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The House of My Mother | Audiobook | A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

The Messy Podcast
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Welcome to The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom, a podcast by The Messy Podcast. Dive into heartfelt conversations about parenting, family dynamics, and the journey toward independence. We explore the joys, struggles, and lessons of mother-daughter relationships, blending personal stories with actionable insights. Perfect for parents, daughters, and anyone navigating generational connections. Tune in for inspiring, relatable, and thought-provoking episodes that will leave you feeling empowered and understood!

Episodes

  1. 5 MAR

    S2EP3 | The Unseen War | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

    Welcome to Season 2, Episode 3 of The Messy Podcast! Tagline: The Unseen War – Jodi enforces homeschooling, sleep deprivation, and isolation while Shari fights to alert authorities. In this episode, we explore: The Homeschooling Mandate: Jodi’s decree: “Public schools breed distortion.” Siblings pulled from classes under the guise of “spiritual safety.” Chad removed from athletics despite record-breaking runs. Ruby: “Sports feed vanity and distract from Truth.” “Curriculum”: Scripture study, forced labor (digging trenches for Jodi’s home renovations), and accountability sessions. Sleep Deprivation Tactics: Bed confiscation: Siblings forced to sleep on yoga mats to “cultivate humility.” Chad’s collapse: Fainting during scripture study due to malnutrition and exhaustion. Ruby’s response: “Weakness is a choice.” Journal entry: “My brother’s ribs pressed through his skin like piano keys.” Social Isolation: Phones confiscated; monitored “Truth Team” meetings replace friendships. Eve’s punishment: Shunned for waving at a neighbor, forced to wear a sign: “I Choose Distortion Over Family.” Siblings forbidden from speaking unless quoting scripture. Shari’s Covert Resistance: Secret DCFS calls from payphones: “My siblings are starving. Please help.” Neighbor allies: Smuggling protein bars through windows, documenting weight loss. Audio evidence: Shari’s hidden phone recordings of Ruby berating Chad for “laziness.” Key Quotes from the Book: Ruby’s ultimatum: “Hunger is the body purging Satan. Comfort breeds sin.” Shari’s journal: “Every DCFS call felt like screaming into a void. Why won’t they listen?” Jodi’s teaching: “Friendship outside the family is adultery against God.” Themes to Highlight: Spiritual Sadism: Weaponizing LDS doctrine to justify starvation and isolation. Systemic Failure: Bureaucratic red tape preventing DCFS intervention despite 12+ reports. Covert Resistance: Shari’s evolution from obedient daughter to secret operative. Childhood Erasure: Loss of education, autonomy, and identity under Jodi’s regime. Narration & Discussion Points: Ethical Dilemma: Should minors have legal rights to report abuse without parental consent? Religious Context: How did Jodi twist concepts like “humility” and “chastity” to enable abuse? Psychological Toll: Link sleep deprivation/malnutrition to Chad’s athletic decline and cognitive fog. Foreshadowing: Eve’s sign punishment presages Ruby’s later use of duct tape/restraints. Recommended Interviews: Child Welfare Advocate: Discuss gaps in Utah’s mandatory reporting laws. Former DCFS Worker: Explain why Shari’s reports were dismissed (Ruby’s “model parent” reputation). Education Specialist: Analyze long-term impacts of educational deprivation. Soundtrack Suggestions: Suspenseful, ticking-clock motifs (time running out for the siblings). Distorted hymns during isolation sequences. Heartbeat monitor sounds during Chad’s fainting scene. Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.

    14 min

  2. 5 MAR

    S2EP2 | Rules of the Regime | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

