Coming Inside OUT: An LGBTQ podcast uplifting gay fathers, men, and those exploring their sexuality.

Brian Janes and Mark Dembo

Coming Inside OUT is a heartfelt podcast where hosts Brian Janes and Mark Dembo create a safe space for gay fathers, men coming out later in life, and anyone exploring their identity within the LGBTQ+ community. Through candid conversations they explore the emotional journey of self-discovery, relationships, and the power of living authentically. Each episode dives into real stories of courage, healing, and connection—covering topics like mental health, therapy, mixed-orientation marriages, dating, fatherhood, and community support. Whether it’s navigating guilt and shame, celebrating Pride, or confronting societal challenges, Brian and Mark remind listeners that no one walks this path alone. ✨ It’s never too late to come home to yourself. Tune in for inspiration, solidarity, and a reminder that authenticity is not just freedom—it’s leadership. 📩 Contact: cominginsideout@gmail.com 🌈 #Gay #LGBTQPodcast #GayFathers #ComingOut #Authenticity #MentalHealth #Pride365 #LGBTQ #LoveIsLove Keywords: LGBTQ, coming out, relationships, gay parent, gay podcast, gay men, personal growth, gay fathers, pride,

  1. Gay Men: What You Were NEVER Taught About Bottoming (Dr. Evan Goldstein Explains)

    5 DAYS AGO

    Gay Men: What You Were NEVER Taught About Bottoming (Dr. Evan Goldstein Explains)

    What if everything you thought you knew about bottoming… was wrong? In this raw and eye-opening episode of Coming Inside OUT, we sit down with renowned surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein to break down the truth about a**l health, pleasure, and the realities gay men were never taught—especially those coming out later in life. From navigating shame and internalized stigma… to understanding your body, avoiding pain, and actually enjoying sex—this conversation goes where most never do. Whether you're new to bottoming, struggled with discomfort, or just want to feel more confident in your body, this episode delivers real answers without judgment. 💥 In This Episode: • The 3 types of a******s (and why it matters for sex) • Why “just relax” is terrible advice • How to avoid pain, tears, and common mistakes • The mental block most men don’t realize they have • Douching myths (and what actually works) • Why so many men feel like they’re “doing it wrong” • How to build confidence—at any age This is the conversation many of us wish we had years ago. Coming Inside OUT is a safe space where listeners can find solidarity, inspiration, and the courage to embrace their true selves. Whether you're a gay father, a parent, someone exploring your identity, or an ally seeking to better understand the LGBTQ+ experience, this podcast is for you. Tune in for heartfelt conversations, meaningful insight, and the sense of belonging we all crave. Join your hosts, Brian and Mark, as they candidly share their own journeys out of the closet while navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood as openly gay fathers. In each episode, they connect with fellow gay dads—sharing real stories of resilience, growth, victories, and struggle. Together, they explore the complexities of sexuality across every stage of life—from teens to husbands to fathers—while building a supportive community for those still in the closet and reminding them they are not alone. Join us on this journey of love, acceptance, and authenticity. 📩 Contact: cominginsideout@gmail.com #gay #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtq #pride #gaymen #loveislove #gayfathers #gaydad #comingout keywords: gay relationships, coming out, trust, monogamy, gay community, personal stories, listener questions, LGBTQ+ @thefuturemethod @bespokesurgical @drevangoldstein

    1 hr
  2. Coming Out Gay Later in Life and Unpacking the Damage I Didn’t Know I Caused- Healing Journey

    21 APR

    Coming Out Gay Later in Life and Unpacking the Damage I Didn’t Know I Caused- Healing Journey

