The Affair Recovery Room

AffairHealing.com
  • 4.6 (255)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Honest conversations about affair recovery, with practical guidance and real hope. The Affair Recovery Room is a podcast for anyone reeling from infidelity: the betrayed, the unfaithful, and those trying to rebuild together or alone. Hosted by counselor and coach Tim Tedder of AffairHealing.com, each episode offers insight and compassion for those navigating the long road from heartbreak to healing.

  1. 2d ago

    Sexual Pleasure | Linda Landon

    For many couples, especially those recovering from infidelity, sex carries an impossible weight. The betrayed partner may feel pressure to perform, to compete, to prove something. The involved partner may be desperate to demonstrate change. And underneath it all, many people have never learned what genuinely brings them pleasure in the first place. In this second episode of our series on sexuality, intimacy coach Linda Landon offers a different path. Rather than chasing better technique or bigger outcomes, Linda's approach begins with each person coming home to their own body—learning to be present, to feel, and to receive—before reaching toward their partner. From that grounded place, she says, real intimacy becomes possible, and pleasure follows as an outcome rather than a goal. Linda speaks from lived experience. Despite being deeply embodied and sensual from childhood, she spent decades with a block that kept full sexual pleasure out of reach. At 50, during menopause, she began a journey of self-exploration that transformed her life and eventually reshaped her work as a couples coach. In this conversation, we explore: Why so many people (Linda estimates 80–85% of the women she works with) reach adulthood without knowing what brings them real sexual pleasure How early shame messages shape a lifetime of disconnection from our own bodies The problem with "male-centric" sexual timing and the pressure created by media expectations Why performative sex (sex as proving, pleasing, or achieving) leaves both partners disconnected How taking climax and penetration "off the table" can open the door to deeper intimacy Resistance as a doorway: why hitting a wall in this work is inevitable, and even welcome What this means for couples rebuilding sexual connection after betrayal, and why healing intimacy is not about better performance A guided practice for you to try right now LINKS and EXTRAS Episode Page: https://affairhealing.com/podcasts/067 Linda Landon’s website: igniteyourjoy.us — Download a free sample of Pleasure Past Fifty on the home page (with an option to receive the full book free). Sign up for my Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    Sexual Pleasure | Linda Landon

  2. Jul 22

    Sexual Shame | Jocelyn Silva

    Sexual shame rarely announces itself. It settles in early—a look on a parent's face, a warning message from the pulpit, a silence where an honest conversation should have been—and it quietly teaches us that something about who we are is wrong. In this episode of The Affair Recovery Room, Tim sits down with therapist and intimacy coach Jocelyn Silva to trace how that shame shapes us, and how it can set the stage for betrayal long before any line is crossed. Jocelyn grew up in a conservative Catholic home in Los Angeles, once dreaming of becoming a nun. Tim grew up in a strict evangelical world. Their backgrounds pushed them in different directions—she swung toward recklessness, he turned inward and shut down—but as they talk, they uncover the same root beneath both stories: neither of them ever learned to be open and honest about sexuality, and that inability to be authentic quietly eroded intimacy in their marriages. This is a candid conversation about the difference between shame and guilt, between sex and intimacy, and why Jocelyn now calls "relentless authenticity" her number one tip for a healthy sexual life. Neither of them lets shame stand as an excuse for the choices that followed, but both are honest about how it left them unprepared to build the kind of trust that makes real intimacy possible. If you carry shame from how you were raised to think about your body and desires, this one offers a way toward something more honest, more connected, and more free. Listener caution: This episode includes frank discussion of sex, sexual addiction, suicidal thoughts, and a mental health crisis. Please listen in the way that feels safest for you. LINKS and EXTRAS Episode Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/065 Jocelyn Silva website: jocelynsilva.com, Instagram: @iamjocelynsilva Recommended Book: The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How To Recover What God Intended Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    Sexual Shame | Jocelyn Silva

  3. Jul 9

    When Betrayal Begins Before an Affair

    In this first PageTalk episode of the podcast, Tim revisits his recent article The Betrayal Often Begins Before the Affair, which was posted on AffairHealing.com. Written after the release of the previous episode (Unshakeable), the article explores how betrayal often begins long before an affair, in the quiet erosion of a couple's emotional connection. Tim shares his own reflection on breaking his marriage promises years before his affair began, then makes room for another side of the story: a conversation with Steve, a client who felt the article told only half the truth. Steve describes years of feeling emotionally shut out by his wife before his own affair, and Tim uses the conversation to explore Esther Perel's insight that "the victim of the affair is not always the victim of the marriage," suggesting that both partners in a struggling marriage can find the humility to look back and the hope to move forward. LINKS and EXTRAS Episode Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/065 Article: The Betrayal Often Begins Before the Affair Building US Course & Coaching Podcast Episode: A Conversation with My Ex, part 1 Sign up for our Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    When Betrayal Begins Before an Affair

