people want from me. Because we don’t really know, we’re often doing a lot of mind reading. We’re hypervigilant, we’re analyzing, we’re trying to figure out, how do they respond when I do this? How do I respond when I do that? Often that’s very unconscious, but all of that is stemming from us trying to figure out how to adapt to our environment, to stay safe and to stay in connection. Now very often people will say to me, well that’s not rational. I know that I won’t be abandoned if I say no to going to this event I don’t want to go to. Okay, that’s great. Our implicit emotional learnings do not live in the realm of rationality. They live in the experience of emotions and they come from our sense experiences. We learn to rely very heavily on rationality often in our world, but we do not live by the rules of rationality. Even our thoughts do not fully live by the rules of rationality because they are impacted by other experiences within our brain. So thoughts, emotions, body sensations, behaviors, impulses, they’re all generated at once and they’re all impacted by our past experience and by trying to maintain safety and connection. So rationality really doesn’t have any place here and trying to convince ourselves it’s not rational to say yes even when you don’t want to because you think you’ll be abandoned. (6:10 - 6:18) It’s just another way we’re disconnecting from our own feelings and our own experiences. It’s okay if you do that. You may have learned that rationality was a safe place to be. (6:19 - 7:37) It was a way you could shut everything down and try to make yourself feel more secure, but right now we’re curious about the full response that you have and if some part of you is saying this isn’t rational so I shouldn’t do this, we can envision that as another part of you that’s trying to protect you from whatever feelings are coming up that feel like too much. So we can just notice that too. So Meg shares in this chapter that she thinks boundaries need a rebrand and I agree. So much of what we see in boundaries on social media are these sort of cold corporate lingo scripts as Meg calls them, right? We might be able to see them and say, yeah, that’s a boundary I want to set, but that’s not necessarily what a boundary is. A boundary can often mean knowing ourselves, knowing our needs, but also being able to feel separate from other people. From a very young age, we are starting to learn that we are separate from our mother, our father, our grandmother, whoever our early caregiver is. We start to learn, oh, I’m not my mom. I’m myself. My mom is her own person. That is her and this is me. And from that age forward, we’re starting to figure out, explore, and play with the fact that we are a separate person. We go through a process called separation and individuation. (7:37 - 8:39) It’s just a fancy way of saying we figure

    Rebranding Boundaries: The freedom of honoring your needs
  3. Oct 16

    Why Your Patterns Make Sense: Using Parts Work to Get Unstuck

    Welcome to episode two of my mini podcast series with Jolie Steele, Coach & Mentor. Join us for a deep dive into all the ways we find ourselves stuck and how to find our way back to ourselves again. From the perspectives of a therapist and a coach, we’ll explore why all of your patterns make perfect sense; how to identify your deeper beliefs and rewire those neural pathways; how to connect to your vitality and what you really want; how to let yourself be seen; and how to take action without abandoning yourself. If you have questions you’d like us to address in future episodes, feel free to leave a comment here or reply to this email. So glad you’re here! P.s. - If you’d prefer not to receive these podcast episodes, feel free to unsubscribe from this channel by following these instructions to unsubscribe from this section, called How to Get Unstuck! You’ll still receive all my tiny sparks posts. Thanks for supporting my work in whichever way makes sense for you. [Trisha Wolfe] (0:00 - 0:12) Welcome back to our little podcast called How to Get Unstuck. I’m really excited to be here with Jolie to talk about why your patterns make sense, parts work, child parts, and the relationship to self. [Jolie Stelle] (0:14 - 0:31) Yeah, I’m excited. I was just telling Trisha, this is, you know, all of this is my hyper fixation, personal work and self-help, but parts work for sure for the last few years has really like revolutionized, I think how I relate to myself. [Trisha Wolfe] (0:32 - 1:10) Yeah, I think it is such a powerful tool to use and be curious about. And even though I think a lot of times people I work with, I don’t know about you, but have the familiarization with parts work through internal family systems. And a lot of times I referenced that inside out movie, you know, which if you haven’t seen, everyone should watch as a kind of intro primer to parts work. Although it’s a little different than the way we as adults might relate to parts work, but really parts work is found within so many models of therapy and self-help and even the way we might relate to ourselves in a spiritual basis to just try to make sense out of the human experience. [Jolie Stelle] (1:13 - 2:50) Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I think we all have the intellectual understanding that our childhood impacted us in some way, shape, or form. Like I think anybody regardless of their experience of therapy or psychology would be like, yeah, sure. Like how you were raised or where you were raised has an impact on you. I think the funny aha moment that I had with parts work, well, of course there’s many, but one of the funny things that I had, which I say this about every aha moment I have, it’s like the most basic realizations, but it’s like when they really become tangibly true for you when you live them for the first time and the aha moment for me was like, oh, I am a combination of every version of myself I’ve ever been. Like, oh, like who I am now is just a big conglomeration of all these other versions of me, not to get too like sci-fi filmy, but it’s just like, it’s every moment that I passed through time and processed things, like all of that is me. And so it’s more than just my childhood impacted me. It’s like, I’m still the person that was there in that moment. And now that person is here in this moment. And what do I know about that relationship of that version of me versus this version of me and all of that? Like it really fascinated me to think about the that who I was at 10 is still here in the fabric of who I am today now, good, bad, and ugly. [ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit trishawolfe.substack.com/subscribe

