The Affair Recovery Room

AffairHealing.com
  • 4.6 (253)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Honest conversations about affair recovery, with practical guidance and real hope. The Affair Recovery Room is a podcast for anyone reeling from infidelity: the betrayed, the unfaithful, and those trying to rebuild together or alone. Hosted by counselor and coach Tim Tedder of AffairHealing.com, each episode offers insight and compassion for those navigating the long road from heartbreak to healing.

  1. Understanding EMDR | Laurel van de Toorn

    20h ago

    Understanding EMDR | Laurel van de Toorn

    If you've been betrayed, you already know that the pain doesn't stay in the past. It follows you into ordinary moments—a song, a smell, a place, a glance at a phone—and suddenly you're flooded all over again. That's not weakness; it’s trauma. It deserves real treatment. In this episode, I talk with Laurel van der Toorn, trauma therapist and founder of Laurel Therapy Collective, about a modality that has helped many betrayed partners move out of that cycle of activation: EMDR. Laurel is refreshingly honest about it. She calls it "weird," and she means it. But weird doesn't mean ineffective. EMDR is one of the most empirically validated trauma treatments available, with decades of peer-reviewed research behind it. And for people stuck in the relentless loop of betrayal trauma, it may offer something that talk therapy alone often can't: relief at the neurological level. In this conversation, we cover: What trauma actually is and why it's less about what happened and more about how the brain stored it Why EMDR feels strange but works, and what bilateral stimulation actually does in the brain The eight phases of EMDR, from history-taking and resourcing all the way through processing and integration What a typical session looks like, whether in-person or virtual How targets are identified and why the most activating memory isn't always the most obvious one Why relational trauma (like betrayal) takes longer to process than a single-incident trauma How to find a qualified EMDR therapist, and what certifications actually mean Laurel also addresses common concerns, including whether EMDR is a form of hypnosis (it's not), whether you can do it on your own with an app (you shouldn't), and whether it works for everyone (nothing does, but the results can be remarkable). If you're past discovery and still not sleeping, still flooded with intrusive thoughts, still wondering if it ever gets better… this episode is for you. LINKS and EXTRAS Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/063 Laural’s Website (free EMDR webinar): laureltherapy.net EMDR website: emdria.org Our Coach & Therapist, Sharon Barbour, also offers EMDR to clients in California & Indiana. Sign up for our Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    22 min
  2. The Betrayer's Pain | Dr Monique Thompson

    Jun 17

    The Betrayer's Pain | Dr Monique Thompson

    Most people who follow this podcast are betrayed partners, and understandably so. The pain of being cheated on is acute, disorienting, and often traumatic. The Recovery Room is committed to honoring that experience. But genuine recovery, the kind that produces lasting change and real safety in a relationship, requires more than behavior management from the person who had the affair. It requires something harder with more work “on the inside.” And in this episode, we go there. Dr. Monique Thompson, a psychotherapist in the Dallas Metroplex with more than a thousand couples in her clinical background, joins Tim to talk about the side of infidelity that rarely gets examined: the inner wounds of the involved partner. This isn't about generating sympathy for someone who broke trust. It's about understanding what actually needs to happen for change to be real. In this conversation, Tim and Monique explore: Why the person who had the affair experiences a genuine fracture of identity, and why that matters for recovery The problem with treating behavior change as the finish line How shame keeps the involved partner stuck and why it actually increases the risk of repeated harm The concept of "seemingly unimportant decisions" and how people drift toward betrayal through a long chain of uncaptured thoughts Why self-compassion isn't self-excuse; it's the gateway to authentic inner change A breathing & thought practice that helps regulate the nervous system and access honesty How EMDR therapy is being used not just for betrayed partners, but for involved partners carrying shame The difference between trauma-informed self-care (including something as simple as a daily walk) and formal trauma treatment Where to start if you've had an affair and haven't yet done any real inner work Dr. Thompson is direct, warm, and grounded in current science, and she brings a genuinely non-judgmental lens to a topic that is easy to oversimplify. Whether you're the person who was betrayed, the one who broke trust, or a couple trying to figure out what real recovery looks like together, this conversation offers something worth sitting with. LINKS and EXTRAS Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/062 Dr. Monique Thompson’s Website: doctormoniquethompson.com Monique’s Book: Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples: Tools and Exercises to Rebuild Your Relationship The Understanding WHY Course & Coaching: AffairHealing,com/why

