You Are Not Crazy

Jessica Knight

You’re exhausted from over-functioning. Always managing the chaos. Always trying to keep the peace. You feel alone. Misunderstood. Like no one sees the full story—except you. You question yourself constantly. You wonder if you’re the problem. You’re not. This podcast helps you understand emotional abuse, coercive control, narcissistic relationships, and trauma bonds—so you can stop doubting yourself and start trusting what you already know. I’m Jessica Knight, emotional abuse coach and survivor. I help people make sense of confusing, destabilizing relationship dynamics—including gaslighting, manipulation, intermittent reinforcement, and post-separation abuse. Here, you’ll learn to recognize the patterns of narcissistic abuse, understand the psychology of trauma bonding, and rebuild your sense of clarity, stability, and self-trust. This podcast is especially for you if you are: • Leaving or recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship • Navigating divorce or post-separation coercive control • Trying to co-parent with a high-conflict or manipulative partner • Questioning your reality after gaslighting • Rebuilding yourself after psychological abuse You are not crazy. Your nervous system adapted to survive something real. This is your space to understand what happened, reclaim your truth, and heal—on your terms. 🖤 Learn more and find resources at www.emotionalabusecoach.com

  1. 1d ago

    It Shouldn't Feel This Confusing: Naming the Cycle of Abuse

    You know something is wrong, you just cannot name it yet.  In this episode, I walk through the cycle of abuse — tension building, explosion, reconciliation, and the illusion of calm — and explain why that cycle is exactly what keeps you hooked.  I break down what a trauma bond is, how intermittent reinforcement conditions your nervous system to crave the person who is hurting you, and why your confusion, your self-blame, and your inability to just leave are not weaknesses. They are conditioned responses to abuse.  I also share practical first steps for beginning to break the cycle, even if you are still inside the relationship — including how to tell yourself the truth privately, release the pattern of self-blame, and start choosing your own safety over someone else's comfort. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    16 min
  2. Jun 17

    When Love Feels Like a Hostage Situation

    If you have ever felt like you were walking on eggshells, apologizing for things that made no sense, or grieving a version of someone who seemed to disappear, this episode is for you. I am revisiting one of the most listened-to episodes BPD in romantic relationships with two more years of client work, research, and personal processing behind me. I break down what borderline personality disorder actually is, how it differs from Narcissism even when the lived experience feels nearly identical, and why the idealization-devaluation cycle is so disorienting to survive. I also cover the role of splitting, unstable self-image, and emotional dysregulation in driving the patterns you could never quite make sense of — and why no amount of reassurance was ever going to be enough. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    33 min
  3. Jun 10

    How Manipulators Use Words to Maintain Control

    I break down some of the most insidious and subtle ways abusers use language to dominate the narrative and erode your sense of reality. I walk you through five distinct patterns of weaponized communication: emotional manipulation disguised as vulnerability, defensiveness used as a silencing tool, blame-shifting hidden behind false equivalence, coercion dressed up as ultimatums, and silence deployed as punishment. Each example reveals the same underlying strategy — redirecting accountability, centering the abuser's discomfort, and leaving you questioning whether your own feelings are valid. If you've ever felt confused after a conversation you thought was reasonable, found yourself apologizing for simply expressing how you feel, or wondered whether you're the problem — this episode is for you. Because weaponized communication isn't poor communication. It's a strategy, and once you can see it, you can begin to break free from it. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    14 min
  4. Jun 3

    The Underpinning of All Abuse: Coercive Control with Dr. Christine Cocchiola

    Dr. Christine Cocchiola is back, and this conversation goes deep. Dr. Christine is a coercive control specialist, therapist, TEDx speaker, and author who trained under the godfather of coercive control, Dr. Evan Stark. In this episode, we get into what coercive control actually is: not a form of abuse, but the underpinning of all abuse. That distinction matters more than most people realize, especially inside a family court system that still does not know what to do with it. We talk about the emails that land on Saturday afternoon, right when you have the kids. We talk about why your therapist telling you that you have anxiety might be missing the point entirely. We talk about what it actually looks like when an abuser uses permissiveness to lure your children in, and what you can do about it without losing the connection you have worked so hard to protect. Dr. Christine's children's book, Every Moment of Every Day, is linked in the show notes. You can also find her at coercivecontrolconsulting.com and on Instagram at @drcocchiolacoercivecontrol. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    56 min
  5. May 27

    When Co-Parenting Becomes Coercive Control

    If you've ever felt like you're doing everything right — showing up, advocating, holding it together — and still somehow ending up as the problem, this episode is for you. Int his episode, I get honest about what it actually feels like to be in the cycle: the exhaustion of defending yourself against false narratives, the way every act of good parenting gets twisted into evidence against you, and the invisible toll of a system that wasn't designed to recognize coercive control.  So many protective parents are living through isn't just "a difficult co-parent." It's post-separation abuse — and it has a name. I break down how coercive control shows up after separation: the counter-parenting, the gotcha moments, the forced engagement loops, the way silence doesn't end the cycle — it just changes the channel.  I also talk candidly about my own experience navigating this, what keeping myself regulated actually looks like, and why being the safe parent is one of the heaviest gifts you can carry. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    25 min
  6. May 6

    How I Actually Healed (And Why It Didn't Look the Way I Expected)

    People ask me how I healed all the time, and the honest answer is that there is no clean framework I can hand you.  In this episode, I share the specific practices that actually made a difference for me — and they are not always the ones you would expect. I talk about why I stopped healing on everyone else's timeline, how I gave myself permission to grieve on a schedule as a single parent, and the journaling practice that helped me separate what was real from what had been distorted.  I also share why I stopped bringing my situation to my friends, what I did instead, and how I learned to stop outsourcing my recovery to other people's opinions. Your healing does not have to look like mine.  I hope something here helps you give yourself permission to do it in the way that you actually can. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    15 min

Ratings & Reviews

4.9
out of 5
12 Ratings

About

You’re exhausted from over-functioning. Always managing the chaos. Always trying to keep the peace. You feel alone. Misunderstood. Like no one sees the full story—except you. You question yourself constantly. You wonder if you’re the problem. You’re not. This podcast helps you understand emotional abuse, coercive control, narcissistic relationships, and trauma bonds—so you can stop doubting yourself and start trusting what you already know. I’m Jessica Knight, emotional abuse coach and survivor. I help people make sense of confusing, destabilizing relationship dynamics—including gaslighting, manipulation, intermittent reinforcement, and post-separation abuse. Here, you’ll learn to recognize the patterns of narcissistic abuse, understand the psychology of trauma bonding, and rebuild your sense of clarity, stability, and self-trust. This podcast is especially for you if you are: • Leaving or recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship • Navigating divorce or post-separation coercive control • Trying to co-parent with a high-conflict or manipulative partner • Questioning your reality after gaslighting • Rebuilding yourself after psychological abuse You are not crazy. Your nervous system adapted to survive something real. This is your space to understand what happened, reclaim your truth, and heal—on your terms. 🖤 Learn more and find resources at www.emotionalabusecoach.com

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