Enneagram and Marriage

Christa Hardin, MA
  • 4.5 (201)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

The Enneagram and Marriage Podcast, hosted by Christa Hardin, MA, is rooted in two decades of experience counseling and coaching couples. On top of her expert marriage advice, Christa uses the Enneagram to add another layer of understanding in how we work as individuals and gives us deeper insight into how we connect and shine together in marriage and relationships across the collective community.

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  1. 2d ago

    Play as a Path Back to Desire: How Fun Reignites Your Sexual Intimacy

    Today, Christa reveals the surprising other half of the connection coin when it comes to sexual intimacy: desire does not only need safety, it needs aliveness. Christa names the play deficit that creeps into long marriages as we become expert co-managers of a household and forget how to delight in each other, and shares Amy Muise's fascinating research on self-expansion, the finding that novel, creative activities done together are directly linked to higher sexual desire in long-term couples, even for those genuinely struggling with low desire. Come learn about play as the neurological fuel for wanting, a kind of foreplay that lowers the brake and presses the accelerator at once! Watch on YouTube! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  2. 2d ago • Subscribers Only

    Subscriber Series: The Otherness Effect: Why Mystery Keeps Desire Alive

    Here, Christa goes deeper into one of the most fascinating paradoxes in all of desire research: being deeply known fuels desire, and yet being a little bit unknown does too. She unpacks the concept of otherness, drawing on Amy Muise's research showing that while closeness builds the bond, it is actually seeing your partner as a separate, surprising, still-unfolding person that most powerfully fuels sexual desire. She explains why total merging, becoming roommates and co-managers who experience each other as extensions of themselves, can quietly dim the spark even in close and happy marriages, and how to restore the otherness that keeps wanting alive: pursuing your own growth, watching your spouse in their element, and staying genuinely curious rather than assuming you already know everything about them. It ties beautifully back to being seen, known, and wanted, being known and yet never fully knowable is what keeps love alive. Rich, surprising, and full of hope. Listen here!

  3. 4d ago

    Seen, Known, and Wanted: The Three Keys to Real Sexual Intimacy

    Why do so many couples feel stuck in the bedroom even after decades of marriage? Christa goes straight at the real reason in this episode, the armor we put on to avoid being truly seen. Being physically intimate with your spouse asks something genuinely brave of us, to be seen not just in body but in our wanting, our desire, our reaching, and most of us have gotten very good at hiding those tender parts. She unpacks why being fully known is the very thing that lets the body open, why emotional safety and physical desire are never actually separate, and how protecting what is tender, including offering a kind but firm no when you need one, keeps intimacy safe enough to thrive. If you have ever felt unseen or guarded with the person who loves you most, this one is for you. Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  4. Jul 8

    Afterglow: The 48 Hours That Change Your Marriage

    We tend to think of physical intimacy as a moment, here and then gone. But the research reveals it is actually a window, a lingering afterglow that lasts up to forty-eight hours, and what happens inside that window may matter even more than the moment itself. In this episode Christa unpacks Andrea Meltzer's fascinating research on sexual afterglow, the finding that satisfaction stays elevated for about two days after intimacy and quietly predicts relationship happiness months later. She also does something most teachers skip: she checks whether the finding holds beyond newlyweds, and shares the honest answer, that it has since been replicated in married and committed couples across a range of relationship lengths, so this is not just a honeymoon-phase sparkle. Rather than framing intimacy as a chore, she reveals it as a catalyst, a rolling buffer of goodwill that softens conflict and helps you see your spouse more generously. She connects it to positive and negative sentiment override, why stress quietly tilts us toward reading our partner negatively, and how the healthiest couples catch that tilt in themselves, and names why the sting of rejection lingers even longer than the glow, which is why tender repair matters so much. Warm, freeing, and grounded in real science. Watch on YouTube! ⁠⁠⁠⁠OPEN for Registration! The E + M Summer Intensives, Awakening Connection (Track 1) and Awakening Adventure (Track 2) beginning the week of July 13! Click here!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Scroll down on our podcast page to find episodes on intimacy ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/pod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  5. Jul 8 • Subscribers Only

    Subscriber Series: The Erotic Climate, and How to Build One Together

    This is the deep dive beneath desire discrepancy, where Christa moves from managing frequency to building a shared erotic climate on purpose. She applies the dual control model not to two individuals but to the couple as a single system, showing how shared stress and the mental load press the collective brake while anticipation, novelty, and felt safety press the accelerator. She unpacks the research on what actually creates wanting, why anticipation is its own source of desire, and the counterintuitive finding that planned intimacy is not unromantic but genuinely protective, especially for responsive-desire partners. Then she introduces the willingness gap, the freeing idea that choosing to step toward closeness before desire arrives is not settling but simply how responsive desire works, and how couples turn the accelerator and brakes into a shared dance rather than a standoff. Rich, practical, and full of relief.

  6. Jul 6

    Initiation: Who Reaches, Who Pulls Back, and Why

    Almost every couple navigates it, and almost nobody talks about it openly: the vulnerable dance of initiation. Who reaches for whom, who tends to pull back, and the quiet hurt that builds around it over the years. In this tender and practical episode, Christa brings one of the most unspoken dynamics in marriage into the light. She explains why the lower-initiating partner is so often not less interested but more wounded, how the pursuer-distancer cycle plays out painfully around physical intimacy, and why it is almost never about frequency but about the meaning each reach and pull-back has come to carry. She shows how your Enneagram type and especially your instincts shape who reaches and who waits, why a self-preservation-led spouse may need to feel settled before desire comes online, and why a sexual-instinct-led spouse may feel the lack more acutely. Then she offers a clear, gentle path to change the dance: naming the pattern without blame, separating a no to this moment from a no to you, and making reaching feel safe again for both people. If initiation has become a sore place in your marriage, this episode will help you understand that you are not broken, your spouse is not broken, and the pattern can change. Plus, the Awakening Intimacy course is open and on sale now, one hundred dollars off, with this tender work woven right in. Watch on YouTube! Show notes:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sign up for the Awakening Intimacy Intensive 5 week courses now (Awakening Connection or Awakening Joy) now!!⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠OPEN for Registration! The E + M Summer Intensives, Awakening Connection (Track 1) and Awakening Adventure (Track 2) beginning the week of July 13! Click here!⁠⁠⁠ Scroll down on our podcast page to find episodes on intimacy ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/pod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  7. Jul 1

    Lighting (Safe but Sexy) Fireworks in Your Marriage

    Today we open the July series on sexual intimacy, and there's no better week for lighting the (safe but sexy) fireworks. Not the ones in the sky, the ones in your marriage. Christa dismantles the myth that real passion just strikes like lightning and reveals what the thriving couples actually know: fireworks are built, not stumbled upon, and synthesizes her decades of experience of working with couples to the often-misunderstood Enneagram sexual instinct, reminding listeners that the sexual instinct involves not only the foundational intimacy that we covered in June, but also novelty, intensity, and creative aliveness, not just one-to-one bonding. You'll learn why that matters for your spark, helping you to dissolve years of, sadness, shame and confusion around this area. Warm, honest, faith-friendly, and genuinely freeing, this episode is for you! Watch on YouTube! Get your E + M Love Map Questions Freebie here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠OPEN for Registration! The E + M Summer Intensives, Awakening Connection (Track 1) and Awakening Adventure (Track 2) beginning the week of July 13! Click here!⁠⁠⁠ Scroll down on our podcast page to find episodes on intimacy ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/pod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  8. Jul 1 • Subscribers Only

    Subscriber Series: Why the Spark Fades, and the Science of Reigniting It

    This is the deep dive under the fireworks, where Christa goes all the way into the science of desire, why it fades and what genuinely brings it back. She teaches the single most useful framework in desire research, the dual control model from the Kinsey Institute, the idea that your sexual response runs on both an accelerator and a brake, and why most couples are not lacking desire, they simply have a brake pressed to the floor by stress, resentment, and exhaustion. She goes deeper on spontaneous versus responsive desire, on the neurochemistry of why early passion naturally quiets as dopamine gives way to oxytocin, and on Arthur Aron's research showing how shared novelty can reactivate the brain's reward system and keep passion alive for decades. Most importantly, she shows why reigniting desire is a two-part project, releasing the brakes through emotional safety and pressing the accelerator through novelty and play, and why couples who work both pedals are the ones who rebuild a genuinely alive physical life. Rich, practical, and full of relief. The Awakening Intimacy course is open and on sale now, one hundred off, personalized to your wiring.

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Hosts & Guests

4.5
out of 5
201 Ratings

About

The Enneagram and Marriage Podcast, hosted by Christa Hardin, MA, is rooted in two decades of experience counseling and coaching couples. On top of her expert marriage advice, Christa uses the Enneagram to add another layer of understanding in how we work as individuals and gives us deeper insight into how we connect and shine together in marriage and relationships across the collective community.

Information

  • Creator
    Christa Hardin, MA
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    800
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2019-2024 Christa Hardin "Enneagram and Marriage" All Rights Reserved
  • Show Website
    Enneagram and Marriage
  • Provider
    Christa Hardin

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