    Welcome to Season 2, Episode 2 of The Messy Podcast! Tagline: Rules of the Regime – Jodi’s psychological torture tactics, Ruby’s radicalization, and Kevin’s marginalization. In this episode, we explore: Jodi’s “Truth vs. Distortion” Doctrine: Weaponizing LDS teachings: Labeling normal behavior (privacy, friendships) as “distorted” and “evil.” Mandatory “accountability” sessions: Forced confessions of “sins” like daydreaming or eating without permission. Food Deprivation & Control: Oatmeal punishment: Siblings forced to eat plain oatmeal for weeks as “humility training.” Ramadan-style fasting: No food/drink until sunset, justified as “spiritual cleansing.” Ruby’s journal entry: “Hunger is the body’s way of purging Satan’s influence.” Forced Labor & Physical Abuse: “Service projects”: Digging trenches in 100°F heat, hauling bricks for Jodi’s home renovations. Sleep deprivation: Siblings forced to jog laps at 3 AM for “disrespectful thoughts.” Duct-tape discipline: Wrists/ankles bound as punishment for “lying” (e.g., denying crushes). Kevin’s Exile: Jodi declares him “complicit in family distortions” after he questions Chad’s malnutrition. Ruby bans Kevin from disciplining kids: “You’re too soft—you’ll ruin Jodi’s work.” Custody threats: Ruby warns Kevin she’ll take full custody if he interferes. Psychological Torture Tactics: Isolation: Siblings forbidden from speaking to each other except during monitored “Truth Team” meetings. Public shaming: Chad forced to apologize on camera for “Naruto runs” (deemed “gateway to sin”). Gaslighting: Ruby tells Shari, “Your anxiety is a demon—pray harder.” Sibling Surveillance: Truth Teams: Kids ordered to document/report each other’s “sins” to Jodi. Burn journals: Shari forced to burn her childhood diaries as “distorted lies.” Key Quotes from the Book: “Jodi’s ‘service projects’ were slave labor disguised as spirituality.” Ruby to Kevin: “If you stand against Jodi, you stand against God.” Shari’s journal: “Chad’s ribs pressed through his skin like piano keys.” Jodi’s mantra: “Suffering builds character. Too much comfort breeds sin.” Themes to Highlight: Spiritual Sadism: Using LDS doctrines to justify abuse (e.g., repentance through starvation). Systemic Failure: How Utah’s insular culture enabled Jodi’s unchecked power. Bystander Complicity: Kevin’s paralysis between protecting kids and losing his family. Cult Rebranding: Framing abuse as “parenting coaching” for ConneXions clients. Narration & Discussion Points: Jodi’s Manipulation: How she mirrored Ruby’s existing control tactics but escalated them with theological legitimacy. Religious Gaslighting: Analyze Jodi’s twist on LDS teachings (e.g., conflating chastity with isolation). Kevin’s Dilemma: Why did he comply? Fear of losing access to kids vs. moral duty. Foreshadowing: Early signs of Chad’s physical decline (malnutrition, fainting spells). Recommended Interviews: Former ConneXions Client: Expose Jodi’s “parenting seminars” where she tested tactics on other families. Cult Intervention Specialist: Break down how Jodi exploited Ruby’s grief over miscarriages to gain control. Chad Franke: Discuss lasting trauma from forced labor and food deprivation. Soundtrack Suggestions: Ominous monastic chants (distorted to sound robotic). Metallic clanging during forced labor sequences. Heartbeat monitor flatlining as Kevin’s authority erodes. Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.

    17 min

  3. 5 MAR

    S2EP1 | False Prophet | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

    Welcome to Season 2, Episode 1 of The Messy Podcast! Tagline: False Prophet – Jodi Hildebrandt’s arrival, Ruby’s radicalization, and the unraveling of the Franke family. In this episode, we explore: Jodi’s Background: Introduction to Jodi’s credentials: Licensed therapist, self-styled “relationship expert,” and founder of ConneXions, a controversial self-help program. Her reputation in Utah’s LDS circles for “fixing” troubled marriages and “rehabilitating” rebellious teens. Early red flags: Ex-clients’ accusations of coercive tactics, including isolation and forced confessions. Ruby’s First Encounter: How Ruby met Jodi through LDS networks in 2020, seeking help for Shari’s “rebellion” (secret Snapchat use, therapy defiance). Jodi’s pitch: “Your family is drowning in distortion. I can teach you Truth.” Ruby’s journal entry: “Finally, someone who understands the sacrifices of motherhood.” Ideological Seduction: Jodi’s “Truth vs. Distortion” framework: Labeling normal teen behavior (privacy, crushes) as “evil.” Ruby’s transformation: Adopting Jodi’s militarized jargon (“accountability,” “suffering builds character”). Early “interventions”: Forcing Shari to apologize on camera for “manipulating” Ruby via depression. Family Dynamics Shift: Kevin’s gradual sidelining: Jodi declaring him “complicit in Shari’s lies.” Chad’s punishment for “Naruto runs”: Jodi’s decree that “playfulness is a gateway to sin.” Ruby’s mantra: “Jodi speaks for God. Resistance is rebellion.” Cult Tactics Emerge: “Truth Teams”: Siblings ordered to monitor and report each other’s “distortions.” Isolation: Phones confiscated, homeschool transitions, and bans on friends. Jodi’s control over Ruby: 4 AM prayer calls, demands for loyalty oaths. Key Quotes from the Book: “Jodi swept in like a hurricane, rewriting our family’s rules with Old Testament fury.” Ruby to Kevin: “If you won’t stand with Jodi, you’re standing against God.” Jodi’s warning: “Your children’s souls are at stake. Softness is sin.” Themes to Highlight: Spiritual Gaslighting: Weaponizing LDS theology to justify abuse. Erosion of Autonomy: Jodi’s takeover as a “divine mandate.” Cult Dynamics: Love-bombing, isolation, and us-vs.-them mentality. Motherhood Hijacked: Ruby’s metamorphosis from mom to zealot. Narration & Discussion Points: Ruby’s Motivations: Did Jodi fill a void left by YouTube Fame? Analyze Ruby’s journal: “Jodi sees my greatness when no one else does.” Systemic Failure: Why did Utah’s LDS community ignore Jodi’s predatory history? Parallels to Cults: Compare Jodi’s tactics to NXIVM/Heaven’s Gate playbooks. Foreshadowing: Early signs Ruby would choose Jodi over her own children. Recommended Interviews: Former ConneXions Client: Expose Jodi’s manipulative methods. Cult Expert: Break down Jodi’s psychological manipulation tactics. LDS Historian: Discuss how fundamentalism enables authoritarian figures. Soundtrack Suggestions: Ominous choral music (Mormon Tabernacle Choir distorted). Clock-ticking motifs (symbolizing Ruby’s race to radicalization). Dissonant strings during Jodi’s “teachings.” Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.

