The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Kate Anthony, CPCC
  • 4.3 (24)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Weekly

On the Divorce Survival Guide Podcast we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go? Hosted by Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide.

  1. 4 days ago

    Episode 390: AI Armor: Using AI to Protect Yourself in a High-Conflict Divorce with Rina Rosewell

    Can AI help women protect themselves in a high-conflict divorce? Many women are already using it to respond to their exes, while others are cautious of it, worried their history could be subpoenaed. So I invited Rina Rosewell to the show to talk about some of the topics covered in her book, AI ARMOR: Your Digital Defense Solution for Coparenting with a Narcissist. Rina has thought deeply about how survivors can use AI well, and also where it can go wrong. Together, we talk about why so much of what we read online now sounds like AI, why a chatbot that tells people what they want to hear is a narcissist's dream, and how AI can make an abuser's messages sound smoother and more reasonable even though his actions don't change. Rina also shares the prompts she's created to help women step out of fear, respond strategically, and translate their experiences into what she calls "judgish," the language judges are more apt to respond to. Finally, we dig into the challenge of being authentic and strategic at the same time in court, which Rina calls the worst game of Twister ever. The bottom line is that AI can be a powerful ally for survivors, but only when they know how to use it well and understand its limits. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why a translator and copywriter, not a tech expert, was the right person to write a book about AI for survivors (2:24) How AI can help women practice for the questions they'll face in court or from a custody evaluator (17:31) What goes into Rina's two-page "Yellow Rock" prompt, and why most prompts fall flat (25:30) What survivors should know about discovery and confidentiality, and why fear of their ChatGPT history being used against them shouldn't keep women from getting help (31:04) How asking AI "Where am I going wrong?" can help sharpen critical thinking (36:09) Learn more about Rina Rosewell: Rina Rosewell knows what it's like when your ex turns every text message into a battlefield. As a CDC Certified Divorce Coach and High-Conflict Coach, she's spent years helping post-separation abuse survivors find their footing after leaving coercively controlling partners. She wrote AI ARMOR: Your Digital Defense Solution for Coparenting with a Narcissist to solve a real problem: what do you do at 2 a.m. when your ex sends another manipulative message and your brain shuts down? You use AI. Rina holds an MA in Advanced Language Skills with a thesis focused on judicial interpretation, and brings 20+ years of experience as a professional translator and copywriter. She understands better than most how language is used as both a weapon and a lifeline in high-conflict family court situations. She moderates a private local Facebook support community for moms, writes a weekly newsletter to inspire and empower victims of post-separation abuse, and works with clients across Canada and beyond. Resources & Links: Unbreakable Retreat The Divorce Strategy Toolkit Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Private Coaching Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan  Kate on Instagram Kate on Facebook Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Rina's website Rina's book, AI Armor Rina on Instagram Rina on LinkedIn The Narc Decoder, by Tina Swithin =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. ===================

    Episode 390: AI Armor: Using AI to Protect Yourself in a High-Conflict Divorce with Rina Rosewell

  2. 22 Oct

    Episode 389: Kate On: When You're the One Who Gets Left

    What happens when you're the one who gets left? More specifically, what happens when the end of your marriage comes with a level of betrayal you never imagined possible from the person you trusted most, the person you thought you were building a life with? A listener wrote about her own similar experience, and it made me realize how little attention we give this side of divorce on the show. So this week, I'm taking it on, and then some. Some women never wanted their marriages to end. They were planning a future while their husbands were quietly consulting attorneys, moving money, or carrying on affairs, all while insisting everything was fine. And sometimes the truth arrives at the precise moment a woman is least equipped to handle it.  In this solo episode, I take on how a husband who claims he wants things amicable can manufacture one emergency after another, and why early legal support matters so much when shock has a woman in survival mode. I also look at spousal support when the higher-earning wife was carrying the household too, and why what's legal, what's fair, and what's moral are not always the same thing.  What you'll hear about in this episode How "I just want this to be amicable" can mask an aggressive campaign, and why chaos becomes leverage What happens when a woman is left during a serious illness, and how differently we value women's caregiving versus men's Why spousal support exists, and what happens when the higher-earning wife was also doing most of the unpaid labor How earning capacity can come into play, and why legal fairness and lived fairness can feel worlds apart Why closure may never come from the person who caused the harm, and how to grieve without being rushed into an empowerment story Resources & Links: Unbreakable Retreat The Divorce Strategy Toolkit Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Private Coaching Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan  Kate on Instagram Kate on Facebook Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. ===================

    Episode 389: Kate On: When You're the One Who Gets Left

  3. 15 Oct

    Episode 388: It's Not About the Alcohol: Emotional Sobriety and Divorce with Colleen Freeland

