Two Become Family Podcast: Conversations and Encouragement For Your Catholic Family

Renzo and Monica Ortega
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  • Christianity
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Welcome to the podcast where we echo the words of St. John Paul II and encourage families to "Believe in what you are!" We are Renzo and Monica Ortega, we've been married 13 years, we have 5 kids, and our apostolate, Two Become Family, encourages Catholics who love the Church, love each other, and still feel like marriage and family life is harder than it's supposed to be. Through our very candid, and sometimes uncomfortably vulnerable, conversations about sex, NFP, conflict, family life, we hope to spark conversations between you and your spouse leaving you with a little more joy and a lot more hope that you have what it takes to be a family. Visit us at https://twobecomefamily.substack.com for more for your marriage

  1. 3d ago ·  Video

    Are Catholics Making Up Rules About Sex?

    Send us Fan Mail Season 5 is here—and we’re starting with sex. More specifically, we’re jumping into a debate happening in Catholic circles online: Are Catholic marriage speakers being more prescriptive about sex than the Catholic Church actually is? Recently, Catholic speakers such as Jackie Angel have received criticism for saying plainly that sexual intimacy between husband and wife should culminate in intercourse—what we refer to in our book Lovemaking as PIV. The criticism isn’t simply that this language is too explicit. The deeper argument is: The Church never actually says that. You’re adding your own interpretation to Church teaching. So… are we? In this season-opening episode, we begin working through that question by going directly to Humanae Vitae 11 and 12 and asking what the Church means when it teaches that every marital act must preserve both its unitive and procreative meanings. And we quickly discover that the disagreement isn’t only about sex. It’s also about how Catholics read Church documents, how doctrine gets pastorally communicated, how natural law works, and whether making a teaching easier to understand is the same thing as adding something to it. We talk about: Why Catholic social media is arguing about how married couples should have sexThe criticism directed toward Jackie Angel and other Catholic marriage speakersWhy we use the abbreviation PIV when discussing intercourseWhether talking explicitly about sex is inappropriate or actually necessaryThe difference between being explicit and being irreverentWhether saying marital intimacy should culminate in intercourse goes beyond Church teachingWhat Humanae Vitae 11 and 12 actually sayWhat the Church means by the unitive and procreative meanings of sexWhy every marital act must retain its relationship to procreationWhat natural law means in Catholic moral theologyWhy Church documents aren’t always easy for ordinary Catholics to interpretThe difference between doctrine and pastoral applicationWhy some Catholics genuinely need someone to tell them plainly, “What does this actually mean?”Why social media makes pastoral accompaniment especially difficultWhy the unitive meaning of sex deserves just as much attention as the procreative meaningWhat it means for intimacy to be rightly ordered toward lifeWhy helping someone understand Church teaching isn’t necessarily the same thing as adding to itHow couples’ lived experiences should be acknowledged without changing moral truthOne of the biggest questions we raise is this: If Humanae Vitae says that every marital act must preserve both its unitive and procreative meanings, what exactly does that require of a married couple? Because simply repeating the words “unitive and procreative” doesn’t necessarily tell a couple what to do. Some Catholics want the theological principle. Others are asking: Okay—but what does that actually look like? And sometimes pastoral care means someone has to be willing to say the difficult thing clearly. This episode begins a three-part conversation examining what the Catholic Church actually teaches about marital intimacy, being “open to life,” and whether the common Catholic understanding of the marital act can really be found in the Church’s own documents. Chapters 00:00 Welcome Back to Season 5  01:12 Why the Internet Is Arguing About Catholic Sex  01:24 The Controversy Over Jackie Angel’s Marriage Advice  02:32 Why We Use the Term PIV  03:23 Is Talking Explicitly About Catholic Sex “Cringeworthy”?  04:15 Are Catholics Adding Rules the Church Never Taught?  05:04 What Humanae Vitae Actually Says About the Marital Act  06:26 Why Church Documents Can Be Difficult to Understand  07:35 What Natural Law Actually Means  09:24 “Each and Every Marital Act” — What Does That Mean?  10:16 Doctrine vs. Pastoral Application  11:35 Why Catholic Social Media Gets This Conversation Wrong  13:24 Why Some Couples Need Clear, Prescriptive Answers  15:09 Why Catholic Speakers Need to Say the Difficult Thing  16:01 Can Sex Be Procreative Without PIV?  17:23 What Does “Ordered Toward Life” Actually Mean?  18:32 The Unitive Meaning of Catholic Sex Matters Too  20:03 Why Some Catholics Need Someone to Just Say It  21:46 Are We Misinterpreting Humanae Vitae?  22:24 What Does “Unitive” Actually Require in Marriage?  23:39 Truth, Pastoral Care, and a Couple’s Lived Experience  25:11 Where This Conversation Goes Next Two Become Family is conversations and encouragement for your Catholic family—helping couples believe in what they are and become the family God created them to be. BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: https://twobecomefamily.com 📲 Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twobecomefamily/ Our Shop https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com Support the show