    16 min

  4. 5 MAR

    S1EP8 | A Million Subscribers, A Million Lies | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

    Welcome to Season 1, Episode 8 of The Messy Podcast! Tagline: A Million Subscribers, A Million Lies – Ruby celebrates viral fame while Shari battles isolation, illness, and religious guilt. In this episode, we explore: The 1M Subscriber Milestone (September 2017): Ruby films a "celebration" video while Shari suffers from mono, vomiting off-camera. Scene: Ruby pulls over mid-errand to document the moment, declaring, "Hitting this milestone while doing the little things!" Shari forced to feign "deathbed" weakness for clicks: "You can’t smile while at urgent care!" Shari’s Secret Life: "Kissing spree": Shari’s exploration with 4–5 boys, including Mark, conflicting with LDS teachings on chastity. Guilt-ridden journal entry: "I went from never kissing to realizing… boys don’t taste like frogs." Ruby monetizes her "crush" on Mark with clickbait titles despite their platonic dynamic. The Snowboarding Charade: Shari’s DIY "Shari Competes in the Olympics" video: Crumbling backyard half-pipe, trampoline fails, and bruised authenticity. Ruby’s critique: "Your editing’s messy, but the cringe sells!" vs. Shari’s private joy in unfiltered creativity. Isolation & Scrupulosity: Secret therapy sessions end after Ruby claims Dr. Winters called Shari a "drama queen." Panic attacks worsen: Shari dissociates during scripture study, fixating on "unclean lips" from impulsive kissing. Key Quotes from the Book: "One million strangers knew me… yet I’d never felt more alone." Ruby’s mantra: "We’re not normal—we’re public figures." Journal entry: "I irrevocably hate myself… God must loathe me for these kisses." Shari’s lament: "My mono diagnosis became a 1M subscriber milestone." Themes to Highlight: Exploitation vs. Celebration: Ruby monetizing Shari’s illness and first crushes. Religious Scrupulosity: Shari’s OCD-like guilt over normal teen experiences. Stolen Adolescence: Isolation magnified by public scrutiny and Ruby’s gaslighting. Duality of Fame: Viral success funds family luxuries (Chevy SUV, remodels) but erodes privacy. Narration & Discussion Points: Ruby’s Motivations: Was her 1M video a genuine celebration or narcissistic branding? Shari’s Conflict: How did LDS teachings on chastity exacerbate her self-loathing? Ethical Debate: Should minors have legal rights to revenue from family vlogs? Foreshadowing: Ruby’s dismissal of therapy foreshadows her later reliance on Jodi’s abusive "counseling." Recommended Interviews: Child Psychologist: Link Shari’s OCD/scrupulosity to repressed autonomy. Digital Ethicist: Discuss profit motives in monetizing children’s illnesses (e.g., mono video). LDS Scholar: Analyze how chastity doctrines impact teen mental health. Soundtrack Suggestions: Distorted carnival music (mirroring the grotesque celebration of Shari’s suffering). Echoed whispers of "unclean, unclean" during guilt sequences. Snowboarding montage scored with ironic pop-punk (e.g., "All the Small Things"). Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.