    Why Your Patterns Make Sense: Using Parts Work to Get Unstuck
  4. Oct 9

    Conflict Is Like Death (It’s Inevitable)

    Hello and welcome back to our book club read-along of Are You Mad at Me? If you’re new here, I release a new podcast episode every two weeks where we deep-dive into this book together. You can also listen on Spotify & Apple Music. These episodes are meant to help translate theory into everyday language and to connect the science to real life, real patterns, and real change. We also gather twice during each book for live meetings where you can connect with others, share reflections, and ask questions in real time! This book takes us deep into fawning, one of the survival strategies so many of us developed in childhood to stay connected and safe. It helps explain why we learned to manage other people’s emotions instead of feeling our own, and how patterns like people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and perfectionism make so much sense when we understand where they came from, and how they can change. This episode is free to listen to to welcome all new subscribers, but for $5/month you can join our community and get access to all past book club episodes. That includes our live sessions, ongoing discussions, and the complete archive of past reads, such as Unlocking the Emotional Brain, No Bad Parts, Healing Developmental Trauma, and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Your support makes this space possible, and I’m grateful you’re here and reading along with me. This week, we’re reading a chapter on conflict and the anxiety that many of us feel around it, as well as how stuck we can feel when we want to connect but need to maintain distance to avoid any potential conflict. If you’re curious to take a deep dive into creating transformational change in your life, check out my new offering: The Transformation Lab. If you’re someone who reads all the books, tries every type of therapy, can analyze themselves better than Freud, but still can’t seem to change, then come join me for an experiment in transformation. As you read or listen, you can be curious about these reflection questions: What’s your current relationship to conflict? When there is a perceived conflict, what do you fear will happen if you face it? What do you need during conflict, whether it’s from yourself or the other person, that would feel soothing to you? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit trishawolfe.substack.com/subscribe

