Charisma Quotient: Build Confidence, Make Connections and Find Love

Kimmy Seltzer
  • 4.7 (147)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She's consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

  1. 13h ago

    Menopause, Dating & Desire: The Conversation Every Woman Needs to Hear with Dr. Debra Durst

    Are menopause symptoms making you question your confidence and attractiveness—especially when it comes to dating? What if the secret to reigniting your energy, sensuality, and sense of self is as much about biology as it is about sexy confidence and mindset? In Episode 454 of The Charisma Quotient, "Menopause, Dating & Desire: The Conversation Every Woman Needs to Hear with Dr. Debra Durst" Kimmy sits down with Dr. Debra Durst, a leading regenerative medicine expert, to talk about the often-unspoken intersection of menopause, sexual wellness, and the dating world for women in their 40s, 50s, and beyond. In this episode, Kimmy shares her experience working with women whose desire and confidence have disappeared after menopause, underscoring the crucial link between hormones, self-perception and sexy confidence. Dr. Durst breaks down the science behind desire—explaining how optimizing hormones can spark not only better sex but also a newfound zest for life and dating, even after years out of the game. They discuss actionable solutions for women seeking to reclaim their sensuality, including comprehensive hormone evaluations, building body image confidence, and practical flirting techniques.  You'll hear: The link between menopause, hormones, and loss of desire—and why it matters for dating at any age Why confidence is not just a mindset, but is also rooted in physical and biological changes Step-by-step insight into what a comprehensive hormone evaluation looks like—and why one-size-fits-all medicine doesn't work The role of body image and self-perception in dating, flirting and sexual satisfaction Practical tips women can make to improve their desire, flirt skills, body image and sexy confidence And if you're ready to step up your game in real life action, check out Kimmy's signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat this September. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, flirt, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as you will work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  2. 6d ago

    ICYMI: Ditch The Dating Apps and Meet IRL

    Are you tired of the endless swiping and superficial interactions on dating apps? Do you long for the days where you could meet someone in person?  In Episode 453 of The Charisma Quotient, "ICYMI: Ditch The Dating Apps and Meet IRL" Kimmy delves into the world of real-life connections and the lost art of flirting in person. She shares riveting anecdotes of individuals transitioning from disillusionment with digital dating to finding love through sincere real-life encounters and gives tangible tips on how you can too.   In this episode, Kimmy shares success stories of going out with clients who believed the days of meeting people in real life were over and transforming them into flirtatious, charismatic daters who aren't afraid to approach people. She talks about the power of initiating conversations and not being afraid to put yourself out there.  Kimmy outlines simple actions you can take to meet people IRL.  You'll hear about the significance of saying "hi" and sharing intimate details to foster meaningful connections, steps to maintain open body language and position yourself for potential interactions and tips on where to meet people.  Kimmy shares how to address the concerns and anxieties about re-entering the dating world after a long absence     You'll hear: Why chemistry happens in person and the impact of practicing offline social skills  The story of a client who found real-world connection by exercising her "flirt muscle" The domino effect of saying yes to face-to-face interactions and building social confidence  Step-by-step tips for meeting people IRL, including keeping an open mind and body language basics  How where you position yourself in social settings can affect who you meet   And if you're ready to step up your game in real life action, check out her signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat this September. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, flirt, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as we work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  3. Jul 17

    The Protection Paradox That Keeps You Safe But Single: Coaching with Kimmy

    Have you ever felt like you're doing everything right—putting yourself out there, looking your best, smiling at the world—yet you seem to blend into the background, totally unseen when it comes to love and connection? You might be suffering from the Protection Paradox. You may want love, connection, and partnership, but unconsciously you are doing everything possible to protect yourself from the very vulnerability that love requires.  In Episode 452 of The Charisma Quotient, "The Protection Paradox That Keeps You Safe But Single: Coaching with Kimmy" Kimmy does a coaching session with Layla that explores the transition from vibrant, magnetic energy post-divorce to years of feeling unseen, and what it takes to rediscover openness and self-worth from within, not just through external validation.    In this heart-opening episode, Kimmy dives deep into what she calls the "Invisible Woman Syndrome" and the "Hidden Protection Paradox"—the phenomenon where our fierce desire for connection is silently sabotaged by our own acts of self-protection. Together, they unpack the roots of invisibility, the importance of practice and mindset shifts, and actionable steps anyone can take to break old habits and move toward genuine connection.   You'll hear: The root causes of "Invisible Woman Syndrome" and how self-protection becomes an invisible barrier. Layla's powerful story—her journey from being magnetic to feeling invisible after divorce. A transformational coaching dialogue about building self-worth from within instead of relying on others' validation. Why embracing discomfort is essential to break out of old patterns and reclaim visibility. Actionable "practice mode" dating strategies, including playful mindset shifts and removing pressure from the dating process.   If you're ready to reclaim your self-worth, one place to start is Kimmy's Sexy Confidence Workshop coming up this month. It's designed to help you reconnect with the most magnetic version of yourself so you can stop hiding, stop second-guessing yourself, and start showing up with confidence in dating and in life. You can find all the details at www.stophatingdating.com. And if you're ready for a true transformation, check out her signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat this September. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as we work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  4. Jul 9

