Parenting Different

Parenting Different
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The Parenting Different Podcast is the go-to show for adoptive parents who want to raise children who feel seen, heard, and truly valued. Hosted by Anna Bernacki, Director of Community at Parenting Different, this podcast blends expert insight with real lived experience from adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families.

  1. 5 MAR

    Parenting Kids With Trauma: When Love Isn’t Enough

    Melissa Smallwood’s story is layered with resilience, heartbreak, healing, and deep commitment to children from hard places. Removed from her home as a child and placed into foster care, Melissa aged out of the system as a teen mom, never imagining that one day she would become both an adoptive parent and a trauma therapist working in child welfare. In this powerful conversation, she shares how her lived experience shaped the way she parents children with complex trauma and how her family ultimately grew to include seven children through a combination of step-parent adoption, foster care adoption, and unexpected family connections. The conversation dives into the realities many adoptive and foster parents face but rarely talk about—triggering moments when parenting mirrors your own childhood trauma, the painful decision to pursue residential treatment for a child, and the emotional toll of loving kids who are struggling deeply. Melissa offers wisdom on maintaining connection, prioritizing safety for the entire family, and showing up for children even when healing takes years. You’ll also hear practical guidance for parenting trauma-affected teens how to balance accountability with compassion, why consequences still matter, and how “scaffolding” life skills can prepare kids for adulthood when their developmental age doesn’t match their biological age. This episode is an honest, hopeful conversation for parents navigating the messy middle of trauma, healing, and unconditional love. What You’ll Learn: What it’s like to grow up in foster care and later become an adoptive parentHow trauma triggers can resurface when fostering or adopting childrenWhen residential treatment becomes necessary—and how to stay connectedWhy safety for the whole family must be the top priorityHow to parent trauma-affected teens using “scaffolding” instead of controlThe importance of relationship over rigid rules during adolescenceHow adoptive parents can support healing without taking responsibility for the outcome Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    57 min

  2. 27 FEB

    Navigating Racial Incidents in Transracial Families

    When racism makes headlines, transracial families feel it at home. What others may dismiss as politics often lands as something deeply personal for parents raising children of color. In this candid conversation, Julie Etter and Isaac Etter explore how racial incidents impact identity, trust, and family dynamics. They discuss the pain of community silence, the responsibility of white parents to speak up, and the challenge of preparing children for bias without defining them by it. This episode offers both practical guidance and heartfelt encouragement for families walking this road. What You’ll LearnHow racial incidents uniquely affect transracial adoptive familiesWhy silence from friends and community can feel isolatingAge-appropriate ways to talk about race at homeHow internet culture is reshaping racial awarenessThe balance between preparation and protectionWhy diverse community and racial mirrors matter Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    53 min

  3. 20 FEB

    How to Fix Foster Care: One Brave Voice at a Time

    The foster care system feels massive. Broken. Overwhelming. And if you’re a foster or adoptive parent in the thick of it, it can feel like your voice doesn’t matter at all. In this powerful conversation, Kat Momen shares how she went from overwhelmed foster mom to grassroots advocate knocking on legislators’ doors, testifying at the state house, and fighting for children to have legal representation in court. But this isn’t a story about politics. It’s a story about courage. About choosing child safety over comfort. About learning to conflict well, document wisely, and speak up even when retaliation feels real. If you’ve ever walked into a courtroom and wondered, “When are we going to talk about the kids?” this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with practical, doable steps to advocate in your case, in your state, and in your own home. Change doesn’t happen all at once. It starts with one voice refusing to stay silent. What You’ll Learn:Why children in foster care often lack true legal advocacyHow to conflict professionally (without burning bridges)Practical steps to protect yourself through documentationHow to contact your state legislators—and what to sayThe power of showing up in court prepared and professionalHow to overcome fear of retaliation while advocating for child safetyWhy slow, steady grassroots work creates lasting change Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    34 min

  4. 12 FEB

    Adoptee to Adoptive Mom: Identity, Grief & Healing the Brain

    What happens when an adoptee becomes an adoptive mom? In this deeply honest conversation, Dolly Regier shares what it means to live on both sides of the adoption triad. Adopted from South Korea and raised in a multi-racial adoptive family, Dolly grew up hearing the beautiful parts of her story but not always the grief underneath it. When she felt called to adopt herself, the process unexpectedly reopened questions she had buried for years: identity, belonging, birth family, and the silent weight of loss that adoption carries. As her daughter entered the teenage years, Dolly found herself face-to-face with familiar struggles identity confusion, racial visibility in a small rural town, and the complicated tension between pride and privacy in adoption narratives. She shares what it means to guard a child’s story, to avoid oversharing, and to parent through trauma while still healing your own. The conversation turns to hope as Dolly explains how neurofeedback became a turning point for her family. After years of navigating trauma responses, therapy resistance, and parenting triggers, she discovered a brain-based tool that helped regulate not just her daughter, but the entire family system. This episode is a powerful reminder: healing is possible, and when the brain finds safety, the whole family can change. What You’ll LearnThe hidden grief many adoptees carry beneath the “chosen” narrativeWhat it’s like to adopt after being adoptedWhy protecting your child’s adoption story mattersIdentity struggles for transracial adoptees in small communitiesHow trauma shows up differently in teensWhat neurofeedback is and how it helps with trauma and regulationWhy nervous system healing works best when the whole family participates Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    40 min