    Are Catholics Making Up Rules About Sex?

  2. Jun 2

    192. Can Catholics French Kiss Before Marriage?

    Send us Fan Mail Can Catholics French kiss before marriage? After Elizabeth Busby’s Theology of the Body Institute answer and Christian B. Wagner’s response, “No, You Can’t Kiss Your Girlfriend,” sparked a Catholic internet debate, Renzo and Monica enter the conversation as a married Catholic couple. Is passionate kissing always sinful outside of marriage? Is arousal the same as lust? And what does chastity actually require from dating and engaged couples who are trying to love one another well? This is a conversation about French kissing before marriage, Catholic dating, Theology of the Body, desire, chastity, and why marriage does not simply make using another person acceptable. Follow us on Instagram @twobecomefamily. Looking for some accompaniment when it comes to talk about sex with your spouse?, Check out our book and order Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children Don't forget to visit https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Support the show

    192. Can Catholics French Kiss Before Marriage?

  3. May 26

    191. Is AI Forming Your Family? Magnifica Humanitas and Pope Leo’s Warning for Parents

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Renzo and Monica pause their regular series to talk about Pope Leo’s latest encyclical, Magnifica Humanitas, through the lens of marriage and family life. This is not meant to be a full summary of the document. It is an invitation to read it. But as we worked through the encyclical, we kept seeing how much Pope Leo’s reflections on human dignity, artificial intelligence, technology, algorithms, and the attention economy matter for Catholic families. The rebuilding of society starts in the home. The family is where a child first learns who he is, what he is worth, and what it means to be loved. That matters even more in a world where technology is forming imagination, attention, self-worth, and desire. We talk about why parents cannot afford to ignore AI, why filters and blockers are not enough, how the attention economy exploits vulnerability, and why AI can imitate care but can never actually love us. We also discuss how marriage and family life teach our children the difference between a tool and a person, between quick answers and real relationships, and between being managed by technology and being formed in love. To read the full ten points from the encyclical, visit our accompanying article on Substack. Follow us on Instagram @twobecomefamily. Looking for some accompaniment when it comes to talk about sex with your spouse?, Check out our book and order Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children Don't forget to visit https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Support the show

    191. Is AI Forming Your Family? Magnifica Humanitas and Pope Leo’s Warning for Parents

  4. May 19

    190. Your Spouse Was Never Meant to Be Your Happily Ever After

    Send us Fan Mail What happens when you go into marriage expecting your spouse to make you happy, fix your wounds, or finally give your life the meaning you’ve been looking for? In this episode, we talk about why your spouse was never meant to be your savior. Marriage is not just two people coexisting, splitting chores, raising kids, and trying to stay comfortable. For Catholics, marriage is a sacramental journey toward Jesus. That means romance, joy, friendship, suffering, healing, sacrifice, and grace all belong inside the story. We also talk about the “pictures” we carry into marriage, how shows like Boy Meets World shaped our expectations, why marriage can feel disappointing when our picture is wrong, and why Jesus has to be more than an add-on in marriage formation. Looking for some accompaniment when it comes to talk about sex with your spouse?, Check out our book and order Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children Don't forget to visit https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Support the show

