A Little Bit Culty

Sarah Edmondson & Anthony “Nippy” Ames

Think you might be in a cult? Want to know the signs? Join Sarah Edmondson and Anthony “Nippy” Ames to talk about things that are..a little bit culty. Or in their case: a whole bunch of culty. As whistleblowers documented in the critically-acclaimed HBO series “The Vow,” Sarah and Nippy have a lot to say about their experience, and burning questions to ask people with similar stories. They’re here to help people understand, heal from, and avoid abusive situations one little red flag at a time. Listen in as they share their stories, have frank and unscripted conversations with other survivors and cult experts, and do a deep dive on how devotion can turn to dysfunction.

  1. Danny Rensch Returns: Stories Behind Dark Squares and Untold: Chess Mates (Part 1)

    1D AGO

    Danny Rensch Returns: Stories Behind Dark Squares and Untold: Chess Mates (Part 1)

    Danny Rensch returns to A Little Bit Culty for a live conversation in Atlanta, where he was in town on the tour stop for his memoir, Dark Squares: How Chess Saved My Life. A fan favorite from our earlier Season 8 appearances, Danny reflects on the book, the life experiences that shaped it, and what it means to finally put language to trauma, manipulation, and survival. In Part 1, Danny opened up about the emotional core of his memoir and the idea that you can’t truly consent if you’re not being told the truth. He talks about how that idea helped him reframe deep self-blame around his own family story, why so many people struggle to name their experiences as abuse or coercion, and how much healing depends on giving yourself grace. We also touched on the Netflix documentary Untold: Chess Mates, which Danny discusses with mixed feelings, especially around editing, nuance, and how the story of the Hans Niemann scandal was framed. He explains what the documentary left out, how the chess world has responded to his memoir, and why he’s most focused on connecting with readers who actually engage with the book. Stay tuned for Part 2 of our conversation. Be sure to watch Untold: Chess Mates on Netflix, read Danny’s memoir, Dark Squares: How Chess Saved My Life, and follow him on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, X, or LinkedIn. Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of coercion, family separation, cult dynamics, emotional abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, and psychological trauma. Also…let it be known that: The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty f*****d. Buy the A Little Bit Culty book on Amazon or order a signed copy. Check out our amazing sponsors Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag Support the pod and smash this link Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred CREDITS: Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames Production Partner: Citizens of Sound Co-Creator: Jess Tardy Audio production: Will Retherford Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore Writer: Sandra Nomoto Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: You don’t have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/culty. Get the right life insurance for YOU, for LESS, and save more than 50% at SelectQuote.com/culty. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    1h 3m
  2. 1D AGO ·  BONUS