    Conflict Is Like Death (It’s Inevitable)
  5. Sep 19

    Nothing Is Personal

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit trishawolfe.substack.com Hello and welcome back to our book club read-along of Are You Mad at Me? If you’re new here, I release a new podcast episode every two weeks where we deep-dive into this book together. You can also listen on Spotify & Apple Music. These episodes are meant to help translate theory into everyday language and to connect the science to real life, real patterns, and real change. We also gather twice during each book for live meetings where you can connect with others, share reflections, and ask questions in real time! This book takes us deep into fawning, one of the survival strategies so many of us developed in childhood to stay connected and safe. It helps explain why we learned to manage other people’s emotions instead of feeling our own, and how patterns like people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and perfectionism make so much sense when we understand where they came from, and how they can change. If you’ve been wanting to go deeper into this work, becoming a paid subscriber gives you access to the full book club experience. That includes our live sessions, ongoing discussions, and the complete archive of past reads, such as Unlocking the Emotional Brain, No Bad Parts, Healing Developmental Trauma, and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Your support makes this space possible, and I’m grateful you’re here and reading along with me. This week, we’re reading a chapter on taking things personally and how our past experiences shape the meaning we make about things in the present. If you’re curious about doing a deep dive into how to create transformational change in your life, check out my new offering: The Transformation Lab. If you’re someone who reads all the books, tries every type of therapy, can analyze themselves better than Freud, but still can’t seem to change, then come join me for an experiment in transformation. As you read or listen, you can be curious about these reflection questions: 1. What’s a comment or judgment that you tend to take quite personally? What part of you is being activated by it? What is your brain predicting would happen if you didn’t take it personally and just let it go and moved on? 2. What does this part of you need to feel safe? What feels soothing to this part of you? (0:00 - 0:29) Hello and welcome back to our book club read-along of Are You Mad at Me? where we are diving into all things fawning and people-pleasing. This week we’re looking at chapter seven called Nothing is Personal and Other Terrifying Liberating Truths. If you’re new here, welcome to our book club where we read through various therapy and self-help books and I help translate them into how to use them in your daily lives to make long-lasting transformational change.

    Nothing Is Personal
  6. Sep 5

    This is exhausting - how trauma impacts the body

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit trishawolfe.substack.com Hello and welcome back to our book club read-along of Are You Mad at Me? If you’re new here, I release a new podcast episode every two weeks where we deep-dive into this book together. You can also listen on Spotify & Apple Music. These episodes are meant to help translate theory into everyday language and to connect the science to real life, real patterns, and real change. We also gather twice during each book for live meetings where you can connect with others, share reflections, and ask questions in real time! This book takes us deep into fawning, one of the survival strategies so many of us developed in childhood to stay connected and safe. It helps explain why we learned to manage other people’s emotions instead of feeling our own, and how patterns like people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and perfectionism make so much sense when we understand where they came from, and how they can change. If you’ve been wanting to go deeper into this work, becoming a paid subscriber gives you access to the full book club experience. That includes our live sessions, ongoing discussions, and the complete archive of past reads, such as Unlocking the Emotional Brain, No Bad Parts, Healing Developmental Trauma, and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Your support makes this space possible, and I’m grateful you’re here and reading along with me. This week, we’re reading a chapter on how fawning and other adaptive survival strategies impact our bodies, and ways we might reconnect with safety and presence. If you’re curious about doing a deep dive into how to create transformational change in your life, check out my new offering: The Transformation Lab. If you’re someone who reads all the books, tries every type of therapy, can analyze themselves better than Freud, but still can’t seem to change, then come join me for an experiment in transformation. As you read or listen, you can be curious about these reflection questions: 1. What’s your relationship to your body? Has it felt like a safe place in which to exist? 2. Close your eyes and see if you can notice just one or two sensations in your body. Describe them.

    This is exhausting - how trauma impacts the body
  7. Aug 22

    Emotions aren’t a problem

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit trishawolfe.substack.com Hello and welcome back to our book club read-along of Are You Mad at Me? If you’re new here, I release a new podcast episode every two weeks where we deep-dive into this book together. You can also listen on Spotify & Apple Music. These episodes are meant to help translate theory into everyday language and to connect the science to real life, real patterns, and real change. We also gather twice during each book for live meetings where you can connect with others, share reflections, and ask questions in real time! This book takes us deep into fawning, one of the survival strategies so many of us developed in childhood to stay connected and safe. It helps explain why we learned to manage other people’s emotions instead of feeling our own, and how patterns like people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and perfectionism make so much sense when we understand where they came from, and how they can change. If you’ve been wanting to go deeper into this work, becoming a paid subscriber gives you access to the full book club experience. That includes our live sessions, ongoing discussions, and the complete archive of past reads, such as Unlocking the Emotional Brain, No Bad Parts, Healing Developmental Trauma, and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Your support makes this space possible, and I’m grateful you’re here and reading along with me. This week, we’re reading a chapter on learning to be with emotions and to be curious about the messages they might have for us, rather than needing to fawn or freeze and shut our emotions down. If you’re curious about doing a deep dive into how to create transformational change in your life, check out my new offering: The Transformation Lab. If you’re someone who reads all the books, tries every type of therapy, can analyze themselves better than Freud, but still can’t seem to change, then come join me for an experiment in transformation. As you read or listen, you can be curious about these reflection questions: 1. What’s your current relationship to uncomfortable emotions like anger, sadness, and fear? How do you usually deal with them? 2. Recall a recent time when you felt an emotion that felt difficult. What was it telling you?

