How do you win a case when the facts are against you, the law is against you, and everyone in the room knows it? How do you persuade a jury to see your client as a human being instead of a headline? And what does that have to do with selling, leading, or having a difficult conversation with your spouse? In this episode of Sell by Being Human, host Alex Smith sits down with Jennifer Gardner, a Los Angeles trial lawyer with more than 30 years of experience, persuasive communication educator, speaker, and founder of Edge Education. Jennifer has won cases she had no business winning, not because the facts were on her side, but because she understood how to humanize her client, tell a compelling story, and connect with a jury on an emotional level. Jennifer shares how she reverse-engineered her own success to understand what made her approach work. Drawing on her experience as a private criminal defense attorney, she explains that while she can never know for certain whether her message is connecting with a jury during a trial, she knows exactly how she needs to feel to make that connection possible. She also tells the story of the case that made her realize she had “sold” a jury on connecting with another human being, recalls the senior partner who told her she would never succeed, and shares how a grocery store manager demonstrated what genuine human connection looks like in everyday life. The conversation explores why making a legal argument is different from pushing emotional buttons, why self-regulation is the foundation of emotional intelligence, and how mirror neurons help explain why the feelings behind our words can influence others. Jennifer also introduces her Conflict Code framework, drawing on neuroscience and cognitive science to offer practical tools for navigating difficult conversations. Whether you're trying to win a case, close a sale, lead a team, or resolve a disagreement at home, this episode shows why persuasion starts with connection. Tune in to learn how to slow down, be present, build trust, and persuade by being more human, not less. Key Takeaways Selling means humanizing the person in front of you, even an adversaryYou can’t control whether your message lands, but you can control the state of mind you bring to itPresence comes first: ground yourself, then truly listenMost people are in pain, afraid, or both, so listen for what is hurting themSelf-regulation is a leadership skill, and a rule like “no reactive emails until the next day” protects relationshipsMost persuasion is about facts and emotions, not case law or logicEmotions are contagious, so get clear on what you feel and what you want others to feelStory is one of the fastest ways to build rapport and emotional connectionReframing helps people focus on what matters to your case“If you are the tool, trust is the fuel”People can sense when you’re faking it, so be realEveryday connectors, like a grocery store manager, are worth studyingPeople calling for help mostly want to be heard In This Episode: [00:00] Intro and welcome to Jennifer Gardner[01:27] What “sell by being human” means to Jennifer[03:15] The murder case story[07:14] Selling as connection, not spin[08:32] Where her skills came from[12:11] Starting her own firm with no mentor, and winning through storytelling[13:02] Turning an early put-down into fuel[15:52] Private criminal defense and the cases no one else wanted[17:26] “I never know if my message is connecting”[18:06] Feeling like you’re losing until the verdict is read[20:27] First principles anyone can use in everyday conversations[21:32] Presence, listening, and why everyone is in pain or afraid[23:13] Arguments, emotions, and losing control[24:36] Opposing counsel’s tricks and the intensity of the work[27:41] Her self-regulation rules, and the time she broke one[29:47] Persuasion vs. winning an argument[34:19] Why every word is deliberate, even in emails[37:04] Coaching executives[37:26] The Conflict Code framework begins[41:50] Mirror neurons and why “vibes are real”[43:03] Rapport, storytelling, controlling the frame, and trust[46:38] The grocery store manager who masters connection[48:20] Taking calls from people who need help[49:53] Connection as a learnable skill[51:27] What makes Jennifer totally Jennifer[53:17] Where to connect with Jennifer[53:44] Closing Our Guest Jennifer Gardner is a Los Angeles-based trial lawyer, persuasive communication educator, and speaker. For more than 30 years, she has run her own law firm, handling everything from business law to real estate to serious criminal cases. She uses neuro- and cognitive science-based communication skills to achieve results in the courtroom and beyond. She is the founder of Edge Education, where she consults with executives on persuasion, presence, and emotional intelligence. Resources and LinksSell by Being Human Link Jennifer Gardner WebsiteLinkedInThe Edge EducationInstagram Alex Smith WebsiteLinkedIn