The Divorce Course Podcast

Laura & Lyn
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The Divorce Course Podcast is hosted by mother–daughter duo Laura Furiosi and family law specialist Lyn Galvin. Together, they break down the complex world of separation and divorce into clear, practical, and empowering conversations. From property settlements and parenting arrangements to dealing with difficult exes, finances, and family court, the podcast gives listeners the knowledge, tools, and confidence to navigate divorce without feeling lost or alone.

  1. hace 2 días

    Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship: How to Tell the Difference

    Listen to this episode if… You keep asking yourself "is it me, or are they controlling?" The examples online always sound more extreme than what you're living You're walking on eggshells but second-guessing whether you're allowed to feel that way You've been told to "just set boundaries" but it only seems to make things worse You want to understand coercive control from both a psychological and a family-law angle Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Warning This is general education – not legal advice or a psychological diagnosis. It discusses coercive control and abuse. If you're in danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14. Episode Summary "Is it me, or are they controlling?" That question ran under almost every message you sent in – so we turned it into a six-part series, and this is Part 1. Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer the one nearly everyone asked: is this really coercive control? Krasi shares her three Ds (disrespect, disempowerment, distortion), explains why coercive control is a pattern and a function rather than a list of behaviours, and how good qualities like compromise and empathy get weaponised. Lyn explains how family law treats coercive control differently from the criminal courts. 00:00 – Is It Me, or Are They Controlling? 03:30 – What Best Illustrates Coercive Control?  04:30 – The Restaurant Metaphor: Pattern, Not a Checklist 06:00 – The 3 Ds: Disrespect, Disempowerment, Distortion 07:30 – Psychology vs Family Law: Section 4AB 09:00 – Family Court vs Criminal Court: Different Tests 10:00 – When You Lose Sight of What's Reasonable  12:00 – How Compromise & Empathy Get Weaponised 13:00 – When Your Ex Wasn't As "Extreme" as the Examples  16:00 – Is Anger & Yelling Coercive Control?  18:00 – Can It Exist Without Financial Control? 19:00 – Repeated Pressure & Monopolised Decisions ( 22:00 – Stonewalling, Delay & Deflection  25:30 – The PA Dynamic & Exploitation  28:00 – Needy or Controlling? How to Tell the Difference 30:00 – Blame-Shifting, DARVO & Perspecticide 33:00 – Infidelity, Guilt & Trying to Leave  39:00 – Silent Treatment as Punishment  43:00 – Why He Does Less When You're Sick  45:00 – Emotional Abuse vs Coercive Control 47:30 – Can the Main Breadwinner Be Controlled? 53:00 – Why Do They Do It? Can Survivors Heal?  58:00 – The Anxious, Controlling Attachment Style &  Have Your Say – Krasi's Conference Call-Out 📌 Have your say: Krasi is presenting on coercive control at the Australian National Psychology Conference. Share what you wish psychologists and therapists understood – anonymously, with optional audio. Link in the show notes. Entry form  https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2  Resources The 3 Ds of Coercive Control – the deep-dive episode with Krasi.https://youtu.be/bRmLZBRs--o?si=YZ1951oDofDe_lw7 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000 Section 4AB, Family Law Act 1975 – definition of family violence Guest: Krasi Kirova, Clinical Psychologist If this helped you start to name what you've been living, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find it too.