    Emotions aren’t a problem
  8. Aug 7

    Inner attachment and curiosity

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit trishawolfe.substack.com Trisha Wolfe: Hello and welcome. We’re just getting started. I just started the recording and so if you are here and you don’t want to be on the recording, you are more than welcome to turn off your camera and you can ask any question you would like in the chat and I’ll just read it out to the group. But thanks so much for joining whether you’re here live or watching the recording for a little group meeting where we can talk about the book we’re reading. Are you mad at me? all about fawning and people pleasing. Of course, I’m happy to answer questions about books from the past book clubs too. More general questions you have. I am really enjoying this book. You know, some of the books we’ve read have been quite academic. You know, just coming off unlocking the emotional brain, which I love, but is a quite heavy academic text. It’s really nice to read this one, too, which I think does a great job of taking these really complex ideas and putting them into simpler, easy to apply methods. 00:01:08 Trisha Wolfe: So, it’s nice to have a little mix. You know, we read healing developmental trauma, which is more academic, no bad parts, which is a little more for the individual. Adult children of emotionally immature parents, same for the individual, and then unlocking the emotional brain. Back to Are You Mad at Me? So, we’ve really gotten to have quite a wide variety, which is so much fun. I do have a question someone sent in that I’m going to discuss, but since you’re here live, are there any questions any of you have? And again, you’re welcome to put it in the chat or just ask it with your video off or whatever you would like to do. But since you’re here, I would love to answer any questions you might have. And there’s no pressure. Okay. Well, if questions come up as we go, you’re more than welcome to ask them. Usually, this time is a time for me to answer a question. So, I can always talk a little bit about the book if I’d like, but please feel free to ask anything. 00:02:13 Trisha Wolfe: It doesn’t have to be related to this book. But the question that we had that someone was talking about from the most recent episode where I was talking about this idea of if you remember chapter 4 was about you are not your thoughts. So it was about noticing this inner voice and talking about some of these ways that we can start to observe for example the inner critic and challenge our perception and kind of not be as fearful about our thoughts. And then moving to soothing and labeling what’s happening. And you might remember Meg uses an acronym called nicer. And nicer stands for notice, invite, curiosity, embrace, and return. So she uses this throughout the book. And this is her process of observing. So first starting with noticing, right? Maybe you’re noticing that you’re overthinking. Then you invite, meaning you let the experience be there. For many of us who have a history of attachment failures and developmental ruptures, we might get scared and want to push away the experience, which makes a lot of sense. 00:03:18 Trisha Wolfe: But eventually, we get to a place where we can allow the thoughts, the feelings, the body sensations to be there. We bring in some curiosity and we might notice what part of us has been activated, what feeling is here. Can I put a label on this? that we embrace, you know, we bring that part of us in and then we return to the present, whether that’s feeling the seat underneath of us or looking around us. So, I was talking about in the episode this idea of inner attachment, you know, of how we can give ourselves transformational experiences with how we relate to ourselves rather than trying to counteract ourselves. So, just to refresh your memory, counteractive strategies are things that are managerial. They are often behavioral, whether it’s trying to manage our behaviors themselves or manage our cognitions or manage our emotions. And they have a time and a place, right? When we’re doing this depth work where we’re working on some of these deeper patterns, we need usually to have some counteractive tools for stabilization, which might mean settling ourselves back down, which might mean feeling the chair underneath of us, which might mean learning how to challenge our thoughts. 00:04:26 Trisha Wolfe: But all those things are counteractive, meaning they’re trying to go against a predictive pattern that the brain has. So the brain is predicting if I feel my feelings, people will not love me and they will pull away from me. And so if we notice that happening and we might say, “Hey, you’re allowed to have feelings. It’s okay. Let’s sit with the feeling.” That’s attempting to counteract, that’s attempting to show the brain like, “This isn’t true. You can do this anyway.” And there’s a time and a place. But we’re also curious about transformational experiences of getting to the root of that predictive patterning, getting to the implicit emotional learning. If you remember from a mocking the emotional brain so that we can update that through memory reconsolidation. So in are you mad at me? There’s a mix of counteractive techniques and transformational techniques. And what I was talking about is we don’t always have to have a good external response for it to be a new experience for the brain. For it to be an experience that can update old learnings. 