    20 min

  5. 5 MAR

    S1EP7 | Cracks in the Facade | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

    Welcome to Season 1, Episode 7 of The Messy Podcast! Tagline: Cracks in the Facade – Shari’s secret life, panic attacks, and Ruby’s manipulation of mental health struggles. In this episode, we explore: Secret Snapchat Rebellion: Midnight phone raids: Shari’s covert retrieval of her iPhone from Ruby’s closet to maintain contact with Jake. Jake’s texts and Snapchat memes: A lifeline to normalcy (“Each message felt like oxygen in a suffocating house”). Ruby’s punishment: Confiscating Shari’s smartphone, replacing it with a Nokia-style flip phone. Forbidden Crush on Jake: First kiss under an oak tree: “A thousand tiny fireworks exploding beneath my skin” vs. Ruby’s later discovery via Jake’s mother. School transfer: Pulled from junior high to a faith-based school to “protect” Shari from Jake’s influence. Panic Attacks & Suicidal Ideation: Shower breakdown: Hyperventilating under cold water after learning of her forced transfer. Journal entry: “I want to die. The idea of not existing brought perverse relief.” Kevin’s intervention: “We’re going to get through this together” vs. Ruby’s dismissal. Ruby’s Gaslighting & Therapy Sabotage: Dr. Winters’ sessions: Shari tiptoeing around Ruby’s abuse, focusing on “safe” topics like sleep issues. Ruby’s lie: “The doctor thinks you’re a drama queen. No more therapy!” Weaponized scripture: Ruby citing LDS teachings on stoicism to dismiss Shari’s depression. Public vs. Private Shari: Viral eyebrow waxing video: Ruby’s exploitative “SHARI, I’M SO SORRY!!” clip (500K+ views). “Shari Competes in the Olympics”: Goofy backyard snowboarding skit masking inner turmoil. Key Quotes from the Book: “Panic attacks felt like drowning on dry land… but Ruby only saw ‘drama.’” “My journal was the only place I could say: I don’t think my mother loves me.” Ruby’s mantra: “All problems can be solved with prayer, diet, and exercise.” “I knew the line between authenticity and exploitation had blurred when my mono diagnosis became a 1M subscriber milestone.” Themes to Highlight: Public Perfection vs. Private Desperation: The contrast between 8 Passengers’ wholesome image and Shari’s suicidal ideation. Digital Double Life: Snapchat as Shari’s rebellion vs. Ruby’s branding of autonomy as “sinful.” Religious Gaslighting: Weaponizing faith to dismiss mental health struggles (“Bishop called it scrupulosity. Ruby called it weakness.”) Generational Betrayal: Ruby replicating her own repressed upbringing by denying Shari’s pain. Narration & Discussion Points: Shari’s Journals: Analyze entries like “Silence is my armor” and “I irrevocably hate myself.” Ruby’s Motivations: Did she genuinely believe therapy was unnecessary, or was she protecting her “perfect mom” persona? Ethical Dilemma: Should minors have legal rights against being monetized as “content”? Foreshadowing: How Shari’s covert Snapchat use prefigures her later activism and escape. Recommended Interviews: Clinical Psychologist: Link panic attacks to prolonged emotional abuse and religious guilt. Digital Privacy Advocate: Discuss long-term impacts of restricted social media access on teens. LDS Therapist: Explore how Ruby distorted church teachings to justify gaslighting. Soundtrack Suggestions: Discordant piano chords (reflecting Shari’s fragmented mental state). Static interference sounds during Snapchat scenes. Choral hymns warped into minor keys (symbolizing distorted faith). Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.