    1 h 1 min

  2. 22 jun

    Survival Mode in Divorce: 3 Anchors to Steady Yourself

    Listen to this episode if… You feel like you're just reacting to whatever your ex or their lawyer throws at you You're exhausted, foggy, and making life-changing decisions while running on empty You can't tell anymore whether your choices come from your intuition or from fear You find it hard to speak up for yourself in mediation, in court, or even to your own lawyer You've lost a bit of yourself and want practical ways to feel grounded again You want to move from just surviving your divorce to actually flourishing through it This podcast is general information only  it is not legal advice. This episode touches on coercive control and post-separation abuse. If you or someone you know is in danger, call 000. For confidential support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). If you're feeling stuck in survival mode reacting to every email, every legal letter, every move your ex makes this episode is the deep breath you've been needing. Laura is joined by Sonia Bestulic, award-winning author, speaker and wisdom teacher, whose book Flourish for Mums found Laura right in the middle of her own divorce. Together they unpack what survival mode actually is, why so many of us get stuck in it, and how to gently move out of it. 00:00 – Are You Stuck in Survival Mode During Your Divorce? 01:00 – Meet Sonia Bestulic: Author, Speaker & Wisdom Teacher 03:50 – "I Just Burnt Out": How Survival Mode Shows Up 05:30 – Why Your Mindset Can Affect Your Case as Much as the Law 07:00 – What Survival Mode Really Is (Fight, Flight, Freeze) 08:00 – The Lion Metaphor: A Fuel System Built for Short Bursts 09:30 – The Warning Signs You've Been in Survival Mode Too Long 10:50 – When Post-Separation Abuse Is Designed to Exhaust You 11:40 – The Three Anchors & Building Your Support Team 12:40 – Anchor One: Nourishing Your Intuition (Your Sacred GPS) 14:50 – Coercive Control & Learning to Trust Yourself Again 15:40 – The Morning Body Scan: 15 Minutes That Reset Your Day 18:30 – How to Tell the Difference Between Fear and Intuition 21:30 – Anchor Two: Energetic Integrity & Energy Hygiene 23:30 – Inner Boundaries: What's Mine to Carry and What's Theirs? 25:30 – Choosing When to Read That Email From Your Ex 26:40 – The Power of Nature to Recalibrate Your Nervous System 28:50 – Gratitude: The Highest-Frequency Circuit Breaker 30:00 – The Gratitude Candle & the Kindness Squirrel 32:50 – Anchor Three: Sacred Self-Advocacy 34:50 – Speaking Your Truth Without the Fight Energy 36:40 – Why Energy Speaks First (Even in the Witness Box) 40:40 – Daily Practices: Dance, Laughter, Music & Breath 43:50 – The Cup of Gratitude Ritual 45:40 – The Roots Metaphor: The Deeper the Roots, the Taller We Grow 48:40 – The One Thing You Can Start Today 49:50 – Where to Find Sonia & Her Books   1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) Lifeline — 13 11 14 Police — 000 (immediate danger) The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au The Divorce Course Empowerment Playlist — on Spotify Sonia Bestulic — books Flourish for Mums and Raising Empowered Humans: Unlocking Kids' Self-Leadership and Lifelong Flourishing (Amazon, global delivery). https://soniabestulic.com.au/