    Today we're talking about drinking, emotional sobriety, and what both have to do with navigating divorce. I've shared my own sobriety journey on the show before, including how heavily I relied on alcohol to cope with trauma I didn't yet have the words to describe. At the time, drinking felt like the easiest way to get through it. Looking back, I wish I'd had better tools, and that's exactly why I wanted to have this conversation. My guest, Colleen Freeland, is an Intuitive Drinking Coach and host of the globally top-ranked It's Not About the Alcohol podcast. She founded Emotional Sobriety Coaching to help high-achieving professional women reduce their alcohol consumption by 80% without relying on willpower or deprivation. Her approach combines neuroscience, cognitive reframing, and spirituality to help women change their relationship with alcohol. She's also been through divorce twice, so she brings both professional expertise and personal experience to this conversation. Together, we unpack mommy wine culture and how drinking has become such a normalized response to the stress and overwhelm women experience. Colleen challenges the idea that overdrinking is about overindulgence, arguing instead that it's often a symptom of self-neglect. We explore what emotional sobriety actually looks like, how to distinguish fear from intuition, and why the emotional state we're in when making decisions about our marriages matters. And we talk about what happens when women stop numbing their feelings and start paying attention to what those feelings are telling them. As Colleen jokes, her future swag might just say, "Emotionally sober. Warning: May cause divorce." What you'll hear about in this episode When drinking shifts from something we do for enjoyment to something we rely on to manage stress, and how alcohol became "mommy's little helper" (4:32) What emotional sobriety really means and how to stop being intoxicated by our own emotions (11:40) Why quitting drinking doesn't automatically resolve shame, guilt, or perfectionism, and the emotional work that can remain (21:43) How unresolved patterns can follow us into new relationships, even after we've left an unhappy marriage (25:30) How to distinguish fear from intuition, and why intuition is an awareness rather than an immediate call to action (37:57) Learn more about Colleen Freeland: Colleen Freeland is an Intuitive Drinking Coach and host of the globally top-ranked It's Not About the Alcohol podcast. Colleen founded Emotional Sobriety Coaching© for high achieving professional women who want to reduce alcohol consumption by 80 percent. She combines holistic and evidence-based strategies in Neurophysiology, Cognitive Reframing, and Spirituality to reprogram the mind and body - so you actually prefer drinking in moderation. Colleen secretly struggled with Alcohol Use Disorder for over 20 years before discovering that the solution to overdrinking is to get happy, not sober. She is an Addiction and Recovery-Certified Master Life Coach with an MSc in Health Coaching, a BS in Biology and Chemistry Education, and is certified as a Women's Functional and Integrative Health Professional. Resources & Links: Unbreakable Retreat Private Coaching Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  The Divorce Strategy Toolkit Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan  Kate on Instagram Kate on Facebook Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Colleen's website Colleen on Instagram Colleen on TikTok  Colleen on YouTube Colleen on Facebook =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. ===================

    Episode 388: It's Not About the Alcohol: Emotional Sobriety and Divorce with Colleen Freeland

  4. 8 Oct

    Episode 387: Kate On: The Cornell Case, Male Violence, and the Limits of Empathy

    Content warning: This episode covers the Cornell 7 case and includes discussion of sexual assault, drugging, and how survivors are failed by the systems meant to protect them. "The conversation we should be having about the Cornell case isn't one about consent, it's one about entitlement."  I have been trying to figure out what I want to say about the Cornell case that hasn't already been said. I'm angry, obviously, but mostly I'm just so weary. We have watched women come forward, watched them be doubted and doxxed, and watched powerful men continue to be powerful. I don't want to record another episode explaining consent. That's 101. We know. And if knowing hasn't changed enough, then maybe knowledge isn't the problem. We've spent a really long time treating a power problem as an empathy problem, and it's not getting us anywhere.  Jane Doe alleges she was drugged and sexually assaulted by members of a Cornell fraternity in 2024, and one of the messages reportedly shared in the fraternity's Snapchat referred to her as "free p***y." In that phrase, she stops being a person and becomes something to be used.  This all points to a question feminism has been circling for as long as feminism has existed. Who gets access to women? Not only to our bodies, but to our time, our labor, our attention, and our care. I don't believe these frat guys didn't understand consent. I think they understood it perfectly well. What we're looking at is entitlement, and entitlement is about power.  In this solo episode, I talk about why women keep explaining our pain to people who already know, and why we keep selling women's freedom to men as something that's good for them too. Marriage is where so many of us see this play out most clearly. A woman spends years trying to get her husband to hear her, and the minute she asks for a divorce, he suddenly gets it. He always got it. What changed is that now it costs him something. And I think that's where feminism has to go next, from explaining to leveraging.  What you'll hear about in this episode Why the Cornell case feels so wearying after Anita Hill, Kavanaugh, Epstein, and Me Too What "free p***y" reveals about who is entitled to access women Why entitlement is a power problem and education is a distraction from it Zawn Villines on household labor and why the arrangement works perfectly well for him Liz Plank on how the manosphere turned male loneliness into a grievance against women Why women's freedom should be enough, without needing male buy-in The difference between giving women tools and mistaking those tools for liberation Resources & Links: Unbreakable Retreat Private Coaching Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  The Divorce Strategy Toolkit Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan  Kate on Instagram Kate on Facebook Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Liz Plank Zawn Villines =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. ===================