    14 min

  6. 5 MAR

    S1EP6 | The Viral Machine | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

    Welcome to Season 1, Episode 6 of The Messy Podcast! Tagline: The Viral Machine – How brand deals and viral fame turned the Franke home into a monetized set, eroding privacy. In this episode, we explore: The Crib-Climbing Phenomenon: 50M+ views: Analysis of the viral 2015 video showing Shari’s toddler sister escaping her crib. Ruby’s reaction: “Our little lady is a bona fide internet sensation!” vs. Shari’s unease (“What’s so interesting about a baby climbing?”). Ethical debate: Exploiting a toddler’s milestone for content without consent. Monetization Machinery: AdSense & thresholds: Ruby’s obsession with hitting 1K subscribers (2015) and 1M subscribers (2017). First brand deals: Slow-cooker sponsorships, free vacations (e.g., Seattle Airbnb trip), and tech gadgets. Shari’s line: “Outfit hauls became tax write-offs… gas was a business expense.” The Home Remodel: Aesthetic overhaul: Yellow walls → Instagrammable white board-and-batten. Porch transformed with lanterns, pillows, and removed house numbers (to avoid blurring in videos). Set design logic: Kitchen staged for cooking segments; living room arranged for “casual” vlog scenes. Privacy Erosion: Filming rituals: Early-morning shoots, forced smiles (“Smile, Shari! Say good morning!”). Shari’s humiliation in “Shari’s Piano Recital” (Ruby’s exploitative editing of awkward tween moments). Stolen autonomy: Shari’s puberty documented for millions (acne, “First Crush” clickbait). Psychological Toll: Shari’s secret journal entry: “I felt like a sideshow freak.” Ruby’s mantra: “We’re not normal—we’re public figures.” Chad’s resentment: Mocking the “Naruto runs” vs. Shari’s bookish isolation. Key Quotes from the Book: “Our lives revolved around nonstop content creation—whether we liked it or not.” “The line between authenticity and exploitation blurred so completely… none of us could tell the difference.” Ruby’s justification: “God gave us this platform. We’re showing people the way!” Themes to Highlight: Exploitation vs. Ministry: Ruby’s belief that vlogging was “passive missionary work” for the LDS Church. Childhood as Content: Loss of privacy (e.g., filming Shari’s mono diagnosis for 1M subscriber milestone). Generational Pressure: Shari’s secret YouTube channel exploiting siblings (“The guilt eats at me now”). Narration & Discussion Points: Ruby’s Motivations: Was monetization about financial security, validation, or narcissism? Shari’s Bargaining: How she traded compliance for privileges (“Film your ice cream outing = 8 Passengers credit card”). Utah’s Vlogging Culture: Why LDS families dominate “wholesome” content. Foreshadowing: How viral success enabled Ruby’s later extremism (Jodi’s arrival). Recommended Interviews: Child Psychologist: Long-term effects of growing up on camera. Digital Privacy Lawyer: Legal gaps in protecting child influencers. Family Vlogging Historian: Utah’s role in monetizing domestic life. Soundtrack Suggestions: Upbeat ukulele music (contrasting curated “happy family” intros). Ticking clock effects (symbolizing Shari’s countdown to freedom). Distorted camera shutter sounds during vulnerable moments. Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.

    12 min

  7. 5 MAR

    S1EP5 | Silent Rebellion | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

    Welcome to Season 1, Episode 5 of The Messy Podcast! Tagline: Silent Rebellion – Shari’s covert struggles with anxiety, her hidden journals, and Ruby’s militarized discipline. In this episode, we explore: Shari’s Secret Anxiety: Panic attacks: The shower incident (post-school transfer) where Shari hyperventilated under running water, dissociating to escape Ruby’s control. Physical manifestations: Chronic stomach pain dismissed as “colic,” lip-picking, and self-loathing journal entries (“I irrevocably hate myself”). Night terrors: Visions of demonic possession linked to LDS teachings and Ruby’s volatility. Journaling as Survival: Secret defiance: Shari’s coded diaries (“The truth is, I retreat into silence because it’s the only peace I get from you”). Breadcrumbs for the future: Explicit documentation of Ruby’s meltdowns (e.g., piano practice rages) to preserve her reality. Ruby’s Military-Style Discipline: Conditioning punishments: Forcing Shari and Chad to run laps or do pushups for minor infractions (e.g., delaying chores). The haircut incident: Shaving Chad’s head into a reverse mohawk after he cut Shari’s hair, branding disobedience publicly. Ruby’s justification: “In this house, we don’t make excuses for bad behavior.” Stolen Autonomy: Midnight phone raids: Shari’s secret retrieval of her confiscated iPhone to maintain Snapchat contact with Jake. Therapy sabotage: Ruby gaslighting Shari by falsely claiming the therapist dismissed her depression as “dramatic.” Emotional Shutdown: Bishop consultations: Shari’s obsessive confessions about kissing Jake/Mark due to scrupulosity (religious OCD). Ruby’s dismissal: “You just need more sleep and less screen time.” Key Quotes from the Book: “Panic attacks felt like drowning on dry land… but Ruby only saw ‘drama.’” “Bishop called it scrupulosity. Ruby called it weakness.” “My journal was the only place I could say: I don’t think my mother loves me.” Themes to Highlight: Internalized trauma: How Shari’s anxiety manifesting as self-harm (lip-picking) and suicidal ideation. Faith as suppression: Using LDS teachings on stoicism to justify emotional neglect. Public vs. private: Contrast between Ruby’s “wholesome mom” persona and private sadism. Scrupulosity’s toll: Shari’s religious OCD conflating normal teen behavior with eternal damnation. Narration & Discussion Points: Survival mechanisms: Analyze Shari’s journal entry: “Silence is my armor.” Ruby’s motivations: Did her strict upbringing and miscarriages fuel her need for control? Ethical dilemma: Should minors have legal rights against being monetized as “content”? Foreshadowing: How Shari’s secret Snapchat use prefigures her later activism. Recommended Interviews: Clinical Psychologist: Discuss links between scrupulosity, OCD, and authoritarian parenting. Digital Ethics Expert: Debate child labor laws in family vlogging. Faith-Based Counselor: Explore how LDS teachings on motherhood enabled Ruby’s abuse. Soundtrack Suggestions: Dissonant piano motifs (nod to unresolved trauma). Accelerating heartbeat sounds during panic attack sequences. Choir vocals distorted into whispers (symbolizing repressed emotions). Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.

