Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

Ashleigh Butterss
  • 4.8 (94)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Behind the Smile is a mental health, recovery and personal growth podcast hosted by TEDx speaker and coach Ash Butterss. Exploring alcohol, addiction, sobriety, trauma and emotional wellbeing, it reveals the raw reality behind the facade of people's "perfect lives." After getting sober in 2020 and leaving corporate life, Ash now shares raw conversations, expert insights and powerful stories to help you heal, grow and reconnect with your true self. Expect honesty, practical tools and real talk that proves when we recover out loudly, no one has to suffer in silence. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. Ep 180. Come Back to Yourself: A Mini Life Update + 10 Minute Guided Meditation with Ash Butterss

    5 days ago

    Ep 180. Come Back to Yourself: A Mini Life Update + 10 Minute Guided Meditation with Ash Butterss

    This week, Ash drops in with a mini solo episode to share a life update from her recent trip to Bali and to offer something she herself has been craving - a guided meditation to help you reset. She reflects on attending the AA convention, what it’s like to travel sober after years of using airports and planes as a reason to drink, and the joy of being surrounded by like-minded people who truly understand the recovery journey. She also speaks about the not so pleasant reality of getting Bali Belly, and the lessons in surrender, self-care, and taking quick action.  For the first time on the podcast, Ash is also sharing a guided meditation. One she specifically wrote for her Behind The Smile listeners. A 10-minute guided meditation designed to bring you back to yourself, whether you’re at home, walking, or listening on the go, offering a simple way to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with what actually matters today. Episode chapters: 00:00 Welcome, Intentions & Gratitude 00:56 Post‑Bali Life Update & Mini Solo Setup 02:10 Bali AA Convention & Joy of Sober Travel 03:11 Sunur, Ubud & Favorite Bali Rituals 05:32 Ubud Hotel Recos, Monkey Story & Bali Belly 10:11 Calling the Doctor & Reframing “What a Gift” 12:32 Coming Home Gently & Loving Life You Don’t Need a Holiday From 14:54 Returning to Meditation & Idea for a “Reset” 17:19 Guided 10‑Minute Reset Meditation 27:14 Final Reflections, Gratitude & Call to Action Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    28 min
  2. Ep 179. Burnout, Breathwork and Being Guided By Your Intuition, with Shanaye Kuntze

    14 June

    Ep 179. Burnout, Breathwork and Being Guided By Your Intuition, with Shanaye Kuntze

    This week, Ash sits down with psychic, healer and mindset coach Shanaye Kuntze for a raw conversation about burnout, self-worth, intuition and the journey back to self. Behind a successful business and years spent helping others, Shanaye found herself completely burnt out, bed-ridden, disconnected and unable to keep going. Together, Ash and Shanaye unpack the hidden ways childhood wounds and the search for love and approval can shape our lives, careers and sense of self. Shanaye shares how breathwork became the catalyst for profound healing and the awakening of her psychic gifts, opening the door to deeper intuition, purpose and trust in herself. They explore boundaries, rest, alignment and what it really means to create a life that feels good, not just one that looks good. This is a powerful conversation about slowing down, listening inward, and finding the courage to follow the voice within. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Shanaye Kuntze 02:48 Navigating Burnout and Its Impact 05:55 The Energy of Doing What You Love 08:59 The Importance of Boundaries 11:55 Hiding Behind a Smile: Shanaye's Photo Reflection 14:54 The Journey Through Burnout 18:06 The Path to Healing and Self-Discovery 21:02 The Role of Competitive Sports in Shanae's Life 24:05 Transitioning from Sports to Fitness Coaching 27:02 The Addiction to Work and Its Consequences 29:46 Finding Light After Rock Bottom 31:15 The Awakening to Breathwork 34:43 Unleashing Psychic Abilities 36:44 Creating Space for Transformation 40:27 Deepening the Breathwork Experience 43:01 The Power of Vulnerability in Community 46:02 Communicating with Spirit Guides 52:17 Reflections on Transformation 55:17 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life You can connect with Shanaye through: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/skbodyworks Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/skbodyworks/ Website: https://skbodyworks.com.au Podcast: (Apple) https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-gym-tonic-podcast/id1743895889 (Spotify) https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-gym-tonic-podcast/id1743895889 Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here NOW SOLD OUT! Next Ritual coming in September. Details launching soon. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    58 min
  3. Ep 178. Solo Episode: What Does Spirituality Have To Do With Sobriety?