    How Your Hyper-Independence Is Blocking You From Love

    Have you ever found yourself saying, "I don't need anyone—I can do it myself"? Do you sometimes wonder if your fierce independence is actually holding you back from the love and connection you truly desire? In Episode 451 of The Charisma Quotient, "How Your Hyper-Independence Is Blocking You From Love" Kimmy dives deep into the concept of hyper-independence and how it's often mistaken for strength and confidence, especially among those successful in their second act of life.  In this episode, Kimmy shares real-life examples, including clients who present themselves as having it all together but struggle with letting someone else in emotionally. She unpacks why and how hyper-independence can quietly become an invisible barrier to intimacy, vulnerability, and deep connection—often stemming from early life experiences, heartbreak, or even professional successes that reinforce the belief we have to do it all alone. Kimmy outlines the hidden costs of hyper-independence—how it can make your life look full on the outside while leaving you emotionally lonely or attracting emotionally unavailable partners. She provides practical steps and exercises to help you open up to receiving, be more vulnerable, and create true interdependence in relationships.  You'll hear: The difference between healthy independence and hyper-independence in relationships Why successful and accomplished people struggle most with receiving love The hidden origins of hyper-independence and how it becomes a survival strategy Key warning signs that your independence may be keeping you single How hyper-independent people unintentionally train others not to give or care for them Tips to reduce this hyper-independence and create more space for love If you resonated with this episode and want help getting rid of the hyper-indepence, one place to start is Kimmy's Sexy Confidence Workshop coming up this month. It's designed to help you reconnect with the most magnetic version of yourself so you can stop hiding, stop second-guessing yourself, and start showing up with confidence in dating and in life. You can find all the details at www.stophatingdating.com. And if you're ready for a true transformation, check out her signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat this September. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as we work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  5. Jul 3

    From Invisible to Irresistible: Where Are They Now With Lori

    Are you wondering if it's too late to break old patterns or date when you feel like you're starting over?  Are you struggling to move past self-doubt, loneliness, or feeling like your best days are behind you? In Episode 450 of The Charisma Quotient, "From Invisible to Irresistible: Where Are They Now With Lori" Kimmy sits down with her client Lori, a woman who completely transformed her dating and personal life after decades of putting others first and feeling lost after divorce.    In this inspiring episode, Lori candidly shares how she overcame her fear of rejection, loneliness, and the self-esteem struggles that held her back from both dating and expressing her true self after working with Kimmy. Together, they discuss the practical steps and mindset shifts that helped Lori move out of her comfort zone—from joining singles groups and attending retreats to shaking up her wardrobe and practicing the art of receiving.  As Lori's story unfolds, listeners will learn how her willingness to be vulnerable, build confidence, and embrace her femininity unlocked not just a great relationship, but also a deeper connection to herself. You'll hear: What pushed Lori to stop waiting for change and finally seek help on her dating journey The unique challenges and loneliness that come with dating after divorce and losing your social circle How Lori tackled self-image issues and began to see herself as sexy, confident, and worthy Why learning to receive—and not just give—is a crucial skill for finding partnership The game-changing impact of joining workshops, retreats, and even revamping a wardrobe   If this conversation resonated with you and you've been feeling disconnected from your confidence, your femininity, or the woman you see in the mirror, Kimmy has her signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat coming up in September.  This isn't just another wellness retreat where you sit around talking about confidence. It's an immersive experience where you actually practice becoming her. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as we work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  6. Jun 25

    The Fear of Being Seen: How Finding Your Voice Changes Your Dating Life with Rachel McCord

    Do you ever feel like you're hiding a part of yourself, whether in dating, relationships, or even your everyday life? Have past experiences, heartbreak, or even your own inner critic made you afraid to truly be seen and heard? In Episode 449 of The Charisma Quotient, "The Fear of Being Seen: How Finding Your Voice Changes Your Dating Life with Rachel McCord" Kimmy is joined by the inspiring Rachel McCord—television personality, author, founder of the McCord List—who opens up about her own journey from trauma and invisibility to becoming an "influencer of influencers.   In this moving episode, Kimmy and Rachel dive deep into the fears that hold us back from revealing our true selves, especially in the dating world. Together, they unpack how childhood experiences, people-pleasing, and even success can contribute to staying small, and what it takes to truly rise above those patterns. Kimmy and Rachel discuss the pivotal moments that led each to redefine their confidence and purpose. They explore practical strategies to overcome fear, shift perspective, and build authentic self-worth—highlighting why embracing your own story matters not just for yourself, but for those you're destined to help. From setting boundaries and filling your own cup, to using faith and mindset work to "starve fear and feed faith," this episode is packed with actionable wisdom and raw, real talk about what it takes to be truly visible in your life and relationships.   You'll hear: The hidden ways fear of being seen sabotages your confidence and relationships A heartfelt transformation story about reclaiming self-image and confidence after years of invisibility Rachel McCord's journey from a shy, trauma-impacted childhood to building a powerful platform The key mindset shifts that allow you to take up space and let your true self shine How being a chronic "helper" can lead to lopsided, draining relationships—and how to change it   If this conversation resonated with you and you've been feeling disconnected from your confidence, your femininity, or the woman you see in the mirror, Kimmy has her signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat coming up in September.  This isn't just another wellness retreat where you sit around talking about confidence. It's an immersive experience where you actually practice becoming her. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as we work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  7. Jun 18

