Send us a text If “be nicer” hasn’t fixed your toughest conversations, try Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in the wild. Coach Hans Nav Neev shows how to turn trigger moments into clarity, how to stop taking things personally, and why conflict—done well—becomes a portal to connection. What you’ll learn The OFNR model (Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests) that actually de-fogs conflictJackal vs. Giraffe ears: hearing judgments vs. hearing needsThe guilt process (“the art of being torn”) to end inner civil warsEnemy images and how to dissolve themWhen to set boundaries (and use protective force)Bridging NVC with BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) for high‑conflict exchangesTimestamps 00:00 Cold open, intentions, how we’ll talk 02:40 What NVC is: surface techniques vs. deep worldview 05:40 Taking things less personally; the guilt process 08:10 Inner work vs. changing the world 10:05 The OFNR model explained (Observations–Feelings–Needs–Requests) 13:15 Practicing OFNR + the floor exercise 14:50 Hardest skill: observations without interpretations (Krishnamurti) 16:20 Anger = story about the event (not the event) 18:30 Jackal vs. Giraffe ears (with props) 21:20 Chronic “jackal mode,” boundaries, and dignity 24:40 Needs, requests, and withdrawing from harmful dynamics 26:30 Needs vs. rationalizations; congruence 28:00 Language: “need” vs. “value/prefer”; needs as “frequencies” 31:10 Family impact, social ripple of communication 33:20 Trusting conflict; repair vs. rug-sweeping 35:20 Intergenerational trauma; “enemy images” 39:10 Avoiding the “obnoxious giraffe” (NVC police) 41:30 Stoicism link: embody, don’t preach 44:10 External validation; “seeds grow in the dark” 45:50 Where NVC applies; protective use of force 49:10 BIFF for high-conflict exchanges; bridging to NVC 53:20 Filtering vs. entrenched relationships 56:20 “Warm bath of empathy” and relationship risks 59:30 Practice in low‑stakes settings first 1:02:00 Resources and Insight Timer courses 1:04:30 Two mantras: it’s never personal; guess the need 1:06:40 Empathic guessing as a question (not a label) 1:08:50 Measuring progress; conflict may rise first 1:10:00 Positive gossip; humility as embodiment 1:15:20 Self-image, overcorrection, and growth 1:18:50 Vulnerability as success 1:21:40 Beginner’s mind in communication 1:24:10 Sensitivity with equanimity 1:25:06 Rosenberg’s “tragic expression”; the third compassionate voice 1:27:20 Metta vs. Tonglen; Michael Taft guidance 1:30:27 Wrap-up, thanks, next steps Guest: Hans Nav Neev — NVC coach and Insight Timer teacher with practical courses and tracks. Insight Timer (teacher page)https://insighttimer.com/hansvanv1 Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/nondualcommunication/ Website (bio + offerings)https://www.nondualcommunication.net/bio -- Host: Jon Brooks — The Stoic Handbook (stoicism + practical tools). • Site: https://stoichandbook.co • Newsletter (Nous): nous.xyz • YouTube: youtube.com/jonbrooks If this helped, follow the show, share the episode with a friend, and join the newsletter for weekly tools. 🔥 🧰 Free SPQR Stoic Reset Kit — 5-min audio + 1-page protocol to stop anxiety spirals fast. → stoichandbook.co/toolkit