    14 min

  8. 5 MAR

    S1EP4 | The Camera’s Gaze | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

    Welcome to Season 1, Episode 4 of The Messy Podcast! Tagline: The Camera’s Gaze – A deep dive into the launch of 8 Passengers, early viral fame, and Shari’s struggle between obedience and privacy. In this episode, we explore: Launch of 8 Passengers (January 2015): Ruby’s motivation: To emulate her sisters’ YouTube success and monetize family life. First video: Retrospective gender reveal (2013) and newborn sibling footage. Ruby’s tagline: “A place for my children to see how they’ve progressed” vs. reality of staged content. Early Viral Moments: The Crib-Climbing Video: Shari’s toddler sister scaling her crib (later hitting 50M+ views). Shari’s humiliation in “Shari’s Piano Recital” video (Ruby’s exploitative editing). Ruby’s obsession with milestones (e.g., “Spiders Slugs and Snails OH MY!” and “Shari Competes in the Olympics” skits). Shari’s Conflicted Role: Forced participation: Early-morning filming sessions and Ruby’s directive: “Smile, Shari! Say good morning!” Leverage for freedom: Bartering compliance for privileges (e.g., “If you film your ice cream outing, you can use the 8 Passengers credit card”). Secret rebellion: Midnight phone retrieval to maintain Snapchat contact with Jake. Family Dynamics Reshaped: Home remodel: Yellow walls replaced with “Instagrammable” white board-and-batten. First brand deals: Slow-cooker sponsorships and free vacations (e.g., Seattle Airbnb trip). Ruby’s mantra: “We’re not normal. We’re public figures.” Key Quotes from the Book: “Our lives revolved around nonstop content creation—whether we liked it or not.” “I felt like a sideshow freak: ‘Step right up and witness Shari, the Amazingly Awkward Adolescent!’” “The line between authenticity and exploitation blurred so completely that sometimes, none of us could tell the difference.” Ruby’s justification: “God gave us this platform. We’re showing people the way!” Themes to Highlight: Exploitation vs. Ministry: Ruby’s belief that vlogging was “passive missionary work” for the LDS Church. Loss of Childhood Privacy: Shari’s puberty documented for millions (e.g., acne, “First Crush” clickbait). Generational Pressure: Shari’s secret YouTube channel (“I exploited my siblings… The guilt eats at me now”). Narration & Discussion Points: Ruby’s Motivations: Was 8 Passengers a creative outlet, a bid for validation, or a narcissistic enterprise? Psychological Toll: How did Shari’s anxiety (lip-picking, journal entries) correlate with public exposure? Ethical Debate: Should family vlogging require minors’ consent? Analyze Shari’s line: “No child should have to earn a parent’s affection with compliance.” Foreshadowing: How did early viral success enable Ruby’s later extremism? Recommended Interviews: Child Psychologist: Long-term effects of growing up on camera. Family Vlogging Historian: Utah’s role in monetizing “wholesome” content. Digital Privacy Lawyer: Legal gaps in protecting child influencers. Soundtrack Suggestions: Upbeat ukulele music (nodding to Ruby’s curated “happy family” intros). Ticking clock effects (symbolizing Shari’s countdown to freedom). Distorted camera shutter sounds during Shari’s vulnerable moments. Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.

