The former Canberra Raiders player on hiding his fantasy reading habits as a kid in Western Queensland, the joy of doing hard things, and how books brought him back from the brink. Warning: Discussion of suicide. Luke was a sensitive kid, growing up on a cattle station in Western Queensland. He loved being transported by fantasy novels — following the quests, battles and magic they offered him. Luke found release in these books, beyond the hard work and zipped lips of the strong men he saw around him. Luke didn’t fit into that mould, though he did plenty of work on the farm and loved playing footy. The sport helped him find a place to belong in his world. As a young man, he scored a place in the Canberra Raiders NRL team, and was introduced to the world of gambling. This quickly spiralled into an addiction, and Luke abused drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of this period. Despite being at the height of his young life, and earning hundreds of thousands of dollars each year, Luke couldn’t pay for his groceries. He couldn’t put fuel in the car. He was spending all his money on betting. When things hit rock bottom, Luke relied on the strongest, most loving person he knew — his mum. He understood, somehow, that to get out of the deep hole he was in, he had to find his way back to reading. Further information Luke is writing his first two fantasy novels, which will be released in early 2027 under Atria Books Australia, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. If you need someone to speak to, you can always call or chat online with Lifeline on 13 11 14. This episode was produced by Alice Moldovan. The Executive Producer is Eliza Kirsch. This episode touches on suicide, gambling, having a flutter, addiction, rehab, love mum, strong mum, single mum, horse racing, the trots, syndicate, racing horse, borrowing money, Newcastle, rock bottom, hitting rock bottom, powerless over addiction, hero's journey, MDMA, cocaine, alcohol abuse, relapse, recovery, non-linear journey, toxic masculinity, self help, sensitive man. To binge even more great episodes of the Conversations podcast with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.