00:05:28 Trisha Wolfe: So the example I always kind of use is if you go you go get a coffee and you see the barista has made your drink with cow’s milk. You can’t have cow’s milk. You ordered it with oat milk. The idea would be, well, this is a great time to try on having needs, having boundaries. You can let the barista know that they didn’t make your drink correctly. They’ll update it. All will be fine. Well, we can’t promise that. First of all, we don’t know if the barista might be having a horrible day and might yell at you or kick you out or whatever it is. But more importantly, the response of the barista isn’t required for it to update a learning in our brain. Because if we go in and we say, “Hey, sorry. I can’t have cow’s milk. I asked for oat milk.” And the barista says, “How dare you speak to me that way? Get out of here.” It can still be a new experience for parts of us who feel 00:06:17 Trisha Wolfe: we’re not afraid to have needs when it comes to how we relate to ourselves, how we observe the experience. So if we leave of this this barista kind of going off on us when we tried to have a simple meal of a drink we paid for, we might start to go into like, see, you can never get it right. you really can’t ask for what you need because everyone’s just going to attack you or you must not have asked for it in the right way. This is why you shouldn’t even try. You always mess everything up. And that’s part of the learning, right? Having needs means people will get upset at me. People get upset at me because I’m too much. Kind of becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy. But the way we can be curious about implementing this observation that Meg is talking about and you’ve heard me talk about quite a bit is to notice what’s happening and then to get curious with ourselves of how we relate to and treat ourselves. If we start going down the like you always mess everything up train, we can pause and we can say, “Hey, this really sucks. That barista was really rude and I really don’t feel very good right now. 00:07:21 Trisha Wolfe: That was a really hurtful experience for me and I actually am allowed to have my needs I think but more importantly I can be with what I’m feeling right now which is sad and confused and angry and hurt and just noticing the feeling and letting ourselves be in that experience. So even though the other person didn’t say of course you’re allowed to have means I’ll fix your drink. We can still be with like, wow, that did not go the way I liked and I’m allowed to be upset with the way it went, but my life isn’t in danger. My primary relationships are not in danger. I’m not going to be voted off the island. That’s really the experience we’re trying to give our brain because now the primary attachment relationship is not with our caregivers, our partners, whoever it is. It’s us to us. So when I was talking about this inner attachment, there was a question about these interactions and how sometimes the way we treat ourselves can be soothing or transformational or counteractive. And so this person asked, “In your experience, have those genuinely soothing interactions created a mismatch experience for those parts? Does just being met with genuine love and attention allow any part no matter the 00:08:34 Trisha Wolfe: manifestation to have a corrective experience? So this is a great question and the answer is sort of like it’s not that simple but also yes. When I think about doing this work with individuals the way we treat ourselves and our inner attachment is foundational to the work. So whatever parts we identify and remember what do we mean by parts? We mean schemas, we mean survival strategies, we mean implicit emotional learnings. Really, what we mean is a bundle of predictive patterns in our brain. So, no matter what part you’re dealing with, intellectualizer, people pleaser, perfectionist, critic, etc. Part of the foundational experience of how we update that learning is us learning to observe and respond to that part of us. Because so often when we’re trying to manage ourselves, for example, if we try to say like, “Oh, well, you just feel anxious about that. You don’t need to overthink it.” Now, stop overthinking. You know, look around the room, name three things you see, go distract yourself, whatever. Again, there’s a time and a place for that. 00:09:43 Trisha Wolfe: But what we’re doing i

    Inner attachment and curiosity

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tiny sparks: finding your way in the world by building your resilience. all things trauma, nervous system regulation, intellectualization, people pleasing, perfectionism, and more. trishawolfe.substack.com

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