112 episodes
Love and Abuse Paul Colaianni
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- Health & Fitness
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4.9 • 75 Ratings
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Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of bad behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse gives you the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage.
You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint the specific toxic behaviors, such as narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse, before you are dragged into a game so deep you come out a shell of your former self.
Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook, an assessment and healing guide to help you evaluate the emotionally abusive and manipulative patterns in your relationship. Get the guide that will tell you exactly what's happening in your relationship over at loveandabuse.com.
Transcripts available upon request: https://loveandabuse.com/contact/
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How you describe the challenges in your relationship can reveal if youre being emotionally abused
The language you use to describe your relationship and how you're getting along with the other person says a lot. If you've ever wondered if you are the hurtful one or they are, the words you use can reveal just what role you play in the dynamic of an emotionally abusive relationship.
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Should you make a list of everything they're doing wrong and hand it to them?
What would happen if you decided to write them a loving, supportive letter outlining all of their hurtful behaviors in hopes they'll read it and finally realize they need to change?
Will it backfire on you? I talk about that in this episode. -
Avoid getting trapped into an emotional prison from which you can't escape
The cycle of high ups and deep downs in a relationship is like being trapped in an emotional prison. There are moments of freedom and happiness, followed by a constant underlying fear or worry of being trapped again.
The emotional prison is created by the manipulative and controlling behavior of the person who wants to keep the person in a disempowered state. This cycle of ups and downs often forms a trauma bond, where the person seeks love and support from the same person who is causing them emotional harm. -
What are the chances of an emotional abuser healing and the relationship surviving?
Sometimes an abusive relationship changes into a non-abusive one. Sometimes the abusive person has an epiphany and stops the behavior. Often that happens when the other person reaches their breaking point, which may be too late. But if there's still love, there's a chance. The questions are, what are the chances that the healing emotional abuser will stop the behaviors? And can the relationship heal?
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Why they don't stop hurting you when they see you hurting
Why do people who claim to care about us hurt us when they see that we're suffering? Shouldn't our suffering be enough for them to stop the behaviors? It's one of the most common questions I receive: If they really love me, why do they hurt me?
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When parents get involved in your difficult relationship
Dealing with a hurtful person is often hard enough. When they have hurtful parents, however, it gets even harder. Especially when you thought you had a somewhat good relationship with them. When their parents can't see their own child being hurtful toward you, you may not get the compassion and support you're looking for.
Customer Reviews
A life saver!
This podcast helped me understand toxic and emotionally abusive relationships and played a huge role in getting out of my toxic marriage. It was a lifesaver!
The podcast I have been waiting for
Wow. I have been separated from my husband for three years and have read and listened to all kinds of things to help make sense of what happened and what continues to happen (we have two children together). All of my reading helped, but this was the missing piece. I now understand much better how to change my language in order to communicate more effectively with my ex. Thank you so much.
Top notch
Everything about this podcast is AWESOME. I love the fact you have life experience not just a voice narrating the subject. Thank you!!
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