The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne

Kim John Payne/Center for Social Sustainability
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Weekly insights on children and parenting from Simplicity Parenting author Kim John Payne.

  1. #299: If Rhythms Need To Change

    FEB 11

    #299: If Rhythms Need To Change

    In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how families can navigate changes in rhythms while still preserving the security that predictability provides. He explains that when a regular caregiver is unavailable for bath time or bedtime, previewing the change earlier in the day helps a child take it in and prepare. By letting a child know at breakfast or lunch what will be different that evening, parents give them time to adjust rather than springing a surprise at the last moment. Kim highlights the value of micro rhythms (the small "and then" steps that make up a routine) because when children know exactly how something goes, they can guide another caregiver through it with confidence. This sense of agency transforms the child from a passive participant into someone who feels ownership over their world. The same principle applies when handing routines to babysitters or grandparents: written steps and a child who knows the drill makes everyone feel more capable and reduces disruption. Kim encourages parents to invite children to show what comes next, letting them self-navigate through familiar sequences and take pride in their competence 🏠 Simple Family Living  📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    9 min
  2. #295: Kindling a Child's Competency

    JAN 15

    #295: Kindling a Child's Competency

    In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how small, repeated household rituals build both motor skills and a sense of competency in children. He explains that micro rhythms (the little "hows" of daily life like setting the table, clearing dishes, or preparing for bath time) create more than just predictability and safety. When children perform these tasks in the same way over and over, they develop fine and gross motor skills while establishing neural pathways that support learning and coordination. Kim emphasizes that this repetition also builds proprioception, helping children understand where they are in space. Beyond the physical benefits, rhythmical home care gives children a profound sense of agency and accomplishment in a world where they have limited control. By doing these small tasks independently and successfully, children develop the confidence that comes from knowing "I can do this." Kim encourages parents to see these micro rhythms not as chores but as opportunities to kindle competency that will serve children throughout their lives. 📓Simplicity Parenting Family Life Care Professionals Seminar 🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne

    10 min
  3. #287: Saying, Feeling & Doing Sorry

    12/18/2025

    #287: Saying, Feeling & Doing Sorry

    In this monthly episode of Simplicity Parenting, Kim John Payne explores the difference between asking children to say sorry and helping them genuinely make things right. While acknowledging that saying sorry has value, Kim cautions against forcing apologies, which often leads to defensiveness, shame, or empty words. Instead, he invites parents to look beneath the apology and focus on what truly matters: a child recognizing that something crossed a family value and taking responsibility in a way that feels real and restorative. When children feel pressured or shamed, Kim explains, they are far more likely to deny or resist rather than reflect. Kim introduces the idea of “doing sorry” as an alternative and often more meaningful path. This might include repairing harm through actions, offering something meaningful to the other child, or simply showing genuine remorse through presence and emotion. He describes three forms of apology: saying sorry, feeling sorry, and doing sorry, and emphasizes that any combination of these can be appropriate. By giving children time to calm down and guiding them gently toward repair, parents help them develop empathy and accountability without humiliation. The episode reminds listeners that true reconciliation grows from connection, not coercion. 🏠 Simple Family Living  📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    12 min
  4. #287: Slow, Low and No Means No

    11/19/2025

    #287: Slow, Low and No Means No

    In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how parents can set clear, loving boundaries in ways that truly reach their children. He explains that when we slow our speech and lower our tone, children are better able to process what we say and feel our calm authority. Speaking slowly helps a message land without repetition, and a lower, grounded voice communicates steadiness and care rather than frustration. Kim encourages parents to “inhabit” the no, to let it come from a calm, centered place rather than from irritation or haste. He describes how children’s mirror neurons naturally respond to the energy and posture of the adult in front of them. When parents slow down, breathe, and settle their bodies, children follow that movement toward calm and security. A firm “no” delivered with warmth and confidence helps a child feel safe, even if they do not like the limit in the moment. Kim closes the episode by announcing the launch of Simple Family Living, a new online platform offering workshops, guided parenting journeys, and a full, searchable archive of Simplicity Parenting themes. 🏠 Simple Family Living ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    14 min
  5. #286: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Five - Anika Reclaims Her True Self

    11/05/2025

    #286: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Five - Anika Reclaims Her True Self

