TILT Parenting: Raising Differently Wired Kids Debbie Reber

To close out this season, I’m bringing you an interview with Amy Laurent and Jacquelyn Fede from Austim Level UP! I’m going to go out on a limb and say most of you have probably heard of Autism Level Up or heard Amy and Jacquelyn’s names before. Autism Level Up! Is a resource that I have personally spent hours pouring through because it’s so fantastic , accessible and informative. In this conversation I wanted to talk to Amy and Jacqueline about why they created Autism Level UP!, how the conversation surrounding autism and support for autistic people has changed over the past decade, and how we can all “level up” our own understanding of and experience with autism and neurodivergence.
About my guests
Jac is a super fun, super goofy and SUPER DUPER nerdy Autistic Advocate and the co-founder of Autism Level UP! Jac enjoys supporting Autistic Individuals and their partners as well as program evaluation, data and statistics, and app and web development. Jac is a physical activity junky and continues to meet its intense sensory needs by seeking high impact and highly resistant movements. 
Amy is an OT, co-author of the SCERTS model (a developmental framework for supporting Autistic people), and the co-founder of Autism Level UP!. Amy enjoys supporting Autistic individuals and their partners, co-conspiring as an ally to Autistic people and creative design of useful and accessible tools and supports. Amy has many sensory needs that she meets through running, yoga, dance, paddle boarding and even resistance training as prescribed by her trainer, Jac. 
Things you'll learn from this episode
The story behind Austin Level Up and how (and why) Amy and Jacquelyn created itWhat the SCERTS model is and the ways in which Autism Level Up has reworked some of its aspectsWhat Autism Level Up is and how parents can engage with itThe difference between emotional regulation and energy regulationResources mentioned
Autism Level UP!Autism Level UP! on FacebookAutism Level UP! on InstagramThe S.C.E.R.T.S. ModelUniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Dr. Barry PrizantBarry Prizant Talks About His Book “Uniquely Human”Dr. Barry Prizant and Dave Finch Talk About Their New Podcast, Uniquely Human (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Dr. Devon Price and Unmasking Autism (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhDSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting
Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

This is going to be a different kind of an episode, because it’s the seven-year anniversary of Tilt Parenting (!) and it felt like a good time to do some reflection on where we – you, me, this community – are now. And I wanted to reflect because I think it’s important to pause, take a breath, and notice this moment. 
So, in this episode, I’ll share reflections on what has changed in the “Tilt revolution” and the neurodiversity movement in the years since Tilt Parenting first launched, including the language used in this space. I also get a little personal and give you some updates from my world, our family’s journey, and what’s next. 
Lastly, I always want to offer something practical and tangible that you can take with you into your daily life, so I’ll tell you about the five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over the past few years and explain how they’ve impacted our family dynamic, and my own life as the parent of a differently wired kid.


Things you'll learn from this episode:
How the conversation, and terminology, surrounding neurodivergence and the “movement” has evolved over the past seven yearsHow I envisioned Tilt when I first developed itWhy I believe there is no such thing as “normal”What I see as the most exciting developments in neuroscience developments and how they’ll impact differently wired childrenHow my personal life has changed since I started Tilt and the challenges I’ve encountered in doing the inner workThe five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over (and over) again in recent yearsSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting
Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

The world has changed so very much in the past few years, including in no small way how our kids relate to other kids. I get a pang of nostalgia when I think about how I used to form friendships when I was younger in a more analog world, but I can also feel excitement about the many possibilities that have opened up for kids like ours to find their communities thanks to the technology they’re growing up with.
In this episode, Sam Young is going to talk with us about what a meaningful and healthy social life might look like for our differently wired kids, and how we can support them in the process. We explored how online communities have impacted socializing for neurodivergent kids, how parents can support kids in developing the skills to help with social anxiety, key elements to look for in ideal social environments for our differently-wired kiddos, and much more.
Sam Young MEd is a growth-minded, two-time Fulbright Scholar and Director of Young Scholars Academy, a strength-based, talent-focused virtual enrichment center that supports twice-exceptional, neurodivergent, and gifted students and their families. Sam is a neurodivergent educator who has ADHD. As an ADHD learner, he has a tremendous understanding of, experience in, and respect for all things related to neurodiverse education. Before founding Young Scholars Academy, Sam taught in a variety of capacities—including nearly a decade at Bridges Academy—at an array of programs in the US, Europe, and Asia. 
Things you'll learn from this episode
What reimagining our kids’ social life really is aboutHow online communities have impacted our kid’s social livesWhat Sam’s students wish their social lives looked likeHow parents or adults in kids' lives can support them in building skills to help them with social anxietySam’s thoughts on social skill groups and their efficacyExpectations that parents have that might be getting in the way of their kid’s social livesHow parents can support a kid who is feeling alone to the point of their self-confidence and self-worth being affectedResources mentioned:
Young Scholars AcademyYoung Scholars Academy Winter Courses10 tips to help 2e kiddos socialize AND a bonus videoYoung Scholars Academy on FacebookYoung Scholars Academy on InstagramBridges AcademyReady Player OneDavidson Young Scholars Joseph RenzulliSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting
Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