    35 min
  3. Trust Yourself After Being Betrayed | Zerina Derveni

    Jun 9

    Trust Yourself After Being Betrayed | Zerina Derveni

    One of the most disorienting effects of betrayal is what it does to a woman's sense of self. She may have been strong, capable, even confident—and then the discovery of infidelity strips away the ground she was standing on. She doesn't just lose trust in her partner. She loses trust in herself. In this conversation, Tim talks with life coach Zerina Dervini about why betrayal hits identity so hard and how women can begin to find their way back. Zerina draws from her own story and her five-phase Self-Discovery Framework to offer a grounded, realistic path through. In this episode: The connection between betrayal and self-worth, and why infidelity destabilizes identity at its core. Why the first and most important shift is moving from Why did this happen to me? to What do I need now? What Zerina's five-phase framework looks like: Awakening → Unlearning → Exploration → Integration → Living Authentically Why strong women are sometimes the hardest hit—and what hope looks like on the other side. How fear can masquerade as intuition, and why the nervous system has to come first. The role vulnerability plays in healing, and how to approach it without being overwhelmed. Why "What are your needs?" is one of the hardest questions anyone can answer. What Zerina would say to the woman who is broken, uncertain, and doesn't know what's next. LINKS and EXTRAS Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/061 Zarina’s Website: zerinalifecoach.com Affair Healing Resource Finder: AffairHealing.com/find Suggested Reading: How Could I Have Been So Blind? Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    29 min
  4. Elisa, 6 Years Later: Life After He Left

    Jun 3

    Elisa, 6 Years Later: Life After He Left

    Six years ago, Elisa's husband told her he was leaving their marriage for another woman. In the original three-part "Elisa's Story" series, she shared the raw experience of that first year: the shock, the grief, the impact on her sons, and the anxiety of navigating co-parenting with the woman who had replaced her. Now, six years later, Tim Tedder revisits that conversation with Elisa to explore what long-term healing actually looks like. What has changed? What still hurts? How does she interact with her Ex? How are her children doing, and what happened when she came face-to-face with the other woman? And what does moving forward, including stepping back into dating, look like after a betrayal that upended everything? This episode is for anyone who wonders whether the pain ever truly lifts and what life on the other side of devastation can be like. 00:00 Introduction01:40 Elisa reflects on her original interview03:10 Interacting with the Other Woman12:45 Reflections on interactions with her Ex20:20 Considering her sons29:00 Dating again33:40 Concluding thoughts LINKS and EXTRAS Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/060 The original episodes of Elisa’s Story: 1-The Betrayal, 2-Clarity, Pain, Choices, 3-The Children, The AP Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    39 min
  5. The Broken Marriage, Her Exit Affair | Joni Woods

    May 27

    The Broken Marriage, Her Exit Affair | Joni Woods

    Joni Woods grew up with a clear picture of what marriage was supposed to look like—and an equally clear sense of what a faithful wife was supposed to do when it didn't. For fifteen years, she stayed in a marriage defined by criticism, control, and abuse, holding the appearance of a healthy relationship together while her church community watched. It wasn't until her children became targets of her husband's behavior that she finally filed for divorce. On her way out, she had an affair with a married man. In this conversation, Joni and Tim talk honestly about the pressures that kept her silent for so long, what eventually broke through that silence, and how she thinks about the affair now, including what it gave her, what it cost her, and whether she has regrets. Tim frames Joni's affair using the Exit Affair category introduced in episode fourteen: a relationship that functions less as a pursuit of something new and more as an escape hatch from something unbearable. That framing doesn't erase the complexity, but it does help make sense of choices that might otherwise seem hard to understand. LINKS and EXTRAS Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/059 Joni’s Website: JoniWoods.com Joni’s Book: Burned, Blocked, and Better Than Ever Bonus Audio: Pressured to Stay in a Broken Marriage (5-minutes of our conversation not included in this episode) Understanding WHY Course Preview Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    22 min
  6. Men's Groups: Show Up. Be Real. | Jason Lange