    51 min

  3. 17 jun

    7 Banking Myths That Are Costing You in Separation

    🎧 Listen if… - You've been told you "can't touch anything" until property settlement is finalised - You're scared opening your own account will start a fight - You're watching money vanish from the joint account and can't stop it - You're the lower earner, worried about being left with nothing while you wait - You're paying for everything and scared of being called financially abusive if you stop - You've got a kids' savings or education account and don't know where it fits Disclaimer: General information and education only, not legal advice. Please consult a family lawyer about your situation. 🛟 Discusses financial abuse & coercive control. Can you really not touch any money until property settlement? Mum and I unpack what you can and can't do with your bank accounts after separation: the difference between managing day-to-day finances and dividing property, what happens to accounts in your own name versus joint accounts, and how to handle it whether your ex is amicable, high conflict, or controlling. We cover opening a new account, freezing joint accounts, what to do if it's emptied, kids' accounts, child support myths, and the warning signs of financial abuse. ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 – Banking Through Separation: The Questions Everyone's Afraid to Ask 02:00 – Education Only & Why Your Lawyer Comes First 03:00 – The Two Big Myths: "Freeze Everything" vs "Take Everything" 03:30 – Power Dynamics & Who Makes the Early Money Decisions 04:00 – Managing Day-to-Day Finances vs Dividing Property 05:30 – What Happens to Your Bank Accounts When You Separate 06:00 – "It's Yours": Accounts in Your Own Name 07:00 – Joint Accounts & Why You Can Take Your Share 09:30 – Amicable Divorce: Take It, Then Tell Them 11:00 – High Conflict: Don't Stay Beholden to Your Ex 12:30 – Manipulative & Controlling Exes & the Groceries Analogy 13:30 – Is Taking the Money Financial Abuse? Section 4AB Explained 14:00 – Spousal Maintenance & the Joint-Account "Time Bomb" 15:30 – Post-Separation Spending, Wastage & Gollings & Scott 17:30 – Opening Your Own Bank Account (Yes, You Can) 18:30 – Why You Should Choose a Completely Different Bank 20:30 – "Will My Ex Find Out?" Tech Abuse, Passwords & Disclosure 22:30 – Where Should Your Wages Go? 23:00 – Coming Up: A Coercive Control Q&A With Krazi Kirova 23:30 – When Your Ex Won't Move Out or Pay the Bills 24:30 – Reasonableness & How a Judge Will See It 26:00 – Giving Notice, Justifying It & Part N of the Financial Statement 27:00 – The Two People This Goes Badly For 28:30 – Talking to the Bank & Their Limits 29:00 – How to Freeze a Joint Account (Two to Sign) 31:00 – Stopping Large Withdrawals & ATM Limits 32:00 – When the Account Gets Emptied: Spousal Maintenance Options 33:00 – Urgent Spousal Maintenance Orders Explained 35:00 – Protect vs Punish: Two Money Mindsets in Divorce 36:00 – Homework: Talk to Your Bank Anonymously 37:30 – Splitting the Cash 50/50: Does It Lock In Your Settlement? 39:00 – How to Document It (A Text Message Is Enough) 40:30 – Kids' Bank Accounts: Who Controls Them? 41:30 – Splitting Kids' Accounts & Trustee Options 42:30 – Using the Kids' Money to Live On (If You Have To) 43:30 – Kids' Accounts Are Part of the Property Pool & Disclosure 44:00 – Child Support Myths: The "Every Dollar for the Kids" Trap 45:30 – The "Basket of Goods" Approach & Living to Your Means 47:30 – Warning Signs of Financial Abuse 49:30 – Real-Time Spend Alerts, Passwords & Your Safety 50:45 – Day-to-Day Finances vs Property Settlement: The Recap 51:30 – Get on the Mailing List So You're Not Blindsided 52:00 – Final Homework: Go Open That New Bank Account 53:30 – Crochet Corner & Sign Off 54:30 – Commonwealth Bank Next Chapter & Banking Support 🎧 EPISODES  Technology Abuse / Tech Safety – passwords, devices & safety checklist: https://youtu.be/rc8b27R_k9k Balancing the Power Dynamic – when one party stalls while the other pushes for settlement: https://youtu.be/coWlWcIq180 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000 Web: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog Q&A questions: thedivorcecoursepodcast@gmail.com CommBank Next Chapter – financial abuse support. Helped you feel less stuck about your money? Follow, rate, review and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST

    55 min

  4. 10 jun

    Can Kids Decide Where They Live After Separation? How Children's Wishes Actually Count in Family Law