    7 June

    Ep 178. Solo Episode: What Does Spirituality Have To Do With Sobriety?

    This week, Ash shares a sneak peak into her memoir she's currently writing, tracing how her spiritual life has evolved in recovery. What began as skepticism and resistance toward anything “spiritual” has slowly become the foundation of her day-to-day life, influencing how she relates to herself, others, and the world around her. She opens up about moving from a place of self-hatred, numbing, and constant chasing to an inner landscape shaped by simple, consistent practices like prayer, meditation, gratitude, and quiet acts of service. Ash reflects on how spirituality, for her, isn’t about being “woo-woo” or giving up ambition or joy, but about how you live when no one is watching and how kindly you speak to yourself when things are hard. At its heart, this episode invites listeners to reconsider what spirituality might look like in their own lives, whether they’re on a sober path, a healing journey, or simply curious about something deeper. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Welcome, Intentions & Gratitude 00:56 Memoir Writing & Bali Setup 03:14 Spirituality as the Foundation of Sobriety 05:39 From Non‑Believer to Spiritual Seeker 08:04 Redefining a Higher Power in Recovery 10:26 Gift of Desperation & Early God Experiments 12:48 Daily Prayer, Gratitude & Relationship with God 15:01 Meditation, Listening & Two‑Way Prayer 17:25 Depositing into the Spiritual Bank 19:42 Spiritual Solution to Alcoholism & Old Patterns Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    27 min
  4. Ep 177. What It Takes To Be A Sober Solo Mum, with Alisha Burns

    31 May

    Ep 177. What It Takes To Be A Sober Solo Mum, with Alisha Burns

    This week, Ash sits down with Alisha Burns, founder of Solo Mum Society, to talk about the deeply personal road that led her to motherhood on her own terms. Alisha shares the heartbreak of infertility, the emotional weight of hidden struggles, and the quiet strength it took to move through a life that often looked fine from the outside while feeling very different underneath. She opens up about the role alcohol played in her life, the pressure of social expectations, and the long process of learning to trust herself again. Ash and Alisha explore what it means to choose donor conception, to step into solo motherhood by choice, and to build a life that feels honest, intentional, and aligned with who you really are. Throughout the conversation, Alisha reflects on the changing shape of family, the power of community support, and the liberation that can come from letting go of the version of life you thought you were meant to have. At its heart, this episode is about grief, growth, and the courage to create a future rooted in authenticity, independence, and love. Trigger Warning: This episode discusses pregnancy loss.  Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Alicia Burns and Her Journey 03:01 Navigating Motherhood and Business 06:01 Hiding Behind a Smile: Alicia's Photo Reflection 09:11 Infertility Struggles and Emotional Toll 12:09 The Impact of Alcohol on Coping Mechanisms 15:04 The End of a Marriage and New Beginnings 17:58 Finding Strength in Adversity 20:53 The Journey to Motherhood: Donor Conception 23:48 Overcoming Challenges and Embracing Change 30:45 The Journey of Single Motherhood 32:08 Navigating Isolation and Connection 34:29 The Impact of Alcohol Culture 38:52 Realizations and Transformations 43:35 Embracing Independence and Self-Discovery 46:25 The Changing Landscape of Family Dynamics 49:54 Empowerment Through Intentional Choices 52:46 Building Community and Support 54:40 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Website - www.solomumsociety.com Instagram - @noneedforprincecharming Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here  Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    57 min
  5. Ep 176. What Really Went Down at The Embodied Woman Retreat, with Ash & Laura Corcoran