    You Might Also Like: No Magic Pill with Blake Mycoskie

    Introducing Can Psychedelics Get You Through Your Darkest Days? w/ Michael Pollan from No Magic Pill with Blake Mycoskie. Follow the show: No Magic Pill with Blake Mycoskie When Blake was at the lowest point in his life, a small dose of a psychoactive cacti called San Pedro showed him the truth underneath everything. He recorded the session and in this episode he shares certain moments with journalist Michael Pollan (author of How to Change Your Mind) to break down what happened. They discuss the power of pairing psychedelics with meditation, the breakthroughs that can come with ego disillusion, and the misguided assumption that’s driving the belief that AI can become conscious. Plus, how Michael’s experiencing gardening while on mushrooms inspired the opening chapter of his new book, A World Appears. In this conversation you’ll learn: – Why psychedelics are unlike any other drug – The importance of set and setting when taking plant medicine  – Why light doses are often more effective than heavier doses – How to break the pattern of ruminating thoughts – The critical period after a psychedelic experience – The opportunities and dangers of AI therapy You can learn more about Michael Pollan and buy his books at https://michaelpollan.com/.  Enough Foundation's mission is to spread reminders in every form — bracelets, messages, actions, community — until feeling ENOUGH becomes the cultural default. To learn more, visit weareenough.co.  Produced, Directed, and Cinematography by Wubetu Shimelash / IG: Wubetu Shimelash Disclaimer: No purchase necessary. While supplies last. Visit http://www.weareenough.co/rules for full terms. More information on Blake’s other projects here:  Morning Water  Morning Water is a daily hydration formula that restores energy, balance, and performance with essential electrolytes, minerals, and nutrients in one simple routine.  To learn more, visit morningwater.co and use code NOMAGICPILL for 25% off your first order. SONIA  Sonia is a conversational AI companion designed for emotional support. Through voice and text, it offers guided wellbeing sessions, including meditations, journaling, personalized recommendations, and practical exercises. To learn more, visit www.soniahealth.com and download it on the App Store. MOOVLAB At MOOVLAB, we bring health and wellness to your workday.  MOOVLAB - the answer to sitting is moving.  To learn more, visit www.moovlab.com Follow Blake on Instagram and stay up to date with Lemonada on Facebook and Instagram. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at lemonadapremium.com. Subscribe to Spotify Premium to watch ad-free video. Disclaimer: This episode is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical questions or concerns you may have. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction — Michael Pollan & Blake's Personal Journey 02:54 How Michael Got Into Psychedelics 04:32 The Research That Started It All 05:30 Which Psychedelic Had the Most Profound Impact 06:28 Ego Dissolution 08:35 Set & Setting 09:35 The Importance of Finding a Guide You Trust 11:19 Blake's Story: Depression, Misdiagnosis & Getting Off Meds 12:24 The San Pedro Session: Blake's Therapy Recording 13:40 What Is a Psycholytic Dose & How It Works 14:48 The "I'm Not Enough" Realization 15:45 Why a Small Dose Can Reveal the Biggest Truth 17:41 "In the Midst of Your Discomfort, You're Still Reaching" 18:49 How to Find the Right Psychedelic Guide 19:43 "You're Not Wrong, You're Not Bad": End of Blake's Session 21:44 Michael’s Experience with Psilocybin and Plant Consciousness 25:25 Morning Water 26:41 Blake's 40-Day "I Am Enough" Mantra Practice 30:15 What Happened in Blake's Brain 31:15 How Psychedelics Reset Mental Grooves 32:36 When Meditation Completes What Psychedelics Begin 34:15 Taking Advantage After a Session 35:14 Moovlab 36:15 AI 37:30 Why the Brain Is Nothing Like a Computer 40:07 Consciousness Begins With Feelings, Not Thoughts 42:02 The Threat of AI 43:10 Blake's AI Therapist Sonia 47:32 Can AI Really Replace a Human Therapist? 48:01 The Dangerous Side of AI Therapy 49:18 AI Will Trick Us Into Thinking It's Conscious 51:20 Deconstructing the Self 55:24 Five Years Studying Consciousness 57:17 The Night Sky Moment & Being Fully Alive 58:53 Final Message: Be Happy in Your Mind Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to team@podroll.fm.

  3. Shattered, Broken, and Beautiful: Brooke Deanne on Jehovah’s Witnesses (Part 2)

    5D AGO

    Shattered, Broken, and Beautiful: Brooke Deanne on Jehovah’s Witnesses (Part 2)

    In Part 2 of our conversation with Brooke Deanne, we get into the moment the whole thing finally cracked wide open: the knife incident that became her final straw, the divorce that followed, and the painfully familiar push-pull of leaving a trauma-bonded relationship. Brooke also shared how the Jehovah’s Witness elders protected the wrong person, why the system kept men in power, and how shunning can make you feel like you’ve been erased by your own people. We follow Brooke through the aftermath: PTSD, panic attacks, therapy that didn’t have the right language for religious trauma, and the very relatable “oops, I traded one cult for another” detour into New Age spirituality. Along the way, she talks about rebuilding trust in her body, learning to spot red flags, exploring somatic work and psychedelics, and finding safer, saner ways to heal—because apparently the nervous system did not sign up for any of this nonsense. Be sure to pick up Brooke’s book, Shattered, Broken, and Beautiful: Losing My Religion and Finding Faith, or follow her on her website, brookedeanne.com, or social media. Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of cults, coercive control, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, shunning, trauma bonding, religious trauma, PTSD, panic attacks, and discussion of psychedelics. Also…let it be known that: The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty f*****d. Buy the A Little Bit Culty book on Amazon or order a signed copy. Check out our amazing sponsors Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag Support the pod and smash this link Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred CREDITS: Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames Production Partner: Citizens of Sound Co-Creator: Jess Tardy Audio production: Will Retherford Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore Writer: Sandra Nomoto Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    45 min
  4. Shattered, Broken, and Beautiful: Brooke Deanne on Jehovah’s Witnesses (Part 1)

    MAY 11

    Shattered, Broken, and Beautiful: Brooke Deanne on Jehovah’s Witnesses (Part 1)

