Parenting Different

Parenting Different
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The Parenting Different Podcast is the go-to show for adoptive parents who want to raise children who feel seen, heard, and truly valued. Hosted by Anna Bernacki, Director of Community at Parenting Different, this podcast blends expert insight with real lived experience from adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families.

  1. 6 DAYS AGO

    Healing After Failed Adoptions & Finding Hope

    What happens when an adoption doesn’t go through? No one really talks about what comes next. In this deeply moving conversation, Valerie Marble shares the story behind the launch of Beyond the Match Foundation, a groundbreaking initiative created to support families navigating the heartbreak of failed adoptions. From the financial devastation of lost funds to the emotional toll that often goes unseen, this episode sheds light on a reality many families quietly endure. But this isn’t just a story about loss, it’s about rebuilding. Valerie introduces a new model of care that combines financial grants, mental health resources, and meaningful gestures like Mother’s Day gift baskets designed specifically for adoptive moms at every stage of the journey. This episode offers hope, validation, and a reminder that even in the most painful disruptions, healing and support are possible. https://astepaheadadoption.com/foundation/

    31 min

  2. 3 APR

    Adoption Ethics: Red Flags Every Parent Must Know

    Adoption is often painted as a beautiful, selfless act, but what happens when we look beneath the surface? In this deeply honest and eye-opening conversation, Anna Bernacki sits down with birth mother advocate Jessie Mattos to unpack the ethical complexities that many families never see coming. From hidden coercion to overlooked birth mother support, this episode challenges the narratives that have shaped adoption for decades. Jessie brings nearly a decade of experience and her own lived story to shed light on what truly ethical adoption should look like. She shares powerful insights into red flags adoptive parents must watch for, the emotional realities birth mothers face, and why centering the adoptee is essential for long-term healing. This isn’t just about doing adoption “right” it’s about confronting uncomfortable truths so that children, birth parents, and adoptive families can all thrive. If you’re considering adoption, already parenting through it, or simply want a more honest understanding of its impact, this episode will change the way you think and feel about adoption forever. What You’ll Learn: The biggest red flags and green flags when choosing an adoption agencyHow subtle coercion shows up in adoption (and why it matters)Why open adoption should be the standard—not the exceptionThe lifelong impact of adoption language on adoptee identityHow adoptive parents can build trust and security through relationshipsThe truth about birth mothers and breaking harmful stereotypesWhy “love isn’t the reason” behind placement decisions Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    59 min

  3. 20 MAR

    Adoption, Identity, and the Search for Who We Really Are with Simon Benn

    Simon Benn spent most of his life believing he had a “good” adoption story. Raised in a loving home, he didn’t carry the obvious wounds many adoptees describe. But at 40 years old, a simple revelation that a childhood teddy bear came from his birth mother shook something deep inside him. What followed was a painful question many adoptees quietly carry: If she loved me… why didn’t she keep me? Years later, reading his birth mother’s letter would completely transform that belief. In this powerful conversation, Simon shares how that moment helped him move from feelings of rejection to a profound sense of connection and love. His journey reveals that identity isn’t just about where we come from it’s about how we interpret our story, and whether we allow it to define or free us. This episode goes beyond adoption labels and digs into something universal: the human search for meaning, belonging, and truth. Simon also shares insights from interviewing hundreds across the adoption constellation and introduces his THRIVE framework offering a new way to think about trauma, healing, and growth. His message is clear: healing doesn’t come from staying stuck in the past—it comes from expanding who we become. What You’ll Learn: How a childhood object unlocked hidden adoptee griefWhy feelings of abandonment can shift into understanding and loveThe balance between exploring your past and not getting stuck in itHow understanding the “why” can strengthen parenting and relationshipsThe THRIVE framework: Trauma, Healing, Resilience, Identity, Vision, EmpowermentWhy healing requires growth not just timeA powerful mindset shift for adoptive parents: it’s not about fixing your child Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    32 min

  4. 5 MAR

    Parenting Kids With Trauma: When Love Isn’t Enough

    Melissa Smallwood’s story is layered with resilience, heartbreak, healing, and deep commitment to children from hard places. Removed from her home as a child and placed into foster care, Melissa aged out of the system as a teen mom, never imagining that one day she would become both an adoptive parent and a trauma therapist working in child welfare. In this powerful conversation, she shares how her lived experience shaped the way she parents children with complex trauma and how her family ultimately grew to include seven children through a combination of step-parent adoption, foster care adoption, and unexpected family connections. The conversation dives into the realities many adoptive and foster parents face but rarely talk about—triggering moments when parenting mirrors your own childhood trauma, the painful decision to pursue residential treatment for a child, and the emotional toll of loving kids who are struggling deeply. Melissa offers wisdom on maintaining connection, prioritizing safety for the entire family, and showing up for children even when healing takes years. You’ll also hear practical guidance for parenting trauma-affected teens how to balance accountability with compassion, why consequences still matter, and how “scaffolding” life skills can prepare kids for adulthood when their developmental age doesn’t match their biological age. This episode is an honest, hopeful conversation for parents navigating the messy middle of trauma, healing, and unconditional love. What You’ll Learn: What it’s like to grow up in foster care and later become an adoptive parentHow trauma triggers can resurface when fostering or adopting childrenWhen residential treatment becomes necessary—and how to stay connectedWhy safety for the whole family must be the top priorityHow to parent trauma-affected teens using “scaffolding” instead of controlThe importance of relationship over rigid rules during adolescenceHow adoptive parents can support healing without taking responsibility for the outcome Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    57 min