    24 May

    Ep 176. What Really Went Down at The Embodied Woman Retreat, with Ash & Laura Corcoran

    This week, Ash sits down with holistic psychologist Laura Corcoran to unpack what really happened inside The Embodied Woman retreat. Over four days on the Gold Coast, sixteen women arrived as strangers and left having cracked open years of armour, people pleasing, perfectionism, and emotional suppression. Ash and Laura reflect on the moments that shifted everything, from the resistance and fear women carried on day one, to the tears, breakthroughs, nervous system releases, and deep honesty that unfolded as the weekend progressed. They speak about why so many women feel disconnected from themselves, how high functioning coping mechanisms keep us stuck, and what happens when you finally feel safe enough to be fully seen. This conversation explores embodiment, sisterhood, emotional healing, relationships, boundaries, identity, and the power of being in a room where masks are no longer needed. Ash and Laura also share why transformation happens so quickly in immersive spaces like this, and why the women who attended are already making powerful changes in their lives back home. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from holding it all together, disconnected from yourself, or like you’re craving something deeper than surface level self development, this episode is for you. For more information on The Embodied Woman Retreat 2027 you can send Ash a message on IG here, or email hello@ashbutterss.com Episode Chapters: 00:00 The Energy of the Retreat 02:58 Integration and Connection 06:00 Creating a Safe Space 08:59 Meeting Your Edge 11:53 Transformation Through Action 15:04 Intergenerational Healing 17:56 The Power of Vulnerability 20:59 Sisterhood and Support 24:01 Reflections on the Experience 28:33 Connection and Community in Retreats 30:10 Overcoming Personal Challenges 32:06 Emotional Vulnerability and Heart Opening 33:13 Facing Uncertainty and Embracing Change 36:32 The Journey of Growth and Transformation 38:19 The Power of Embodied Experiences 39:20 Announcing the Next Retreat Reach out to Laura - @hersuccessfulmind Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    41 min
  6. Ep 175. A Rapid Road to Rock Bottom and Finding a Life Worth Living, with Rosie Eldershaw

    17 May

    Ep 175. A Rapid Road to Rock Bottom and Finding a Life Worth Living, with Rosie Eldershaw

    This week, Ash sits down with Rosie Eldershaw, a country girl turned Melburnian who recently celebrated three years of sobriety after multiple rehabs and several near-fatal rock bottoms. Rosie shares how her drinking progressed from nightly wine to 24/7 spirits and drugs, and how she kept a bubbly, high-functioning facade while quietly falling apart inside. She speaks honestly about seizures, the shame of drinking hand sanitiser and mouthwash, and the terror of knowing something was very wrong but feeling powerless to stop. Rosie reflects on the turning points that finally stuck: finding a 12-step program, allowing others to help, and building a simple, peaceful life she genuinely enjoys with yoga, dog parks, her partner and her dog. This is a grounded, hopeful conversation about ownership, spirituality, and the non-negotiables that now protect her sobriety and happiness. Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Journey of Transformation 03:01 Rosie's Story of Sobriety 05:56 The Struggles Behind the Smile 08:57 The Dangerous Path of Alcoholism 12:07 Childhood and Early Influences 14:48 The Progression of Drinking 17:58 Family Concerns and Consequences 20:54 The Desperation of Addiction 23:55 The Journey to Rehab 26:28 The Journey Through Rehab 29:00 The Turning Point: A Meeting That Changed Everything 32:52 Embracing Spirituality in Recovery 36:57 Overcoming the Ego: Finding a Higher Power 40:46 Living One Day at a Time 46:29 Building Healthy Relationships in Sobriety 53:24 Non-Negotiables for a Happy Life Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    56 min
  7. Ep 174. Learning to Surrender, Why Acceptance is the Pathway To Inner Peace, with Ash Butterss