    In Part 1 with Brooke Deanne, we chat about her growing up as a third-generation Jehovah’s Witness, the deliciously bad idea of confusing control with “truth,” and what it’s like to be raised in a system where curiosity gets shut down before it can even put on shoes. Brooke walks us through the culty greatest hits: conditional love, shunning, hierarchy, weirdly intense rules about sex and marriage, and the kind of spiritual bookkeeping that makes you feel like you’re always one bad decision away from being sent to the cosmic timeout corner. We also cover Brooke’s marriage, the abuse she survived, and how religious training, family dynamics, and trauma can all pile on and make it harder to see what’s actually happening in real time. She brings a therapist’s eye to the whole mess, connecting the dots between attachment, gaslighting, trauma bonding, and the very human urge to keep trying to be the “good girl” even when the whole system is rigged. You’ll want to stay tuned for Part 2 of our convo. Be sure to pick up Brooke’s book, Shattered, Broken, and Beautiful: Losing My Religion and Finding Faith, or follow her on her website, brookedeanne.com, or social media. Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of cults, coercive control, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, shunning, trauma bonding, gaslighting, and religious trauma. Also…let it be known that: The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty f*****d. Buy the A Little Bit Culty book on Amazon or order a signed copy. Check out our amazing sponsors Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag Support the pod and smash this link Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred CREDITS: Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames Production Partner: Citizens of Sound Co-Creator: Jess Tardy Audio production: Will Retherford Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore Writer: Sandra Nomoto Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    46 min
  5. Where Are They Now? Isabella Constantino on Post-NXIVM Healing and Identity (Part 2)

    MAY 7

    Where Are They Now? Isabella Constantino on Post-NXIVM Healing and Identity (Part 2)

    In Part 2 of our Where Are They Now? series with Isabella Constantino, we spill more on NXIVM, Keith Raniere, and the long shadow of cult recovery. Since first sharing her story, Isabella has been doing the brave, messy, non-linear work of rebuilding: untangling identity, processing trauma, and figuring out who she is outside a high-control group that once shaped so much of her early adult life.  We talk about healing after coercive control, the surprises of post-cult growth, what still lingers years later, and how freedom isn’t always one big movie-ending moment, but a thousand small choices. Isabella reminds us that leaving a cult is one chapter; learning to live afterward is the sequel. Follow Isabella on her website, isabellaconstantino.com, or on Facebook or Instagram @ic_artconstantly. Also…let it be known that: The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty f*****d. Buy the A Little Bit Culty book on Amazon or order a signed copy. Check out our amazing sponsors Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag Support the pod and smash this link Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred CREDITS: Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames Production Partner: Citizens of Sound Co-Creator: Jess Tardy Audio production: Will Retherford Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore Writer: Sandra Nomoto Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    44 min
  6. Where Are They Now? Isabella Constantino on Post-NXIVM Healing and Identity (Part 1)

    MAY 4

    Where Are They Now? Isabella Constantino on Post-NXIVM Healing and Identity (Part 1)

    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. In the first installment of our “Where Are They Now?” series, we catch up with Season 5 guest Isabella Constantino to find out what life looks like after NXIVM when the smoke clears and the cult fog machine finally runs out of juice. Isabella shares what she’s been up to lately, including working at an art museum in Buffalo, and talks honestly about the long, weird, non-linear business of healing—because recovery is not a quick weekend workshop with flip charts and matching outfits. We also revisited her time in Albany, where the pressure was high, the logic was loopy, and the vibe was of a productivity cult with a side of emotional whiplash. We touch on her working on her Tourette’s with Nancy Salzman and the gaslighty phone calls from Mark Elliott trying to sell the miracle cure. We chat information silos, the body keeping score, and why sometimes the biggest breakthrough is simply realizing, “Oh, right… that was bananas.” Stay tuned for Part 2 on Thursday. Follow Isabella on her website, isabellaconstantino.com, or on Facebook or Instagram @ic_artconstantly. Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of cults, coercive control, emotional abuse, gaslighting, eating disorder themes, trauma, compulsive overwork, isolation, and mention of suicidal ideation. Also…let it be known that: The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty f*****d. Buy the A Little Bit Culty book on Amazon or order a signed copy. Check out our amazing sponsors Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag Support the pod and smash this link Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred CREDITS: Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames Production Partner: Citizens of Sound Co-Creator: Jess Tardy Audio production: Will Retherford Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore Writer: Sandra Nomoto Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: You don’t have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/culty. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    42 min
  7. International School of Temple Arts (ISTA): Two Insiders Expose Consent, Control, and Cult Dynamics (Part 2)

    APR 30

    International School of Temple Arts (ISTA): Two Insiders Expose Consent, Control, and Cult Dynamics (Part 2)