    This episode is raw, reflective, and deeply human. Brian opens up about a realization that hits years after coming out: you don’t just come out once—you keep coming out, over and over again. And sometimes, that means revisiting the past and facing the people you may have unintentionally hurt along the way. From painful conversations with family and friends, to questioning his own voice and purpose, Brian wrestles with a heavy question: “Who am I to be doing this podcast?” Mark grounds the conversation in perspective, reminding us that we make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time—and that growth often comes with hindsight. Together, they unpack: • The emotional aftershocks of coming out later in life • The tension between external validation vs. internal self-worth • How books like The Velvet Rage frame the journey from shame → validation → authenticity • The reality of modern dating: ghosting, rejection, and unexpected connection • Letting go of rigid “types” and discovering attraction in deeper, more meaningful ways This episode doesn’t offer perfect answers—because there aren’t any. Instead, it offers something more valuable: honesty, growth, and the reminder that you’re not alone in the mess of becoming who you truly are. Coming Inside OUT is a safe space where listeners can find solidarity, inspiration, and the courage to embrace their true selves. Whether you're a gay father, a parent, someone exploring your identity, or an ally seeking to better understand the LGBTQ+ experience, this podcast is for you. Tune in for heartfelt conversations, meaningful insight, and the sense of belonging we all crave. Join your hosts, Brian and Mark, as they candidly share their own journeys out of the closet while navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood as openly gay fathers. In each episode, they connect with fellow gay dads—sharing real stories of resilience, growth, victories, and struggle. Together, they explore the complexities of sexuality across every stage of life—from teens to husbands to fathers—while building a supportive community for those still in the closet and reminding them they are not alone. Join us on this journey of love, acceptance, and authenticity. 📩 Contact: cominginsideout@gmail.com #gay #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtq #pride #gaymen #loveislove #gayfathers #gaydad #comingout keywords: gay relationships, coming out, trust, monogamy, gay community, personal stories, listener questions, LGBTQ+

    47 min
  3. (Part 2) Letters from the Closet : Real Stories of Gay Men, Marriage, Desire, and Coming Out

    31 MAR

    (Part 2) Letters from the Closet : Real Stories of Gay Men, Marriage, Desire, and Coming Out

    In Part 2 of “Letters from the Closet,” Brian and Mark dive deeper into the powerful messages, questions, and confessions sent in by listeners around the world. From a 62-year-old man navigating a decades-long marriage while embracing his attraction to men, to others quietly questioning their identity in the middle of seemingly “perfect” lives—this episode highlights the many ways people experience coming out later in life. The conversation explores: What really defines a successful relationship—monogamous, open, or somewhere in between The emotional weight of living two lives and the moment it starts to crack Whether to come out to aging or dying parents—and how to navigate possible regret The very real risks of secrecy in the digital age, including blackmail and exposure The unexpected (and sometimes hilarious) signs of self-discovery—from jockstrap collections to Instagram algorithms that know you before you’re ready to admit it Brian and Mark also get personal—sharing their own ongoing discomforts, growth, and evolving perspectives around identity, attraction, and belonging (including what it really feels like to walk into a gay bar for the first time… or even the fiftieth). At its core, this episode is a reminder: There is no single “right” way to be gay, to come out, or to build a life that feels honest. But you are not alone in the questions. Coming Inside OUT is a safe space where listeners can find solidarity, inspiration, and the courage to embrace their true selves. Whether you're a gay father, a parent, someone exploring your identity, or an ally seeking to better understand the LGBTQ+ experience, this podcast is for you. Tune in for heartfelt conversations, meaningful insight, and the sense of belonging we all crave. Join your hosts, Brian and Mark, as they candidly share their own journeys out of the closet while navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood as openly gay fathers. In each episode, they connect with fellow gay dads—sharing real stories of resilience, growth, victories, and struggle. Together, they explore the complexities of sexuality across every stage of life—from teens to husbands to fathers—while building a supportive community for those still in the closet and reminding them they are not alone. Join us on this journey of love, acceptance, and authenticity. 📩 Contact: cominginsideout@gmail.com #gay #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtq #pride #gaymen #loveislove #gayfathers #gaydad #comingout keywords: gay relationships, coming out, trust, monogamy, gay community, personal stories, listener questions, LGBTQ+

    44 min
  4. Letters From the Closet: Real Questions About Coming Out Gay and Risking Everything

    19 MAR

    Letters From the Closet: Real Questions About Coming Out Gay and Risking Everything