    14 min

  9. 5 MAR

    S1EP3 | Pioneers of Pain | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

    Welcome to Season 1, Episode 3 of The Messy Podcast! Tagline: Pioneers of Pain – The Franke family’s move to Springville, Ruby’s miscarriage trauma, and the façade of religious piety. In this episode, we explore: The Move to Springville (2009): Ruby’s obsession with painting the house "cheerful" yellow ("trapped inside a giant banana" from Shari’s POV). Springville’s LDS pioneer history: Founded in 1850, proximity to Provo Temple, and the "Wasatch Mountains as the edge of the world." Chad’s reverse mohawk punishment (haircut incident) as a symbol of Ruby’s escalating control. Ruby’s Miscarriage Trauma (2009): Third miscarriage at 17 weeks: Loss of a son named Benjamin, fetal kicks felt, and Ruby’s emotional shutdown (no grieving allowed). The Dream: Ruby grocery-shopping with a boy who says, “I don’t have a mommy” → pregnancy with her fifth child. Psychological impact: Ruby’s fixation on pregnancy as "divine purpose" and emotional volatility. Shari’s Baptism at 8 Years Old: Submersion in the baptismal font: "Felt like a warm waffle laid on top of me" (journal entry). Gift of gold-embossed scriptures and obsession with Joseph Smith’s story (compared to Frozen). Juxtaposition: Baptism as spiritual safety vs. growing dread of Ruby’s rages. Religious Masking of Dysfunction: Ruby’s "sex talk" on the porch: Shari’s confusion about adult relationships and church leaders. Tithing lessons: Kevin’s explanation vs. Ruby’s emphasis on "a woman’s first duty to husband/church." Journal Entry: "I don’t think my mother loves me" (written at 11) and night terrors about demons. Key Quotes from the Book: "Ruby’s self-worth was built on exceptionalism—if she couldn’t be extraordinary at piano, she’d be extraordinary at motherhood." "Baptism felt like safety, security, and warmth... compared to the eternal truths of the gospel, Ruby’s tantrums seemed small." "In this house, we don’t make excuses for other people’s bad behavior." (Ruby to Shari after Chad’s punishment). "My earliest memories are of Ruby crying… ironic, since she seemed immune to anyone else’s tears." Themes to Highlight: Sacred vs. Sadistic: How Ruby weaponized LDS teachings (e.g., motherhood as "divine calling") to justify control. Generational Cycles: Ruby replicating her strict upbringing (helping raise siblings in a "bootstraps" culture). Performance Piety: Contrast between public devotion (tithing, baptism) and private cruelty (slaps, emotional neglect). Childhood Dissonance: Shari’s anxiety manifesting as lip-picking, night terrors, and self-loathing despite outward obedience. Narration & Discussion Points: Ruby’s Motivations: Did her miscarriage trauma fuel her need for control over her children? Cultural Context: How did Utah’s pioneer history and LDS emphasis on large families enable Ruby’s behavior? Shari’s Journal: Analyze her entry: "I am so mad at Mom sometimes… I hate myself, and I have for a while." Foreshadowing: The haircut incident as a precursor to Jodi’s later sadism. Recommended Interviews: LDS Scholar: Discuss doctrinal views on miscarriage, motherhood, and stoicism. Child Psychologist: Link Shari’s scrupulosity/OCD to religious guilt and emotional neglect. Utah Historian: Explore Springville’s pioneer roots and its modern "family vlogging" culture. Soundtrack Suggestions: Somber hymns (Come, Come Ye Saints nods to pioneer struggles). Distorted church bells during Ruby’s rage scenes. Hopeful piano motifs during Shari’s baptism segment. Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.

    21 min

  10. 5 MAR

    S1EP2 | The Performance of Perfection | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

    Welcome to Season 1, Episode 2 of The Messy Podcast! Tagline: The Performance of Perfection – A deep dive into Ruby’s curated online persona, Shari’s traumatic piano lessons, and the emotional neglect masked by a "perfect" family image. In this episode, we explore: The Birth of "Good Lookin Home Cookin": Launch of Ruby’s mommy blog in 2007 under the guise of “documenting family growth.” Aspirational recipes (raspberry butter, trail mix cookies) vs. reality: Ruby rarely cooked the dishes she posted. Expansion into other blogs like Full Suburban and Yummy Mummies, branding family photos with "It’s A Franke Life." Shari’s Piano Lessons: A Tool for Control: Daily 6:00 a.m. practice sessions under Ruby’s supervision. Ruby’s rage: Slapping Shari’s arm, flicking her lips, or tugging her ears for “wrong facial expressions” or mistakes. The piano teacher incident: Shari’s panic when Ruby’s judgment clashed with the teacher’s feedback. Emotional Neglect and Hidden Anguish: Shari’s chronic stomach pain and anxiety dismissed as “colic” or attention-seeking. Night terrors about demonic possession, fueled by LDS teachings on evil spirits. Journal entry: “Mommy isn’t very nice to me.” Ruby’s Explosive Temper: “Military-style” punishments: Forcing Shari and Chad to run laps or do pushups for minor infractions. The haircut incident: Ruby buzzes Chad’s hair into a reverse mohawk as retaliation for cutting Shari’s hair. Slapping Shari for showing discomfort during piano practice. The Curated Family Image: Ruby’s blog tagline: “A place for my children to see how they’ve progressed” vs. reality of staged perfection. Nolly the Labrador: The dog provided Shari more emotional support than Ruby during piano sessions. Key Quotes from the Book: “Ruby’s blog recipes were aspirational. I’m not sure she ever made those dishes.” “I learned my pain didn’t matter. My needs were inconvenient.” “Mommy isn’t very nice to me.” “In this house, we don’t make excuses for other people’s bad behavior.” (Ruby to Shari after punishing Chad). Themes to Highlight: Performance vs. Reality: The disconnect between Ruby’s wholesome online persona and her volatile home life. Religious Scrupulosity: How LDS teachings on demons intensified Shari’s childhood fears. Emotional Neglect: Ruby’s dismissal of Shari’s physical/emotional pain as “weakness.” Generational Trauma: Ruby repeating her strict upbringing, using parenting as a tool for control. Narration & Discussion Points: Ruby’s Motivations: Was the blog a creative outlet, a bid for validation, or a precursor to her YouTube empire? Impact of Early Public Exposure: How did Shari’s childhood as a “content prop” shape her self-worth? Religious Context: Analyze the role of LDS values in justifying Ruby’s harsh discipline. Psychological Toll: Link Shari’s anxiety/self-loathing (e.g., lip-picking, journal entries) to Ruby’s neglect. Recommended Interviews: Child Psychologist: Discuss long-term effects of emotional neglect and strict discipline on development. Family Vlogging Historian: Explore Utah’s blogging culture and its ties to LDS values. Ethics Expert: Debate the morality of monetizing family life without children’s consent. Soundtrack Suggestions: Tense piano melodies. Distorted, eerie tones during demon-nightmare sequences. Upbeat kitchen sounds (contrasting Ruby’s “domestic bliss” facade). Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.

    14 min

  11. SEASON 1, EPISODE 1 TRAILER

    The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom | Audiobook | The Messy Podcast

    Welcome to Season 1, Episode 1 of The Messy Podcast! Tagline: The Making of a Matriarch – Exploring Ruby’s upbringing, marriage, and Shari’s traumatic entry into the world. In this episode, we explore: Ruby’s Early Life: Born in Logan, Utah (1982) into a devout LDS family. Moved to Roy, Utah. Eldest of 5 siblings, tasked with raising them. Childhood shaped by LDS teachings: motherhood as the "highest calling." Ruby & Kevin’s Marriage: Met at Utah State University (2000); engaged within 2 weeks. Vision board for a husband: "5 inches taller," "engineer," "handsome." Wedding on December 28, 2000: mismatched shoes, Southwestern blankets. Dynamic: Ruby as "Ultimate Mother," Kevin as the "supporting actor." Shari’s Traumatic Birth: Born March 3, 2003, after a high-risk pregnancy. Emergency surgery for intestinal blockage at 3 months. Parenting philosophy: "let babies cry it out," no coddling. Early signs of anxiety: night terrors, fear of demons, unexplained stomach pain. Early Family Dynamics: Ruby’s temper: slapping Shari for "wrong facial expressions." Rise of mommy blogging ("Good Lookin Home Cookin"). Shari’s realization: "Mommy isn’t very nice to me." Key Quotes from the Book: "Ruby’s self-worth was built on exceptionalism—if she couldn’t be extraordinary at piano, she’d be extraordinary at motherhood." "My earliest memories are of Ruby crying... ironic, since she seemed immune to anyone else’s tears." "I learned my pain didn’t matter. My needs were inconvenient." "Ruby’s blog recipes were aspirational. I’m not sure she ever made those dishes." Themes to Highlight: Religious Pressure: LDS teachings on motherhood as divine duty. Performance vs. Reality: Ruby’s curated online persona vs. her temper. Generational Trauma: Ruby repeating her strict upbringing with Shari. Emotional Neglect: Shari’s journal entries about self-loathing and isolation. Narration & Discussion Points: Ruby’s Motivations: How did her LDS upbringing shape her need for control? Cultural Context: Why does Utah’s "family vlogging" culture blur faith and exploitation? Shari’s Trauma: Analyze her recurring nightmare: "Even in heaven, Ruby’s voice condemns me." Foreshadowing: Ruby’s early cruelty (e.g., buzzing Chad’s hair) as a precursor to later abuse. Recommended Interviews: LDS Scholar: Discuss doctrinal emphasis on motherhood and large families. Parenting Expert: Analyze Ruby’s "cry it out" methods and psychological impacts. Family Vlogging Historian: Connect Ruby’s early mommy blogs to later fame. Soundtrack Suggestions: Somber piano pieces. Utah folk music. Jarring, unsettling tones during Shari’s nightmare sequences. Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.

    12 min

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About

Welcome to The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom, a podcast by The Messy Podcast. Dive into heartfelt conversations about parenting, family dynamics, and the journey toward independence. We explore the joys, struggles, and lessons of mother-daughter relationships, blending personal stories with actionable insights. Perfect for parents, daughters, and anyone navigating generational connections. Tune in for inspiring, relatable, and thought-provoking episodes that will leave you feeling empowered and understood!

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