    Why People-Pleasers Stay Too Long in Unavailable Relationships: Coaching with Kimmy

    Have you ever found yourself giving endlessly in relationships, hoping for change that never comes? Do you wonder why it's so hard to let go of someone who's not fully available or why you keep waiting for love to show up the way you deserve?  In Episode 448 of The Charisma Quotient, "Why People-Pleasers Stay Too Long in Unavailable Relationships:  Coaching with Kimmy" Kimmy does a heartfelt coaching session with Mischael, who shares her journey of navigating a two-year-long distance "situationship" as a people pleaser. In this episode, Kimmy unpacks the intersection between people pleasing, emotional attachment, and scarcity thinking, especially for those who see the best in others and find themselves waiting for someone else to change. Kimmy and Mischael explore how habits from childhood, past relationship experiences, and the lack of sexy confidence keep empathetic people stuck—and how to finally break free. You'll hear: The four main reasons "nice people" stay too long in unfulfilling relationships How people pleasing and confusing potential with reality keep you stuck Mischael's powerful story of a two-year "relationship" that never moved from fantasy to reality How childhood family roles and past marriages shape your beliefs about loyalty and sacrifice The emotional addiction to breadcrumbs of attention and intermittent reinforcement If this conversation resonated with you and you've been feeling disconnected from your confidence, your femininity, or the woman you see in the mirror, Kimmy has her signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat coming up in September.  This isn't just another wellness retreat where you sit around talking about confidence. It's an immersive experience where you actually practice becoming her. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as we work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

  8. Jun 12

    Beauty Isn't Confidence: Inside and Out with Supermodel Sofia Miagkikh

    What if everything you believed about beauty, confidence, and attraction was based on a myth? Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought you needed to change something before putting yourself out there?  In Episode 447 of The Charisma Quotient, "Beauty Isn't Confidence: Inside and Out with Supermodel Sofia Miagkikh" Kimmy is joined by internationally recognized fashion model Sofia Miagkikh to peel back the layers on the persistent myth that beauty alone creates real confidence and lasting attraction.   Kimmy opens with a look at how changes in self-image—especially after major life and body transitions—can erode confidence, leading people to hide from social and dating opportunities. The conversation shifts from Kimmy's work helping clients rediscover their sexy confidence after setbacks to Sophia's vulnerable and eye-opening journey through the modeling world, where comparison, rejection, and feeling "not enough" are everyday realities. Together, Kimmy and Sophia explore the pressures—and pitfalls—of seeking external validation, comparing the model experience to the universal dating struggle of not feeling "good enough." They discuss practical ways anyone can embody confident, magnetic energy regardless of age, body, or life stage. Sophia shares pro tips from the runway and her own healing journey post-toxic relationships, while Kimmy connects the dots between posture, presence, and attracting healthier connections. This heart-to-heart leaves listeners with inspiration and tactical steps to reclaim their self-worth, express their authentic selves, and remember that real confidence starts from within.   You'll hear: Why the belief that "beauty = confidence and attraction" keeps people stuck in dating and life How aging, body changes, and life transitions impact self-image and social confidence Behind-the-scenes insights from the modeling industry—including self-doubt, comparison, and being taken advantage of Tips from Sophia Michkich on regaining confidence, building healthy boundaries, and healing after toxic relationships The role of therapy, joy, and solo activities in rediscovering your inner model and queen energy   If this conversation resonated with you and you've been feeling disconnected from your confidence, your femininity, or the woman you see in the mirror, Kimmy has her signature Spark Your Sexy Retreat coming up in September.  This isn't just another wellness retreat where you sit around talking about confidence. It's an immersive experience where you actually practice becoming her. You'll receive a professional makeover, learn how to dress for the body you have today, participate in a professional photoshoot, and even step into your own runway energy as we work on movement, presence, body language, and the art of owning a room.  To register go to https://evolveretreats.co/spark-your-sexy/ or askkimmy.com to book a call to learn more. Hurry spots are going fast! Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

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About

Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She's consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

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