  4. Jul 2

    Unshakeable | Suzanne Leydecker

    Suzanne Leydecker built a life that looked good from the outside: a husband at Goldman Sachs, children, a home in New York. Then one night, over what had been an ordinary date-night dinner, he told her he was leaving. He'd already arranged for his mother to fly in and help her "pull herself together." In this conversation, Suzanne talks candidly about the months that followed—the summer she buried herself in fun to avoid the pain, the late-night deck conversations where she realized he was deciding whether to stay or go, and her decision to tell him to follow his heart rather than beg him to choose her. She also opens up about what came after the divorce: years of repeating the same broken patterns in new relationships, shaped by a childhood in an emotionally volatile home where she learned to cry so no one would yell at her. Suzanne and Tim have an honest, sometimes pointed exchange about a question that shows up often in affair recovery conversations: how much responsibility a betrayed partner should take for a marriage's breakdown. Suzanne pushes for a version of accountability that includes her own contributions, while Tim challenges the idea that unmet needs explain infidelity. It's a rich back-and-forth, and listeners are invited to sit with the tension rather than expect a tidy answer. Suzanne now works with women on what she calls her three pillars: personal responsibility, saying no when it's not a "hell yeah," and treating themselves and others with kindness. She writes about her journey in her book, A Woman On Top: My Journey of Self-Discovery Through Love and Money. LINKS and EXTRAS Episode Page: https://affairhealing.com/podcasts/064 Suzanne Leydecker’s website: suzanneleydecker.com Listen to Tim’s conversations with his ex: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Course & Coaching Courses

    Unshakeable | Suzanne Leydecker

  5. Jun 25

    Understanding EMDR | Laurel van de Toorn

    If you've been betrayed, you already know that the pain doesn't stay in the past. It follows you into ordinary moments—a song, a smell, a place, a glance at a phone—and suddenly you're flooded all over again. That's not weakness; it’s trauma. It deserves real treatment. In this episode, I talk with Laurel van der Toorn, trauma therapist and founder of Laurel Therapy Collective, about a modality that has helped many betrayed partners move out of that cycle of activation: EMDR. Laurel is refreshingly honest about it. She calls it "weird," and she means it. But weird doesn't mean ineffective. EMDR is one of the most empirically validated trauma treatments available, with decades of peer-reviewed research behind it. And for people stuck in the relentless loop of betrayal trauma, it may offer something that talk therapy alone often can't: relief at the neurological level. In this conversation, we cover: What trauma actually is and why it's less about what happened and more about how the brain stored it Why EMDR feels strange but works, and what bilateral stimulation actually does in the brain The eight phases of EMDR, from history-taking and resourcing all the way through processing and integration What a typical session looks like, whether in-person or virtual How targets are identified and why the most activating memory isn't always the most obvious one Why relational trauma (like betrayal) takes longer to process than a single-incident trauma How to find a qualified EMDR therapist, and what certifications actually mean Laurel also addresses common concerns, including whether EMDR is a form of hypnosis (it's not), whether you can do it on your own with an app (you shouldn't), and whether it works for everyone (nothing does, but the results can be remarkable). If you're past discovery and still not sleeping, still flooded with intrusive thoughts, still wondering if it ever gets better… this episode is for you. LINKS and EXTRAS Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/063 Laural’s Website (free EMDR webinar): laureltherapy.net EMDR website: emdria.org Our Coach & Therapist, Sharon Barbour, also offers EMDR to clients in California & Indiana. Sign up for our Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    Understanding EMDR | Laurel van de Toorn