I really enjoyed exploring unschooling, deschooling, freedom, and liberation with Akilah Richards, host of the Fare the Free Child podcast and author of the book Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.
I reached out to Akilah after seeing her TED talk, which led me to her book, and then her podcast, and I knew I wanted to invite her to join me in conversation. A recurring theme in this podcast, and in Tilt, is doing our own inner work as parents, and I love how Akilah talks about relating our own reparenting to freedom, decolonization, and liberation.
Akilah shares her personal story of going from traditional schooling to unschooling to deschooling, and how she and her husband came to consider the idea of raising free people, what that means, and how they’ve navigated the realities of making unconventional choices that can sometimes make other people uncomfortable. She also shares how they think about the success and what a fulfilled life looks like for her family, as well as how her work aimed at decolonizing parenting has resonated with people worldwide.
About my guest:
Akilah S. Richards is passionate about mindful partnerships and decolonizing parenting. She uses audio and written mediums to amplify the ways that unschooling in particular, is serving as healing grounds and liberation work for Black, non-Black Indigenous, and People of Color communities earthwide. Her celebrated unschooling podcast, Fare of the Free Child, and the numerous workshops and gatherings she has been part of, have garnered the attention of Forbes Magazine, The New York Times, Good Morning America, and most importantly, BIPOC families interested or living in more healthy, consent-based, intergenerational relationships. Her recent experiences within the intersection of privilege, parenting,and power are detailed in her latest book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.
You'll learn:
What it means to be raising a “free child” and why it can be a threatening or uncomfortable concept for many peopleWhat “mad question asking” is and how parents can use it to get unstuckHow unschooling is tied to decolonizationWhat “deschooling” is versus “homeschooling” and “unschooling”What “confident autonomy” is and why Akilah considers that a hallmark of “success” in her childrenHow Akilah and her partner dealt with the barriers (social, cultural, and more) when they chose the unschooling path for their familyWhat a “savor complex” is and how it can transform the family experienceResources mentioned:
Akilah Richard’s websiteRaising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah RichardsFare of the Free People PodcastAkilah’s website SchoolishnessAkilah’s coaching offeringsSavor ComplexAkilah Richard TEDx Asbury Park TalkShawna Murray BrowneSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting
Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

For the past few years, I’ve been hearing about this concept called “declarative language,” and although I had an idea of what it was, after reading my guest Linda Murphy’s Declarative Language Handbook, I couldn’t wait to bring her on the show because it offers another transformational tool for our parenting differently wired kids’ toolbox. 
Linda describes declarative language as a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, it is an ideal communication style for really all children, but especially neurodivergent children and kids whose nervous systems are triggered by demands or more imperative communication styles.
We discussed the different ways we can communicate with our children, the language we use, and the effects that simple shifts in the way we have conversations can have in our daily interactions with them. We also explored what is declarative language versus imperative language, as well as the relationship between co-regulation and declarative language and why we should use them in tandem. 
About Linda Murphy
Linda K. Murphy MS, CCC-SLP is a speech language pathologist and RDI® Consultant. She co-founded Peer Projects - Therapy From the Heart, a clinic in Beverly, MA dedicated to helping kids and families by using a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness. Linda has been working with individuals with social learning differences for over 25 years. She leads trainings on the topic of social learning, has authored Declarative Language Handbook, Co-Regulation Handbook, numerous articles, and co-authored the book Social Thinking and Me with Michelle Garcia Winner. 
Things you'll learn from this episode
What it means to use declarative language (versus imperative language)Why declarative language is so effective for neurodivergent children, and especially those who are wired to be more demand avoidanceWhy declarative language is more effective when paired with co-regulationCommon language and communication styles that place demands on kids that we may not be aware of (including questions)How to introduce declarative language communication and how it can support a child’s learning and developmentWhat we can hope to see in a child or an adolescent that has been on the receiving end of this style of communicationWhat to say instead of “Did you hear what I said”? Resources mentioned
Linda Murphy’s websiteDeclarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood by Linda K. MurphyDeclarative Language websiteDeclarative Language on FacebookDeclarative Language on InstagramOne Exchange at a Time (from Linda’s blog)Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting
Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Over the past few years I’ve seen the word trauma become more and more prevalent in conversations surrounding children, especially differently wired children. So I invited trauma and education expert Sandi Lerman onto the show so we could  talk about exactly what’s going on with our kids — have they or are they experiencing trauma at school? What is developmental trauma? What does trauma look like our children? And how can we respond to and support a child who has experienced trauma? 
In the episode you’re about to listen to, Sandi explains why two kids might internalize an experience differently, how kids’ bodies hold on to trauma, and the relationship between PDA and trauma. Sandi also walks us through the key tenets of her trust-based, connected parenting method in her heart strong system.
About Sandi Lerman
Sandi Lerman, MA Ed. is the Founder and Program Director of Heart-Strong International, a global education company that provides training and coaching programs for parents and teachers of children with developmental trauma and professional graduate-level programs for Trauma-Informed Specialists, Certified Parent Coaches, and Certified Educational Trainers.
Sandi is an educator with over twenty years of classroom teaching experience in K-12, university, and adult education settings, has worked as a parent coach and educator since 2014, and has coordinated two state-wide government and non-profit parenting and community mental health education programs in Indiana.The creator of the HEART-STRONG Model™, Sandi uses trauma-informed coach training and somatic healing practices in her work with adults and those who parent, teach, and take care of children and teens, along with practical tools and strategies to support their growth and success. 
Things you'll learn from this episode
What developmental trauma isWhether neurodivergent kids are more likely to experience trauma or have their “little t” traumas impact them in more profound waysWhy two different kids might internalize the same experience differentlyHow are our kids' bodies hold on to trauma and what that looks likeHow PDA (pathological demand avoidance) is connected to developmental traumaSpecific modalities are most helpful for recovery for kids who have experienced traumaWhat the path toward healing from childhood trauma looks likeResources mentioned for Neurodiversity and Developmental Trauma
Sandy Lerman’s Heart Strong International websiteHeart Strong International on FacebookSandi Lerman on LinkTreeDr. Bruce PerryDr. Ross GreeneDr. Mona DelahookeThe Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MDSomatic ExperiencingEMDR TherapySupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting
Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram