The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated weekly

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

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  1. 17 hr ago

    Dr Emily - The Phenomenon That Is Imposter Syndrome

    Do you live in fear of being found out as a fraud? That despite your years of competency, achievement and high performance someone will uncover the truth? Well, you’re in the right place. Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is here to tell you that your imposter syndrome is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, it’s not even a syndrome. 💌 Get practical take-aways from this episode, and join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ To get a little bit meta, Dr Emily explains that knowing that you don’t know everything, is a good thing. Especially if you’re starting a new role, or trying something for the first time. HOWEVER, the long-term consequences of the imposter cycle such as perfectionism, overcompensation, burnout, or even avoidance and procrastination, may impact your willingness to say yes to new opportunities, such as going for that promotion or asking for support. In this episode, Dr Emily asks Hugh, Ryan and Josh to think about the balance of their competence and confidence, and provides them (and you!) with four practical strategies for combatting this pesky phenomenon. And then, a weird amount of chat about Vlad the Impaler. 0:00 – An Emisode!2:41 – Adam Grant is not an imposter5:11 – Origins of Imposter Syndrome6:45 – ‘Syndrome’ is the wrong word8:19 – It all comes back to belonging10:39 – How common is imposter syndrome?12:20 – Fear of being found out as a fraud15:16 – The evolutionary psychology of belonging and self-doubt16:35 – Is self-doubt actually healthy?17:42 – Is your confidence a mask?18:57 – The Dunning-Kruger Effect23:15 – The more you know ….25:12 – Competence vs confidence26:29 – The Imposter Cycle: anxiety, perfectionism, luck32:09 – Becoming your own favourite artist35:55 – Avoidance, procrastination + self-fulfilling prophecies38:29 – Long term consequences ft. Hugh’s anus45:26 – Authenticity as the antidote46:22 – Less growth, less promotions48:52 – Strategy 1: write down your skills49:53 – Strategy 2: name your shame51:40 – Supporting a friend with imposter phenomenon52:29 – Self-doubt in a new role is a good sign57:12 – Strategy 3: mentor a near peer1:00:38 – Strategy 4: celebrate your success1:02:57 – Creating a good workplace culture1:04:06 – Belonging is good for business1:06:25 – Want more on belonging? Dr Em, thanks for joining us. 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Adam Grant - The Potential of Your Potential - https://bit.ly/4jc0DFM Dr Emily - We’re Longing for Belonging - https://bit.ly/4yElLJp Rana Hussain - Belonging for Connection - http://bit.ly/4odhGY8 Esther Perel - It’s Not Them, It’s You - https://bit.ly/4yxgljs 🎧Things to listen to The Curiosity Shop with Brene Brown and Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4gT05mW 📖Things to read Hidden Potential, by Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4AemQcv Hardwiring Happiness, by Rick Hanson - https://bit.ly/3T6IhM0 📺 Things to watch Mad Men - https://bit.ly/4cLB6zx 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Dr Emily - The Phenomenon That Is Imposter Syndrome

  2. 7 Sept • Subscribers Only

    Gossiping with Dr Emily… LIVE!

    Did you hear that this episode is all about gossip? And that was recorded LIVE? At the Balwyn Cinema? With Dr Emily? Back in the hallowed seats of the Balwyn Cinema, where Dr Em and Hugh first met as teenagers, and Josh went on a date with Hugh’s now wife Penny, we’re back, to answer your questions about gossip: - Is such a thing as ethical gossip? - Does gossip have an evolutionary function? - what is the difference between workplace gossip and constructive criticism? - why do we feel the need to gossip, or vent, to help us process something? And Josh has a juicy piece of gossip that we can’t tell Hugh. How’s that for clickbait. XOXO, Gossip Guys

    Gossiping with Dr Emily… LIVE!

  3. 6 Sept

    Philippa Northeast - My Brilliant Career Took Years of Rejection

    Have you ever watched the person you love most get everything you ever wanted? Did you harden around envy, or shrink with comparison? Were you able to find happiness for their success? Philippa Northeast, Logie nominated and lead of Netflix’s My Brilliant Career, is a star quickly rising. Her most significant role? The little sister of our producer, Bridge. 💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Joining us as a guest host, Producer Bridge, alongside Hugh, Josh and Ryan, discuss the years of failure and rejection behind the scenes of Pip’s overnight success. Constantly aware of the need to prove herself a success, Philippa is completely vulnerable about the obsession that came from certain rejections, and her anxiety which manifested itself as trichotillomania. Offering a unique and intimate perspective, both Bridge and Josh reflect on their respective siblings’ success, and how that has shaped their own identity. It’s sibling vs sibling, and only one will make it out alive (kidding, it has a happy ending). 0:00 – Meet Producer Bridge’s Little Sister5:43 – Pip’s Brilliant Career: From Home & Away to Netflix Star11:39 – Middle Child Syndrome19:28 – Sibling Comparison: Cricket and Drama Solos20:55 – Finding Success Straight Out of High School22:56 – Self-belief vs Self-doubt: Why Pip Took The Leap and Bridget Didn’t25:30 – Feeling Over-shadowed, and Under Pressure28:00 – Becoming an Unemployed Clown29:17 – The Sensational Potter Backup Plan34:01 – Getting Undressed (Again)35:46 – The Hollywood Grind37:32 – Lockdown, Isolation and Growing Doubt46:15 – Obsession born from Rejection51:49 – What Loneliness in the Acting Industry Feels Like52:46 – The Body Keeps Score: Trichotillomania54:47 – Healing: Journalling, Yoga, Grounding57:04 – The Hallmark Offer That Changed Everything1:03:39 – The Downside of Growing Up Next To A Rising Star1:07:29 – Choosing Pride Over Jealousy1:09:49 – The Upside of Losing to Claudia Karvan 🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Claudia Karvan - Love, Her Way - https://bit.ly/3UNr9LC What’s Your ATAR? - https://bit.ly/4zQ4AG5 📺 Things to watch My Brilliant Career - https://bit.ly/4zPaW8L Family Next Door - https://bit.ly/4gEp0cw Newsreader - https://bit.ly/3UNr4ri A Royal Runaway Romance - https://bit.ly/3V8rGb2 Standing Up For Sunny - https://bit.ly/4xyeASP 🎧 Things to listen to Undressed by Sombr - https://bit.ly/4wY9Ipf 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Philippa Northeast - My Brilliant Career Took Years of Rejection

  4. 23 Aug

    How Childhood Cancer Motivated Josh Niland: One of the World’s Greatest Chefs

    How does having cancer as a child impact the way you live as an adult? Uber successful chef and restauranteur Josh Niland doesn’t do things in halves (no, literally, have you read his book The Whole Fish?). From opening a restaurant at 26, to becoming the first Australian to win the James Beard Book of the Year award when he was just 30, Josh’s creativity came from a place of desperation to explore every opportunity presented to him. 💌Join 9,400+ people getting a Dr Emily values worksheet and takeaways from this week’s episode in our newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Diagnosed with cancer 2 days after his 8th birthday, Josh’s childhood transformed in a matter of hours into hospital hallways, chemotherapy and facing his own mortality. In this episode, Josh joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to talk us through an experience which profoundly changed him, which he is now grateful for. Hugh, Ryan and Josh (our Josh), also ask about where his drive and ambitious creativity comes from, and just how close to failure Josh’s culinary career came. We wish this chat could have gone on longer, If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/hjZPPeKKsVA  🫖Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned on this episode Nathan Cavaleri - The Ups & The Blues - https://bit.ly/468HE7l 📺 Things to watch Josh’s Australian Story - https://bit.ly/4giDtKR 📚Things to read Saint Peter: Chapter & Verse, by Josh Niland - https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN The Whole Fish, by Josh Niland - https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN 🍽️ Places to eat Saint Peter - https://bit.ly/4qrs4gv 💻Things to check out Starlight Children’s Foundation - https://bit.ly/4hHDkmM Josh Niland’s Website - https://www.mrniland.com 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    How Childhood Cancer Motivated Josh Niland: One of the World’s Greatest Chefs

  5. 12 Aug • Subscribers Only

    Where does shame come from?

    If you loved this week’s episode on shame … there’s more. After we stopped recording, Producer Bell had just a few more questions. - Where does shame come from? - And how do we meet someone’s shame with compassion, when what they have done violates our own values? So join us, as Dr Emily explores why shame is an echo of our past, and the practical steps to follow when we are met with someone else’s shame. It would a shame to miss. Head to A Little More Imperfects at https://www.patreon.com/theimperfects to watch.

    Where does shame come from?

  6. 9 Aug

    The Nature of Being Alone

    Can nature help us to feel less alone? 💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/  Psychologist on the incredible, Alone Australia series (remember our seminal episode with Gina Chick?), Mark Mathieson is in the Academy of Imperfection to help us understand how nature regulates our body, and how we can reconnect to it in this digital age. Mark talks about how to uncover the person behind the persona, the science behind gardening, and why Hugh had the best sleep of his life in a tent, with no pillow. According to Mark, human are immensely capable of change, and this episode provides a few things we can do to ensure nature is incorporated into our routines, without cramming the schedule more. Mark, it was great to be alone . . . with you. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIMSSRJg2vQ 0:00 – Ice breaker: where have we gone wrong? 6:58 – The segmentation of exercise 11:46 – Evolution of Mark 18:53 – Person behind the persona 24:10 – Our virtual reality future 27:22 – Let’s learn to adapt 36:00 – Building relationships with nature 42:28 – The science of gardening and sunshine 48:53 – Eventually, reality TV gets us all 53:08 – Big city blues 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Gina Chick - Don’t Fight Life - https://bit.ly/4xj0kga Sean Turnell - A Prisoner’s Guide to Life - https://bit.ly/4btNKCu Sex for Normal People with Ita O’Brien - https://bit.ly/4btNNya Dr Emily - The (pesky) Hedonistic Treadmill - https://bit.ly/4yXxx2B Dr Paul Callaghan - How To Follow The Dreaming Path - https://bit.ly/457l9PY 📚Things to read Comfort Crisis, by Michael Easter - https://bit.ly/4pV10Ga The Dreaming Path, by Dr Paul Callaghan and Uncle Paul Gordon - https://bit.ly/4gctqrZ 📺 Things to watch Alone Australia (new season out now) - https://bit.ly/4yWVW8n 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects All views expressed in this podcast are Mark Mathieson’s and not representative of the Department of Defence, Australia. The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    The Nature of Being Alone

  7. 20 Jul • Subscribers Only

    One For The Highly Sensitive People Out There (with Psychologist Janelle Booker)

    Do highly sensitive people have what it takes to be parents? Welcoming back psychologist Janelle Booker (ADHD and Highly Sensitive Person specialist) for A Little More Questions, Bridge and Josh discuss how you may prepare to become a parent if you identify as a highly sensitive person, OR how you can support your highly sensitive partner. Kids are gross. And loud. And overwhelming. All. The. Time. But, this isn’t the end of the world for highly sensitive people wanting to become parents. Answering your questions, Janelle talks through how HSP parents can put in boundaries with their kids without being “the worst in the whole world,” and why people pleasing is much more akin to self-abandonment. There is SO MUCH in this episode. 🫖Things we mentioned Janelle Hamish episode - NEED LINK Janelle Booker - Living With ADHD - https://bit.ly/4oD0yfe Janelle’s website - https://bit.ly/3BZimwO How do you know you’re in a thinking trap? - https://bit.ly/44fvIjk Elaine Aron - https://bit.ly/4eYlO9H Spot the difference study - https://bit.ly/4oFABf0 Lael Stone - Parent Yourself First - https://bit.ly/4oIohe8 Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - https://bit.ly/3SPuEjC Maggie Dent - “Good Enough” Parenting is Good Enough - https://bit.ly/4vfwngw The Orchid and The Dandelion, by Thomas Boyce - https://bit.ly/4escA6s Quiet, by Susan Cain - https://bit.ly/3SRjQBx

    One For The Highly Sensitive People Out There (with Psychologist Janelle Booker)

  8. 13 Jul • Subscribers Only

    Why Hugh Was Naked At The Office

    What shenanigans did Hugh get up to this week? Hint: it involves the work shower and a missing towel. Also in this episode, we hold another semi-regular book club to talk about a bit from a book that changed Producer Bell’s life a bit. We pull a reflection from the pond, and ponder (let it be known that George came up with this pun first) about what lights us up that we’re no longer doing. And FINALLY Ryan gets a chance to talk about his mixed netball talents. And then Hugh brings a quote, and promises to drive more engagement in patreon. 🎧 Things we talked about on this episode - A Place of Greater Safety, by Hilary Mantel - https://bit.ly/4oJT1ex - To send in a reflection to the pond - www.theimperfects.com.au/contact

    Why Hugh Was Naked At The Office
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Hosts & Guests

About

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Information

  • Creator
    Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    347
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Show Website
    The Imperfects
  • Provider
    The Imperfects Podcast Pty Ltd

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