    Episode 387: Kate On: The Cornell Case, Male Violence, and the Limits of Empathy

  5. 1 Oct

    Episode 386: The Divorce Paperwork You Can't Afford to Forget with Marni Blank

    Today we're having a conversation that so many of us need to have but don't want to have, and that's end-of-life planning in the middle of a divorce. Divorce already comes with so many choices, and most of them feel urgent, so the paperwork that comes with planning for the end tends to fall through the cracks. But updating healthcare proxies, beneficiaries, and wills needs a place on that list too. My guest this week is here to help us feel a little more at ease and organized about all of it. Marni Blank is an End-of-Life & After-Loss Consultant and the founder of Begin With The End, a Brooklyn-based practice that helps people get their lives in order before a crisis forces the issue. Together, Marni and I walk through what actually needs updating, even in the thick of decision fatigue, from healthcare proxies and living wills to powers of attorney and guardianship. We also talk about why a spouse may still be the one making medical decisions if the divorce isn't final, and why naming an executor without asking first is a big ask. Doing this work now, while we're clear-headed, means we're not scrambling in the middle of grief or a crisis later. What you'll hear about in this episode: Where to start with updating paperwork after divorce, the documents and accounts beyond the obvious ones, and why it's never just paperwork (2:59) The grief that comes with naming someone new as healthcare proxy after a spouse has held that role, and how to sit with that decision (3:57) Beneficiaries, wills, trusts, and the other pieces worth revisiting while going through divorce, not just after it's final (8:06) Why the people we choose for these roles need to be asked first, and what they're really signing up for (9:34) How to think about our digital life and legacy, from legacy contacts to changing passwords (19:06) Why so many newly divorced people don't want to think about the end when they're finally starting a new chapter, and why it's actually a good time to plan (23:23) Learn more about Marni Blank: Marni Blank is an End-of-Life & After-Loss Consultant and the founder of Begin With The End, a practice that helps people get their affairs, their digital lives, and their wishes in order so the people they love aren't left guessing. A former attorney and trained mediator with training as an end-of-life doula and after-loss specialist, Marni came to this work after her parents' own health issues showed her how much most families haven't thought through, even the organized ones. Her clients include solo agers, sandwich-generation caregivers, people newly divorced or widowed, and executors working through an estate. She regularly speaks on topics related to death, dying and grief. Marni works virtually across the U.S. and in person around New York City. She writes The Hourglass, a weekly newsletter, and is the creator of the upcoming Plan Well Organizer, a guided system for getting your life documented in one place. She firmly believes that in order to live well today, we must plan well for tomorrow. She lives in Brooklyn with her labradoodle, Penny. Resources & Links: Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan  Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  The Divorce Strategy Toolkit Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Instagram Kate on Facebook Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Marni's website Marni on LinkedIn Marni on Instagram   Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

    Episode 386: The Divorce Paperwork You Can't Afford to Forget with Marni Blank

  6. 24 Sept

    Episode 385: Kate On: Why You Miss Him After You Leave

    "Why am I suddenly missing the person I worked so hard to leave?" A woman wrote to me recently with this question, and I know this is not an uncommon thing to feel. Many women know without a doubt they made the right decision. Yet, suddenly the desire to have the family back comes roaring back. In this episode, I'm unpacking why this happens, what might actually be driving it, and how to come back to the whole story when the heart is only showing part of it. Afterall, loneliness and grief are terrible historians.  Sometimes it's another layer of grief. Sometimes it's attachment after 20 or 30 years together. If the relationship ran on cycles of cruelty followed by tenderness, there may be a trauma bond at work. I break down intermittent reinforcement, why co-parenting makes a clean break so hard, and why 12 minutes of charm in a school parking lot shouldn't be used to reconsider 20 years of data. Missing someone is information about our emotional experience, not evidence that anything about the relationship has changed.  I hope this episode brings some perspective and clarity to a really confusing thing so many women feel. It's possible to build a life where pain doesn't have to be followed by reconciliation with the person who caused it. It's possible to miss someone and still choose yourself.  What you'll hear about in this episode: How intermittent reinforcement works and why the nervous system becomes so accustomed to the cycle Breaking the attachment when going no contact isn't possible because of co-parenting Why patterns tell us more than moments, and how to start spotting them What real change looks like when seriously considering reconciliation The grief that can't be felt until after leaving, and why it doesn't mean go back What to do when the romanticizing starts, from referencing data you placed in your notes app to creating a relationship reality document Resources & Links: Private Coaching Unbreakable Retreat Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan  Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  The Divorce Strategy Toolkit Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Instagram Kate on Facebook Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. ===================