    In this powerful “Ask Us Anything” episode of Coming Inside OUT, Brian Janes and Mark Dembo read and respond to deeply personal letters from men navigating the reality of questioning their sexuality later in life. These aren’t hypothetical questions—they’re real stories from husbands and fathers wrestling with fears that feel impossible to face alone. What if coming out destroys my family? What if I’m wrong? Where do I even start? Will I lose my kids? How do I keep living while hiding this truth? Brian and Mark speak directly to these fears with honesty, compassion, and lived experience. They open up about the guilt of potentially hurting loved ones, the emotional toll of living a double life, and the courage it takes to take even the smallest step toward truth. They also share practical guidance on finding support, exploring your identity safely, and moving forward at your own pace—without blowing up your life overnight. If you’ve ever felt alone in these questions, this episode is a reminder: you’re not the only one asking them—and there is a path forward. Coming inside OUT is a safe space where listeners can find solidarity, inspiration, and the courage to embrace their true selves. Whether you're a gay father, gay parent, a person exploring your identity, or an ally seeking to understand the experiences of the LGBTQ community, this podcast is for you. Tune in for heartfelt conversations, insight and a sense of belonging that we all crave. Join your hosts, Brian and Mark, as they candidly share their own journeys out of the closet while navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood as openly gay fathers. Contact us at cominginsideout@gmail.com #gay #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtq #pride #gaymen #loveislove #gayfathers #gaydad #comingoutstory Keywords: coming out later in life, closeted dad, gay after marriage, questioning sexuality midlife, married man questioning sexuality, coming out with kids, late in life coming out gay, fear of coming out

    53 min
  5. Gay, Growing, and Grounded Fathers - From the Closet to the Light. Authenticity & Fatherhood

    3 MAR

    Gay, Growing, and Grounded Fathers - From the Closet to the Light. Authenticity & Fatherhood

    In this episode of Coming Inside Out, Mark and Brian sit down with friend and Gay Fathers Worldwide member Dan for something a little different — less formal interview, more honest conversation between three gay dads navigating life after coming out. Dan shares the highlight reel of his journey: coming out later in life, fatherhood intersecting with identity, navigating cancer and personal awakening, and what surprised him most about stepping into authenticity. His story becomes the jumping-off point for a broader, candid discussion about what it really looks like to rebuild a life in the light. This episode also launches a new segment: Ask Us Anything – Each of us poses a question to the group, reflecting on what surprised us about gay culture, what we’re still figuring out, and how fatherhood shapes the men we are today. Together, we explore shame vs. guilt, boundaries vs. belonging, chosen family, male friendship later in life, and the ongoing work of becoming the man you once wished you could be. As Dan says, “I am the man I wished to become.” This is a conversation about growth, integrity, and learning to live openly — not perfectly, but honestly. Coming inside OUT is a safe space where listeners can find solidarity, inspiration, and the courage to embrace their true selves. Whether you're a gay father, gay parent, a person exploring your identity, or an ally seeking to understand the experiences of the LGBTQ community, this podcast is for you. Tune in for heartfelt conversations, insight and a sense of belonging that we all crave. Join your hosts, Brian and Mark, as they candidly share their own journeys out of the closet while navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood as openly gay fathers. Contact us at cominginsideout@gmail.com #gay #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtq #pride #gaymen #loveislove #gayfathers #gaydad #comingoutstory Keywords: coming out, LGBTQ+ journey, community, family, authenticity, personal growth, gay community, mental health, self-acceptance Takeaways: Authenticity leads to a fulfilling life and stronger relationships Community and support are vital for LGBTQ+ individuals Setting boundaries helps protect private life and mental health Living in the light reduces shame and guilt Sharing joy and celebration should be done thoughtfully

    1hr 5min
  6. Gay, Growing & Grounded Fathers - The Gay Sex Coach Part 2: Building Relationships That Actually Work

    17 FEB

    Gay, Growing & Grounded Fathers - The Gay Sex Coach Part 2: Building Relationships That Actually Work

