When We Die Talks

Zach Ancell
  • 5.0 (8)
  • PHILOSOPHY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

When We Die Talks is a collection of real conversations with real people about death, meaning, and what it’s like to be human. Each week, host Zach Ancell speaks with an anonymous caller. It begins with one question: What do you think happens when we die? From there, the conversation goes wherever it goes. Belief. Doubt. Loss. Relief. Fear. Sometimes even laughter. These aren’t experts or public figures. Just everyday people saying the quiet parts out loud. The result is raw, unpredictable, and deeply human. New anonymous calls every Wednesday. Want to add your voice? Apply to be a caller at whenwedietalks.com. Leave a voicemail and share a belief, a question, or a moment you can’t shake about death: 971-328-0864.

  1. #49 - A Death Doula on What Matters at the End

    MAR 4

    #49 - A Death Doula on What Matters at the End

    What would change if we treated death as a human event, not just a medical one? This week’s anonymous caller is a death doula. And instead of going abstract, they get surprisingly specific about what the end can look like and what people wish they’d put in place sooner. A lot of this episode lives in the gap between what we assume will happen and what actually happens when things move quickly: who makes decisions, what families scramble to figure out, and how easily someone’s wishes can get lost if nothing has been talked about ahead of time. It’s also a reminder that this isn’t only an “old age” topic. The caller talks about working with people in their twenties, thirties, forties, and fifties. Which quietly changes the question from “someday” to “at some point, and we don’t get to choose when.” And underneath all of that is one simple reframe that keeps showing up throughout the call: the medical side matters, but the human side is usually what people need most. In this episode: What a death doula actually does (and what they don’t)Why dying often needs more human support than medical supportWhy end-of-life planning is a form of careThe reality that terminal diagnoses don’t only happen “late in life”Why the timeline is the part none of us gets to knowWhat tends to help at the end — and what tends to complicate thingsA few moments from the call: “Dying is much more of a human event than it is a medical event.”“You need more human support than you need medical support.”“We have no idea when death will come for us.”“I’m working with people who are in their twenties or thirties or forties or fifties, and they’ve received a terminal diagnosis…”Book Recommendation: Anonymous Caller Spoiler (preorder link) More book recommendations from past episodes: View the full list Video Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version o Support the show About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks 🎵 TikTok: @whenwedietalks 📚 Anonymous Book Recommendations ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

    44 min
  2. #48 - What If Death Feels Like Being Stuck Forever?

    FEB 25

    #48 - What If Death Feels Like Being Stuck Forever?

    What if death isn’t peaceful, or blank, or anything you can make sense of, but something you’re trapped inside? This week’s anonymous caller doesn’t come in with a comforting belief or a story about loss. They come in with death anxiety. The kind that’s hard to explain even when you’re trying to explain it. We talk through what the fear actually feels like when you get specific. Not just “I’m afraid to die,” but fear of being stuck, fear of losing control, fear of being alone in whatever comes next. And toward the end, something shifts. Not because we solve anything, but because the caller says out loud what most people keep private and realizes that naming it helped. In this episode: A caller trying to describe death anxiety in real timeThe fear of “eternity” as being stuck, conscious, and aloneHow religious upbringing can leave fear residue, even after beliefs changeControl, spiraling, and what it feels like when the fear grabs holdWhat talking about death anxiety does (and doesn’t) changeWhy saying it out loud can soften the grip, even without answersA few moments from the call: “I just have this crushing fear of what I don’t want it to be like.”“I am going to be stuck in eternity alone.”“Us talking about it, it helps me… it might not even be like that.”Book Recommendation: The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck); The Death Gate Cycle (Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman) More book recommendations from past episodes: View the full list Video Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube. Nemosené: Your Life StoryA guided audio interview to capture your story in your own words for the people you love.Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks 🎵 TikTok: @whenwedietalks 📚 Anonymous Book Recommendations ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