    In Part 2, we continue our convo with Cara Cardoni and “Lina” about ISTA, the International School of Temple Arts, and the deeper red flags that pushed them to finally leave. Cara and Lina describe how the group used glossy language, spiritual framing, and “consent” rhetoric to obscure coercion, while the reality included harm, manipulation, and a system that made it hard to tell what was actually happening. They speak about the moment each of them saw the organization more clearly: Cara describes finding a survivor Facebook group, learning about patterns of abuse, and realizing when she raised concerns, she was DARVOd (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, a manipulation tactic used to evade accountability).  Lina shares the devastating account of being raped at an ISTA retreat, the years it took her to name it as rape, and the way ISTA’s response, including NDA pressure and refund games, exposed the hypocrisy beneath the “healing” branding. They also dig into the bigger system around ISTA, including labor exploitation, sex work versus trafficking, temple trainings as a funnel, and the overlap with other guru-led communities. The message is clear: if something feels off, leave, because these groups are built to exploit the very human instinct to belong. Also read The Cut’s article, “The Neo-Tantric Sex Group That Promised to Change,” for background on ISTA and Lina’s story. Check out Safer Sex-Positive & Spiritual Communities (3SC) at 3sc.community and Cara Cardoni’s Substack, and podcast, Fool's Gold: Discernment in the Age of Grift, on YouTube or where you listen to your pods. Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of sexual assault, rape, coercive control, manipulation, gaslighting, emotional abuse, cultic behavior, trauma, labor exploitation, sex trafficking, and references to suicidal ideation. Also…let it be known that: The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty f*****d. Buy the A Little Bit Culty book on Amazon or order a signed copy. Check out our amazing sponsors Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag Support the pod and smash this link Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred CREDITS: Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames Production Partner: Citizens of Sound Co-Creator: Jess Tardy Audio production: Will Retherford Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore Writer: Sandra Nomoto Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    51 min
  8. International School of Temple Arts (ISTA): Two Insiders Expose Consent, Control, and Cult Dynamics (Part 1)

    APR 27

    International School of Temple Arts (ISTA): Two Insiders Expose Consent, Control, and Cult Dynamics (Part 1)

    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. In this episode, we sit down with Cara Cardoni and “Lina” (whose real name remains anonymous) to unpack their experience with ISTA, the International School of Temple Arts, AKA the “Harvard of Sacred Sexuality” that turned out to have a lot more red flags than a festival wristband. Cara and Lina describe how they came to ISTA looking for healing, community, intimacy, and expansion, and how the pitch was wrapped in glossy marketing, “consent” language, intensity, and just enough spiritual seasoning to make the whole thing look transformational. We get into the mechanics of how ISTA works, including LGAT sessions, “Horse and Rider,” “Pillow Thrusting,” “sacred spot,” emotional release tools, and the way language was used to lower defenses and keep people compliant. Cara and Lina also talk about the pressure to stay in the room, the expectation to surrender judgment, the push toward sexualized exercises, and how the group’s “no attachments” vibe could be used to make people doubt their own boundaries. A major theme is how easily self-help gets weaponized when charisma, group pressure, and pseudo-intimacy mix. Both guests reflect on the difference between real growth and being manipulated into thinking you’re the problem, and they connect the dots between ISTA’s practices and other groups listeners will know from the show. You’ll want to stay tuned for Part 2. Also read The Cut’s article, “The Neo-Tantric Sex Group That Promised to Change,” for background on ISTA and Lina’s story. Check out Safer Sex-Positive & Spiritual Communities (3SC) at 3sc.community and Cara Cardoni’s Substack, and podcast, Fool's Gold: Discernment in the Age of Grift, on YouTube or where you listen to your pods. Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of sexual coercion and coercive control, manipulation, emotional and psychological abuse, group pressure, cultic behavior, nudity, sexualized exercises, and references to trauma and predatory conduct. Also…let it be known that: The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty f*****d. Buy the A Little Bit Culty book on Amazon or order a signed copy. Check out our amazing sponsors Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag Support the pod and smash this link Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred CREDITS: Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames Production Partner: Citizens of Sound Co-Creator: Jess Tardy Audio production: Will Retherford Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore Writer: Sandra Nomoto Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/culty. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    54 min

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About

Think you might be in a cult? Want to know the signs? Join Sarah Edmondson and Anthony “Nippy” Ames to talk about things that are..a little bit culty. Or in their case: a whole bunch of culty. As whistleblowers documented in the critically-acclaimed HBO series “The Vow,” Sarah and Nippy have a lot to say about their experience, and burning questions to ask people with similar stories. They’re here to help people understand, heal from, and avoid abusive situations one little red flag at a time. Listen in as they share their stories, have frank and unscripted conversations with other survivors and cult experts, and do a deep dive on how devotion can turn to dysfunction.

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