    190. Your Spouse Was Never Meant to Be Your Happily Ever After

  5. May 12

    189. Why Gen Z Doesn't Think Marriage Matters Anymore

    Send us Fan Mail Send share this episode with a priest who walks with couples! Or share it with a young person, engaged couple, or married couple that wishes the Church gave them more guidance.  We try walking with couples about sex, that's why we wrote this book to help Order Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children Don't forget to visit https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Support the show

    189. Why Gen Z Doesn't Think Marriage Matters Anymore

  6. May 5

    188. Why Catholic Marriage Theology Feels Unreachable

    Send us Fan Mail On Tuesday 28 April 2026, the Dicastery for Laity, Family and Life will hosted a study day asking: "How can the Church form pastors capable of accompanying young people, engaged couples, and spouses so that they live Christian marriage as an authentic experience of faith in a cultural context marked by secularization? Several speakers addressed that question, including Father Andrea Bozzolo, rector of the Pontifical Salesian University." No one invited us, BUT we still wanted to add our two cents on how the Church could do a better job accompanying young people, engaged, couples, and married people. Catholic marriage is not just a beautiful idea. It is a sacrament lived through sex, sacrifice, fertility, exhaustion, money, children, resentment, forgiveness, prayer, and the daily choice to love someone who is also being slowly sanctified by God at the same time. Catholic couples need understanding and guidance, not sentimental language. If the Church wants to really accompany people, they need to shift away from, giving couples a romanticized theology of marriage because, though good and true, it ultimately leaves them feeling alone with the actual work of becoming one flesh. Send share this episode with a priest who walks with couples! Or share it with a young person, engaged couple, or married couple that wishes the Church gave them more guidance.  We try walking with couples about sex, that's why we wrote this book to help Order Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children Don't forget to visit https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Support the show

    188. Why Catholic Marriage Theology Feels Unreachable

  7. Apr 28

    187. Why Should the Resurrection Change How Catholics Talk About Sex?

    Send us Fan Mail Why would the Resurrection change how Catholics talk about sex? We got into an online argument about sex, marriage, and what husbands are owed. But the more we talked, the more we realized the real disagreement was deeper than sex. It was about what marriage is, what sexual desire is, and whether how we understood the Resurrection actually changes what we believe our bodies are for. We wrote a Catholic s*x book! Check it out: Order LOVEMAKING!   Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what we do and pray that it is a blessing to you and your families. If you are benefitting in some way from what we're doing read and subscribe to our Substack: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Our Apostolate About Us Connect with us and send us a message on Instagram YouTube Channel Support the show

    187. Why Should the Resurrection Change How Catholics Talk About Sex?

  8. Apr 21

    186. Fighting In Front of Your Kids

    Send us Fan Mail We got into an argument in front of our kids and then we talked about it. Let's jump in! We wrote a Catholic s*x book! Check it out: Order LOVEMAKING!   Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what we do and pray that it is a blessing to you and your families. If you are benefitting in some way from what we're doing read and subscribe to our Substack: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Our Apostolate About Us Connect with us and send us a message on Instagram YouTube Channel Support the show

    186. Fighting In Front of Your Kids
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About

Welcome to the podcast where we echo the words of St. John Paul II and encourage families to "Believe in what you are!" We are Renzo and Monica Ortega, we've been married 13 years, we have 5 kids, and our apostolate, Two Become Family, encourages Catholics who love the Church, love each other, and still feel like marriage and family life is harder than it's supposed to be. Through our very candid, and sometimes uncomfortably vulnerable, conversations about sex, NFP, conflict, family life, we hope to spark conversations between you and your spouse leaving you with a little more joy and a lot more hope that you have what it takes to be a family. Visit us at https://twobecomefamily.substack.com for more for your marriage

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