    36 min
  3. #47 - An EMT on Death, CPR, and End-of-Life Wishes

    FEB 18

    #47 - An EMT on Death, CPR, and End-of-Life Wishes

    What does death look like when it’s part of your job? This week’s anonymous caller is an EMT who’s around emergencies and dying on a regular basis. And because of that, this conversation doesn’t stay in the abstract for long. We talk about what CPR actually does to the body, the gap between what people think happens in a medical crisis versus what it really looks like, and why end-of-life wishes can get complicated the moment fear enters the room. A big thread in this call is about clarity. Not in a cold way. More like the kind of clarity you get when you’ve seen the same situations play out again and again. Especially when it comes to DNRs, family dynamics, and what people ask for on paper versus what actually happens in the moment. In this episode: Seeing death up close as part of the jobWhat CPR really does to the bodyWhy “doing everything” can override someone’s wishesDNRs and how they can get complicated in real timeHow repeated exposure to death changes the way you think about itThe caller’s own near-death experience and what it did (and didn’t) changeA few moments from the call: “Even if we bring you back… you’re gonna have broken ribs.”“Some estranged family member takes you off that DNR because you’re a fighter…”“Death happens to everyone… it could happen today, it could happen tomorrow.”Book Recommendation: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Hunter S. Thompson) More book recommendations from past episodes: View the full list Video Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube. Nemosené: guided story recordings to help people preserve their voice. Support this work by visiting nemosene.com Support the show About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks 🎵 TikTok: @whenwedietalks 📚 Anonymous Book Recommendations ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

    42 min
  4. #46 - My Partner Has a Terminal Illness (Caregiving in College)

    FEB 11

    #46 - My Partner Has a Terminal Illness (Caregiving in College)

    What happens when you’re 19 and you’re loving someone with a terminal illness? This week’s anonymous caller is an anthropology student who’s been studying death, grief, and ritual. But that interest isn’t abstract. Their partner has a terminal illness, and it’s been sitting in the background of their life and relationship for a long time now. A big part of this conversation is what it does to time. The way the future starts tapping you on the shoulder in normal moments. The way regret shows up early. The way even small arguments can feel “expensive” when you can’t stop doing the math in your head. And somehow, even with all of that, this call stays surprisingly grounded. There’s love here. There’s fear. There’s humor. And there’s a level of care and perspective that’s hard to wrap your head around at that age. In this episode: Loving someone with a terminal illness at 19Studying death academically while living close to it personallyAnticipatory grief, and living with the awareness of what’s comingHow conflict changes when time feels shortRegret, presence, and the pressure to “do it right”The comfort of personifications of Death in literatureA few moments from the call: “The life expectancy was 18… and then they turned 18, didn’t keel over.”“We just spent the last 30 minutes arguing… that’s now 30 minutes closer to the end.”“It’s like a metronome… you’re just swinging.”Book Recommendations: Hogfather and Reaper Man (Terry Pratchett) More book recommendations from past episodes: View the full list Video Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube. Support the show About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks 🎵 TikTok: @whenwedietalks 📚 Anonymous Book Recommendations ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

    41 min
  5. #45 - A Psychotic Break Changed What I Think About Death

    FEB 4

    #45 - A Psychotic Break Changed What I Think About Death

    What happens when your mind stops feeling like a safe place to live? This week’s anonymous caller shares about experiencing a psychotic break in 2020, and what it changed about how they relate to death, reality, and their own sense of self. They do an unusually good job describing what psychosis can feel like from the inside, including a “movie logic” kind of certainty that’s hard to understand until you hear someone try to explain it. A big part of this conversation is what came after. The caller talks about grounding themselves in logic and facts. Not as a debate, and not as a personality trait. More like a way to stay steady when everything had felt unreliable. From there we end up in some bigger questions too, like perception versus objective reality, how memory shifts when you revisit it, and what it can mean to believe “nothing happens” after death while still admitting how limited human comprehension is. There’s tenderness here, and there’s also humor. At one point the caller drops the line: “this Barbie is going through it.” It’s strangely perfect. In this episode: A psychotic break in 2020, and what it was like to live on the other side of itThe feeling of being betrayed by your own mindGrounding in logic and facts as a way to feel steady againPsychosis, perception, and the gap between “my reality” and “objective reality”What “nothing happens” can mean, and why it might be beyond comprehensionIdentity, selfhood, and the weird edges of what we can explainBook Recommendations: Into Thin Air (Jon Krakauer) More book recommendations from past episodes: View the full list Video Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube. Support the show About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks 🎵 TikTok: @whenwedietalks 📚 Anonymous Book Recommendations ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

    41 min
  6. #44 - Multiple Heart Attacks and a Surprisingly Calm Relationship With Death