  5. 6 FEB

    How Trauma Affects Eating in Foster and Adopted Kids

    Eating struggles in foster and adoptive homes are rarely about food alone. In this powerful and deeply affirming episode, Anna sits down with Madison a registered dietitian and adoptive mom to explore how trauma fundamentally reshapes a child’s relationship with eating. From food hoarding and extreme pickiness to fear, control, and shame at the table, this conversation names what so many parents experience but few know how to address. Madison shares why common advice like restricting snacks, labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” or locking up the pantry can unintentionally deepen fear and dysregulation. Instead, she offers a trauma-informed framework centered on felt safety, trust, and connection reminding parents that healing begins when children no longer have to protect themselves around food. This episode will help caregivers shift from fear-based feeding to relationship-based nourishment. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, judged, or worried you’re “doing it wrong” when it comes to feeding your child with trauma, this episode will meet you with clarity, compassion, and hope. What You’ll Learn Why trauma often shows up as food hoarding or picky eatingHow food insecurity impacts a child’s brain and behaviorWhy traditional nutrition rules don’t work for traumatized kidsThe hidden harm of labeling foods as “good” or “bad”How trust and felt safety shape a child’s eating habitsTrauma-informed alternatives to restriction and controlHow parents can model a healthy relationship with food 👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    49 min

  6. 29 JAN

    Love, Loss, and Adoption as a Birth Mother with Janelle Basham (Part 2)

    In Part 2 of this powerful conversation, Janelle Basham and host Anna move deeper into what adoption looks like over time when children grow up, technology changes everything, and honesty can no longer be delayed. Together, they explore open adoption, boundaries, and the importance of centering the child even when relationships are complicated, messy, or painful. Janelle shares why adoption is built on loss for everyone involved, birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents alike and why that loss doesn’t need to be fixed to be lived with well. This episode unpacks the dangers of secrecy, the harm of fear-based decisions, and the lifelong consequences when children are denied truth, medical history, or access to their own stories. With compassion and clarity, Janelle challenges adoptive parents to choose courage over control and connection over comfort. This conversation is an invitation to do adoption differently through honesty, humility, community, and a willingness to sit with the hard things for the sake of the child. What You’ll LearnWhy adoption is built on loss for birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parentsHow open adoption can evolve and why boundaries still matterThe harm caused by secrecy, fear, and delayed truthWhy children deserve honest, age-appropriate informationHow technology and DNA have permanently changed adoptionWhy adopted children cannot be responsible for healing adult woundsWhat it looks like to center the child, even when it’s uncomfortable 👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    33 min

  7. 23 JAN

    Love, Loss, and Adoption as a Birth Mother with Janelle Basham (Part 1)

    What does it really mean to choose adoption, and how does that decision stay with you for life? In Part 1 of this deeply honest conversation, Janelle Basham shares her story of becoming a birth mother at 17 and the love, loss, and courage behind making an adoption plan. With vulnerability and clarity, Janelle takes us back to the beginning, navigating pregnancy, racial tension, limited support, and the painful realization that love alone isn’t always enough to parent well. Janelle challenges the myths and stereotypes surrounding birth mothers and adoption, speaking openly about grief, identity, and the lifelong “hole in the heart” that placement can leave behind. As both a birth mother and a leader in adoption advocacy, she offers a perspective rooted in lived experience, one that reminds us adoption is not about being unwanted, but about sacrifice, responsibility, and doing the best you can with what you have. This is Part 1 of a powerful two-part series that lays the emotional foundation for understanding adoption with greater compassion, honesty, and care. What You’ll LearnWhat leads a birth mother to choose adoptionWhy love alone isn’t enough to parent a childHow parenting plans and adoption plans can exist togetherThe long-term grief birth mothers carry after placementWhy adoption is not about rejection or abandonmentHow harmful stereotypes about birth parents affect everyoneWhat it really means to live with loss, not “move on” from it 👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    29 min

  8. 18/12/2025

    Adoption & the Holidays

    The holidays can bring warmth, traditions, and togetherness, but for adoptive families, they can also surface grief, trauma, sensory overload, and big emotions that don’t fit neatly into picture-perfect expectations. In this episode of Parenting Different, Anna sits down with adoptive mom Melinda Martin for an honest, compassionate conversation about what adoption and the holidays really look like behind closed doors. Melinda shares her journey from foster care to adopting a sibling set of three, and how the holidays became a season that required flexibility, grace, and a willingness to let go of “the way it’s supposed to be.” Together, they explore how trauma often shows up during celebrations, why dysregulation can spike after holiday events, and how parents can protect their children, and themselves, by prioritizing safety, connection, and nervous system regulation over performance. If the holidays feel heavy, chaotic, or disappointing this year, this episode is a reminder that you are not failing. Sometimes the most meaningful memories are made not by doing more, but by doing less and choosing your family over expectations. What You’ll LearnWhy the holidays can be especially triggering for adopted childrenHow trauma and loss surface during celebrationsLetting go of rigid traditions to meet your child’s needsWhy flexibility matters more than “perfect” holidaysHow to say no to events without guiltSupporting nervous system regulation during busy seasonsCreating connection-centered holiday memories Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: 👉 https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    36 min
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About

The Parenting Different Podcast is the go-to show for adoptive parents who want to raise children who feel seen, heard, and truly valued. Hosted by Anna Bernacki, Director of Community at Parenting Different, this podcast blends expert insight with real lived experience from adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families.

Information

  • Creator
    Parenting Different
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    23
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Parenting Different
  • Show Website
    Parenting Different

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