    In Part Two of our conversation with The Gay Sex Coach, Allen Marion, we move beyond awareness and into integration — exploring what it actually takes to build emotionally mature, intentional relationships as gay men. Brian, Mark, and Allen unpack the difference between chemistry and compatibility, and how unresolved shame, attachment wounds, and past conditioning can quietly shape who we pursue and why. The conversation examines emotional expectations in dating, the pressure of response times, and the importance of honoring your own pace rather than reacting from anxiety or scarcity. They dive deeper into vulnerability — not as oversharing, but as emotional honesty rooted in self-awareness. What does it mean to communicate your needs clearly? How do you sit with ambiguity without spiraling? And how do you stop performing and start relating? Part Two also explores boundaries in monogamous and non-monogamous dynamics, navigating relationships with partnered men, and understanding the emotional weight that casual connections can carry. The idea of intentionality returns as a central theme — encouraging listeners to slow down, reflect before reacting, and build a relationship structure that is consciously chosen rather than unconsciously inherited. At its core, this episode challenges gay men to move from reactive dating patterns to empowered relational choices — grounded in clarity, confidence, and emotional responsibility. Coming inside OUT is a safe space where listeners can find solidarity, inspiration, and the courage to embrace their true selves. Whether you're a gay father, gay parent, a person exploring your identity, or an ally seeking to understand the experiences of the LGBTQ community, this podcast is for you. Tune in for heartfelt conversations, insight and a sense of belonging that we all crave. Join your hosts, Brian and Mark, as they candidly share their own journeys out of the closet while navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood as openly gay fathers. In each episode, Mark and Brian connect with fellow gay dads, sharing their inspiring stories, victories, and struggles. They delve into the complexities of grappling with sexuality, discussing their experiences as teens, husbands, and dads. Together, they aim to foster a supportive community for those still in the closet, reassuring them that they are not alone in their journey. Join us on this journey of love, acceptance, and authenticity! Contact us at cominginsideout@gmail.com #gay #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtq #pride #gaymen #loveislove #gayfathers #gaydad #comingoutstory #TheGaySexCoach Keywords: gay men, sexual power, relational power, religious upbringing, shame, guilt, self-sabotage, sexual exploration, monogamy, communication, authenticity, dating apps, ghosting, emotional expectations, response times, intentionality, masturbation, relationship rules, body image, self-perception, fuck buddies Takeaways: Helping gay men reclaim their sexual and relational power is crucial. Religious backgrounds often instill shame around sexuality. Minority stress affects the mental health of gay individuals. Shame and guilt can persist even after coming out. Self-sabotage manifests in various ways in relationships. Letting go of past conditioning is essential for authenticity. Exploring sexual identity requires understanding one's desires. Finding community can be challenging for gay men in small towns. Communication is key in defining relationship boundaries. Masturbation should be normalized in relationships. Apps can provide access to community but should be used intentionally. Understanding your feelings before using dating apps is crucial. Response times on dating apps vary; it's important to honor your own pace. Being comfortable with ambiguity can alleviate pressure in dating.

    43 min
  7. Gay, Growing, and Grounded Fathers -The Gay Sex Coach: Sex and Relationships: Part One

    10 FEB

    Gay, Growing, and Grounded Fathers -The Gay Sex Coach: Sex and Relationships: Part One

    Welcome to Part One of a powerful and deeply honest conversation with The Gay Sex Coach, Allen Marion. In this episode, Brian Janes and Mark Dembo dive into what it truly means for gay men to reclaim their sexual and relational power—especially after years of shame, guilt, and conditioning rooted in religious upbringing and minority stress. Together, they explore how shame compounds over time, often lingering long after coming out, and how it quietly fuels self-sabotage in dating, intimacy, and relationships. The conversation unpacks the complexities of sexual exploration, monogamy, and non-monogamy, while emphasizing the importance of slowing down, getting clear on personal desires, and letting go of heteronormative rules that no longer serve. Brian, Mark, and Allen also examine the realities of dating apps—ghosting, response times, emotional expectations, and intentionality—and why understanding your own emotional state before engaging online is crucial. They discuss the role of masturbation in relationships, normalizing it as a healthy form of self-connection rather than a taboo, and introduce the idea of a “relationship rule book” to prevent misunderstandings and unmet expectations. Throughout the episode, body image, self-perception, and the dynamics of casual sex and fuck buddies are addressed with nuance and compassion. At its core, this conversation is about authenticity: learning to communicate honestly, sit with ambiguity, and build connections rooted in self-acceptance rather than fear or performance. This episode sets the foundation for deeper exploration in Part Two—inviting listeners to reflect, unlearn, and reclaim their power with intention. Coming inside OUT is a safe space where listeners can find solidarity, inspiration, and the courage to embrace their true selves. Whether you're a gay father, gay parent, a person exploring your identity, or an ally seeking to understand the experiences of the LGBTQ community, this podcast is for you. Tune in for heartfelt conversations, insight and a sense of belonging that we all crave. Join your hosts, Brian and Mark, as they candidly share their own journeys out of the closet while navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood as openly gay fathers. In each episode, Mark and Brian connect with fellow gay dads, sharing their inspiring stories, victories, and struggles. They delve into the complexities of grappling with sexuality, discussing their experiences as teens, husbands, and dads. Together, they aim to foster a supportive community for those still in the closet, reassuring them that they are not alone in their journey. Join us on this journey of love, acceptance, and authenticity! Contact us at cominginsideout@gmail.com #gay #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtq #pride #gaymen #loveislove #gayfathers #gaydad #comingoutstory #TheGaySexCoach Keywords: gay men, sexual power, relational power, religious upbringing, shame, guilt, self-sabotage, sexual exploration, monogamy, communication, authenticity, dating apps, ghosting, emotional expectations, response times, intentionality, masturbation, relationship rules, body image, self-perception, fuck buddies Takeaways: Helping gay men reclaim their sexual and relational power is crucial. Religious backgrounds often instill shame around sexuality. Minority stress affects the mental health of gay individuals. Shame and guilt can persist even after coming out. Self-sabotage manifests in various ways in relationships. Letting go of past conditioning is essential for authenticity. Exploring sexual identity requires understanding one's desires. Finding community can be challenging for gay men in small towns. Communication is key in defining relationship boundaries. Masturbation should be normalized in relationships. Apps can provide access to community but should be used intentionally.