  5. 27 FEB

    Navigating Racial Incidents in Transracial Families

    When racism makes headlines, transracial families feel it at home. What others may dismiss as politics often lands as something deeply personal for parents raising children of color. In this candid conversation, Julie Etter and Isaac Etter explore how racial incidents impact identity, trust, and family dynamics. They discuss the pain of community silence, the responsibility of white parents to speak up, and the challenge of preparing children for bias without defining them by it. This episode offers both practical guidance and heartfelt encouragement for families walking this road. What You’ll LearnHow racial incidents uniquely affect transracial adoptive familiesWhy silence from friends and community can feel isolatingAge-appropriate ways to talk about race at homeHow internet culture is reshaping racial awarenessThe balance between preparation and protectionWhy diverse community and racial mirrors matter Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    53 min

  6. 20 FEB

    How to Fix Foster Care: One Brave Voice at a Time

    The foster care system feels massive. Broken. Overwhelming. And if you’re a foster or adoptive parent in the thick of it, it can feel like your voice doesn’t matter at all. In this powerful conversation, Kat Momen shares how she went from overwhelmed foster mom to grassroots advocate knocking on legislators’ doors, testifying at the state house, and fighting for children to have legal representation in court. But this isn’t a story about politics. It’s a story about courage. About choosing child safety over comfort. About learning to conflict well, document wisely, and speak up even when retaliation feels real. If you’ve ever walked into a courtroom and wondered, “When are we going to talk about the kids?” this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with practical, doable steps to advocate in your case, in your state, and in your own home. Change doesn’t happen all at once. It starts with one voice refusing to stay silent. What You’ll Learn:Why children in foster care often lack true legal advocacyHow to conflict professionally (without burning bridges)Practical steps to protect yourself through documentationHow to contact your state legislators—and what to sayThe power of showing up in court prepared and professionalHow to overcome fear of retaliation while advocating for child safetyWhy slow, steady grassroots work creates lasting change Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    34 min

  7. 12 FEB

    Adoptee to Adoptive Mom: Identity, Grief & Healing the Brain

    What happens when an adoptee becomes an adoptive mom? In this deeply honest conversation, Dolly Regier shares what it means to live on both sides of the adoption triad. Adopted from South Korea and raised in a multi-racial adoptive family, Dolly grew up hearing the beautiful parts of her story but not always the grief underneath it. When she felt called to adopt herself, the process unexpectedly reopened questions she had buried for years: identity, belonging, birth family, and the silent weight of loss that adoption carries. As her daughter entered the teenage years, Dolly found herself face-to-face with familiar struggles identity confusion, racial visibility in a small rural town, and the complicated tension between pride and privacy in adoption narratives. She shares what it means to guard a child’s story, to avoid oversharing, and to parent through trauma while still healing your own. The conversation turns to hope as Dolly explains how neurofeedback became a turning point for her family. After years of navigating trauma responses, therapy resistance, and parenting triggers, she discovered a brain-based tool that helped regulate not just her daughter, but the entire family system. This episode is a powerful reminder: healing is possible, and when the brain finds safety, the whole family can change. What You’ll LearnThe hidden grief many adoptees carry beneath the “chosen” narrativeWhat it’s like to adopt after being adoptedWhy protecting your child’s adoption story mattersIdentity struggles for transracial adoptees in small communitiesHow trauma shows up differently in teensWhat neurofeedback is and how it helps with trauma and regulationWhy nervous system healing works best when the whole family participates Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    40 min

  8. 6 FEB

    How Trauma Affects Eating in Foster and Adopted Kids

    Eating struggles in foster and adoptive homes are rarely about food alone. In this powerful and deeply affirming episode, Anna sits down with Madison a registered dietitian and adoptive mom to explore how trauma fundamentally reshapes a child’s relationship with eating. From food hoarding and extreme pickiness to fear, control, and shame at the table, this conversation names what so many parents experience but few know how to address. Madison shares why common advice like restricting snacks, labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” or locking up the pantry can unintentionally deepen fear and dysregulation. Instead, she offers a trauma-informed framework centered on felt safety, trust, and connection reminding parents that healing begins when children no longer have to protect themselves around food. This episode will help caregivers shift from fear-based feeding to relationship-based nourishment. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, judged, or worried you’re “doing it wrong” when it comes to feeding your child with trauma, this episode will meet you with clarity, compassion, and hope. What You’ll Learn Why trauma often shows up as food hoarding or picky eatingHow food insecurity impacts a child’s brain and behaviorWhy traditional nutrition rules don’t work for traumatized kidsThe hidden harm of labeling foods as “good” or “bad”How trust and felt safety shape a child’s eating habitsTrauma-informed alternatives to restriction and controlHow parents can model a healthy relationship with food 👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

    49 min
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About

The Parenting Different Podcast is the go-to show for adoptive parents who want to raise children who feel seen, heard, and truly valued. Hosted by Anna Bernacki, Director of Community at Parenting Different, this podcast blends expert insight with real lived experience from adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families.

Information

  • Creator
    Parenting Different
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    26
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Parenting Different
  • Show Website
    Parenting Different

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