    10 May

    Ep 174. Learning to Surrender, Why Acceptance is the Pathway To Inner Peace, with Ash Butterss

    This week, Ash returns with a solo episode that’s felt long overdue. After a season of slowing down and stepping back, she’s back behind the mic on her own, not with all the answers, but with a deeper level of honesty about what it really means to accept life as it is. Drawing on yoga philosophy, recovery, and her own lived experience, Ash explores the tension between control and surrender. She opens up about her patterns of perfectionism, the need to hold everything together, and the unexpected peace that came when she finally softened her grip. This is a deeply personal reflection on relationships, family dynamics, and the moments that still stir old wounds. Ash also shares her experience navigating motherhood, fertility, and loss, and how these chapters have shaped her understanding of acceptance in a way no theory ever could. If you’ve been trying to control outcomes, fix everything, or push against what is, this episode offers a different way. A gentle reminder that peace isn’t found in having it all figured out, but in learning to meet yourself exactly where you are. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Intentions 00:57 Embracing Vulnerability in Solo Episodes 04:03 The Journey of Acceptance 10:10 Letting Go of Control 15:00 Navigating Relationships with Acceptance 20:04 The Spiritual Journey and Personal Growth 24:53 Conclusion and Call to Action Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    29 min
  8. Ep 173. Dancing Through the Dark, Depression and Psychosis, with Taylah King

    3 May

    Ep 173. Dancing Through the Dark, Depression and Psychosis, with Taylah King

    This week, Ash sits down with embodied dance artist and coach Taylah King, whose journey from darkness to rediscovery is both heart-wrenching and deeply inspiring. Taylah opens up about her twelve-year relationship and marriage that began in childhood, the growing inner whisper that something wasn't right, and the vulnerability of walking away from the only safety she'd ever known. From alcohol abuse that started at fourteen to a drug-induced psychosis triggered by ayahuasca, Taylah shares candidly about spending two years dissociated from reality, convinced she was dead, and trapped in a mental health crisis that felt inescapable. She reflects on the terrifying experience of psychosis, the inadequacy of traditional mental health support, and the overwhelming loneliness of not knowing if she'd ever come back. Taylah describes the turning point that changed everything: surrendering to faith, working with a mentor, and falling in love for the first time while sober, which allowed her to finally feel again after years of numbness. Throughout their conversation, Ash and Taylah explore the danger of spiritual bypassing, the power of embodiment practices, and the importance of learning to listen to your nervous system instead of seeking answers outside yourself. Today, Taylah uses dance and movement as medicine, helping others reconnect to their bodies and move freely in the world without substances. Her story is a powerful reminder that even in the deepest darkness, there is always a way back home to yourself. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Taylah's Journey 02:56 Rediscovery Through Dance 06:05 The Struggles Behind the Smile 09:02 Substance Abuse and Its Impact 12:01 The Role of Ayahuasca in Healing 14:58 Experiencing Psychosis 17:55 The Aftermath of Psychosis 21:02 Finding Freedom in Movement 30:11 The Journey Through Psychosis 34:01 Spiritual Awakening and Healing 39:12 The Role of Love and Relationships in Recovery 43:10 Embodiment and Self-Connection 51:13 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life You can connect with Taylah using the links below: Instagram: @taylahkingmovement Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026  Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    55 min
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4.8
out of 5
94 Ratings

About

Behind the Smile is a mental health, recovery and personal growth podcast hosted by TEDx speaker and coach Ash Butterss. Exploring alcohol, addiction, sobriety, trauma and emotional wellbeing, it reveals the raw reality behind the facade of people's "perfect lives." After getting sober in 2020 and leaving corporate life, Ash now shares raw conversations, expert insights and powerful stories to help you heal, grow and reconnect with your true self. Expect honesty, practical tools and real talk that proves when we recover out loudly, no one has to suffer in silence. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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