    46 min
  8. Gay, Growing, and Grounded Fathers — Coming Out Didn’t End My Story: What Changes Afterward.

    27 JAN

    Gay, Growing, and Grounded Fathers — Coming Out Didn’t End My Story: What Changes Afterward.

    In this episode, Mark and Brian sit with the emotional weight of the moment— politics, social media, and the constant hum of bad news and talk honestly about how it all lands in the body. They explore the unique need for community among gay fathers, especially for men coming out later in life, and the quiet courage it takes to rebuild relationships while staying emotionally present. The conversation moves through gratitude, burnout, and the freedom that comes with raising personal standards—both in relationships and in how we show up for ourselves. Mark and Brian reflect on the reality that coming out isn’t a finish line but the beginning of a new chapter, one shaped by timing, self-compassion, and the willingness to feel everything—even the hard parts. This episode is a reminder that you’re not behind, you’re not broken, and you don’t have to carry it all alone. Joy still exists in small moments. Community still matters. And it’s okay to step back, breathe, and honor exactly where you are. Coming inside OUT is a safe space where listeners can find solidarity, inspiration, and the courage to embrace their true selves. Whether you're a gay father, gay parent, a person exploring your identity, or an ally seeking to understand the experiences of the LGBTQ community, this podcast is for you. Tune in for heartfelt conversations, insight and a sense of belonging that we all crave. Join your hosts, Brian and Mark, as they candidly share their own journeys out of the closet while navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood as openly gay fathers. In each episode, Mark and Brian connect with fellow gay dads, sharing their inspiring stories, victories, and struggles. They delve into the complexities of grappling with sexuality, discussing their experiences as teens, husbands, and dads. Together, they aim to foster a supportive community for those still in the closet, reassuring them that they are not alone in their journey. Join us on this journey of love, acceptance, and authenticity! Contact us at cominginsideout@gmail.com #gay #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtq #pride #gaymen #loveislove #gayfathers #gaydad #comingoutstory Takeaways: Emotional saturation from current events can be overwhelming. Community support is vital for gay fathers. Finding joy in small moments is essential for mental health. It's important to raise personal standards in relationships. Gratitude can shift perspective on life circumstances. Acknowledging feelings is crucial for emotional well-being. Coming out is just the beginning of a new journey. Timing in coming out is unique to each individual. Relationships may shift after coming out, and that's natural. It's okay to take a break from social obligations. Keywords: LGBTQ+, coming out, gay fathers, emotional health, community, social media, political climate, gratitude, relationships, personal growth

    46 min

About

Coming Inside OUT is a heartfelt podcast where hosts Brian Janes and Mark Dembo create a safe space for gay fathers, men coming out later in life, and anyone exploring their identity within the LGBTQ+ community. Through candid conversations they explore the emotional journey of self-discovery, relationships, and the power of living authentically. Each episode dives into real stories of courage, healing, and connection—covering topics like mental health, therapy, mixed-orientation marriages, dating, fatherhood, and community support. Whether it’s navigating guilt and shame, celebrating Pride, or confronting societal challenges, Brian and Mark remind listeners that no one walks this path alone. ✨ It’s never too late to come home to yourself. Tune in for inspiration, solidarity, and a reminder that authenticity is not just freedom—it’s leadership. 📩 Contact: cominginsideout@gmail.com 🌈 #Gay #LGBTQPodcast #GayFathers #ComingOut #Authenticity #MentalHealth #Pride365 #LGBTQ #LoveIsLove Keywords: LGBTQ, coming out, relationships, gay parent, gay podcast, gay men, personal growth, gay fathers, pride,

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