    🎧 Listen If… Your child has said they don't want to go to the other parent's house Your ex keeps saying "once they turn [a certain age] they can choose" You're worried your child is being pressured, coached, or caught in the middle You're hearing two completely different stories from your kids at handover You're amicable and thinking of just "letting the kids decide" (please listen first) You want to understand how children's views actually reach the court General information only not legal advice. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your situation.🛟 Discusses family violence & coercive control. In danger: 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. About This Episode Mum and I unpack what the Family Law Act actually how children's views really reach a judge (family reports, child impact reports, ICLs), and how kids' wishes play out across the four divorce personality types.  ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With?  02:00 Why the Family Court Won't Ask Kids to Choose  06:27 The Best Interests of the Child Test (Section 60CC)  09:06 What Age Can a Child Decide Where to Live? 11:34 How a Child's Wishes Are Actually Heard in Family Law  13:25 Child-Inclusive Mediation Explained  15:22 Therapy, Family Reports & Expert Evidence  19:48 How to Get a Family Report Outside of Court  22:35 How Family Violence Changes Parenting Decisions  27:22 2024 Family Law Reforms & Common Custody Myths  28:29 Can You Force a Teenager to Follow Parenting Orders?  31:58 The Reality of Enforcing Orders With Teens  33:03 How to Future-Proof Your Parenting Orders  34:03 Why Older Teens Have More Say in Where They Live  34:35 The Manipulative & Controlling Ex: Hidden Motives  36:42 How to Spot Coercion & Coaching Tactics  39:04 Love Bombing, Bribery & When the Mask Slips  41:54 High-Conflict Exes: Kids Caught in the Middle  45:20 The Avoidant Parent & Parentification  49:02 Amicable Co-Parents: Why You Still Shouldn't Let Kids Decide  51:07 Key Takeaways: Voice Heard, Not Decision Made  54:43 Closing Notes & Legal Disclaimer 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Decoding the Child's Best Interests Referenced when discussing the full 60CC best-interests factors https://youtu.be/k4-QTbfW8XM?si=4ltIq0y0ceoMQWym Child-Inclusive Mediation Referenced when discussing how children's views are gathered out of court. https://youtu.be/HrEU6dFc0Ko?si=xvSAyfnMJ9oEfXnN Handover Hell – When Your Child Refuses to Go Referenced at the end for listeners dealing with handover-day resistance https://youtu.be/YphzOPZmC3k?si=Wf1RwzJMf-ix4N4K Support & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732  |  Lifeline 13 11 14  |  Police 000 The Divorce Course → https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au If this helped, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side

    55 min

  5. 3 jun

    When & How Can You Make a Settlement Offer in Divorce for Parenting or Property - Step by Step

    🎧 Listen if you're wondering when you can make an offer, you've received one that floored you, you feel pressured to "be the reasonable one," your ex is high-conflict or controlling, or you've been told you have to go to mediation first. ⚠️ General information only, not legal advice Australian family law. Always consult a family lawyer. 🛟 Discusses coercive control & legal/financial abuse.  Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – What Is an Offer in a Divorce?  01:50 – What an Offer Really Is (and What Counteroffers Are) 02:30 – Do You Need a Lawyer to Make an Offer? 03:30 – Why Emotional, People-Pleasing Offers Backfire 04:30 – What You Need Before You Make an Offer: Your Property Pool 05:00 – Future Needs, Super vs Cash  06:00 – Knowing What You're Giving Up With Eyes Wide Open 07:00 – Rushed & Blindsided Offers: 08:00 –  Buying Time Before You Agree 09:00 – Can You Get Out of Something You Signed Under Pressure? 10:30 – When Can You Make an Offer? Anytime You're Informed 12:30 – The Best Time to Make Your First Offer & Saving Legal Fees 13:50 – The Mediation Myth: You Don't Have to Go 15:40 – Why People Only Get Realistic at Mediation 17:00 – Time-Limited Offers: Pressure, Deadlines & the Downside 20:00 – Standing Offers:  22:00 – Do Offers Work in Parenting  24:30 – Calderbank Offers & Section 114UB Explained 25:50 – Offer Strategy for an Avoidant Ex 28:30 – Offer Strategy for a High-Conflict "Yeah, But" Ex 31:20 – Offer Strategy for an Amicable Ex & Collaborative Law 36:20 – Can You Offer Directly to Your Ex While Lawyers Are Engaged? 37:00 – Making Offers to a Narcissistic or Controlling Ex 39:00 – Don't Feed the Reaction: Grey Rock & Shuttle Negotiation 41:50 – What to Do When You Get a Bad Offer 42:50 – Ambit Claims & the Central Practice Direction 44:00 – Ask for the Authorities: Turning a Bad Offer to Your Advantage 46:30 – The Consequences of Refusing a Reasonable Offer 48:50 – Genuine Steps, Compulsory Offers & Costs Protection 50:00 – Why Offers Stay Hidden From the Judge Until the End     Calderbank Offers & Costs —    • Costs, Family Court and Calderbank Offers ...   Can You Really Mediate With a Narcissist? —    • Mediation and negotiation tips for divorci...     — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Enrol (DIY Divorce Blueprint, AU) — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol

    56 min

  6. 25 may

    Do I really need a lawyer for my Divorce or DeFacto Separation?

    🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're wondering if you actually need a lawyer for your divorce at all You're worried that spending too much now means you can't afford court later You're scared that "lawyering up" will make your ex worse You think it's all-or-nothing and want to know the middle ground Your ex is high-conflict, avoidant, controlling, or amicable and you need a strategy that fits ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. It reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. Laws may have changed since recording. Most people think there are only two options when it comes to lawyers in a divorce hand everything over, or go it completely alone. But that's not the truth, and believing it can cost you thousands. In this episode, Laura and Lyn break down the three ways you can actually use a lawyer. Then they get into what nobody talks about how your divorce personality type should completely change how you use a lawyer. A manipulative and controlling ex who runs up your fees needs a very different strategy to an avoidant ex who panics at a law firm's letterhead This isn't an episode telling you to avoid lawyers. It's about using them strategically for the parts where legal expertise genuinely matters, and not for the parts that just drain your property pool. 00:00 – Do You Need a Lawyer for Divorce? The Big Myth 01:40 – The All-or-Nothing Lawyer Myth & Talking About Costs 03:00 – Why Spending Too Much on Lawyers Early Can Backfire 04:00 – The 2 Critical Times You MUST See a Lawyer 05:00 – Why Seeing a Lawyer Early Bursts Unrealistic Expectations 06:20 – Before You Sign: Why a Lawyer's Eye Matters 08:20 – The 3 Ways to Use a Lawyer: The First-Class Ride 09:50 – The 3 Ways to Use a Lawyer: Step In, Step Out 11:20 – Divorce Personality Types: Manipulative & Controlling 12:50 – Using Your Lawyer Strategically Against Fee-Running Tactics 15:00 – Should You Take a Lawyer or Barrister to Mediation? 17:00 – Divorce Personality Types: High Conflict 19:00 – Divorce Personality Types: The Avoidant Ex 21:30 – Divorce Personality Types: The Amicable Ex 23:40 – Project-Managing Your Lawyer & the Addario & Addario Case 26:00 – Why Understanding the Process Stops Panic Spending 33:00 – The Middle Way + Legal Aid & Community Legal Services 34:00 – The DIY Divorce Blueprint & Sign-Off 🎧 Episodes  How Much Does Getting Divorced Actually Cost? — https://youtu.be/x-sgBNjlTHo?si=ubdIhcS1mjSrQqEk Bombarded With Legal Letters — https://youtu.be/z11Id8YdQn4?si=ucYfGThRuRcFYoH6 Mediation or Manipulation? — https://youtu.be/cmcFWXD2EBs?si=BMV5KY4CquSx1_dN Do You Need to Take a Lawyer to Mediation? — https://youtu.be/GB2lJftxdh4?si=vNwQueYHJhFrY3aP Community Legal Services: How to Use Them — https://youtu.be/4sEUhu6r07Q?si=1oYsGQ3vF1Eb2Y4M 📚 Links & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The DIY Divorce Blueprint — enrolments open until 10 June 2026 (click "Enroll Now") 💌 If this episode helped you understand how to use a lawyer wisely – and where you can save thousands – please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find it too.