    May 19

    Men's Groups: Show Up. Be Real. | Jason Lange

    What makes a man emotionally unavailable? And what does it take to change that? In this episode, Tim Tedder sits down with Jason Lange, a men's coach and group facilitator, to explore one of the most underaddressed dimensions of relationship healing: the inner world of men. Jason draws on his own journey to explain how many men enter adulthood without two fundamental skills: self-awareness and the ability to communicate what they feel. The cultural script of masculinity, built around stoicism, self-reliance, and the suppression of vulnerability, doesn't just leave men emotionally isolated. It quietly undermines their capacity for the kind of intimacy that healthy relationships require. The conversation moves naturally into the territory of infidelity, not just as a relationship crisis, but as a symptom of deeper unmet needs and undeveloped skills. Jason shares what he consistently sees in men on both sides of betrayal: those who cheated often lacked the ability to communicate what was missing or to set honest boundaries; those who were cheated on often struggle to understand their own role in the relational disconnect that developed over time. But this episode is bigger than infidelity. Jason makes a compelling case for why every man should be in a men's group—not just men in crisis, but any man who wants to grow. Men's groups offer something rare: a structured, accountable community where men learn to connect with their own bodies and emotional lives, practice difficult conversations, and receive honest feedback without shame. As male loneliness continues to rise, Jason argues that this kind of relational infrastructure isn't a luxury; it's essential. LINKS and EXTRAS Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/058 Jason Lang’s Website: https://evolutionary.men Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Affair Healing Online Courses Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    29 min
  7. A Conversation with My Ex: Relationships After Divorce

    May 12

    A Conversation with My Ex: Relationships After Divorce

    The hardest part of healing isn't the moment you decide to forgive. It's every ordinary moment after that—the birthday parties, the graduations, the holidays—where you choose it again and again. In this final episode of A Conversation with My Ex, Tim and Konnie talk about the relationship they've built in the years since their divorce. It hasn't been without struggle. There have been seasons of tension, moments of hurt, and the ongoing challenge of staying cooperative when old wounds made that feel unreasonable. But they kept choosing it for their children, and for themselves. Their children speak in this episode, too. Now adults with families of their own, they share what it has meant to grow up watching two people refuse to let the worst chapter of their family's story become the defining one. Their children and their grandchildren are growing up knowing the full story and witnessing firsthand what genuine healing can produce. Konnie also shares that the cooperative, caring relationship she and Tim have built is one her current husband not only knows about but fully supports. This episode is a true account of what becomes possible when two people decide that their shared future matters more than their painful past. LINKS and EXTRAS Episode Page: https://affairhealing.com/podcasts/057 Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    19 min
  8. The Children's Experience of My Affair, Our Divorce

    May 5

    The Children's Experience of My Affair, Our Divorce

    Affairs often have multiple victims. This episode gives voice to some of them. Tim and Konnie's story has been told, in their own words, across two honest episodes. But there were others in that story, too. Five children who didn't choose what happened, didn't cause it, and couldn't stop it, but who carried it nonetheless, each in their own way. In this bonus episode, released before the final conversation between Tim and Konnie, two of those children speak. Their oldest son and youngest daughter offer their own perspective on what it was like to grow up through their father’s affair, the divorce, and everything that followed. They weren't coached toward a particular conclusion. They were simply invited to be honest. Their perspectives are windows into the experiences of children who had no say in the story they were handed, and into what it took to find their footing within it. If you are a parent who has put your children through something like this, listen carefully. This one is for you. LINKS and EXTRAS Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/056 Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change. Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

    21 min
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4.6
out of 5
253 Ratings

About

Honest conversations about affair recovery, with practical guidance and real hope. The Affair Recovery Room is a podcast for anyone reeling from infidelity: the betrayed, the unfaithful, and those trying to rebuild together or alone. Hosted by counselor and coach Tim Tedder of AffairHealing.com, each episode offers insight and compassion for those navigating the long road from heartbreak to healing.

Information

  • Creator
    AffairHealing.com
  • Years Active
    2016 - 2026
  • Episodes
    63
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Content copyrighted by Tim Tedder and Currents Services LLC.
  • Show Website
    The Affair Recovery Room

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