    JAN 28

    #44 - Multiple Heart Attacks and a Surprisingly Calm Relationship With Death

    What if something big happens… and your life still mostly goes back to normal? This week’s caller has had two heart attacks, starting when they were sixteen. On paper that sounds intense. But this conversation isn’t heavy. The caller brings a calm, laid-back energy that makes the whole episode feel surprisingly easy to sit with. We talk about how they think about death, including a loose, pop-culture Buddhist view of reincarnation, and how they’ve learned to live with uncertainty without forcing certainty. There’s also real, grounded detail about their heart condition and what it’s like to move through life knowing your body can do unpredictable things. One of my favorite moments is when I ask if the heart attacks changed their life, and they’re just honest: not in some permanent, movie-montage way. There was a burst of intensity, a period of “I should do everything,” and then life slowly drifted back toward normal. It’s not a lesson. It’s just true. In this episode: Having a heart attack at sixteen, and how it shaped their relationship with deathA relaxed, curiosity-forward relationship with mortalityReincarnation, Buddhism, and living with the unknownThe difference between fearing death vs fearing painPanic, hospitals, and what helped them stay calm in the momentLiving with a heart condition over the long termA past-life documentary the caller loves: The Boy Who Lived BeforeBook Recommendations: My Side of the Mountain (Jean Craighead George); The Three Musketeers (Alexandre Dumas) More book recommendations from past episodes: View the full list If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube. Support the show About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks 🎵 TikTok: @whenwedietalks 📚 Anonymous Book Recommendations ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

    38 min
  7. #43 - The Conversation No One Wants to Have With a Child

    JAN 21

    #43 - The Conversation No One Wants to Have With a Child

    What do you say to a child who asks, “Am I going to die?” This week's caller is a physician who works with children who have cancer and has training in pediatric palliative and hospice care. In this conversation, she shares what it’s like to talk honestly with families about death. Including a story about having to tell a seven-year-old patient that she is going to die. This is a heavier episode. The subject matter is difficult, and the conversation doesn’t shy away from that. But it’s also thoughtful and full of compassion. The call stays with what these moments actually require: clarity, presence, and care. We talk about how children understand death and why avoiding these conversations often makes things harder. It's a conversation I promise you won't forget if you are in the right headspace for it.  In this episode: Talking with children about death and dyingWhat it means to tell a child the truthPediatric oncology and palliative careBeing on both sides of the hospital bedEnd-of-life conversations with children and familiesThe absence of language for parents who lose a childBook Recommendations: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams); American Gods (Neil Gaiman) If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube. Support the show About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks 🎵 TikTok: @whenwedietalks 📚 Anonymous Book Recommendations ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

    38 min
  8. #42 - The Ripple Effect: How Loss Continues to Shape the People Left Behind

    JAN 14

    #42 - The Ripple Effect: How Loss Continues to Shape the People Left Behind

    Suicide touches more lives than we often realize. And yet, it’s still something many of us don’t know how to talk about. In this episode, an anonymous caller reflects on losing their brother to suicide and what it’s been like to live with the impact since. Rather than trying to explain what happened or search for answers, the conversation stays with the ripple effect. How loss lingers, how it reshapes relationships, and how it continues to move through the people left behind. This is a gentle conversation. There’s grief here, but there’s also care, thoughtfulness, and room to speak without being pushed toward certainty. It offers a way to listen to a conversation about suicide without panic or sensationalism, and to better understand how much our lives affect others, often in ways we never fully see. If conversations about suicide usually feel overwhelming, this episode offers a more approachable way in. In this episode: Living with the ripple effect of suicideHow loss continues to shape families and communitiesThe impact we leave through small, everyday interactionsImagining what happens when we die without needing certaintyThe Egg by Andy Weir and how stories evolve in memoryBook Recommendations: The Botany of Desire (Michael Pollan) If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube. Memorial Jewelry by Nia EmberlyTransform ashes into pendants and bracelets that carry love every day.Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks 🎵 TikTok: @whenwedietalks 📚 Anonymous Book Recommendations ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

    39 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

When We Die Talks is a collection of real conversations with real people about death, meaning, and what it’s like to be human. Each week, host Zach Ancell speaks with an anonymous caller. It begins with one question: What do you think happens when we die? From there, the conversation goes wherever it goes. Belief. Doubt. Loss. Relief. Fear. Sometimes even laughter. These aren’t experts or public figures. Just everyday people saying the quiet parts out loud. The result is raw, unpredictable, and deeply human. New anonymous calls every Wednesday. Want to add your voice? Apply to be a caller at whenwedietalks.com. Leave a voicemail and share a belief, a question, or a moment you can’t shake about death: 971-328-0864.

Information

  • Creator
    Zach Ancell
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    64
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 When We Die Talks
  • Show Website
    When We Die Talks

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