    Episode 385: Kate On: Why You Miss Him After You Leave

  7. 17 Sept

    Episode 384: End Emotional Outsourcing with Beatriz Victoria Albina, NP

    There was a stretch of my life where I could not be alone. Not because I loved being social so much, but because without someone else in the room, I did not know who I was. No plans for the night meant a full blown panic attack. What was I supposed to do with myself? More importantly, who even was I? Turns out that is not just a me thing. It has a name, emotional outsourcing, and it is exactly what I dig into with my guest Beatriz (Béa) Victoria Albina, author of End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. She also hosts the Feminist Wellness Podcast, and from the first minute we hit record, it was clear this was going to be one of those conversations we could have kept going all day. We get into emotional outsourcing, the term Béa uses for the codependent, people-pleasing, and perfectionist habits so many of us learned as survival strategies. We also talk about how somatic work actually changes us, instead of just helping us understand our patterns intellectually. And if you are Gen X or a Xennial, this is your bonus round. Somewhere around the Mac LE2 and Saved by the Bell, we take a short detour into nostalgia.  What you'll hear about in this episode: What emotional outsourcing actually is, and why Béa uses it as the catch-all term underneath codependency, people-pleasing, and perfectionism (5:19) Using TV and movies as a mirror for healthy relating, and why even a show as savage as Veep can retrain your brain to recognize what it's missing (10:52) How Béa defines the differences between codependency, people-pleasing, and perfectionism, and why they are survival habits, not character flaws (23:50) Why knowing your patterns intellectually isn't the same as changing them, and how somatic experiencing helps your body believe a new story (20:24) The reticular activating system and the default mode network, the two brain regions that keep us running the same old stories until we interrupt them (25:47) Béa's "kitten steps" approach to rebuilding trust with yourself, starting as small as actually letting yourself pee when you have to pee (30:52) Learn more about Beatriz (Béa) Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP: Beatriz (Béa) Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP (she/her) is a UCSF-trained Family Nurse Practitioner, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Master Certified Somatic Life Coach, author of the bestselling "End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcoming Your Codependent, Perfectionist and People Pleasing Habits" and Breathwork Meditation Guide with a passion for helping humans socialized as women to reconnect with their bodies, regulate their nervous systems and rewire their minds, so they can break free from codependency, perfectionism and people pleasing and reclaim their joy.

    Episode 384: End Emotional Outsourcing with Beatriz Victoria Albina, NP

  8. 10 Sept

    Encore Episode: When You Give Up the Authentic Fight

    This week's episode is an encore episode. I'm away at my Unbreakable Retreat, so I'm revisiting one that felt right to bring back. I asked a friend who is going through a divorce what I should talk about on this episode. He said I should talk about cravings. He explained it this way, "Given the shit happening in the world, we turn to safety, fantasy, and imagination to numb our true selves and we give up the authentic fight." How beautiful is that? There is so much happening in the world right now. And my friend is right, we numb out as a way to escape. We numb with food, drinking, or shopping. When it comes to relationships, we numb out by fantasizing about other people, hoping they are the cure for a troubled marriage. Turning to other people, places, or things will not lead you to true fulfillment. Doing so simply covers up the pain, momentarily. Succumbing to cravings is giving up the authentic fight. What happens if you just sit still with all of the shit that is happening in your life? What if you gazed into all of your own holes and examined them for what they are? What if? What might be possible for your relationship, for your marriage, or most importantly, for you? That's what this episode is about. I hope you tune in. What You'll Hear About In This Episode: Why a marriage is not responsible for fulfilling you 100% Discernment work is so complex, but necessary The importance of recognizing your own 'made-up' stories and changing the narrative Links and Resources: Unbreakable Retreat Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan  Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  The Divorce Strategy Toolkit Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Instagram Kate on Facebook Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

    Encore Episode: When You Give Up the Authentic Fight
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Hosts & Guests

4.3
out of 5
24 Ratings

About

On the Divorce Survival Guide Podcast we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go? Hosted by Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide.

Information

  • Creator
    Kate Anthony, CPCC
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2026
  • Episodes
    399
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    ©2019-2025 Kate Anthony CPCC, all rights reserved
  • Show Website
    The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

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