    In this final part of the five-part Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens series, Kim John Payne concludes “Annika’s Story,” the true account of a middle school girl learning to reclaim her sense of self after a painful fall from popularity. Following the cheating incident and the loss of her so-called friends, Annika faces deep loneliness and the sting of exclusion. Yet in the quiet of that isolation, she begins to rediscover who she really is. With the gentle support of her former friend Danielle and a new ally, Skylar, Annika learns that real belonging comes from honesty, kindness, and being true to herself.Kim reflects on how these experiences mirror what so many young people face when trying to fit in, how easily self-worth can become tangled in social approval, and how freeing it is when they realize they can simply be themselves. The story closes on a hopeful note, reminding listeners that even painful moments of loss can become the ground where genuine confidence and connection take root. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    17 min
  6. #285: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Four - The Compromises Anika Makes

    10/29/2025

    #285: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Four - The Compromises Anika Makes

    In this fourth part of the five-part Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens series, Kim John Payne continues reading from “Annika’s Story,” following the seventh grader as she becomes more deeply entangled in her desire to fit in with the popular group. When Annika’s mother unexpectedly sees her dressed in a way that reflects the influence of her new friends, Annika experiences a moment of painful self-awareness. Her mother’s silent disapproval becomes a mirror that reveals how much she has changed, and Annika begins to feel the discomfort of living out of alignment with who she truly is.As the story unfolds, Annika’s need for acceptance draws her into increasingly compromising situations, culminating in a serious lapse in judgment that threatens her integrity and reputation. Kim reflects on how these moments, though painful, can become turning points in a young person’s development if they are met with guidance, patience, and understanding rather than judgment. He reminds listeners that this kind of steady support is at the heart of the Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens Care Professionals Seminar, which helps parents and educators strengthen the confidence and self-awareness children need to stay true to themselves. 🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training 📓Emotionally Resilient Tweens & Teens Care Professionals Seminar ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    14 min
  7. #284: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Three - Anika struggles to fit in

    10/22/2025

    #284: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Three - Anika struggles to fit in

    In this third part of the five-part series on Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens, Kim John Payne reads aloud “Annika’s Story” from the book he co-authored with Luis Fernando Llosa. The story follows Annika, a seventh grader who moves to a new school and struggles with the temptation to change herself to fit in with a popular group. At first she is thrilled to be included, but little by little she begins to lose touch with who she really is, her confidence, her interests, and her natural kindness. Through Annika’s experience, Kim reflects on how easily children can give up too much of themselves for acceptance and how important it is for parents and educators to help them stay connected to their authentic selves. He reminds listeners that belonging should never come at the cost of identity and that caring adults can gently guide children back to their center when they start to drift. Kim also shares that this theme is at the heart of the Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens Care Professionals Seminar, which helps professionals support families in building true confidence and social resilience. 🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training 📓Emotionally Resilient Tweens & Teens Care Professionals Seminar ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    16 min
  8. #283: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Two - Helping Children Respond to Teasing Without Reacting

    10/15/2025

    #283: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Two - Helping Children Respond to Teasing Without Reacting

    In this second part of the five-part series on Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens, Kim John Payne continues exploring how parents can guide children through difficult social experiences. Drawing from Chapter Four of the book, he focuses on helping children understand their emotional reactivity when they are teased or excluded. Through the story of a boy named Tony, Kim illustrates how teasing often continues not because of a child’s shortcomings, but because strong reactions feed the behavior of the child teasing them. He explains that when children learn to stay centered, they reclaim their power and reduce the payoff for those who provoke them. Kim offers practical ways for parents to teach this skill, such as practicing calm reactions at home, planning responses together, and sometimes even using humor to defuse tension. He also acknowledges how painful it can be for children to face these truths and encourages parents to provide reassurance and hope while keeping conversations short, natural, and consistent. Even when children push back or claim they already know what to do, Kim reminds parents to stay close and emotionally steady. The heart of this episode is a message of perseverance. Children to find confidence and strength within themselves, one small step at a time. 🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training 📓Emotionally Resilient Tweens & Teens Care Professionals Seminar ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store

    23 min
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Weekly insights on children and parenting from Simplicity Parenting author Kim John Payne.

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