  6. Jun 17

    The Betrayer's Pain | Dr Monique Thompson

    Most people who follow this podcast are betrayed partners, and understandably so. The pain of being cheated on is acute, disorienting, and often traumatic. The Recovery Room is committed to honoring that experience. But genuine recovery, the kind that produces lasting change and real safety in a relationship, requires more than behavior management from the person who had the affair. It requires something harder with more work “on the inside.” And in this episode, we go there. Dr. Monique Thompson, a psychotherapist in the Dallas Metroplex with more than a thousand couples in her clinical background, joins Tim to talk about the side of infidelity that rarely gets examined: the inner wounds of the involved partner. This isn't about generating sympathy for someone who broke trust. It's about understanding what actually needs to happen for change to be real. In this conversation, Tim and Monique explore: Why the person who had the affair experiences a genuine fracture of identity, and why that matters for recovery The problem with treating behavior change as the finish line How shame keeps the involved partner stuck and why it actually increases the risk of repeated harm The concept of "seemingly unimportant decisions" and how people drift toward betrayal through a long chain of uncaptured thoughts Why self-compassion isn't self-excuse; it's the gateway to authentic inner change A breathing & thought practice that helps regulate the nervous system and access honesty How EMDR therapy is being used not just for betrayed partners, but for involved partners carrying shame The difference between trauma-informed self-care (including something as simple as a daily walk) and formal trauma treatment Where to start if you've had an affair and haven't yet done any real inner work Dr. Thompson is direct, warm, and grounded in current science, and she brings a genuinely non-judgmental lens to a topic that is easy to oversimplify. Whether you're the person who was betrayed, the one who broke trust, or a couple trying to figure out what real recovery looks like together, this conversation offers something worth sitting with. LINKS and EXTRAS Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/062 Dr. Monique Thompson’s Website: doctormoniquethompson.com Monique’s Book: Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples: Tools and Exercises to Rebuild Your Relationship The Understanding WHY Course & Coaching: AffairHealing,com/why

    The Betrayer's Pain | Dr Monique Thompson

  7. Jun 9

    Trust Yourself After Being Betrayed | Zerina Derveni

    One of the most disorienting effects of betrayal is what it does to a woman's sense of self. She may have been strong, capable, even confident—and then the discovery of infidelity strips away the ground she was standing on. She doesn't just lose trust in her partner. She loses trust in herself. In this conversation, Tim talks with life coach Zerina Dervini about why betrayal hits identity so hard and how women can begin to find their way back. Zerina draws from her own story and her five-phase Self-Discovery Framework to offer a grounded, realistic path through. In this episode: The connection between betrayal and self-worth, and why infidelity destabilizes identity at its core. Why the first and most important shift is moving from Why did this happen to me? to What do I need now? What Zerina's five-phase framework looks like: Awakening → Unlearning → Exploration → Integration → Living Authentically Why strong women are sometimes the hardest hit—and what hope looks like on the other side. How fear can masquerade as intuition, and why the nervous system has to come first. The role vulnerability plays in healing, and how to approach it without being overwhelmed. Why "What are your needs?" is one of the hardest questions anyone can answer. What Zerina would say to the woman who is broken, uncertain, and doesn't know what's next. LINKS and EXTRAS Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/061 Zarina’s Website: zerinalifecoach.com Affair Healing Resource Finder: AffairHealing.com/find Suggested Reading: How Could I Have Been So Blind? Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    Trust Yourself After Being Betrayed | Zerina Derveni

  8. Jun 3

    Elisa, 6 Years Later: Life After He Left

    Six years ago, Elisa's husband told her he was leaving their marriage for another woman. In the original three-part "Elisa's Story" series, she shared the raw experience of that first year: the shock, the grief, the impact on her sons, and the anxiety of navigating co-parenting with the woman who had replaced her. Now, six years later, Tim Tedder revisits that conversation with Elisa to explore what long-term healing actually looks like. What has changed? What still hurts? How does she interact with her Ex? How are her children doing, and what happened when she came face-to-face with the other woman? And what does moving forward, including stepping back into dating, look like after a betrayal that upended everything? This episode is for anyone who wonders whether the pain ever truly lifts and what life on the other side of devastation can be like. 00:00 Introduction01:40 Elisa reflects on her original interview03:10 Interacting with the Other Woman12:45 Reflections on interactions with her Ex20:20 Considering her sons29:00 Dating again33:40 Concluding thoughts LINKS and EXTRAS Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/060 The original episodes of Elisa’s Story: 1-The Betrayal, 2-Clarity, Pain, Choices, 3-The Children, The AP Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    Elisa, 6 Years Later: Life After He Left
See All (67)

4.6
out of 5
255 Ratings

About

Honest conversations about affair recovery, with practical guidance and real hope. The Affair Recovery Room is a podcast for anyone reeling from infidelity: the betrayed, the unfaithful, and those trying to rebuild together or alone. Hosted by counselor and coach Tim Tedder of AffairHealing.com, each episode offers insight and compassion for those navigating the long road from heartbreak to healing.

Information

  • Creator
    AffairHealing.com
  • Years Active
    2016 - 2026
  • Episodes
    67
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Content copyrighted by Tim Tedder and Currents Services LLC.
  • Show Website
    The Affair Recovery Room