    38 min

  7. 19 may

    How Much Does Divorce Actually Cost? Legal Fees, Mediation & Hidden Expenses

    🎧 Listen to This Episode If… You want a real, plain-English breakdown of divorce process fees You're terrified to leave because you've heard divorce costs hundreds of thousands of dollars Your ex is telling you "leave the lawyers out of it" and you're not sure if they're right You've already started racking up legal fees and you're wondering where it's all going You want to understand exactly what you can do yourself versus what you actually need a lawyer for You're heading into mediation and don't know if you need a barrister too ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law. Always consult a qualified family lawyer. fees may have changed since this episode was recorded (figures quoted reflect May 2026 pricing). This isn't an episode designed to scare you. Laura and Lyn walk you through where you have control, where you can save thousands by doing the work yourself,  00:00 – The Real Cost of Divorce: Why Some Pay $4K and Others $300K 02:36 – The Big Three Fears 04:14 – How Much Does a Divorce Application Actually Cost?  06:35 – Why Lawyers Charge for "Accepting Service" 08:01 – Negotiation Costs:  11:00 – Hourly Rates in 2026: 12:30 – The Cost of Phone Calls, Reviewing Offers & Meetings 14:30 – How Much to Draft Consent Orders 16:00 – Disclosure: The Biggest Budget Blowout in Divorce 19:00 – Paralegal Rates vs Lawyer Rates: Don't Overpay 20:30 – Drip-Feeding vs Dumping Disclosure 23:30 – Mediation Costs 24:50 – Do You Need a Barrister at Mediation? 27:00 – Half-Day vs Full-Day Mediation 29:30 – Hidden Costs 32:30 – The Court's Scale of Fees vs What Lawyers Actually Charge 33:30 – How Sending Late-Night Emails Costs You 34:30 – How People Waste Money 35:30 – Fighting Over Furniture, Revenge Litigation & Lawyer-as-Therapist 36:30 – Stubbornness, Unrealistic Expectations & Knowing When to Let Go 37:30 – Family Law Doesn't Deliver Justice or Retribution 39:00 – How Much to File Consent Orders ($205 Court Fee) 41:00 – How to Be Smart: When to Use a Lawyer and When Not To 41:30 – Saving Thousands on Disclosure by Doing It Yourself 43:00 – The One Meeting Strategy: Walk In Prepared, Walk Out Saving $10K 46:00 – Who Pays for Legal Fees? Section 114UB Explained 47:30 – Fee Exemptions, Cost Agreements & What to Expect 49:30 – Laura's Confession: The Bag of Receipts Story 🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1. How to Choose a Mediator (Free vs Private Mediation) https://youtu.be/HKda6QswjAE?si=R27SD6WSDiLiI3VA 2. Do You Need a Lawyer for Mediation? https://youtu.be/GB2lJftxdh4?si=ur8ZMCkzPQ9dYFZN 3. Furniture in Divorce: How to Deal With It Without Blowing Your Budgethttps://youtu.be/oZ5h-gxckXU 4. Consent Orders Explained https://youtu.be/-DC72tq8FRM 🎟️ Free Webinar — Register at www.thedivorcecourse.com.au (click "Reserve My Seat") Family Law Act 1975 – Section 114UB (each party bears their own costs) https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/ https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/costs https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pubs/legal-costs The Divorce Course Disclosure Checklist —https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosure_checklist_o

    52 min

  8. 13 may

    How to Choose the Right Mediator for Your Divorce (Without Getting Played)

    🎧 Listen to This Episode If… You've been told you have to go to mediation and you don't know where to start Your ex has already chosen a mediator and something feels off You can't afford the expensive mediator your ex is pushing for You're going through family violence and worried no mediator will take your matter You don't know the difference between free mediation and private mediation You want to know whether your mediator actually needs to be a lawyer ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. 🛟 Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode discusses family violence and the challenges of mediating where there is a history of abuse, coercion, or control. If you or someone you know is in danger, call 000. For confidential support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). Episode Summary You don't have to accept whichever mediator gets put in front of you. In this episode, Laura and Mum (family law accredited specialist Lynette Galvin) unpack one of the most under-discussed parts of separation how to actually choose a good mediator, and how to push back when the one your ex is suggesting doesn't feel right. They cover the difference between free mediation (Relationships Australia, Interrelate, CentreCare) and private mediation, when you need an FDRP (Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner) versus when you don't, and whether your mediator really needs to be a lawyer or a former judge. Mum shares the exact wording she uses in letters when the other side proposes a biased or unaffordable mediator  including the "panel of three" approach that keeps the process fair. There's also an honest conversation about the gap in the system for people experiencing family violence, where mediators often refuse to take the matter on leaving survivors stuck heading to court when mediation could have solved the issue. Laura and Mum talk about what to look for in a mediator brave enough to handle high-conflict matters, and the practical safety steps (separate rooms, video links, safe exits) you can ask about. And there's the reminder you might need most: you hold the cards. You don't have to agree to anything in mediation just because you've been pushed to. You can pause, walk away, and come back when you're ready. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – How to Choose a Mediator: Why It Matters More Than You Think 01:00 – Legal Disclaimer & Why Mum Is a Qualified Mediator 01:40 – Can the Mediator Make or Break Your Mediation? 02:30 – How Lawyers Choose Mediators (And Their "Bottom of the Barrel" List) 03:40 – Can You Speak to a Mediator Before Choosing? Why Mum Says No 04:20 – How to Use Google Reviews to Vet a Mediator 05:30 – What Qualifications a Mediator Should Have (FDRP Explained) 07:00 – Does Your Mediator Need to Be a Lawyer? Property vs Children 08:30 – Why Social Workers Often Make the Best Children's Mediators 09:30 – Mediation and Family Violence: The Gap in the System 12:20 – Can You Change Mediators Halfway Through? The Honest Answer 13:50 – Red Flags: Biased, Agenda-Driven and "In Cahoots" Mediators 16:00 – When the Mediator's Office Is Next Door to Your Ex's Lawyer 17:00 – How to Push Back Without Slandering the Mediator 18:30 – What to Do If Your Ex Picks an Expensive Mediator You Can't Afford 19:30 – Free Mediation Options: Relationships Australia, Interrelate, CentreCare 20:20 – How Much Does a Private Mediator Cost? ($5K–$6K Reality Check) 21:30 – Why Free Services Have Long Wait Lists (And When to Go Private) 22:30 – The "Panel of Three" Letter Strategy You Can Use Today 24:00 – Should You Pay More If Your Case Is Serious? 24:50 – Free Mediation Pros and Cons (And Why Parenting Plans Aren't Enforceable) 27:40 – Private Mediators: Former Judges, Barristers and the "Iron Fist in Velvet Glove" 29:30 – Facilitative vs Evaluative vs Pure Mediation Styles Explained 31:30 – Can You Ask the Mediator If You're Getting a Good Deal? No. 32:30 – Pressure to Sign on the Day: How to Push Back 33:40 – Mediation Is Like a Boat in the Ocean — Pick Wisely 35:30 – How to Write the "Panel of Three" Letter to Your Ex 36:30 – Best Mediator Style by Ex Personality Type 38:30 – If You're Amicable, You Might Not Need Mediation At All 39:30 – You Hold the Cards: Don't Be Bullied Into an Agreement 🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode  What Actually Happens Inside a Mediation - https://open.spotify.com/episode/2BvkcVNcHNrdWmXALC6bsA?si=31f56fce3c8d48a6 What a divorce mediator wish you knew  - https://open.spotify.com/episode/4zeUIkV3O5LTQAHi0dXOGL?si=644698cb744647a8 📚 Links & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog   Find an Accredited FDRP (Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner): Attorney-General's Department — https://www.ag.gov.au/families-and-marriage/family-dispute-resolution Free / Low-Cost Mediation Services: Relationships Australia — https://www.relationships.org.au Interrelate — https://www.interrelate.org.au CentreCare — https://centacare.com Find a Family Law Accredited Specialist or Mediator: Queensland Law Society — https://www.qls.com.au Bar Association of Queensland — https://www.qldbar.asn.au (Or your state's equivalent Law Society / Bar Association) The Divorce Course Free Webinar: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au — click "Reserve My Seat" Closing CTA If this episode helped you understand how to choose a mediator who'll actually work for you, please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others heading into mediation can find this information too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST

    42 min
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The Divorce Course Podcast is hosted by mother–daughter duo Laura Furiosi and family law specialist Lyn Galvin. Together, they break down the complex world of separation and divorce into clear, practical, and empowering conversations. From property settlements and parenting arrangements to dealing with difficult exes, finances, and family court, the podcast gives listeners the knowledge, tools, and confidence to navigate divorce without feeling lost or alone.

Información

  • Creador
    Laura & Lyn
  • Años de actividad
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodios
    258
  • Clasificación
    Apto
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2024 The Divorce Online Course & Podcast
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    The Divorce Course Podcast

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